Category: abuse

How to Protect Your Heart from Emotional Manipulation in Relationships – Part 3

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“Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” ~ Proverbs 4:23 (NIV)

This is part 3 of a 5-part series on guarding your heart in relationships. As women, we are nurturing by nature and referred to in the Bible as the “weaker vessel” (1 Peter 3:7). This isn’t a reflection of value but a design that calls us to be helpers to men, wired to bring support and care into relationships. Men instinctively know this about us, and while this dynamic can bring balance and beauty, it also leaves room for misuse when not approached with God’s wisdom and guidance.

Navigating relationships as a woman is both rewarding and challenging. The desire for meaningful connection is God-given, but it is essential to protect your heart from those who might exploit your trust and affection. This article will help you recognize emotional manipulation, safeguard your heart, and keep your relationships aligned with God’s design.

Understanding the Issue

In Christian communities, marriage is often emphasized as the goal of relationships. Traditionally, men are seen as leaders in pursuing this commitment. However, some misuse this dynamic, taking advantage of women’s nurturing nature to gain emotional support, companionship or even material benefits without the intention of genuine commitment, dodging the responsibility and accountability God places on the man.

This behavior distorts the biblical model of relationships, which calls for love, mutual respect, and service. Scripture, especially passages like 1 Corinthians 13 and Ephesians 5:25, reminds us that relationships should reflect Christ-like love. When someone enjoys the benefits of a relationship—such as emotional support or marital privileges—without accountability, it can leave women feeling devalued and disrespected.

How Women Can Protect Themselves

Guarding your heart requires awareness, boundaries, and trust in God’s plan for your life. Below are practical steps to help you stay vigilant and protect yourself from emotional manipulation.

1. Recognize Red Flags Early On

Understanding warning signs can save you from heartache.

Signs to Watch For:

• He avoids discussing long-term plans or commitment.

• He benefits emotionally, practically, or financially but does not reciprocate.

• He dodges conversations about defining the relationship or its future.

What to Do:

• Trust patterns, not promises. Actions speak louder than words.

• If he consistently avoids clarity, prayerfully consider whether the relationship is aligned with God’s will.

2. Set Healthy Boundaries

Boundaries are essential for protecting your emotional and spiritual well-being.

Practical Steps:

• Define your boundaries early and communicate them clearly.

• Avoid giving “marital privileges” without a commitment, such as deep emotional investment, financial support, or physical intimacy.

• Stand firm when someone pressures you to compromise your values.

3. Avoid Rushing into Emotional Investment

Deep emotional connections should develop gradually, based on proven sincerity.

Suggestion:

• Take time to assess his character and intentions.

• Observe his response to your boundaries. Respect is a crucial indicator of genuine love.

• Trust God’s timing and allow relationships to grow organically.

4. Seek Accountability and Godly Counsel

Sometimes emotions can cloud judgment. Trusted counsel can help you see clearly.

Why It’s Important:

• Trusted friends, mentors, or spiritual leaders provide objective insights.

• A godly community helps you stay grounded in biblical principles.

5. Embrace Your Value and Worth in Christ

Your identity is rooted in Christ, not in a relationship or another person’s validation.

Reminders:

• Reflect on Psalm 139:14: “I am fearfully and wonderfully made.”

• When you know your worth in God’s eyes, you won’t settle for less than His best for you.

What to Look for in a Healthy Relationship

A godly relationship should reflect the principles of love, respect, and mutual commitment. Seek these qualities in a potential partner:

• Respect: He honors your boundaries and values your emotions.

• Clear Intentions: He communicates openly and aligns his actions with his words.

• Sacrificial Love: He demonstrates Christ-like love through selflessness and support.

• Accountability: He welcomes godly counsel and community oversight.

Taking Control of the Situation

If you notice red flags or feel uncertain about someone’s intentions, take proactive steps to protect your heart:

1. Clarify Your Own Needs: Align your relationship expectations with God’s principles.

2. Evaluate Actions Over Words: Look for consistency between what he says and does.

3. Have a Direct Conversation: Express your concerns openly and see how he responds.

4. Be Willing to Walk Away: If he doesn’t respect your boundaries or intentions, trust God’s plan and let go.

Conclusion

Relationships are designed to reflect God’s love—honest, sacrificial, and committed. Emotional manipulation undermines this purpose and can leave women feeling used and devalued. By staying vigilant, setting boundaries, and seeking godly counsel, you can protect your heart and honor both God and yourself in your relationships.

