Wisdom – The Sisterhood Hub

How to T.H.I.N.K. Before You Speak and Not Put Your Foot in Your Mouth

Published on April 13, 2024May 3, 2024 by Editor

Gracious words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones ~ Proverbs 16:24

Do you remember all the situations where you said something you regretted deeply? All the times where you wished to have thought a little bit better before speaking and avoided the embarrassment you faced. I can surely make a long list for the same and I’m sure you have plenty of those just like me, right? To think before you speak is a much-needed skill and today in this blog, we’ll talk about just that along with tips on how to think before you speak.

Read on because, by the end of this blog, you’ll know all my top tips and tricks on how to think before you speak and not put your foot in your mouth!

How difficult can it be to think before you speak?

Thinking before speaking isn’t rare; it’s almost human nature to feel the need to contribute to a conversation. Sometimes, you may feel emotional about a topic and may not think before you talk about it. Hence, it can be pretty hard to stop yourself from blurting out the first thing that pops into your head. There are a variety of reasons that can prevent you from thinking before speaking. So, don’t beat yourself about it if it happens to you.

That being said, you do need to remember that we as humans are social beings and need to communicate effectively in our everyday lives. Communication is the key to happy and sorted relationships. Hence, it’s important to inculcate the habit of being able to think before you speak with anyone.

Why should you think before you speak?

A colleague once asked me why I should think before speaking? How does it even matter!

Thinking before speaking is pretty much a life skill. Here are some basic reasons for you to think before you speak:

It’s essential for your credibility because if what you communicate isn’t credible or useful, people won’t respect you or your words. Imagine that you are in a group discussion around international relations and you mistakenly mention that the capital of Japan is Beijing in a hurry. If it wasn’t because you didn’t know that Japan’s capital is Tokyo but because you didn’t take the time to process or think before you speak. Such an incident will reduce your credibility but could’ve been easily avoided if you had taken a pause to think.
Another reason for you to think before you speak is that if you do not think before you speak, you might end up hurting someone. Sometimes when we get emotional, it’s easy to get carried away and react to everything negatively. This is pretty common when we are arguing with our loved ones and hence, can impact our relationships severely. Hence, the ability to think before you speak can be fruitful in such scenarios.
Thinking before speaking can also help you stay out of trouble in several ways.Let’s say you’re in a meeting and your boss asks for a volunteer to take over the operations for your company’s newly acquired venture in Yemen. You say yes, just to please your boss without understanding the whole deal and now, you don’t know how to refuse. Had you listened and thought before speaking, you’d save yourself from the trouble of explaining yourself.

I hope you got enough reasons to think before you speak now? Great. Now, let’s move on to our next pertinent question.

It’s essential for your credibility because if what you communicate isn’t credible or useful, people won’t respect you or your words. Imagine that you are in a group discussion around international relations and you mistakenly mention that the capital of Japan is Beijing in a hurry. If it wasn’t because you didn’t know that Japan’s capital is Tokyo but because you didn’t take the time to process or think before you speak. Such an incident will reduce your credibility but could’ve been easily avoided if you had taken a pause to think.
Another reason for you to think before you speak is that if you do not think before you speak, you might end up hurting someone. Sometimes when we get emotional, it’s easy to get carried away and react to everything negatively. This is pretty common when we are arguing with our loved ones and hence, can impact our relationships severely. Hence, the ability to think before you speak can be fruitful in such scenarios.
Thinking before speaking can also help you stay out of trouble in several ways. Let’s say you’re in a meeting and your boss asks for a volunteer to take over the operations for your company’s newly acquired venture in Yemen. You say yes, just to please your boss without understanding the whole deal and now, you don’t know how to refuse. Had you listened and thought before speaking, you’d save yourself from the trouble of explaining yourself.

I hope you got enough reasons to think before you speak now? Great. Now, let’s move on to our next pertinent question.

Why does it happen? Why is it so hard to think before you speak?

The answer to this often has to do with impulse control or to be precise, the lack of it. Impulse control is simply the ability to control an urge to do something or control a reaction to anything. So, it’s possible that you can not think before you speak due to impulse control issues.

I’m sure you’ve asked yourself, “Why can’t I think clearly when talking to people?” or “Why do I always end up saying the wrong things?” Trust me, because I have too. There are many reasons for this but in general, you don’t think before you speak: a lack of patience, the lack of listening skills, or due to impulsiveness.

The Lack of Patience

Talking about the lack of patience, it’s pretty self-explanatory. Our urge to contribute to a conversation or the urge to be an active part of a discussion can sometimes be problematic. The lack of patience in such scenarios can lead to you interrupting others before they’re done and saying something incorrectly. It’s not easy to be patient and take a pause especially while talking about something we’re passionate about and thus, can lead to speaking before thinking.

The Lack of Listening Skills

Listening skills are as important for effective communication, if not more, than speaking skills. It’s nearly impossible to add something of value to a discussion or carry a conversation forward without listening actively. A lack of listening skills can even negatively impact your relationships as you might end up saying something you don’t mean. Hence, listening is essential to think before you speak.

Being Impulsive

Being impulsive is another trait that can be the reason behind your inability to think before you speak. Impulsiveness (or impulsivity) is the tendency to act on a whim, displaying behavior characterized by little or no forethought, reflection, or consideration of the consequences. So, being impulsive can lead to you not thinking before speaking too.

You know enough about why you can’t think before you speak normally now, right?

But should you always think before speaking?

I’d say you should mostly think before you speak, it’ll save you a lot of trouble, the Lord gave us two ears and one mouth, to talk less and listen more. But if you’re just hanging out with friends and not really discussing anything specific, it’s okay to just go with the flow as well. Overthinking everything just like underthinking can be problematic.

So, yes always try to think enough before you speak but don’t venture into the territory of overthinking.

Now that we’ve covered a bunch of questions about why we can’t think before speaking and why we should, let’s get into the ways to achieve it. I’m going to tell you actionable ways on how to think before you speak.

The THINK Acronym

The ultimate think before you speak trick is the word THINK itself, an acronym.

