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10 Ways We Grieve The Holy Spirit

Published on July 3, 2024 by Editor

In Ephesians 4:30-32, we are shown three things that grieve the Holy Spirit.

The word grieve in this text means to throw somebody into sorrow and to affect somebody with sadness. That tells us that the Holy Spirit is not a ghost, force, power, wind, oil, or a dove without a personality. He is a Person who lives within us, and we, as Christians, have the ability to have a relationship with Him. We also have the ability to cause Him deep heartbreak.

10 Things To Watch Out For

1. Toxic Emotions

We grieve the Holy Spirit when we hold on to toxic emotions. Bitterness, wrath, and clamor all describe toxic emotions. The closer we get to the Lord, the more we’ll become aware of these emotions and let them go.

2. Grudges

The reason many of us love to hold onto a grudge is that it takes time and energy to build, and we are unsure of who we are without it. People believe that harboring resentment stops them from getting hurt again. These things all make sense to our hurting minds, but the Bible warns against such choices. You cannot host the Holy Ghost and harbour a grudge.

You can have the Holy Spirit and harbor a grudge, but you cannot host Him. When you host somebody in your home, they get your attention and respect.

We cannot host the Holy Ghost properly if we harbor things in our hearts.

3. Offense

Offense is like an automatic weapon – once you pull the trigger, it keeps firing. It is always tied to pride and control. Your offense might give you an excellent, logical reason why you should feel or act that way, but as you yield to it, the sweet grace of the Holy Spirit is withdrawing.

Jesus said we will be offended in this world (Luke 17:1). We will get offended and hurt. But what hurts the Holy Spirit’s feelings is when we hold onto our hurt feelings and develop theories, gossip, switch churches, and become people who hold on to toxic emotions. When we allow these toxic emotions in our hearts, they become deep-seated bitterness.

4. Bitterness

Bitterness is different from offense:

• Betrayal is what people do to you; bitterness is what you do to yourself.

• Bitterness is internal, and betrayal is external.

• Anybody can be betrayed, but bitterness is optional.

When you are not a believer in Christ, it is so easy to fall into that choice. A Spirit-filled believer needs to understand that it breaks the Holy Spirit’s heart when we hold on to bitterness.

5. Unforgiveness

When you release forgiveness to someone who wronged you, you are not setting them free; you are setting your future free. When you stay in that state of bitterness and unforgiveness, the person hurt is actually you. Holding unforgiveness is like drinking rat poison and hoping a rat dies from it.

We all encounter these feelings but when we permit them to stay and grow, they push away intimacy with the Holy Spirit. You may still read the Bible and go to church but if you are holding onto the past, the Holy Spirit cannot be released to flow freely in your life. I encourage you today to let go and let God. The Holy Spirit wants to inhabit you so powerfully, but He cannot inhabit a vessel that is filled with toxic emotions. You need to keep your heart pure for the Holy Spirit.

6. Evil Speaking

The Holy Spirit is grieved when our speech is morally rotten (Ephesians 4:29). What is the first thing the Holy Spirit does when He fills us – we speak in other tongues. If your tongue is not cleansed, the Holy Spirit is grieved. When Isaiah came into the presence of God, the first thing he noticed was that his tongue was unclean.

7. Cursing

The Bible says when Peter denied Jesus, he cursed and swore. That was the state of somebody who denied Jesus. Anybody who allows cursing to come out of their mouths already has something broken in their relationship with God. No Christian should be guilty of such unbecoming talk. Abort those thoughts quickly in your head and don’t give birth to them by speaking them out of your mouth.

8. Lying And Exaggerating

Lying is deceit. Deceit often requires sufficient truth to make something seem realistic, valid, or appear true, while in reality, it is not. Partial truth is not truth but a little lie. Exaggeration is not a mistake; it is a lie. When you exaggerate or present a half-truth, you align yourself with the father of lies. Remember, the Holy Spirit’s name is the Spirit of Truth. He honors and loves the truth.