It’s essential to remember that you cannot change a person—only God can transform hearts. Men are not “build-a-bear” projects, and it’s not your responsibility to fix or mold someone into who you hope they could be. Trying to do so often leads to frustration and heartache.

The fear of being alone or not finding someone can make it tempting to settle for less than God’s best. But settling out of fear compromises your values and leads to unfulfilling relationships. Trust God’s timing, knowing that He has good plans for you (Jeremiah 29:11).

Never forget: your worth is found in Christ, not in a man’s approval. True love reflects God’s design, where respect, integrity, and godliness thrive. Stay rooted in His Word, embrace your identity in Him, and let Him guide you toward relationships that bring joy, growth, and lasting love.

When God’s Truth Gets Compromised

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Woe to those who call evil good, and good evil; Who put darkness for light, and light for darkness; Who put bitter for sweet, and sweet for bitter! Woe to those who are wise in their own eyes, And clever in their own sight! ~ Isaiah 5:20-24

The connection between rejecting God’s revealed truth and the widespread moral and spiritual failures within the Church is profound. This issue goes beyond cases of abuse or leadership compromise; it strikes at the heart of how the Church perceives and proclaims the authority of God.

The Importance of God’s Design for Marriage

Marriage is not merely a social construct; it is a sacred institution established by God to symbolize the relationship between Christ and His Church (Ephesians 5:31–32). This covenant reflects God’s character, His faithfulness, and His love for humanity. When leaders reject or distort God’s design for marriage, they are not only undermining biblical teaching—they are denying the authority of the Creator Himself.

When a leader aligns with ideologies that contradict God’s revealed pattern for life and sexuality, they are no longer serving the God they are ordained to represent. By accepting cultural redefinitions of marriage and affirming practices contrary to Scripture, they openly reject God’s authority over creation and dismiss His character as good, wise, and loving.

The Assumption:

• If God’s design for marriage is no longer ‘good,’ then God Himself cannot be good, but that is a lie. Psalm 145:9 states, “The Lord is good to all, and his mercy is over all that he has made.”

• If God’s definition of marriage is labeled ‘offensive’ or ‘homophobic,’ then God is cast as a dictator rather than a loving Creator, but that is a lie. John 3:16 states, “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.”

• If God’s Word is dismissed as irrelevant in modern society, the Church does not lose its foundation or witness, as this claim is a lie. The gates of hell will not prevail against the true Church, which is not confined to manmade denominations but is the community of faithful believers (Matthew 16:18). Scripture, such as Hebrews 4:12, affirms that God’s Word is alive, active, and transformative, reaching the depths of human nature and exposing truth.

When Church leaders publicly reject the biblical definition of marriage, they reject Christ Himself. This is not a small error; it is a profound act of betrayal. Leadership in the Church requires not just personal faith but a commitment to defend and proclaim the truth of God’s Word, no matter the cultural pressures.

The Connection to Abuse and Cover-Ups

This rejection of God’s authority is deeply connected to the Church’s failure to address abuse. The same leaders who abandon biblical teaching on marriage and sexuality are often the ones who prioritize institutional reputation over justice and truth. Both failures stem from a desire to appease societal trends or maintain power rather than honor God and protect His flock.

The many abuse cases demonstrates the disastrous consequences of this approach. When leaders fail to bring sin into the light, they betray victims, misrepresent Christ, and erode trust in the Church. The attempt to cover up abuse is not merely a failure of human judgment—it is a rejection of the gospel’s call to repentance, justice, and restoration.

Cultural Capitulation Harms the Gospel

The broader cultural capitulation to ideologies around marriage, gender, and sexuality has only deepened the Church’s crisis. By aligning itself with these movements, the Church sends a message that God’s Word is outdated or incorrect. This not only leads Christians astray but gives secular ideologies the power to infiltrate and reshape the Church’s teaching.

For instance, under compromised leadership:

• Children are taught unbiblical ideologies in schools, often endorsed by Church policies.

• Faithful Christians are ostracized for upholding Scripture, losing jobs and reputations.

• Sinful behaviors are affirmed, leaving many under the false impression that they are in right standing with God.

These failures have eternal consequences. Scripture warns that those who live unrepentantly in sin will not inherit the kingdom of God (1 Corinthians 6:9). Leaders who affirm sin or fail to call for repentance are complicit in leading others away from salvation.

Rejecting Christ Through Compromise

The rejection of God’s design for marriage is not a mere doctrinal misstep; it is a rejection of Christ Himself. The Archbishop of Canterbury, and leaders like him, disqualify themselves from spiritual leadership by their blatant denial of foundational truths.

