Category: Relationships

The Search For Meaning: How Modern Idolatry Reflects Our God Shaped Longing

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From the bustling streets of Tokyo to the quiet corners of a rural village, one thing remains constant: the human tendency to idolize something. This phenomenon is not new; throughout history, people have worshiped various deities, objects, and ideals. However, the essence of modern idolatry reflects a deeper spiritual longing—a God-shaped hole in our hearts meant exclusively for Him. This inherent desire for connection with the divine often leads individuals to fill that void with worldly pursuits, resulting in a cycle of dissatisfaction and spiritual emptiness.

The God-Shaped Hole: A Divine Design

The concept of a God-shaped hole in the human heart can be traced back to the idea that God created us with a longing for relationship with Him. In Ecclesiastes 3:11, it is written, “He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart.” This verse suggests that God intentionally designed us with an innate desire for eternity, a yearning for something beyond ourselves.

When we do not know God as our Lord and Savior, this longing can manifest in various ways. People often seek to fill this void with things of this world: relationships, success, wealth, or material possessions. Each attempt to fill this gap with transient things ultimately leads to disappointment, as none can satisfy the deep-rooted desire for a relationship with our Creator.

The Allure of Worldly Idols

Modern idolatry often disguises itself in the form of societal values and personal ambitions. Many individuals idolize career success, celebrity culture, and the pursuit of pleasure. Social media platforms can amplify this phenomenon, presenting curated images of seemingly perfect lives, encouraging a culture of comparison and envy.

In the quest for fulfillment, people may unknowingly prioritize these worldly pursuits over their relationship with God. This displacement of affection can lead to feelings of inadequacy and emptiness. As humans chase after fleeting pleasures and possessions, they often find themselves in a cycle of unfulfilled desires, driven by the constant need for more.

The Consequences of Idolatry

When we prioritize idols over God, we risk drifting away from the very source of true fulfillment. The Bible warns against idolatry in various forms. In Exodus 20:3-5, God commands, “You shall have no other gods before Me. You shall not make for yourself a carved image…” This admonition emphasizes that anything we elevate above God is an idol, whether it be wealth, success, or even relationships.

The consequences of such idolatry are profound. It not only leads to spiritual stagnation but also to a profound sense of isolation. Without the foundation of a relationship with God, individuals often feel lost, disconnected, and devoid of purpose.

The Universal Search for Meaning

Across cultures and eras, the quest for meaning and fulfillment is universal. No matter where you go, you will find people idolizing something, reflecting the innate human longing for connection and purpose. From ancient rituals to modern practices, the forms may change, but the underlying desire remains: a yearning for something greater than oneself.

This universal search often leads to the creation of idols—be they material possessions, celebrity figures, or ideologies. However, these pursuits are mere substitutes for the real thing. They offer temporary satisfaction but fail to provide lasting peace and joy.

Finding Fulfillment in Christ

The only true solution to the God-shaped hole in our hearts is a relationship with Jesus Christ. John 10:10 reminds us, “I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly.” When we accept Christ as our Savior, we begin to experience the fulfillment that comes from knowing our Creator.

A relationship with God provides the ultimate source of identity, purpose, and belonging. Through Him, we find the strength to resist the allure of worldly idols, focusing instead on His eternal promises.

Conclusion: A Call to Authentic Worship

In a world filled with distractions and temptations, it is crucial to recognize the dangers of modern idolatry. The God-shaped hole in our hearts can only be filled by the love and grace of our Creator. As believers, we are called to identify and dismantle any idols that may have taken root in our lives, turning our hearts back to God.

Let us strive to seek Him above all else, understanding that true fulfillment is found not in the transient things of this world, but in a vibrant, life-giving relationship with Jesus Christ. In doing so, we can experience the abundant life He promises, a life where our hearts are fully satisfied in Him alone.

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**Photo by Wild Little Things at Pexels

Jesus Continuously Sought Power in Prayer

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The Bible compares the man who lives in dependence on God to a tree that draws its sustenance from an underground river (Jeremiah 17:5-8). That is how Jesus lived – perpetually drawing His spiritual resources, as a man, from the Holy Spirit (the river of God).

Jesus’ victory over temptation, was not through human determination, but because He drew strength from the Father, moment-by-moment. The way of self-denial as exemplified and taught by Jesus is not one where the soul attempts to master itself. No. That is Buddhism and yoga and is as different from the teaching of Scripture as earth is from heaven.