9. Harsh Speech

Christians should speak with a sense of the grace of God in our words (Colossians 4:6). “The way it is” often hurts – we should give more grace than that. Even if we are correcting or reproving somebody, we cannot do it raw; it must be correctly seasoned with grace. The person might have messed up but they are not a mess. That is grace.

10. Rudeness To People

We grieve the Holy Spirit when we are rude to people (Ephesians 4:32).

The Scriptures say Jesus did not break a bruised reed. That is talking about people, not plants. You encounter people who are ‘bruised’ as the Scripture describes them. They vent on you. They act out of their brokenness and can be harsh to you unfairly. Instead of replying harshly and breaking them down, you can come with understanding that they are hurting. For the Holy Spirit to remain upon us, there has to be a pursuit of kindness, humility, goodness and forgiveness.

The Holy Spirit is deeply affected by how we treat people. He loves people so much. When He sees injustice or that somebody becomes harsh and loses tenderness in their heart, He is grieved.

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*** By Vladimir Savchuk © Copyright – Vladimir Savchuk. No changes whatsoever are to be made to the content of the article without written permission from the author at HungryGen / Photo Pixabay

The Tale of the Little Boy and the Sailboat

Published on June 11, 2024February 10, 2025 by Editor

I want to share with you a story about a young boy who lovingly crafted a small sailboat. He adorned it with fine gems and precious metals, polished it until it gleamed, and marked it with his signature, ensuring everyone knew it was his creation. When he took it to the river to test it, the boat sailed beautifully. However, a strong wind arose, sweeping the boat away, and the boy was heartbroken by the loss of his cherished creation.

Sometime later, while walking through town, the boy was astonished to see his boat in the window of a shop. Though some gems were missing and it was battered, his signature confirmed it was his boat. He rushed inside and told the shop owner, “That little boat is mine; I made it.” The owner replied, “I’m sorry, but I bought it from someone else. If you want it back, you’ll have to pay for it.” Determined, the boy worked tirelessly for weeks, saving every penny. Finally, he returned to the shop, slammed the money on the counter, and bought his boat back. Holding it aloft, he exclaimed, “Little boat, you are twice mine. I made you—and I bought you back!”

The Deeper Meaning

You might wonder how this story relates to us. In many ways, we are like that little boat. Each of us is uniquely created by God, reflecting His image and cherished deeply by Him. However, life’s storms and the lure of the world have swept us away from our Creator, leaving us battered and lost. The challenges of life and the wrong things we do separate us from God. The temptations of the world and our own pride hurt us, and the enemy, Satan—the fallen angel, who hates mankind—tries to keep us down.

The boy in the story represents Jesus, who came to save us. Despite our broken state, affected by sin and life’s hardships, Jesus recognized us as His own. Just as the boy worked hard to buy back his boat, Jesus paid the ultimate price for our redemption. He bought us back with His precious blood, shed on the cross. He did this to restore our relationship with God the Father, as God is holy and cannot abide in sin. We are twice His—created by Him and bought back with His blood.

Understanding Our Condition

All of us have done wrong and fallen short of God’s standards. Sin is not just about major wrongdoings but also includes knowing what is right and failing to do it. It encompasses acts like lying, stealing, unforgiveness, hatred, jealousy, anger, sexual immorality, idolatry, addictions, pornography, drugs, and wanting to live separately from God. These wrongdoings separate us from a holy and righteous God.

God judges the heart, including our thoughts, words, deeds, and motives. While people can pretend to have a holy exterior and act pious, God sees through our facades and knows our true nature. It’s not about religion, where you have to do things to be accepted by God. It’s about a relationship with God who is near and accessible. Our good works cannot save us; they are like filthy rags in comparison to God’s purity, you cannot buy salvation. The Bible states that the wages of sin is death—eternal separation from God in hell, a fate none of us would wish upon anyone.

The Sacrifice of Jesus

Jesus Christ paid the price for our sins on the cross so we can be restored to God, our heavenly Father. There needed to be a sacrifice, and God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, Jesus, who was sinless, to take our place. It’s like a mother giving away her newborn baby or you giving away your only child to pay someone else’s debt, someone who couldn’t care less about you or love you back. God was willing to do that for you and me.