Before speaking anything, just THINK; this is to ask yourself five questions: Is what I’m saying True, is it Helpful, is it Inspiring, is it Necessary, and is it Kind enough?

T For True: Always make sure whatever you are saying is true. Don’t try to make something up or add fuel to gossip just to have something to say. Just be honest and your words will immediately be more impactful.
H For Helpful: Helpful words are usually appreciated by everyone. So, if you have something to say that can be of help to someone, go ahead. But if you think that your words might be hurtful or mocking, then avoid speaking.
I For Inspiring: Saying something that’s encouraging, motivational, or inspiring is always a good idea. It can be anything from giving someone a small compliment on someone’s presentation to inspiring others to achieve their goals with your story.

N For Necessary: Speak when necessary or try not to speak. Often we need to warn people before they do something they shouldn’t or even explain a necessary concept to someone.
K For Kind: If you don’t have something positive and kind today, don’t say it. Humans are emotional beings and need reassurance from time to time. So, try not to be harsh with your words and don’t hurt others. It’s important to speak considerably and kind to everyone.

This is the golden rule on thinking before you speak, once you ask yourself these questions and get yes as the answer. You’re good to go! Because if what you speak passes this method with flying colors, it’s undoubtedly worthy of being said. Also, you can even put up a THINK before you speak poster in your room if you’d like to remember this method.

Wait, that’s not all; we’ve got more tips to assist you.

The Power of Mental Pause

Next up, utilize the power of your mental pause. In the words of a wise man, “Better than a thousand hollow words is one word that brings peace.”

Simply put, take a breather and compose your thoughts before jumping on the speaking train. Hasty words can trouble you for a long time, even after they have left your mouth. So, learn to press the pause button. Imagine it as a pause button that you use to rewind your thoughts, think of the right response, and finally, press play.

We all have a mental pause button that we can learn to use over time. It’s the time we take to respond and it’s absolutely normal. So, make it a habit to utilize your mental pause button to master how to think before you speak.

If you find the silence disturbing, just say, “I need a minute to ponder over this, thank you” before speaking. It’s always better to take some time to think before you speak. The pause helps you respond instead of reacting. You can also say, “I don’t think I know enough on this topic,” instead of forcing yourself to speak without knowledge.

Now on to the third tip, listen and listen carefully. A significant part of effective and thoughtful communication is listening. If you listen to others intently, you’ll be able to converse better and also partake in conversations without saying something awkward.

To give you an example, once at a social gathering, I was talking to a bunch of vegans. One of them probably mentioned that they do not think it’s okay to eat animal products, but I was busy using my phone and misunderstood because I didn’t listen properly and blurted out “Of course, non-vegetarian food is great.” And went on to talk about non-vegetarian food. I didn’t realize right away but it got awkward pretty quickly. So, it’s better to just listen and avoid such a blunder. Make sure you listen with your ears open if you’d like to think before you speak.

How to get into the habit of thinking before I speak?

One way of honing this habit is to have practice conversations with friends or peers about some impromptu topics. This will challenge you to think on the spot and you can then think before you give each response. First, start by taking as much time as you need and measure each response time. After a while, you can start running an actual or mental timer of a few seconds to think of a proper response before the time runs out. This will not only help you practice how to think before you speak but will also help you hone the skill of quick thinking on the spot. Such skills are very helpful in personal and professional situations in which you are required to think on the spot and showcase your intelligence or responsiveness. There are other ways to become a better quick thinker as discussed below.

Becoming A Quick Thinker

The sure-shot way of mastering thinking before speaking is becoming a quick thinker and improving your responses over time. Becoming a quick thinker makes your impression on people around you better and helps you perform well in unpredictable situations when you are required to speak. Many times you might have come across situations in your personal and professional life where you had to think on your feet but you could not come up with a proper response because you spent too much time thinking before you speak. Here are a few tips on how you can tackle such situations better:

1. Note down some responses you would like to give in these situations in the future.

2. Plan some generic positive remarks, comments, or stories you can use when asked to speak up without notice.

3. Think of some questions you can ask to change the conversation topic or deflect the conversation to another person.

These handy tips can help you go a long way in saving time when thinking before speaking and make you come off as intelligent and quick but still thoughtful.

So, I’m sure you understand how important it is to think before we speak. It’s a life skill that can help us grab opportunities and excel professionally and personally. Refer to the above table to get a quick glance at everything we’ve discussed and worked on your mental pause. I hope that I could help you with some useful tips!

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**By Prageet Goel at Orai / Photo at Pexels

Two Wolves

Published on February 25, 2024February 25, 2024 by Editor

Key Quotes

“We have to be careful what we are feeding on in the news, for example. I’ve noticed that a lot of the news today isn’t really news (facts about what’s going on in the world) – it’s merely people expressing their opinion about something – bashing this politician here, criticizing this nation there, guessing at what’s going to happen here. It’s similar to junk food – it ruins the appetite for what’s really healthy, rather than building us up as God’s Word does.”

“I’ve seen that much of what I desire and unconsciously think about today, is the result of what I’ve been recently choosing to ‘sow’ into my mind for the past week, or month, or so. What we choose to feed or withhold from our flesh today has a direct effect on the strength of our flesh tomorrow.”

“Denying the small desires of the flesh everyday that contradict God’s will, and obeying the quiet whisper of the Spirit in every little thing – even ‘This isn’t the right article to read’. It’s much better to obey the whispers of the Spirit today than to try to quiet down our screaming flesh later!”

Full Article

Galatians 6:7 “Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, this he will also reap.”

STORY

I once heard a simple children’s parable about two wolves:

A young boy once felt that he had two wolves inside of him. One wolf was good and the other was evil. Those two wolves were often fighting each other. When the good wolf would win the boy would do good (such as say a kind word, obey his parents, help someone, share his toys, and refrain from saying bad things). But when the bad wolf inside of him would win the boy wouldn’t be able to control himself in the moment, and he would choose to do bad. The boy wanted to do good, but he didn’t know how to help the good wolf win. So he asked his Dad about it, he told him of his struggle of the good and the bad wolves which were inside of him. And he asked his Dad, “How can I help the good wolf win, and the bad wolf to lose?” And his Dad said, “That’s easy; the wolf that will win is the one you feed the most. Feed the good wolf, and he will get stronger. Starve the bad wolf and he will get weaker. Then the good wolf will win.”