“Jesus continuously sought for the power of God in prayer, and was never disappointed.”
Jesus taught that as human beings we do not have the power to live and serve God as we should. He said that we were like helpless branches entirely dependent on the sap supplied by the tree for fruitfulness. “Apart from Me,” He said, “you can do nothing” (John 15:5). And so, what we do manage to do, without the help of the Holy Spirit can be considered to be NOTHING. Herein lies the vital necessity to be “filled with the Spirit continuously” (Ephesians 5:18).

Jesus Himself was filled and anointed with the Holy Spirit (Luke 4:1, 18), and He lived and laboured for His Father in the Spirit’s power. But this was possible, only because as a man, He was poor in spirit.

Jesus was conscious of the weakness of the human frame that He had taken on. Therefore, He was perpetually looking for opportunities to get alone and pray. Someone has said that, as tourists look for good hotels and for important sights to be seen, when they enter a city, so Jesus looked for solitary places where He could pray.

He sought for power to overcome temptation and put His soul-power to death. No man was as conscious as Jesus was, of the utter weakness of the flesh, and so He sought the Father’s face in prayer for help, as no man ever did. He prayed with “loud crying and tears” in the days of His flesh. The result was that He was mightily strengthened by the Father, much more than any other man. Thus, Jesus never once sinned and never lived out from His soul (Hebrews 4:15; 5:7-9).

Is it not significant that 25 times in the gospels, the words “pray” or “prayer” are used in connection with Jesus? Therein lay the secret of His life and His labours.

Jesus not only prayed before the great events of His life, but also after some of His great achievements. After feeding the five thousand miraculously, He withdrew into the mountains to pray (Matthew 14:23). This was no doubt to guard against temptations to pride or complacency over the work accomplished, and to renew His strength by waiting on His Father (Isaiah 40:31). We usually pray only before we have some important task to do for the Lord. But if we would develop the habit that Jesus had, of waiting before the Father after we have finished our task, we would preserve ourselves from pride and thus be equipped to do greater things for the Lord.

The busier Jesus’ life became, the more He prayed. There were times when He did not have time to eat or even to rest (Mark 3:20; 6:31, 33, 46), but He always took time to pray. He knew when to sleep and when to pray, for He obeyed the promptings of the Spirit.

Poverty of spirit is a prerequisite for effective prayer. Prayer is the expression of human helplessness, and if it is to be meaningful and not a mere ritual, there must be a constant recognition of the inadequacy of human resources either to live the Christian life or to serve God.

Jesus continuously sought for the power of God in prayer and was never disappointed. Thus, He accomplished things through prayer, that even He could not have accomplished in any other way.

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**By Zac Poonen © Copyright – Zac Poonen. No changes whatsoever are to be made to the content of the article without written permission from the author. https://www.cfcindia.com/ / Photo by Antonie de Kok at Pexels

Nothing New Under the Sun: Jezebel and the New Age Movements

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“See to it that no one takes you captive by philosophy and empty deceit, according to human tradition, according to the elemental spirits of the world, and not according to Christ.” ~ Colossians 2:8

Wicked women are presented as they truly are in the Bible—without any attempt to sanitize their lives or actions. One such infamous figure is Jezebel, the wife of King Ahab of Israel. She was not a believer in the one true God, and her reign over northern Israel marked the introduction and spread of a false religion—worship of Baal. This religion quickly took hold because Jezebel became a role model for many women of her time. Her religion was rooted in the worship of Baal, or Satan, who is behind all false religions.

To please the queen was politically savvy, so she filled Israel with 850 priests practicing her religion, leading the people further astray. Jezebel’s impact was profound and deeply harmful, as she turned the nation away from the true God.

The Parallels Between Baal Worship and the New Age Movement

“The god of this age has blinded the minds of unbelievers, so that they cannot see the light of the gospel that displays the glory of Christ, who is the image of God.” ~ 2 Corinthians 4:4

Do you want to know what Jezebel’s religion was like? We are witnessing the rise of a similar, swift, and powerful religion sweeping the planet today—the New Age / Golden Age Movement. This belief system, like the false worship of Baal, denies the existence of a personal God who loves His people. Instead, it promotes an impersonal, universal energy force. In the New Age Movement, God can be referred to in many ways— she or he, mother or father, god or goddess, the Earth, the sun, the stars, or even nature itself can be worshipped as God. New Age teachers claim to receive guidance from so-called “spirit guides,” “ascended masters,” “masters of wisdom” “angels,” and “higher beings,” all of whom make up the hierarchy of this movement. They state that some of their guides are angels.