Jesus Christ was crucified, with nails driven through His hands and feet and a crown of thorns pressed onto His head. He was whipped until His skin was torn off, becoming unrecognizable. As He hung on that cross, He did it for your sins. He took our sins upon Himself, including the very sins that have destroyed our lives. He was destroyed for those sins on that cross. He bled and died for our sins, which were buried with Him in the grave. Three days later, Jesus Christ was raised from the dead. Jesus is alive!

The Call to Salvation

This message is for everyone. Regardless of your wealth, status, sexual orientation or religious background, Jesus invites you to turn from sin and accept His gift of salvation. No amount of money, social standing, or religious observance can save you. It’s not about comparing yourself to others; the only comparison that matters is with God, and we all fall short, we all have sinned. God doesn’t want our religion; He wants a relationship with us. We are created with a God-shaped vacuum that nothing else can fill. He said, “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness but will have the light of life.”

Now is the time to respond. Tomorrow is not guaranteed. Romans 10:9 says, “If you declare with your mouth, ‘Jesus is Lord,’ and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved.” This declaration and belief bring salvation. John 3:36 warns, “Whoever believes in the Son has eternal life, but whoever rejects the Son will not see life, for God’s wrath remains on them.”

A Prayer of Salvation

If you feel the call in your heart, don’t wait. Embrace this good news today and pray:

“Dear God, thank you for loving me. I confess that I have sinned against you. I believe that Jesus, Your Son, died on the cross to pay for my sins. I believe that Jesus was raised from the dead. I ask that you forgive all my sins. I confess that Jesus is my Lord and Savior. Thank you for Your gift of eternal life! I pray this in Jesus’ name. Amen.”

Remember, it’s not the prayer that saves you; it’s the heartfelt belief and confession, turning away from sin, and choosing to trust in Jesus for a righteous life. Now is the time for salvation. Turn from darkness to light, from sin to salvation, and follow Jesus.

What next?

Download the free guide on the 7 Things To Do After Getting Saved:

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8 Steps To True Forgiveness and Learning How to Forgive

Published on March 9, 2024 by Editor

**“But if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.” ~ Matthew 6:15**

What is forgiveness?

The definition of forgiveness is essentially the act of pardoning an offender. In the Bible, the Greek word translated “forgiveness” literally means “to let go”, as when a person does not demand payment for a debt. Jesus used this comparison in his parable of the unmerciful slave (Matthew 18:23-35) as well as when he taught his followers to pray “Forgive us our sins, for we ourselves also forgive everyone who is in debt to us” (Luke 11:4).

The Bible teaches that unselfish love is the basis for true forgiveness, since “it keeps no record of wrongs” (1 Corinthians 13:5). Forgiving others means letting go of resentment and giving up any claim to be compensated for the hurt or loss we have suffered.

Why do we need to forgive?

Forgiveness is at the very heart of the gospel. Colossians 3:13 states, “Bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.” We were born sinners against God, but He loved us enough to send Christ, His Son to die for us.

In the same way, we are commanded to forgive those who do wrong to us, not just those who are asking for forgiveness, or those who are first-time offenders or whose wrongs seem forgivable. Jesus famously told Peter in Matthew 18 to forgive someone “seventy times seven” times and he makes the sobering statement that if we do not forgive others, our Father in Heaven will not forgive us (Matthew 6:15).

First and foremost, forgiving others is obedience, however, we also need to forgive others so that we don’t grow bitter. Resentment is a very unhealthy emotion; it hurts us far more than those who have affronted us or anyone else.

The Bible states this in Hebrews 12:15, “See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God; that no “root of bitterness” springs up and causes trouble, and by it, many become defiled.” As we release unforgiveness and all the bitterness and anger that comes with it, we are freed to live and serve with real peace and joy and to grow in spiritual maturity.

What forgiveness isn’t

A well-known pastor explained that many people are reluctant to show mercy because they don’t understand the difference between trust and forgiveness. Forgiving others must be immediate, whether or not a person asks for it.