The Bible makes clear that leaders will be judged more strictly by God because their actions and words influence others, they have a big responsibility. They’re supposed to guide others toward God and live as good examples. If they lead people the wrong way, they’re held accountable for that (James 3:1). Matthew 7:15–20 warns us to watch out for leaders who seem good on the outside but don’t actually live in a way that honors God. Jesus says you can tell who they really are by their “fruit.”

If a leader’s actions show compromise, dishonesty and cause spiritual harm, they’re not following Jesus faithfully. In fact, they’re going against Him, no matter what they claim. This kind of behavior is “anti-Christ,” opposing what Jesus stands for. When the fruit of leadership is compromise, deceit and confusion, it is evidence of a failure to remain faithful to Christ.

In short: Leaders have a heavy responsibility to lead well. If their actions don’t match their words and they cause harm instead of helping, again, it shows they aren’t being faithful to Christ. That’s why we need to be careful and pay attention to what kind of “fruit” their leadership produces.

This is not a minor issue. Leaders who reject biblical truth about marriage, sexuality, or holiness cannot effectively shepherd God’s people. They have aligned themselves with a worldview that is “at enmity with God” (James 4:4).

A Call to Repentance and Reform

The solution to these intertwined issues—abuse cover-ups and doctrinal compromise—lies in repentance and a return to biblical faithfulness. The Church must:

1. Appoint leaders who are born-again, Spirit-filled, and uncompromising in their commitment to Scripture.

2. Hold leaders accountable to God’s standards, not human traditions or cultural pressures.

3. Confront sin openly and pursue justice for victims, trusting in God’s power to restore and heal.

The Church must reject the temptation to conform to societal ideologies and instead boldly proclaim the truth of the gospel. As Jesus said, “If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples. Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free” (John 8:31–32).

True freedom—freedom from sin, deception, and spiritual harm—comes only through faithfulness to Christ. Leaders who reject this truth and lead others astray bring judgment upon themselves and harm the Church’s witness.

Let us pray for a revival of truth and faithfulness within the Church. May God raise up leaders who will honor His Word, protect His people, and restore the Church’s commitment to the gospel. Only through His grace can the Church be cleansed and renewed.

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***Based on CEO Andrea Williams article at Christian Concern / Photo by Lil Artsy at Pexels

When A Spiritual Leader Falls From Grace

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This is what the LORD says: “Cursed is the one who trusts in man, who depends on flesh for his strength and whose heart turns away from the Lord.” — Jeremiah 17:5

When Spiritual Leaders Fall: How to Stay Strong

A lot of Christians face moments when a spiritual hero falls. This could be a father, coach, mentor, pastor, or leader—someone you admire, whose books you read or whose ministry you follow. The awareness that they’ve fallen can deeply shake any believer’s faith. Here are a few ways to recover and remain strong when faced with instances like this.

Understand This to Remain Unmovable

1. Miracles Are a Sign That God Is Good, Not a Confirmation of a Minister’s Integrity

When you discover that a minister you follow has had a moral failing, scandals surface, and your faith might get shaken. Many become distrustful, skeptical, and afraid, closing their hearts to new leaders.

I experienced this at 16 or 17 when a gentleman, whom God used in another country, fell. I had followed him closely—buying every book he had, listening to every sermon, and trying to pray and fast like he did. But when I found out about his immoral behavior, it shook me. You go from admiring them to suddenly distrusting all leaders. This skepticism can settle in your heart, making it difficult to trust again.

It’s important to understand that while miracles are a sign that God is good, they do not always confirm that the minister is good. When people are used by God for miracles like prophesying, healing, or deliverance, we often assume it’s because of their holiness. However, this view is incomplete and inaccurate.

2. It’s the Devil’s Goal to Allow the Minister to Rise as High as Possible Before a Big Fall

I believe that sometimes the devil allows a minister to live in secret sin for a long time, allowing them to rise to prominence. When they eventually fall, the damage is much greater. The more well-known the minister, the greater the harm within the body of Christ.

The devil knows this and waits for the right moment to cause the most damage. When a leader with influence falls, it can create widespread distrust and pain among believers.

3. God Is the One Who Brings Hidden Things to Light

Luke 8:17 says, “For nothing is secret that will not be revealed, nor anything hidden that will not be known and come to light.”

God reveals both good and bad things done in secret. He is patient, wanting everyone to come to repentance, but when leaders refuse to repent, God eventually exposes their sin to prevent further harm.