However, Jezebel’s priests, when confronted by the prophet Elijah, were exposed for their reliance on demonic forces – fallen angels, whilst practicing their false religion. Elijah challenged all 850 of them to prove the power of their gods, demonstrating that their supposed deities were powerless before the one true God. When they failed, the false nature of their religion was revealed, along with their demon guides posing as angels.

The New Age Movement bears striking similarities to Jezebel’s worship of Baal. For example, the New Age movement claims that Jesus Christ was merely a reincarnated messenger—not the Son of God. They assert that Christ was sent by the demon hierarchy of angels to provide “spiritually advanced revelations” to their group. In fact, they teach that Jesus is just one of many “Christs,” alongside figures like Buddha, Mohammed, and Confucius. This system accepts anyone who rejects Jesus Christ as the Son of God—whether they are Shintoists, Satanists, Buddhists, secular humanists, witches, or anyone else who doesn’t acknowledge the truth or accept the Christ, and that He is a personal God. They teach that man is not sinful, nor evil, and that Jesus’s sacrifice on the Cross has no meaning, according to them it was meaningless.

Moreover, the New Age Movement denies the existence of sin, judgment, and the need for salvation. Instead, it teaches that humanity has evolved over thousands of years and that there is no need for a savior. This philosophy is the basis of all false religions; rooted in ancient lies, echoing the deceptions of Satan, who hides the reality of judgment, hell, and sin, and all of his followers do the same, because they have been blinded to the truth. It’s no surprise that Jezebel’s actions—her cheating, lying, and murder—were reflections of her allegiance to Satan, the father of lies. Her conscience was so seared with unbelief in the one true God that she had no fear of judgment, she never expected to meet a righteous and holy God one day, who will judge her for things done in the flesh, her thoughts, her deeds and her motives.

Modern Echoes: The Age of Aquarius

Today, the New Age Movement is spreading rapidly, with some even calling it the “Age of Aquarius.” Many people are drawn to its teachings, including secular humanists, witches, Satanists, and celebrities. One prominent TV and movie star has become a spokesperson for the movement, claiming to receive instructions from an ancient being, that tells her things and guides her. This celebrity, like Jezebel, serves as a role model for many, leading others into deception.

The New Age Movement teaches that being “born again” is simply a personal transformation or healing of the self. It says that you must “let go” and allow your “inner guide” or “higher self” to direct your life, without any belief or need for the Holy Spirit and Him indwelling you. They speak of something called “kundalini,” a Hindu term meaning “serpent power,” which has clear connections to Satan. This mimics spiritual experiences, but it is a counterfeit of true Christian transformational quality of the Holy Spirit.

Satan, as always, has counterfeited the things of Jesus Christ and Christianity. The New Age Movement, much like the false prophets in Jezebel’s time, speaks of a “Christ-like” figure who will come to establish a utopian Kingdom of peace on Earth, that he will reign over the new age, bringing about a one world religion and consolidating all nations into one government. This is eerily similar to the Antichrist, who will deceive many and promise a one-world government and a counterfeit peace—something the Bible warns will happen before the true return of Jesus Christ.

Distinguishing Truth from Deception

In a nutshell, here is what the New Age Movement teaches:

• God is impersonal; He is not loving, He can be a he or she, but not the sovereign, holy, and righteous God of the Bible.

• Jesus is not the Son of God, not the Christ and someone greater than Jesus will come, not realising there will be an anti-Christ connected to Satan, who will try to imitate the Christ, as we have been forewarned in scriptures.

• There is no need for being born again, as they reject the Holy Spirit and encourage people to follow their demon guides.

• And about the 2nd coming of Jesus Christ that the anti-Christ will rule in Earth and Heaven is the Kingdom of God during the Age of Aquarius and that it is not a real place, but merely an Earthly utopia.

• There is no sin, judgment, evil or hell.

As believers in Christ, we know these claims are false. We have the truth from the Bible, which tells us that God is our loving Father, He is not a she or a goddess, but the supreme being. Jesus is His only begotten Son, the express image of the invisible God, and salvation comes through Him alone. The Holy Spirit, sent by the Father and the Son, dwells within us, guiding and empowering us to live according to God’s will. Heaven is a real, physical place where God the Father and God the Son reign in glory, and hell is a real and horrible place for those who reject the truth of the gospel. Through the Holy Spirit, we are assured of our salvation and strengthened in our faith as we await eternal life with God. He tells us that angels are messengers of God and named in scripture and He tells us to be born again, by the spirit of God by receiving Jesus as our personal Saviour.