I believe the moral of this story is what was written in the Bible 2000 years ago: “For the one who sows to his own flesh will from the flesh reap corruption, but the one who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal life. Let us not lose heart in doing good, for in due time we will reap if we do not grow weary.” ‭‭Galatians‬ ‭6:8-9‬ ‭NASB‬‬ When our flesh (self-will) is eating really well, it comes be very intense with whatever we’ve been feeding it. Physically, if it’s been feeding on a lot of sugar, it will start to crave sweets more and more, and in the same way – if it has been feeding on gossip articles online, for example, I believe it will become very strong in its judgment of others. If it has been constantly feeding on material things – constantly gazing at the latest products, gadgets, and designer clothes – it will desire them more and become more covetous.

THE CURRENT SEASON

The same goes with fear. In this current season, I believe that many (Christians even) can be paralyzed by fear if they are feeding their mind on the multitudes of negative things the unbelieving world is telling them – maybe it’s their friends, co-workers, relatives, or online feeds which preach fear, doom and gloom, instead of God’s Word of His love for us, and His sovereign control of every situation. Proverbs 4:23 says that it’s critical to guard our heart diligently. I understand my “heart” to mean: my inner thoughts, intentions, and desires. I used to think that it wasn’t possible to change what I desire, and what I unconsciously think about all day… that it sort of just, “happens.” But I’ve learned that that’s absolutely not true. I’ve seen that much of what I desire and unconsciously think about today, is the result of what I’ve been recently choosing to ‘sow’ into my mind for the past week, or month, or so. What we choose to feed or withhold from our flesh today has a direct effect on the strength of our flesh tomorrow.

THE NEWS

We have to be careful what we are feeding on in the news, for example. I’ve noticed that a lot of the news today isn’t really news (facts about what’s going on in the world) – its merely people expressing their opinion about something – bashing this politician here, criticising this nation there, guessing at what’s going to happen here. It’s similar to junk food – it ruins the appetite for what’s really healthy, rather than building us up as God’s Word does. It’s not right to say that we should be ‘ignorant’ and refrain from reading the news altogether.

Even Jesus was informed about current events – Luke 13:4. But I’ve seen for myself, I need to be able to know when the Holy Spirit is saying, “This is not the right article to read”, or when He’s saying, “That’s enough.” Col 3:15 “Let the peace of God be your referee” (And listen to His whistle-blows when you’re about to go out of bounds!) I remember being over at someone’s house and a boy was playing video games there. The Dad said to his son who had been playing video games, “Ok son that’s enough for now.” It was a good example to me of “moderation.” Have you ever heard the Lord say “That’s enough”, and stopped doing something? Maybe it was an unprofitable conversation, or spending a long time on the internet… not anything sinful… just the excess of something. If the Lord tells you “that’s enough” would you stop immediately? I see that’s the question I often run into throughout many days in some area or another. The Holy Spirit is not being a ‘killjoy’… (God’s commands are not meant to make me miserable) – it’s for my protection. If I continue past that point, then I enter the realm of sowing to the flesh, and the flesh will get stronger, and I will be feeling the consequences of it later. Maybe in intense fear, or preoccupation with something… or a lack of desire for the Lord and His Word.

“Junk food” may be lawful, but in excess it will always ruin our appetite for what’s healthy. But If we regularly feed on time with the Lord, and His Word, good teaching, books and sermons, etc – we will find our spirit very strong, and our mind being transformed (Romans 12:2). Our mind is constantly being transformed with what we feed it. And the amazing result is “eternal life” as it says: “the one who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal life.” And eternal life, we know is intimate fellowship with our Father, and with Jesus; to know Him (John 17:3).

If we are feeding on the right things, we will grow in knowing the Lord, and we will grow to be strong. Daniel 11:32 “Those who know their God will be strong” (in spirit) May the Lord help us to be wise and sow to the Spirit today, and be careful what we are feeding on. So that our mind and our heart can be transformed to think and see things like He does, and then we will feel like He does about things – free from fear, walking above the storm of panic which the world is caught up in today. And this comes though denying the small desires of the flesh every day that contradict God’s will, and obeying the quiet whisper of the Spirit in every little thing – even ‘This isn’t the right article to read’. It’s much better to obey the whispers of the Spirit today than to try to quiet down our screaming flesh later!‬‬ “Say to the righteous that it will go well with them, for they will eat the fruit of their actions.” Isaiah‬ ‭3:10‬ ‭NASB

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**By Bobby McDonald © Copyright – Bobby McDonald. No changes whatsoever are to be made to the content of the article without written permission from the author at NCCF Church

Our Earthly Life: A Disposable Cup

Published on January 27, 2024January 27, 2024 by Editor

Key Quotes

“There’s something valuable about remembering death, and thinking about it. When we think forward it urges us on to live a worthwhile life now. And when I stand before God, I’ll definitely at that time be thinking about how I wish I had lived. But the wise ones are the ones who consider that question now, and not just consider that question, but they do something about it”

“When I come to die (or the Lord returns first), will I say, “I wish I could have showed the Lord more how much He means to me.”

“One of my goals in this life is to gain the continual habit of gently turning my attention away from distraction and back to the Lord and His presence, throughout every day.”

“Our disposable life can be a cup full of devotion to Christ – devotion means : Christ is EVERYTHING to me. The disposable cup full of Christlikeness to live here and please the Lord not just outwardly, but inwardly from the heart with pure love and intentions flowing out of us. The disposable cup full of humility which lifts the Father and Jesus up, and is happy to go down and decrease because He is increasing. The disposable cup full of trust and faith which bows before God’s wisdom and love, in the midst of great pain and years of suffering – contently committing ourself to the Lord’s hand through it all to do as He will”

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One of the most challenging things Paul said was in Acts 20:24 “I consider my life worth nothing to me…” (NIV). I read mainly the NASB translation of the Bible today, but I learned this verse in the NIV and as a teenager I was so challenged by what Paul said there. What a challenge Paul gave us in his example.