4. When We Notice Unrepentant Sin in Our Leaders, We Can’t Ignore It

Don’t ignore unrepentant sin in your leaders. Address issues like sexual immorality, dishonesty, denial of core doctrines, abuse of power, or lack of self-control in a respectful manner. If leaders isolate followers and demand absolute loyalty, it’s a sign of a cult.

When leaders control aspects of their followers’ lives—associations, living arrangements, finances—and manipulate them through fear, they are leading through a demonic trap of control and witchcraft.

5. You Can Receive a Blessing from a Ministry Without It Being Contaminated

Even if a ministry later falls into scandal, the blessings you received from it are still from God. For example, if Judas gave a gift from Jesus’s ministry fund before his betrayal, the gift was still valid. Similarly, if you were blessed by a ministry that later faced moral failure, those blessings came from God, not the fallen leader, and therefore, they are not contaminated.

How to Heal

Grieve, Don’t Gloat

When leaders fall, it’s painful. Grieve for them instead of gloating. We see in the Bible that Samuel grieved for Saul (1 Samuel 16), and we should do the same for fallen leaders.

Heal with Time

Healing takes time, but with Jesus, it is possible. Spend time in His presence and allow Him to guide you through the process. Don’t let betrayal turn into bitterness. Release unforgiveness and trust that God has a better future for you. Remember, just because one leader fell doesn’t mean all will. God has still raised up good leaders.

Trust Slowly

Forgiveness doesn’t mean instant trust. Trust must be earned over time. It’s important to forgive fallen leaders, but trust is something they need to rebuild.

Be Hopeful

Despite some ministers falling, many others remain strong and faithful. Focus on leaders who demonstrate godly character and consistent good fruit, rather than those who are merely famous. Trust that God can restore what has been lost and bring healing and hope for the future.

Bible Verses to Reflect On

It is better to trust in the Lord than to put confidence in man. It is better to trust in the Lord than to put confidence in princes. — Psalm 118:8-9

Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make straight your paths. — Proverbs 3:5-6

There is no distinction: for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God. — Romans 3:23

If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. — 1 John 1:8-10

“I am the Lord! That is My name! I will not share My glory with anyone else, or the praise due Me with idols.” — Isaiah 42:8

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By Vladimir Savchuk | © Copyright – Vladimir Savchuk. No changes whatsoever are to be made to the content of the article without written permission from the author at HungryGen. / Photo by Luis Quintero.

Crisis Pregnancy Help: Find the Support You Need

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Need help? Empowering women with compassionate care for crisis pregnancies, you are not alone – pregnancy support, guidance and resources in the UK and USA at Pro Life Connect.

If you’re pregnant and unsure of what comes next, you’re not alone. This page is dedicated to providing you with compassionate support and valuable resources to help you through your journey. We have gathered a list of trusted organizations offering assistance with pregnancy, parenting, adoption, and emotional support. Explore the links to find practical help, whether you need medical care, counselling, or simply someone to talk to. No matter where you are in your journey, there are options available, and we’re here to help you find the path that’s right for you and your baby.

HOPE PREGNANCY 

HOPE Pregnancy offers kindness, truth, and support for anyone in an unexpected or challenging pregnancy who is unsure what to do and looking for help. 

We are here to listen, and with compassion, we use honest language to help them think through their situation for themselves. 

CONTACT  

Website: www.hopepregnancy.org.uk 

Contact page on their website link. 

PASE 

If you are a mother or father bereaved by abortion. If you are seeking to support a mother grieving the loss of her baby to abortion, if you are a church leader looking for ways to make access to support after abortion easier in your church, Welcome! Abortion affects the whole society. Each of us bears some responsibility for the death of each baby. Together we have let down the parents who carry the burden, but together we can make a way for them to find peace again. 

CONTACT 

Website: http://www.postabortsupport.org.uk 

Contact page on their website link. 

RACHEL’S VINEYARD 

Rachel’s Vineyard is a healing ministry for those who are suffering from the trauma of abortion(s) or have been closely connected to someone who is; this includes siblings, grandparents, aunts etc.  We recognise that abortion impacts the wider family and community.  

We also support those that have worked in the abortion industry and subsequently regret the part they played in abortion decisions. 

CONTACT 

Website: rachelsvineyard.org.uk 

National Support Centre – Call:  07734 059 080 

Email: rachel@rachelsvineyard.org.uk 

THE GOOD COUNSEL NETWORK  

The Good Counsel Network is a life-affirming women’s organisation which offers moral support, medical information, legal advice and practical help to women seeking abortion. We reach out to these women to inform them about the risks to their physical and psychological health and present them with realistic alternatives to abortion. We deal with the hardest cases of crisis pregnancy every day. 