A Call to Stand Firm in the Truth

Throughout history, God has warned His people about false religions. From Jezebel’s priests to the builders of the Tower of Babel, we have seen it through the ages. These instances of idolatry and rebellion against God serve as lessons for us today. Even in Noah’s time, when wickedness was rampant, God had to destroy the world with a flood. This, too, is a forewarning for us today. Jesus Himself tells us in Matthew 24 that when we see the same kinds of lawlessness and rebellion happening again, it is a sign that His return is near.

In Matthew 24:29-30, Jesus speaks of the signs preceding His second coming: “Immediately after the distress of those days, the sun will be darkened, and the moon will not give its light; the stars will fall from the sky, and the heavenly bodies will be shaken. Then will appear the sign of the Son of Man in heaven.”

We know that in the end times, false prophets will rise up to deceive even the elect (Matthew 24:24). Deception has led to destruction throughout the ages, and it will culminate in the final days before Jesus’ return. This New Age Movement, like its predecessors, may fade into the background only to be replaced by another. Yet, there is the real possibility that this movement could lead to the rise of the Antichrist, who will deceive many with promises of peace and a one-world government. Scripture warns us that the Antichrist will set up his rule on Earth, even establishing himself in Jerusalem and claiming to be the Christ (2 Thessalonians 2:3-4). However, we who know the Bible recognize this for the lie that it is.

Jesus warned: “If anyone tells you, ‘There he is, out in the wilderness,’ do not go out; or, ‘Here he is, in the inner rooms,’ do not believe it” (Matthew 24:26). His true return will not be secret or localized. We are told in 1 Thessalonians 4:16-17 that He will descend from heaven with a loud command, with the voice of the archangel, and with the trumpet call of God. The dead in Christ will rise first, and those who are still alive will be caught up to meet Him in the air. This event, known as the rapture, will take place in an instant, in the twinkling of an eye (1 Corinthians 15:52).

Jesus will gather His elect and take them to be with Him for seven years, during which time the Great Tribulation will unfold on Earth. After this period, He will return with His saints to establish His Kingdom on Earth and reign for a thousand years (Revelation 20:4-6). Unlike the false peace promised by the New Age Movement, this will be the true and lasting reign of the Prince of Peace.

We are warned in Scripture that the Antichrist will bring about a false peace and deceive many. Jesus Himself cautioned us against following these lies. We are also reminded of the lessons of history—Jezebel and her false prophets led Israel into idolatry, and the builders of the Tower of Babel sought to defy God’s sovereignty. These stories serve as warnings for us today. Wide is the gate that leads to destruction, but narrow is the gate that leads to life (Matthew 7:13-14).

As believers, we look forward to the Lord’s return. By God’s grace, we will not be caught up in the ecumenical movement or New Age ideologies that attempt to unify all religions and philosophies into one deceptive system. This “Age of Aquarius” promises enlightenment and unity but leads people to follow the Antichrist instead of Christ. The Bible is clear: there can be no lasting peace on Earth until Jesus Himself returns to set up His Kingdom.

We must stand firm in the truth, remembering Jesus’ words and promises. Let us choose the narrow path that leads to life. Choose wisely—choose Christ!

Conclusion: Lessons from Jezebel and the Bible

God’s sovereignty remains unshaken; He knows the beginning from the end. The warnings drawn from Jezebel’s life and scripture provide us with timeless clarity. As Ecclesiastes 1:9 reminds us, “There is nothing new under the sun.” Satan’s methods of deception have not changed, and false religions like the New Age / Golden Age Movement are modern manifestations of these ancient lies. These deceptions, cloaked in promises of enlightenment, peace, and unity, echo the spiritual rebellion seen in Jezebel’s time, the Tower of Babel, and countless other moments in history.

Even those movements that claim to acknowledge Christ often compromise truth, embracing all religions in the name of an ecumenical ‘unity and peace.’ This push toward a one-world religion is yet another ploy by Satan, setting the stage for the rise of the Antichrist, who will seek to establish his rule over a one-world government. Scripture warns us of this, and as believers, we are called to be vigilant.