We can tell a lot about ourself by what pops up in our phone apps and on our computers, in our web browsers – Recommended videos, and ads, etc. Companies spend billions to track our behavior and recommend us content they think we will consume. So in a sense I suppose at least some of what comes back to me is a reflection of myself – and my interests.

But I was surprised the other day that Youtube recommended me a really random video, I have no idea why. The video was a live stream of a memorial of a random lady who had recently passed away a day or two earlier. This was not a famous lady – it was an older woman who lived in the U.S. somewhere, and the funeral home where her service was had a Youtube channel which livestreamed the services. And for reasons unknown to me, it popped up in my recommended videos.

At first I was confused and ignored it, but then I was reminded of Ecclesiastes 7:2 : “It is better to go to a house of mourning Than to go to a house of feasting, Because that is the end of every man, And the living takes it to heart.” So I clicked on it and started watching.

There’s something valuable about remembering death, and thinking about it. When we think forward it urges us on to live a worthwhile life now. And when I stand before God, I’ll definitely at that time be thinking about how I wish I had lived. But the wise ones are the ones who consider that question now, and not just consider that question, but they do something about it (see the parable of the wise and foolish virgins in Matthew 25).

So I clicked on that live stream (which had been going on for a little while already – so I scanned through it), and I watched family members talk of this womans life – the challenges she went through, losing a husband who died somehow when the kids were young. Trying to raise her daughters in the right way, and be there as a support to her grandkids in the midst of everything.

But the thing that touched me most is what her granddaughter said. She said weeping, “I wish I could have told you more how much you mean to me.” And I thought of people that have passed away in my life, and how we definitely often have that thought: “If only I had one more day…”

But then I realized something even more important on the exact same lines, but not toward loved ones. Toward God: we have JUST this one life to show God how much He means to us.

And here’s the question: When I come to die (or the Lord returns first), will I say, “I wish I could have showed the Lord more how much He means to me.”

And it flips my perspective on everything when I think like that. How much more I wish I would have strove against sin harder in my inner life, to spend plain and simple time with Him – not with masterful professional prayers but just 2 friends alone with each other – Jesus and I. To love Jesus by loving others and showing them mercy and encouragement, to be content in all trials and suffering for His sake, to praise Him in them. To labor WITH God for salvation of others by praying for them and never giving up, to seek His presence always, and treasure Him above all. To despise the things of earth, and to consider everything of earth rubbish for His sake – to know Him and to please Him.

What a chance we have now. But we only have it now. 2 Cor 6:2 “… Behold, now is “THE ACCEPTABLE TIME,” behold, now is “THE DAY OF SALVATION”

I’ve heard it said, “A man is what the thinks about all day.” One of my goals in this life is to gain the continual habit of gently turning my attention away from distraction and back to the Lord and His presence, throughout every day. Not to fix my gaze on ‘other cares’. It’s not easy. I don’t think many Christians ever attain that type of closeness with the Lord. But the Lord put in my heart the desire for that life, and I believe that this is the way to keep doing everything for the love and glory of God (1 Cor 10:31) – to carry my cross with Jesus in my sights (Heb 12:2) and in my heart. Otherwise it’s like a wife who cooks and cleans the home, and doesn’t leave – but has no desire for her husband, no intention to love and be with him. It can be lifeless. I have to keep the Father and Jesus in my heart in the midst of all of this. I need the right life WITH the right motive.

The Lord gave me a picture one time: I like to drink coffee in disposable cups. I enjoy the coffee. But the cup is basically value-less except for what it holds for a temporary time. I throw it out after. And I saw – that is EXACTLY what our life is: Disposable. That’s what Paul said “my life is worth nothing to me.. if only I may finish my course” (Acts 20:24). The only value this life holds is what it can contain of Jesus in this passing moment that we are here. It’s disposable. It’s a disposable life – but can be full of treasure while it is here for a little time, before it’s thrown out.

Our disposable life can be a cup full of devotion to Christ – devotion means : Christ is EVERYTHING to me. That devotion is the valuable thing this disposable life can hold for a time.
The disposable cup full of Christlikeness to live here and please the Lord not just outwardly, but inwardly from the heart with pure love and intentions flowing out of us
The disposable cup full of humility which lifts the Father and Jesus up, and is happy to go down and decrease because He is increasing
The disposable cup full of trust and faith which bows before God’s wisdom and love, in the midst of great pain and years of suffering – contently committing ourself to the Lord’s hand through it all to do as He will

This is the eternal value which our disposable cup can hold for some time until we take it into eternity.

James 4:14 “…You are just a vapor that appears for a little while and then vanishes away.”

And it is spiritually very helpful – thinking about the future and our end (even in the form of watching Youtube memorials of strangers!) – to meditate on: what will matter 1000 years from now? Or even 100 years from now? This helped me early on in my Christian life. And I’m working to try to teach my kids about this today.

Here’s a poem which also challenged me when I was younger and I heard it – to live more seriously for God now, and to fix my mind on things above (Colossians 3:2):

100 YEARS FROM NOW
It will not make much difference, friend,
A hundred years from now,
If you live in a stately mansion
Or on a floating river scow;
If the clothes you wear are tailor-made
Or pieced together somehow,
If you eat big steaks or beans and cake
A hundred years from now.

It won’t matter about your bank account
Or the make of car you drive,
For the grave will claim your riches and fame
And the things for which you strive.
There’s a deadline we all must meet
And no one will turn up late,
It won’t matter then all the places you’ve been,
Each one will keep that date.

We will only have in eternity
What we gave away on earth,
When we go to the grave we can only save
The things of eternal worth,
What matters, friend, the earthly gain
For which some men always bow?
For your destiny will be sealed, you see
A hundred years from now.