CONTACT 

Website: www.goodcounselnet.co.uk 

Email: info@goodcounselnetwork.com 

Call:  020-7723-1740  

LIFE CHARITY 

Life is a UK charity from women and families facing unexpected pregnancy or pregnancy loss, including abortion. Services include: emotional help, counselling, housing and community support around the country for mums and their babies, free supplies and much more… 

CONTACT 

Website: www.lifecharity.org.uk 

Call:  0808 802 5433  

Text: 07860 077339 

Contact page on their website link. 

COERCION IS ABUSE 

COERCED ABORTION IS ABUSE. PRESSURIZED CONSENT IS NOT CONSENT.  

The narrative around abortion decisions is often focused on ‘choice’ and ‘autonomy’, but that is far from the reality that many women face. Women often find themselves subject to coercion and pressure to have an abortion from partners, family members, employers, healthcare staff or others in their life. This pressure can be subtle, like suggesting she would be unable to cope with parenthood, to severe, like threatening violence if she refuses to have an abortion. This coercion often goes unidentified by clinic and healthcare staff, and women go on to have abortions they never wanted. This is not informed consent. Coerced abortion is abuse, and women deserve to be protected from it.  

Life is a UK charity from women and families facing unexpected pregnancy or pregnancy loss, including abortion. Services include: emotional help, counselling, housing and community support around the country for mums and their babies, free supplies and much more… 

CONTACT 

Website: www.coercionisabuse.org 

Call the helpline: 0345 603 8501 

Email: info@archtrust.org.uk 

THE ALMA MATER FUND 

The Alma Mater Fund provides financial grants to pregnant students facing difficulties at universities across the UK, in order to support them in pursuing their academic and personal goals. Through the work of the initiative, the Alma Mater Fund coordinator can also direct students to further sources of support and advice.  

CONTACT 

Website: www.spuc.org.uk/alma-mater-fund 

Call, text or WhatsApp:  07849 088 244  

Email: info@almamaterfund.org.uk 

LIFE FERTILITY CARE 

Treatment for infertility and miscarriage. Committed to keeping conception the natural way by combining restorative reproductive medicine with naturopathy. Did your heart sink when IVF was mentioned at your fertility consultation? Want to keep the ‘lovingly conceived’ aspect of your fertility story?  

We are here to guide how to stay true to God’s plan for conception and make your dream for a family a reality. 

CONTACT 

Website: www.fiatfertilitycare.co.uk 

Email: fertilitycare@lifecharity.org.uk 

Call: 01926 834654 

Contact page of their website link

Victor Marx “A Warrior for Christ” From Victim to Victory

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Video – Victor Mark’s testimony is one of the redemptive power of God

Nothing is impossible for God! He is the restorer and healer of all things, if you give it to Him.

Victor Marx is a remarkable figure who has dedicated his life to humanitarian efforts and helping those trapped in devastating circumstances, including victims of human trafficking. Overcoming his own traumatic childhood of serious abuse and neglect, he transformed his pain into a mission to bring hope and restoration to others.

Through his organisation, All Things Possible Ministries, Victor works in high-risk areas, including war zones and regions plagued by human trafficking, to rescue and rehabilitate those in need. His ministry has impacted tens of thousands of lives, including children and survivors of abuse, as well as prisoners through his outreach programmes. His work exemplifies courage, faith, and perseverance.

Victor Marx is also a devoted family man with over 34 years of marriage, five children, and five grandchildren. He shares his wisdom and experiences to inspire others, blending his military discipline, faith, and compassionate outlook to build successful relationships and empower individuals to thrive despite life’s challenges.

Notable Quotes by Victor Marx:

“Kids who are born in the fire , will not be burned by the heat of life”

“Forgiveness is giving up your right to hurt someone back for hurting you.”

“Forgiving: gaining real estate in your heart to both give and receive love”

Support

To support Victor Marx’s ministry and his mission to bring hope, freedom, and restoration to those in desperate need, consider contributing to All Things Possible Ministries: Support

Outstanding interviews with Victor Marx at the Shaun Ryan show

Part 1 – How Victor became the Guinness book of records fastest gun disarmer in the world

Part 2 – Overcoming childhood terror

Part 3 – How big tech and AI influence child predators

Helpful Posts:

Trusting God to Heal the Scars of Sexual Abuse

8 Steps to Forgiveness and Learning How to Forgive

Who I am in Christ

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*** By Lori McPherson / Photo: Outreach magazine / YouTube Video Victor Marx / Victor Marx book: The Dangerous Gentlemen