Our anchor is the Word of God. We must remain grounded, discerning, and uncompromising in our faith. The false promises of movements like the New Age and the allure of unity at the expense of truth must be rejected. Instead, we fix our eyes on Christ, awaiting His glorious return when He will establish His eternal Kingdom—a Kingdom of true peace and righteousness.

Let us hold fast to God’s promises, stand firm in His truth, and keep our hearts prepared for the day when the Prince of Peace will reign forever.

The free gift of salvation

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“Nothing New Under the Sun” is adapted from Eleanor Page’s talk on ‘Jezebel’ in the ‘Women in the Bible’ series, broadcasted on BBN Radio / Photo by RDNE Stock at Pexels.

Christian Pre-Marital Counseling: A Comprehensive Guide 

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Christian pre-marital counseling is a thoughtful and intentional process that prepares engaged couples for a lifelong, Christ-centered marriage. It goes beyond mere relationship advice, offering a spiritual, emotional, and practical foundation for a covenant that mirrors God’s love. Through a series of guided sessions, couples explore important topics such as communication, finances, faith, intimacy, and future goals—ensuring they are well-equipped to build a strong, godly marriage before they exchange vows.

Historically, this kind of preparation was the norm in Christian communities. Churches and families understood the weight of the marriage covenant and made it a priority to equip couples spiritually, emotionally, and practically before marriage.

Today, in a world where romanticized love often takes center stage, pre-marital counseling serves as a much-needed reality check. It helps couples take off the rose-tinted glasses and honestly assess the lifelong journey they’re about to begin. Rather than assuming love is enough, it asks the deeper questions:

Are we truly compatible? Are we ready to walk through life’s highs and lows as one? Are we prepared to love sacrificially, forgive quickly, and grow together in Christ?

Done with humility and openness, Christian pre-marital counseling can transform your engagement from a season of planning a wedding into a sacred time of building a marriage—with God at the center.

Who Leads Pre-Marital Counseling?

Pre-marital counseling is often led by:

Church leaders (pastors, elders, marriage mentors) Licensed Christian counselors Certified marriage coaches or mentors

If your church doesn’t offer a program, many excellent Christian-based services are available both online and in person (see resource links at the end).

Key Topics Covered in Christian Pre-Marital Counseling

1. Faith & Spiritual Foundation

Marriage is a spiritual journey that should be rooted in Christ. Christian pre-marital counseling often begins with exploring your individual relationship with God and how that will shape your union. Couples should discuss biblical roles in marriage (Ephesians 5), the importance of prayer, worship, and spiritual disciplines as a couple, and how they will build their faith life together. For many, the question of how to raise children in the faith is an important conversation.

“Unless the Lord builds the house, the builders labor in vain.” – Psalm 127:1

2. Communication & Conflict Resolution

How you communicate and resolve conflict can make or break a marriage. Pre-marital counseling helps couples recognize their communication styles and learn how to listen actively, speak with grace, and resolve conflicts in a healthy way. It also involves addressing common toxic patterns, such as passive-aggressive behavior, silence, and sarcasm. Couples should be equipped to handle disagreements with respect and humility, using biblical principles like Matthew 18 as a guide for resolving conflict.

“Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry.” – James 1:19

3. Finances

Financial compatibility is a major area of focus. Couples need to discuss their spending and saving habits, budgeting, and how to handle debt, tithing, and long-term financial planning. Financial transparency is critical, as money is often a point of contention in marriages. Pre-marital counseling offers the space to set financial goals and discuss how to manage money as a team.

“The borrower is slave to the lender.” – Proverbs 22:7

4. Life Goals & Expectations

Where do you see yourselves in 5 or 10 years? Couples should talk through their career paths, education goals, family plans, and lifestyle expectations—including housing, travel, and retirement. Discussing these details ensures that both partners have aligned visions for their future and understand each other’s dreams and ambitions.

5. Family Background & Boundaries

How does your upbringing influence your expectations of marriage? Exploring family dynamics helps couples identify patterns they want to repeat or break. An essential biblical principle is “leaving father and mother and cleaving to your wife” (Genesis 2:24). Establishing a new, independent family unit means setting boundaries with extended family and ensuring the marriage remains the central priority. Couples should also discuss how to manage family holidays and traditions while focusing on their own union.