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**By Bobby McDonald © Copyright – Bobby McDonald. No changes whatsoever are to be made to the content of the article without written permission from the author. https://nccf.com/

3 Reasons People Come Into Our Lives

Published on November 23, 2023November 23, 2023 by Editor

People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. When you figure out which one it is, you will know what to do for each person.

When someone is in your life for a REASON . . . It is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally, or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend, and they are! They are there for the reason you need them to be.

Then, without any wrong doing on your part, or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.

What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered. And now it is time to move on.

When people come into your life for a SEASON . . . Because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn. They bring you an experience of peace, or make you laugh.

They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it! It is real! But, only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons; things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person, and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life.

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Author Unknown / Photo by Pexels

Out Of the Mouth of Babes

Published on January 22, 2023January 24, 2023 by Editor

One day a very wealthy father took his son on a trip to the country for the sole purpose of showing his son how it was to be poor. They spent a few days and nights on the farm of what would be considered a very poor family.

After their return from the trip, the father asked his son how he liked the trip. “It was great, Dad,” the son replied. “Did you see how poor people can be?” the father asked. “Oh Yeah,” said the son.

“So what did you learn from the trip?” asked the father. The son answered, “I saw that we have one dog and they had four. We have a pool that reaches to the middle of our garden and they have a creek that has no end. We have imported lanterns in our garden and they have the stars at night. Our patio reaches to the front yard and they have the whole horizon.

“We have a small piece of land to live on and they have fields that go beyond our sight. We have servants who serve us, but they serve others.”

“We buy our food, but they grow theirs. We have walls around our property to protect us, they have friends to protect them.” The boy’s father was speechless. Then his son added, “It showed me just how poor we really are.”

Too many times we forget what we have and concentrate on what we don’t have. What is one person’s worthless object is another’s prize possession. It is all based on one’s perspective.

Sometimes it takes the perspective of a child to remind us of what’s important.

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*** Story shared By Dan Asmussen on Facebook

Transformed From Glory to Glory

Published on December 31, 2022November 25, 2023 by Editor

(Please look up all the Scripture references)

A New Year prayer: “Teach us Lord, to number our days, so that we can present to Thee a heart full of wisdom” (Psalms 90:12)

Spiritual growth and transformation into Christlikeness do not happen overnight. It happens slowly – day by day and little by little. As we sing in the chorus: “Little by little and day by day; little by little in every way, my Jesus is changing me; I am not the same as I was last year; and though the picture is not quite clear, I know He is changing me; Although it’s slow going, this I am knowing – that one day like Him I shall be”. So, let us yield ourselves to the Lord every day this year, so that He can do that work of transformation in us.

Transformed by the Holy Spirit and God’s Word

When the Holy Spirit is allowed to be Lord in our lives, He will liberate us first of all (2 Corinthians 3:17) – freeing us from the power of sin, from the love of money, from the traditions of men that are contrary to the Word of God, and from being enslaved to the opinions of people. The Holy Spirit will then show us the glory of Jesus in the Scriptures and seek to transform us slowly into that likeness, by changing our way of thinking so that we begin to think the way Jesus thought (2 Corinthians 3:18; Romans 12:2). The Holy Spirit wants to do that work in us this year. So, submit to Him.

Transformed by Praise and Thanksgiving

“Be filled with the Spirit, speaking to one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs (Ephesians 5:18-20). The Holy Spirit wants to give us a spirit of thankfulness that frees us from all gossip, slander, bitterness, and anger. In the seven glimpses of heaven that we see in the book of Revelation, we find that the inhabitants of heaven are constantly praising God. The atmosphere of heaven is one of constant praise, without any complaining or grumbling. The Holy Spirit wants to bring this atmosphere into our hearts and into our homes this year. So, submit to Him.

Transformed by the Grace of God

“The grace of God enables us to deny ungodliness and worldly desires and to live in a righteous, godly way in this evil world” Titus 2:11-12. God wants to transform our thought-life through His grace and make our speech so gracious that it blesses everyone we meet this year (Colossians 4:6). God’s grace also wants to transform the way husbands and wives behave towards each other this year (1 Peter 3:7). And in every trial that we face this year, God can give us grace that is sufficient to meet the need (2 Corinthians 12:9). So, humble yourself in every situation this year – for God gives His grace only to the humble (1 Peter 5:5).

Transformed by Obedience

We are told that Jesus “learned obedience through the things He suffered” (Hebrews 5:8). Anything that His Father said “No” to, Jesus also said, “No” to. That involved the suffering of denying His own will always. After years of such self-denial, “Jesus was made perfect” (Hebrews 5:9). “Perfect” here means “complete”. In other words, Jesus graduated from the school of obedience and got His degree. This is the degree the Holy Spirit wants us to get too. So, He will take us through many tests. If we fail in any test, He will give us a chance to do it again! He wants us to get the same “degree” that Jesus got and to make us overcomers (Revelation 3:21)! This is the most important degree that we can ever get. So, this year, let us say “No” to our own will and “Yes” to God’s will in every situation, by the power of the Holy Spirit.

Transformed by Encouragement from God

“God wants to encourage us in all our trials, so that we can encourage others with the same encouragement that He gives us in our trials” (2 Corinthians 1:3-4). We are surrounded by people who are facing many trials and problems. If we want to help them to overcome, we have to go through many trials and problems ourselves first and overcome. The strength and encouragement that God gives us to overcome in our trials will then be what we can offer to others. God wants to make us a blessing to every person and every family that we meet this year (See Galatians 3:8-9, 14). He wants us to encourage someone or the other every day of this year (Read Hebrews 3:13). May it be so.

May you have a very blessed new year.

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**By Zac Poonen © Copyright – Zac Poonen. No changes whatsoever are to be made to the content of the article without written permission from the author. https://www.cfcindia.com/

What Is God’s Love Language?