Trust, on the other hand, has to do with future behavior and it will likely take time to build or rebuild. Warren explains, “If someone hurts you repeatedly, you are commanded by God to forgive them instantly, but you are not expected to trust them immediately, and you are not expected to continue allowing them to hurt you.”

Forgiveness isn’t sweeping things under the rug and saying what the other person did or said was okay. Forgiveness is also not necessarily forgetting what happened. Depending on the situation, it may require a time of healing.

But if you hold on to the transgression like a trump card and play it every chance you get, you can be sure that unforgiveness is still present. This goes against Jesus’ command to forgive “seventy times seven” times. After all, remember that God has forgiven you more times than you will ever have the opportunity to forgive someone else.

How to forgive

How then do we achieve this “letting go,” which can feel like an impossible task? Even if we desire it; our emotions can rise up at the least expected time and overwhelm us with anger and pain.

In our own strength, forgiving others in the way we have received God’s forgiveness is impossible, but with God, nothing is impossible, and with His Spirit inside us we can go through a process that leads to true forgiveness.

Here are eight steps to help you truly forgive and have freedom in your life. If you have been significantly hurt by someone’s actions or words, working through these stages with a Christian counselor can be immensely helpful. Having someone to whom you can reveal your internal feelings and who will gently nudge you towards God’s word, can guard against stagnation, and those bitter roots which Hebrews 12 warns about.

8 Steps to True Forgiveness

1. Acknowledge the pain.

Working through pain can only happen once you admit you’ve been hurt. And acknowledging this can intensify the feelings. Tears, feelings of resentment and ruminating thoughts are a good indicator that something’s wrong. Don’t numb yourself or “stuff” the emotion down, as that cuts off the process of forgiving others before it’s even begun.

2. Think through things.

Try writing down what happened in a journal, or share with a trusted friend. Admit that what happened makes you feel sad or angry, and be honest about what emotions are rising up in you, even if it epitomizes unforgiveness and you think you shouldn’t feel that way.

3. Imagine being on the other side.

Think about a time when you have had to ask for forgiveness; how did it make you feel? When have you wronged another person, and did they extend forgiveness to you, or withhold it? The Bible directs us to do to others what we would have them do to us (Matthew 7:12) and so it can be helpful to put ourselves in their shoes for a moment.

4. Remember God’s forgiveness.

Reminding ourselves of the debt that God forgave us in Christ when we certainly didn’t deserve it, can help us forgive others. If we have been forgiven so much, how then can we hold onto grievances committed against us? This is another step in the process and doesn’t mean that you must be ready at this point to voice your forgiveness to your offender. This may not ever be possible, as the person may no longer be living. You can still forgive someone without that forgiveness being accepted.

5. Reflect on our Biblical command.

Jesus stressed the importance of forgiving others on many occasions and even included it in the Lord’s prayer, “forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.” Pray that this would hit home in your heart and that your decision to obey would force your emotions to catch up.

6. Let go of the hurt.

The devil is an expert at getting a foothold when we have made a choice to forgive but the wound is still sensitive. Don’t allow yourself to replay the offense over and over; let go of the pain and determine that you are going to choose to move forward. This is where prayer is essential as on our own we are tempted to wander back to unforgiveness.

7. Continue to forgive.

Forgiveness is more than just saying a prayer and moving on. It’s a serious decision that you make over and over again. The process will most likely be uncomfortable and painful, but it will always be worth it in the end.

8. Pray for the person who hurt you.

In Matthew 5:44 Jesus commands us “Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.” Ask God to reveal his love to your offender in your heart, and for him to dissolve negative emotions. Is there any more powerful witness of God’s transforming grace than someone who can display true forgiveness to the “unforgivable”?

With promises found in Scriptures like Philippians 4:13 (“I can do all this through Him who gives me strength”) and Romans 12:21 (“Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good”), we know that we can depend on God to give us the grace to live out forgiveness. Make the right choice – start a journey of forgiveness today, praying for the Lord to equip you for this difficult but eternally rewarding task.