6. Sex & Intimacy

Intimacy is an essential part of marriage. Pre-marital counseling offers couples a chance to discuss their views on sexual intimacy and the biblical view of the marriage bed (Hebrews 13:4). Couples will explore their emotional and physical expectations and consider how to protect their intimacy. It’s important to discuss love languages, emotional needs, and any past trauma that might affect intimacy in marriage. It is crucial to approach this topic wisely, focusing on creating a healthy and fulfilling intimate relationship in the present day. The emphasis should be on growing together in sexual unity, rather than measuring past histories or creating unnecessary friction, wisdom is required here.

“The two shall become one flesh.” – Genesis 2:24

7. Medical History & Health Awareness

Health plays a significant role in marriage. Couples should be open about their medical history, including any hereditary concerns like sickle cell or thalassemia. It’s also essential to discuss HIV/STI testing, mental health history, and chronic illnesses that may affect daily life or long-term plans. Being proactive in discussing health allows couples to make informed decisions together.

Core Questions to Ask Before Marriage

Spiritual Life

What does your walk with God look like? How will we grow spiritually as a couple? How will we decide on church involvement and spiritual leadership? How will we raise our children in the faith?

Communication & Conflict

What is your typical response in conflict? How do you express frustration or hurt? What makes you feel heard and valued? How do you forgive and move forward?

Finances

What is your current financial situation? How do you handle budgeting and spending? Are you comfortable with debt? What are your financial goals? Will we share bank accounts?

Life Goals

Where do you see yourself in 5 or 10 years? What are your views on career, family, and ministry? What would “success” in marriage look like to you? How do we support each other’s dreams?

Family Dynamics

What was your parents’ marriage like? What family habits do you want to keep or change? How involved will our families be in our lives? How will we manage holidays and family expectations?

Intimacy

What makes you feel emotionally and physically close? Are there any emotional wounds or concerns to work through? What are your boundaries and expectations in this area? How will we protect our intimacy in marriage?

Health & Wellness

Have you had any medical conditions that affect daily life? Are you aware of any hereditary illnesses or risks? Have you been tested for STIs? Are there any mental health concerns to discuss?

Conclusion

Christian pre-marital counseling is a powerful tool to help couples build a marriage that honors God. By addressing these critical topics early, couples can approach marriage with wisdom, understanding, and a shared vision. However, it’s important to remember that while words and promises are vital, actions speak louder than words. As you embark on this journey, take time to observe your partner’s actions and character. Anyone can say the right things, but true commitment, integrity, and compatibility are revealed in how a person lives and responds to challenges. People usually show you who they are—believe them the first time. Ensure that you are not just hearing what your partner says but also seeing how they act, as these actions will be what shape your marriage in the long term.

If your church does not offer a program, there are many Christian-based counseling services available, both online and in person. See the links below for resources:

USA Resources 🇺🇸

Christian Pre-Marital Counseling Online

Marriage and Family Ministry

Prepare/Enrich Marriage Counseling

UK Resources 🇬🇧

Marriage Foundation

Christian Marriage Counseling

The Marriage Course

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** Photo by Cottonbro Studio at Pexels

Marriage: A God-Ordained Ministry, Not a Fairy Tale

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Marriage is one of the most sacred and beautiful institutions created by God. It’s a relationship designed to reflect the love, commitment, and sacrifice seen in Christ’s relationship with the Church. However, marriage is not a fairy tale. It’s not about living in perpetual romance or expecting your spouse to fulfill all your emotional and spiritual needs. Marriage is about partnership, service, and walking through life together, supporting and loving each other.

1. Understanding What Marriage Really Is

Marriage isn’t a quick fix for personal issues, loneliness or dissatisfaction with life. It’s not about having a partner who will complete you in every sense. Only God can truly meet your deepest needs. This is one of the most crucial things to understand before stepping into marriage: a spouse is not your Savior. A healthy marriage doesn’t hinge on the idea that one person will make the other happy all the time. That’s an unrealistic burden to place on any human being, and it’s an unfair expectation to have of your spouse.

Marriage is about coming together to fulfill God’s purposes. It’s a partnership where both people are called to love, serve, and support each other, and above all, serve God. The Bible teaches that marriage is a reflection of Christ’s relationship with the Church (Ephesians 5:32). The goal is not personal happiness alone, but to glorify God through your relationship, sharing love, sacrifice, and growth together.

2. Marriage as a Ministry

In a biblical sense, ministry is about serving others to fulfill God’s plan. While the Bible doesn’t explicitly call marriage “ministry,” the concept is deeply embedded in its teachings. Marriage is God-ordained and meant to reflect His love and purposes. Both the husband and wife are called to serve one another and, in doing so, serve God’s kingdom.