Published on November 20, 2022November 25, 2023 by Editor

If you are a man or a woman and claim to be a believer and part of the church, you are Jesus’s wife. You are His Bride and He is the bridegroom, and if we are His Bride, we need to ask ourselves the question, “what type of wife am I?” Am I asking God to send me a spouse, when I’m not even a good wife to Him. If you are saved, do you recognize you are part of the Bride of Christ? And instead of getting people to try and understand your love language, how about you trying to understand God’s love language.

Do you know what God’s love language is?

A) Quality time
B) Words of affirmation
C) Gifts
D) Acts of service
E) Physical touch
F) All of the above

Answer: F, all of the above.

First of all, Jesus loves quality time. He loves when you spend time with Him in prayer. He loves when you dedicate the morning and just bask in His presence, and seek His face and dwell in His Word. He loves quality time when you dedicate the evening or when you set apart a time in your life where you’re fasting to get closer to God. You want to hear His voice and want to know His sound, and want to be in His presence. God loves quality time.

The Lord loves words of affirmation, not because He needs to be affirmed, but He knows that when you affirm Him, it affirms you! Can I mess with you a second? You don’t read the Bible for God, you don’t read the Bible for God, you don’t pray for God, you’re not watching this message for God, you don’t listen to sermons for God, you don’t worship for God, all that’s for you. You praying is not going to make God any more faithful.

It’s not going to make Him any more Holy, it’s not going to make Him any more righteous. You worshipping is going to help your mind from worrying, because you can not worry and worship at the same time, and a lot of us has got it muddled. We think we’re doing God a service, because we attend church, because we are giving, because we are praying, because we are fasting, and God’s like… don’t you understand I’m already Holy? I can’t get any holier than I already am. I am in a lane all by Myself, there’s no league, I have no competition. The devil’s not even my adversary, I have no competitors, no adversities! You are doing this for you, you’re doing this for your words of affirmation, it affirms you.

He loves when you use your gifts, why? Because He gave them to you. He loves when you worship, because you are using that gift. He loves when you exercise your gift of artistry, your gift of speaking, that gift of business skills, He loves when you do that, because it shows Him off.

The Lord loves acts of service, when you are serving your community, when you’re serving your wife, when you’re serving in the Church. He loves service because you are His hands and feet, so it makes Him look good when you do this!

And God loves physical touch, you know how you touch the heart of God. Anytime you choose His will over your will, that touches His heart. Anytime you say, “God I don’t want to do this, but I trust you and you’re my husband and I’m going to follow you, and I’m going to submit to you, it gives God glory.

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**Adaptation from Jerry Flower’s sermon called “Wifey Material” Link: https://youtu.be/swKKTPIV8zA

Trust The Provider, Not The Provision

Published on September 6, 2022November 25, 2023 by Editor

Key Quotes

“If we aren’t careful, we can be set up for failure and disappointment if we take our eyes off of our Provider and fix them on His particular means of provision”

“Sometimes God has to remove one thing so that we can be open to what He has next for us.”

“Sometimes God wants to use us first to comfort those in need, even when we ourselves are in need”

Full Article

The word of the LORD came to him, saying, “Go away from here and turn eastward, and hide yourself by the brook Cherith, which is east of the Jordan. It shall be that you will drink of the brook, and I have commanded the ravens to provide for you there.” So he went and did according to the word of the LORD, for he went and lived by the brook Cherith, which is east of the Jordan. The ravens brought him bread and meat in the morning and bread and meat in the evening, and he would drink from the brook. It happened after a while that the brook dried up, because there was no rain in the land. (1 Kings‬ ‭17‬:‭2-7‬ NASB)

God clearly told Elijah to go to the brook, and Elijah obeyed. God miraculously provided for his servant there. And yet the brook dried up. Does that mean that Elijah did something wrong? No! I think it’s meant to teach us an important lesson: that God will always meet our needs, and He intends to use certain means for only certain times.

It is so easy to fall in love with the particular way that God is providing for us — a job we love, a friendship that is fulfilling, a routine that we really enjoy — but if we aren’t careful, we can be set up for failure and disappointment if we take our eyes off of our Provider and fix them on His particular means of provision. In all of our interactions with God, and especially in receiving good gifts for our needs from His hand, we should always seek to make sure that we are trusting God as our provider, and not starting to depend on the specific way He has chosen to provide.

I had a recent experience which helped me see this firsthand. There was a circumstance at work that made me feel that my job was in jeopardy. I was tempted to be anxious because the specific way God had been providing for me and family (ie, my job!) felt threatened. But God brought this story to my mind, and through it, He brought me to a place where I could confidently and restfully say, “(this person) would have no authority over me except what is given by God,” so I do not need to fear what they can do to my job, or the impact that could have on my life.

God did not choose to “dry up the stream” in my case, after all, but I felt it was an important test to ask me what I’m focused on: my Provider, or His provision.

*We can absolutely count on God to provide for the need though, even if the particular way He’s provided is removed.* Seeing God’s faithfulness to Elijah helped give me rest in the midst of my own trial.

The story continues:

Then the word of the LORD came to him, saying, “Arise, go to Zarephath, which belongs to Sidon, and stay there; behold, I have commanded a widow there to provide for you.” (‭1 Kings‬ ‭17‬:‭8-9‬ NASB)

It’s amazing to realize that God had already arranged to provide for Elijah, before He even allowed the brook to dry up. What I see here is that sometimes God has to remove one thing so that we can be open to what He has next for us.

And I’ve seen this is my own life too. One simple example is that last year we had some dear friends move away and have to leave our church. I was disappointed at first, as I really felt they were folks God had provided for fellowship and had thus spent a lot of time with them. But now I can see that God had other plans for my life and how I spend my time, and I probably wouldn’t have been as open to new members or to new opportunities to serve if God hadn’t removed the thing He had originally provided. He needed to get rid of the “brook” in order to introduce me to the “widows” He’s currently using to meet my needs.

Praise God for knowing our needs even more intimately than we do, and for supernaturally providing for us in ways we would have never even dreamed of!