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**By Jessica Oberreuter at LA Christian Counselling

Trusting God to Heal the Scars of Sexual Abuse

Published on June 24, 2023May 22, 2024 by Editor

“You need to learn to trust men again.”

When she said this just moments after I admitted I had been sexually abused as a child by a man I trusted, I got mad . . . really mad! She didn’t understand the depth of my fear, disgust, anger, and helplessness. She didn’t even acknowledge my emotional scars.

As with many women, my scars of abuse felt unique. I was confused about what was normal and used a variety of defense mechanisms to get through life.

If you’ve been sexually abused, you may be coping in one or more of the following ways. You hide or keep people at extreme distances, afraid of being hurt again. You remain numb through adulthood. If married, you find it difficult to respond sexually. You fear biblical submission—afraid of losing control.

You may feel damaged, see yourself as a sex object, flaunt your sexuality, and descend into promiscuity and other sexual sins. Or like me, you pour yourself into being “good” or embrace ministry. You may not understand the power of the gospel and focus instead on pleasing God to gain His favor.

You might respond to your abuse with anxiety, depression, self-loathing, self-harming actions, fear of intimacy, homosexuality, indecisiveness, perfectionism, a need to control, eating disorders, or addictions.

Satan doesn’t care how we react to the sinfulness of sexual abuse . . . as long as we don’t turn to Jesus. The enemy knows that when we find our identity, security, and dignity in Christ, we can live in victory.

Twisted Thinking

It took me awhile to get there, though. For years, I felt the need to protect my abuser and not hurt others who loved him. It was twisted thinking, but the enemy delights in warping thoughts. In high school, I had poor interpersonal skills. By college, I felt suicidal and alone. Abuse distorted my image of God and affected my ability to seek and trust Him. My confidence was shattered.

After college, I joined Life Action Ministries and began a journey with God that changed my heart and life. One day as I was singing “Do You Know My Jesus?” on stage with the team, I suddenly realized I knew all about Jesus, but I didn’t know Him. I left the microphone, went to the prayer room, and placed my life in Jesus’ hands.

The most astounding changes came as I learned to trust Him with my past hurts.

Lessons I Learned

God loves me. Deeply and completely. The enemy loves it when I feel shame, condemnation, and self-loathing, but God’s Word says I am precious in God’s sight—accepted and valued (Isa. 43:4).
God saw my abuse and did not condone it. Neither should I. I do not have to stay silent or bury the pain and trauma. The Lord hates all wickedness, including my abuser’s sinful actions (Ps. 11:5).
I can pray for wisdom and entrust true justice to the righteous heart of God. He always has the last word—He brings justice to the unrepentant and great mercy to the repentant (Ps. 103:6).
I know I can forgive others because I have been so greatly forgiven. Bitterness will only make my pain worse and continue to wound others (Heb. 12:15).
I can pray for my abuser’s change of heart and repentance—that my abuser will seek the Lord, turn from wickedness, and learn to live a godly life so God will be glorified (Luke 6:28).
I do not have to live in fear like a victim. Peace and victory come as I study and rest in who I am in Christ (Eph. 1:3–8).
As I run to the Lord who sees, heals, and comforts, I can use what the enemy meant for evil to bring glory and praise to God (Gen. 50:20).
I can learn how to communicate clear, pure boundaries in all relationships and speak truth in love (Eph. 4:15).
I must be aware of the enemy’s schemes to control my responses and defeat me. I must saturate my life with Scripture and remember God’s grace is greater than the condemnation I feel (1 John 3:20).
Knowing my thoughts will control my actions and responses, I must allow God to transform my thinking so I can make daily choices to please Him (Rom. 12:2).
I will grow and heal as I rub shoulders with godly women who model how to respond with the pure love of Christ and trust the Lord to help me stand in dignity and strength (1 Peter 3:3–5).
I can, as a member of the Body of Christ, be a part of holding abusers accountable—especially within the church (Matt. 18:15–17).
I can also encourage those who still struggle toward freedom from the pain and insecurities that arise out of sexual abuse (Gal. 6:2).