Ephesians 5:25-33 compares the relationship between husband and wife to Christ’s love for the Church. Husbands are called to love their wives sacrificially, just as Christ loved the Church, while wives are called to respect and support their husbands. This mutual relationship shows that marriage is about serving one another, loving and honoring each other, and, ultimately, serving God.

Genesis 2:18 tells us that God created the woman to be a “helper” to the man. This does not suggest inferiority or subordination, but rather highlights a complementary role in which both spouses help, support, and serve each other. In this partnership, the wife is called to respect and submit to her husband’s leadership as he fulfills his God-given role (Ephesians 5:22-24), while the husband is called to lead her with selfless, sacrificial love (Ephesians 5:25-28). This mutual service and submission are not about dominance or control, but about working together to fulfill God’s purposes for their lives.

This makes marriage a ministry in the sense that both partners are working together to glorify God, reflect Christ’s love for the Church, and serve His kingdom. As both the husband and wife live out their roles in love, sacrifice, and respect, their relationship becomes a living testimony of God’s love and His redemptive work.

3. Coming into Marriage Emotionally and Spiritually Ready

Marriage is not the place to look for emotional fulfillment, healing from past wounds, or validation. While a spouse can provide support and encouragement, your primary source of identity and fulfillment must come from God. Before entering marriage, it’s important to be emotionally and spiritually secure in your relationship with God.

This doesn’t mean you have to be perfect, but it does mean you should be actively working on your relationship with God and striving for emotional maturity. Marriage isn’t about finding someone to “fix” you—it’s about two individuals, each grounded in Christ, coming together to serve one another and fulfill God’s purposes.

Practical Tip: Before entering into marriage, invest in your relationship with God. Spend time in prayer, study the Bible, and work on emotional maturity. Cultivate good habits for communication and conflict resolution. Be prepared to bring your best self into the relationship, knowing that your fulfillment ultimately comes from God.

4. The Reality of Roles and Expectations: Talking It Out

Before marriage, it’s crucial to have honest, open conversations about what you both expect in marriage. This goes beyond just the fun stuff like vacations and date nights—it involves discussing practical matters like finances, work, children, and household roles. Understanding each other’s expectations will help prevent misunderstandings later.

One area where many couples face tension is around roles in marriage, especially when it comes to work. Some men may want their wives to stay at home, while others may expect their wives to continue their careers. There’s no one-size-fits-all answer here. The key is clear communication and mutual respect.

If the wife wants to work but the husband prefers that she stays home, it’s important to have a respectful conversation about each person’s desires, financial needs, and long-term goals. The goal is to come to an understanding and make decisions together, ensuring that both spouses are happy and fulfilling their roles as partners in ministry.

Practical Tip: Before marriage, talk about your roles and expectations. Discuss finances, career goals, children, and household responsibilities. Clear communication will help prevent surprises and set you up for a healthy, cooperative partnership.

5. The Gift of Singleness vs. Marriage

It’s essential to recognize that both singleness and marriage are gifts from God. 1 Corinthians 7 teaches that some are called to singleness, which offers a unique opportunity to serve God without the responsibilities of marriage. But for others, marriage is God’s calling, and it provides the chance to glorify Him through companionship and mutual service.

You shouldn’t rush into marriage thinking it will fix loneliness or make you feel fulfilled in ways that are better left to God. Similarly, singles shouldn’t feel incomplete or less than because they’re not married. God has a perfect plan for everyone, whether that’s a season of singleness or a lifelong marriage.

Practical Tip: Embrace your current season, whether married or single. Trust that God has a purpose for you and will use either marriage or singleness to shape you and fulfill His plan.

6. Marriage: A Lifelong Journey of Service

Marriage is not just about personal happiness. It’s about serving one another and fulfilling God’s kingdom purposes together. This means that marriage involves sacrifice, service, and ministry. It’s not just about what you can get from the relationship, but what you can give. As a husband or wife, you’re called to love and serve your spouse selflessly, just as Christ loved the Church.

In marriage, both the husband and wife are helpers to each other (Genesis 2:18), fulfilling complementary roles that reflect God’s design. Marriage is meant to be a team effort, where both partners are committed to each other and to serving God together.

Practical Tip: Keep God at the center of your marriage. Your relationship is not just about you and your spouse—it’s about glorifying God. Look for ways to serve each other, pray together, and use your marriage as a platform to minister to others.