The last thing I see in this story of Elijah is there’s an interesting “plot twist!”:

So he arose and went to Zarephath, and when he came to the gate of the city, behold, a widow was there gathering sticks; and he called to her and said, “Please get me a little water in a jar, that I may drink.” As she was going to get it, he called to her and said, “Please bring me a piece of bread in your hand.” But she said, “As the LORD your God lives, I have no bread, only a handful of flour in the bowl and a little oil in the jar; and behold, I am gathering a few sticks that I may go in and prepare for me and my son, that we may eat it and die.” (‭1 Kings‬ ‭17‬:‭10-12‬ NASB)

Elijah obeys God and goes where He leads, only to find that the widow isn’t able to meet his need after all. This brought a question to my mind: What do we do if it looks like the “provision” God has led us to is really a dead end? Like there’s no water in the “new brook” after all?

Then Elijah said to her, “Do not fear; go, do as you have said, but make me a little bread cake from it first and bring it out to me, and afterward you may make one for yourself and for your son. For thus says the LORD God of Israel, ‘The bowl of flour shall not be exhausted, nor shall the jar of oil be empty, until the day that the LORD sends rain on the face of the earth.'” So she went and did according to the word of Elijah, and she and he and her household ate for many days. The bowl of flour was not exhausted nor did the jar of oil become empty, according to the word of the LORD which He spoke through Elijah. (‭1 Kings‬ ‭17‬:‭13-16‬ NASB)

What I see from Elijah’s response is that sometimes God wants to use us first to comfort those in need, even when we ourselves are in need. Elijah had such complete trust in God his ultimate Provider that he was undeterred by the fact that she didn’t have any bread! And instead of being disturbed that this woman whom God had sent him to was empty handed, he was perfectly at peace, and could minister to her from the rest he had found in His true Provider: God. So he immediately comforts her with the comfort that he’s been given — that if God has a plan to feed him through her, then He certainly has a plan to feed her too — with no concern whatsoever, being convinced that what God has promised He is also able to perform.

What a blessed ministry of encouragement can flow through the one who has surrendered completely to trust in his/ her Heavenly Provider.

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**By Jeremy Utley © Copyright – Jeremy Utley. No changes whatsoever are to be made to the content of the article without written permission from the author at NCCF Church

Loving Your Husband When Your Own Love Tank is Low

Published on August 10, 2022November 1, 2023 by Editor

I just wasn’t feeling the love. If everyone has a love tank, mine was low. And it was making me cranky. I have read about loving your husband, but love was the last thing I was feeling.

It wasn’t my husband’s fault really. Due to military life, I hadn’t seen him in a month and didn’t get to talk to him as much as when he’s home. I wasn’t getting my quality time. Or my words of affirmation. Or my acts of service. Or physical touch. Or gifts. None of the five love languages and I was feeling it.

The lies began in my mind. “He doesn’t really want to come home.” “He would be texting you more if he really missed you.” “He would have sent you flowers if he really cared.”

I knew I was only feeling this way because my love tank was low. And I knew it wasn’t my husband’s fault at all. I knew deep down he wanted to come home to me just as much as I wanted him to get home. But that didn’t stop me from feeling grumpy. If he took too long to text back, I wanted to lash out. I wanted to say, “Forget it. You don’t really care!”

Thankfully, I’ve read some great books on marriage and I’ve heard some great sermons on being a godly wife. The things I have learned over the years came back to me. I remembered how in one book it told me that I have to give love to my husband even when he doesn’t deserve it. Even when I’m not feeling love, I have to give love.

If I lashed out, it would cause him to lash out, which would cause me to lash out. We would both be hurt and therefore angry at one another. A vicious cycle would ensue and round and round we’d go into a big ugly fight. A fight that would really only be caused by circumstances we can’t change and lies being thrown by Satan.

So this time, instead of throwing angry words and causing a fight, I wrote Travis a big long text telling him how much I loved him and how much I couldn’t wait for him to get home. I went to the grocery store and I bought him a bunch of his favorite foods to have when he got home. I made the choice to love him even though I wasn’t feeling much love.

“Set a guard, O Lord, over my mouth; keep watch over the door of my lips.” — Psalm 141:3
“And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus…” — Colossians 2:20

I realized I can’t show Travis love only in hopes of getting love back. These books and sermons have taught me that love isn’t selfish. It’s the exact opposite. Love is selfless. Love is showing someone you care without expecting anything in return.

“When an action doesn’t come naturally to you, it is a greater expression of love. Ultimately, comfort is not the issue. We are talking about love, and love is something you do for someone else, not something you do for yourself. Love is a choice.” — Gary Chapman (The 5 Love Languages)

By loving my husband this way, I am loving Christ.

Our husbands are merely vessels to Christ. We love Christ by loving our husbands. We serve Christ by serving our husbands. Even when our husbands deserve the exact opposite of love, we should love them because that is what Christ has called us to do. It’s an act of obedience.

“With eyes of faith, envision Jesus standing just beyond the shoulder of your spouse and listening to every word you speak in every conversation, pleasant or tense. When you speak lovingly or respectfully to your spouse, you are speaking to Christ. Your spouse just happens to be there too.” — Dr. Emerson Eggerichs (Love and Respect)

The great thing about love is it can become a cycle as well. When we pour all our love into our husbands, it changes them. It makes them want to love back.

If we love on our husbands, it would cause our husbands to want to show us love, which would cause us to love him better. We would both feel loved and therefore happy with one another. A virtuous cycle would ensue and round and round we’d go into a healthy marriage!

I know this is something I’m still learning. It’s something I will always have to be striving for, always asking God to help me love my husband the same way Christ loves me — even when my own love tank is low. Because when we speak lovingly to our spouses, no matter how they have spoken to or treated us, we are speaking lovingly to our God who so desperately deserves it.

How have you struggled with loving your husband? In what ways, have you loved him even when you weren’t feeling love in return?

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***Article and Photo By Tiffany at Seeingsunshine.com

What Taking God’s Name In Vain REALLY Means

Published on July 12, 2022December 11, 2023 by Editor

What does it mean to take the Lord’s name in vain? Is taking God’s name in vain a sin?