Set Free and Healing

Second Peter 1:3 says, “His divine power has granted to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of him who called us to his own glory and excellence.” I’ve discovered everything I need to move forward in grace and strength comes from abiding in God’s presence and the Word of God.

The path to thriving begins with God-focus, not self-focus. If we continue to gaze inward, we will always see our scars, but when we gaze on Jesus, we see His scars and remember He died to make us whole again. We can trust this One who loved us so completely.

I’ve grown in Christ, but it hasn’t always been easy. I’ve had many questions, and my heart screamed for answers. Satan wants us to believe God is not good and does not care, but our Father God is never blind to the sins that hurt His people. He grieves over all sin and hates it. Sometimes the Lord deals directly with others’ sinful behavior against us; other times, it’s just not time yet. In mercy, God gives even the most evil among us opportunities to turn to Him and repent.

My great comfort is that Jesus understands abuse. He suffered great abuse and even death to give us life (see Isa. 53). He brings hope for today and tomorrow and, most certainly, hope for dealing in victory with hurtful past circumstances.

I am free to love others sincerely and allow the Lord to work in my life and my abuser’s life now that I have been set free from the bondage that chained me for so many years,

Although Jesus said He came to give me abundant life (John 10:10), sometimes I resort to survival mode when I allow myself to feel ashamed. In those moments, I forget who I am—or rather, whose I am. Jesus bore my shame on the cross; I don’t need to bear it for one moment.

Though scars remain, God gives healing grace.

Father God, I ask You to bring victory and healing to those who suffer. Surround them with Your presence, help them see You as You really are, and show them the overcoming power in Your Word. Amen.

If you are struggling, you might also want to watch this video about a young woman who was sexually abused.

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Forgiving Others as God Has Forgiven Us

Published on June 6, 2023December 11, 2023 by Editor

**But if you don’t forgive others, your Father will not forgive your offenses. ~ Matthew 6:15**

God is rich in mercy (Ephesians 2:4). The very first characteristic of the Divine nature that every one of us encountered when we were converted was His mercy. That should also be the very first impression that others have when they encounter us, if indeed we have partaken of the Divine nature.

There is no mercy found in hell and no mercy found in our flesh either. Our flesh is naturally hard towards others and it is easy to deceive ourselves that such hardness is part of the Divine severity. Such is the deceitfulness of sin.

If we could look into Heaven right now, we would find that God is constantly forgiving others. From every part of this world, believers and unbelievers are constantly crying out to Him asking for forgiveness for their sins and their failures. And He is always forgiving them – 24 hours of every day. Some may be asking for forgiveness for a sin that they have committed for the 1000 th time. He still forgives, for that is His nature. Jesus said that we were to forgive others in exactly the same way (Matthew 18:35)

Jesus also said that we were to forgive our brothers seven times in a single day (Luke 17:4). A day was reckoned as 12 hours. This meant that if your brother sinned against you at 6 a.m. one morning, and asked for your forgiveness at 7 a.m. you were to forgive him. If he committed the same sin against you at 8 a.m. and asked for your forgiveness at 9 a.m. you were to forgive him again. Then at 10 a.m. he does the same thing a third time, and asks for your forgiveness at 11 a.m. You are to forgive him. He repeats exactly the same sin at 12 noon and at 2 p.m. and at 4 p.m. and comes back each time, an hour later and asks for forgiveness. Each time, you are to forgive him, without keeping any record of the number of times you have forgiven him already, the same day. Some who are legalistically minded may say that Jesus did tell us to keep a record up to seven times. That is exactly what Peter once said to Jesus, and he was told that he was to forgive his brother 490 times (Matthew 18:21,22)

That is what God’s nature is like. And the good news of the new covenant is that we can partake of His nature. It is easier to speak about this than to actually partake of it. We all know that from experience. But “the kingdom of God is not in words but in power” (1 Corinthians 4:20)

The glory of Christ is radiated through us, not by our mouthing so many wonderful “truths” and doctrines, but by our manifesting the love of God to others.

***Prayer for forgiving others