How God Prepares a Woman to Be a Godly Wife

Many women desire to be a godly wife to a godly man, but what does that actually mean? How does God prepare a woman for marriage in a way that aligns with His will? The truth is, preparation isn’t just about finding the right man—it’s about becoming the right woman. Before God entrusts someone with a marriage, He often takes them through a season of growth, refinement, and preparation.

Here are some key ways God prepares a woman to be a godly wife:

1. Strengthening Her Relationship with Him First

Before marriage, a woman’s first priority should be her relationship with God. A strong marriage requires a foundation in Christ, and that begins long before saying, “I do.”

Matthew 6:33 says, “But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.” God teaches a woman to depend on Him first, so she doesn’t expect a husband to fill a role only God can.

This season of preparation is about learning to trust, listen, and obey God, which will later help her support and encourage her husband spiritually.

2. Developing Her Character and Heart

Marriage is not just about romance—it’s about selflessness, patience, and grace. A woman who desires to be a godly wife must first allow God to shape her heart.

Proverbs 31:10-12 describes a virtuous woman as someone who brings good to her husband all the days of her life—not just after marriage. God often refines a woman’s patience, humility, and kindness through everyday life experiences, relationships, and even trials.

If a woman struggles with pride, impatience, or resentment, marriage will only magnify those issues. God prepares her by teaching her how to love, serve, and forgive before she ever steps into marriage.

3. Healing from Past Wounds and Finding Wholeness in Christ

Many people enter relationships hoping their partner will “fix” them or make them feel whole. But true wholeness comes from Christ, not a spouse.

Psalm 147:3 says, “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.” If a woman has past wounds from relationships, family struggles, or insecurities, God may take her through a healing process before leading her into marriage.

This might involve letting go of past hurts, setting healthy boundaries, and learning to see herself through God’s eyes. A healthy marriage is built on two whole individuals, not two broken people looking for completion in each other.

4. Teaching Her Wisdom and Discernment

Not every relationship is from God, and not every man is a godly man. A woman must learn to recognize the difference between a relationship that aligns with God’s will and one that only serves temporary desires.

Proverbs 4:7 says, “Wisdom is the principal thing; therefore get wisdom: and with all thy getting get understanding.” God often teaches discernment through past experiences, the guidance of His Word, and wise counsel from mentors or spiritual leaders.

This preparation helps her recognize a man who genuinely seeks after God rather than one who just plays the part.

5. Growing in Her Purpose and Calling

A woman is not just called to be a wife—she has her own God-given purpose. Before marriage, God may lead her to grow in her personal calling, whether that’s in ministry, career, or serving others.

Jeremiah 29:11 reminds us that God has a plan for each of us, even before marriage. A woman who walks confidently in her calling is more prepared to complement and support her future husband in his calling.

Marriage is about two people serving God together, not one person losing themselves in the other.

6. Learning the Skills Needed for a Godly Marriage

While love is important, practical skills are just as necessary for a strong marriage. God may prepare a woman by teaching her:

Communication skills – Knowing how to express thoughts and feelings in a way that builds, not breaks. Conflict resolution – Learning how to handle disagreements with grace and patience. Serving with love – A godly wife serves her family, not out of obligation, but out of love (Mark 10:45). Financial wisdom – Managing resources wisely to build a strong household (Proverbs 31:16-18).

These skills can be developed in everyday life, long before marriage, through friendships, work, and church involvement.

7. Trusting in God’s Timing

Perhaps the hardest part of preparation is waiting. Many women wonder, “When will it be my turn?” But God’s timing is always perfect.

Ecclesiastes 3:11 says, “He has made everything beautiful in its time.” Rushing into marriage out of impatience can lead to heartache, while waiting on God ensures His best.

In this waiting season, God teaches a woman to trust Him fully, finding joy and contentment in the present rather than worrying about the future.

Final Thoughts

Being prepared for marriage isn’t just about waiting for the right man—it’s about becoming the right woman. God’s process of preparation isn’t always easy, but it’s always purposeful. He strengthens faith, builds character, brings healing, teaches wisdom, and aligns a woman’s heart with His.

If marriage is in His plan, He will bring the right person at the right time. Until then, the best thing any woman can do is grow in her relationship with God, embrace the season she’s in, and trust that His plan is always better than her own.

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** Photo by Jonathan Borba at Pexels