You have probably heard that taking God’s name in vain is a sin. And if you grew up in Christian circles that meant saying Oh my goodness rather than Oh my god and not using God’s name as a curse word when you stubbed your toe.

The problem is we’ve oversimplified the 3rd commandment and have missed the real meaning of not taking God’s name in vain.

So, what does it mean to take the Lord’s name in vain? Let’s start with what the Bible says.

Bible Verse Taking The Lord’s Name In Vain

You shall not take the name of the Lord your God in vain, for the Lord will not hold him guiltless who takes his name in vain. Exodus 20:7

When we approach something familiar to us, we tend to just read it quickly and move on. But in order to understand what it means to take God’s name in vain, we have to slow down and read it again.

Let’s break down what this passage is saying so that we can understand what taking the Lord’s name in vain really means.

Representing God

The first question we should be asking of this verse is what does it mean to take the name of the Lord?

Another way you could translate this phrase from the original language is, “You shall not take up the name of God [in vain]” or, “You shall not bear the name of God [in vain].” What this verse is saying is that God’s people are His image-bearers.

Another way of thinking about it is that Christians are representatives of God. Your actions tell those around us something about God.

Think about it this way: when you go into a store and encounter an employee that is rude, you’ll be less likely to shop there in the future. Of course, the reverse is true too: if you encounter an excellent employee at a store, you will be more likely to shop there again. They represent the company they work for, and what they do and say tells you something about the company.

The same is true for all who follow God. We bear His image (2 Corinthians 5:20). What we do, how we treat others, and what we say tells someone something about Him. Good or bad. The challenge of this verse is to represent God well.

Think for a minute; what are you telling those around you?

In Vain Meaning

The next question we should be asking about this verse is what does in vain mean?

The Hebrew word we translate as “vain” carries a meaning of empty, hollow, nothing, worthless, or to no good purpose. This doesn’t mean that we should avoid saying God’s name, as some do. Rather, that we should be careful how we use His name.

We tend to downplay the importance of names in our culture, but that wasn’t always the case. In ancient culture, your name meant something. It had value; it told others who you were. And the same is true with the name of God. His name has meaning and power. It’s holy. Therefore, we shouldn’t use it as if it’s empty, hollow, worthless, or in vain.

That’s what this commandment is getting at. We are forbidden from taking the name of God (representing Him) in a manner that is wicked, worthless, or for our own gain.

Let me translate the idea of this verse this way: we are God’s ambassadors, and therefore we should represent Him well to those around us. Taking the Lord’s name in vain happens when we misrepresent him to those around us.

Examples Of Misusing God’s Name

Most people think the meaning of this verse implies not saying oh my god or using God’s name a cuss word. But that’s an oversimplification and missing the real meaning of taking the Lord’s name in vain.

I’m not saying we should start using God’s name as a curse word. Remember, His name is holy and has power. Rather, I think the real warning for us is about misusing God’s name, which goes far beyond saying OMG.

What does it mean to take the Lord’s name in vain? Let’s look at examples of taking God’s name in vain.

Using God’s Name For Your Own Gain

One way people take God’s name in vain is by using His name for their own benefit. An extreme example is a TV evangelist who promises God’s blessing if you just give them your money. But it’s not limited to preachers. We take the Lord’s name in vain when we take advantage of others for our own gain.

Think about if the roles were reversed. Let’s say someone defrauded dozens of people in your name. You probably wouldn’t take too kindly to that kind of abuse of your name.

That’s why the Bible says over and over again not to take God’s name in vain. It’s not something we should gloss over. Whether it be using God’s name to get rich, to get power, or to gain control over someone, we ought to think twice.

What does it mean to take the Lord’s name in vain? We tend to point our fingers at others doing this, but we should also examine ourselves. I’ve seen many manipulate a friend, family member, or co-worker in God’s name for their own gain. That’s taking God’s name in vain.

Using God’s Name To Justify Your Actions

Some use God’s name as a justification for what they want to do. Marriages have ended, business decisions have been made, and life choices set all in God’s name. Many throw God’s name out as a trump card of sorts as to why their actions are right.

Time and time again I have heard the phrase “God wants me to be happy” used to justify a sin they were unwilling to stop. Let me make one thing clear. If what God is “telling you” doesn’t line up with what is found in the Bible, it’s not God speaking, it’s you justifying.

What does it mean to take the Lord’s name in vain? We take the Lord’s name in vain when we use it to justify our actions for selfish reasons. Essentially we are attempting to justify sin so that we can still sleep at night and not feel guilty.

Ironically that thing we are trying to hide from and justify is the thing God wants from us so that He can heal us. But instead, we hide and attempt to justify our actions with God’s name. That’s an example of taking God’s name in vain.

Cursing The Name Of God

Taking God’s name in vain is more than just not saying “OMG” or using it as a curse word. And I don’t even think that’s the primary message that God is trying to communicate about not taking His name in vain. He’s much more concerned with what we do IN His name and not WITH His name. However, that doesn’t mean we should just use it however we please.

We should still approach God with honor and respect. And I don’t think it’s the most honoring thing to use God’s name as a curse word. Is the worst possible sin you can commit to say GD or OMG? Probably not. But still, I think it’s a good idea to show a little respect and reverence for the holy name of God.

What does it mean to take the Lord’s name in vain? It means we show reverence and respect for our creator. When we abuse his name in any way that’s taking God’s name in vain.

What does it mean to take the lord’s name in vain? It’s more than just the words we say. Taking God’s name in vain is more than just not saying “OMG” or using it as a curse word.

Again, I’m not advocating that we should start using God’s name as a curse word. I think that’s part of taking God’s name in vain, just not the sum total of this commandment. If you are a Christian, what you do and say represents Him. We should each take a moment to evaluate our lives and ask ourselves if we are representing God well.

Swearing and taking God’s name in vain are often tied closely together. If you are interested in learning what the Bible says about swearing, check out: Is Swearing A Sin? (what the Bible really says)

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*** By Jeffrey Curtis Poor at Rethinknow.org

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