Category: Relationships

Nothing New Under the Sun: Jezebel and the New Age Movements

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“See to it that no one takes you captive by philosophy and empty deceit, according to human tradition, according to the elemental spirits of the world, and not according to Christ.” ~ Colossians 2:8

Wicked women are presented as they truly are in the Bible—without any attempt to sanitize their lives or actions. One such infamous figure is Jezebel, the wife of King Ahab of Israel. She was not a believer in the one true God, and her reign over northern Israel marked the introduction and spread of a false religion—worship of Baal. This religion quickly took hold because Jezebel became a role model for many women of her time. Her religion was rooted in the worship of Baal, or Satan, who is behind all false religions.

To please the queen was politically savvy, so she filled Israel with 850 priests practicing her religion, leading the people further astray. Jezebel’s impact was profound and deeply harmful, as she turned the nation away from the true God.

The Parallels Between Baal Worship and the New Age Movement

“The god of this age has blinded the minds of unbelievers, so that they cannot see the light of the gospel that displays the glory of Christ, who is the image of God.” ~ 2 Corinthians 4:4

Do you want to know what Jezebel’s religion was like? We are witnessing the rise of a similar, swift, and powerful religion sweeping the planet today—the New Age / Golden Age Movement. This belief system, like the false worship of Baal, denies the existence of a personal God who loves His people. Instead, it promotes an impersonal, universal energy force. In the New Age Movement, God can be referred to in many ways— she or he, mother or father, god or goddess, the Earth, the sun, the stars, or even nature itself can be worshipped as God. New Age teachers claim to receive guidance from so-called “spirit guides,” “ascended masters,” “masters of wisdom” “angels,” and “higher beings,” all of whom make up the hierarchy of this movement. They state that some of their guides are angels.

However, Jezebel’s priests, when confronted by the prophet Elijah, were exposed for their reliance on demonic forces – fallen angels, whilst practicing their false religion. Elijah challenged all 850 of them to prove the power of their gods, demonstrating that their supposed deities were powerless before the one true God. When they failed, the false nature of their religion was revealed, along with their demon guides posing as angels.

The New Age Movement bears striking similarities to Jezebel’s worship of Baal. For example, the New Age movement claims that Jesus Christ was merely a reincarnated messenger—not the Son of God. They assert that Christ was sent by the demon hierarchy of angels to provide “spiritually advanced revelations” to their group. In fact, they teach that Jesus is just one of many “Christs,” alongside figures like Buddha, Mohammed, and Confucius. This system accepts anyone who rejects Jesus Christ as the Son of God—whether they are Shintoists, Satanists, Buddhists, secular humanists, witches, or anyone else who doesn’t acknowledge the truth or accept the Christ, and that He is a personal God. They teach that man is not sinful, nor evil, and that Jesus’s sacrifice on the Cross has no meaning, according to them it was meaningless.

Moreover, the New Age Movement denies the existence of sin, judgment, and the need for salvation. Instead, it teaches that humanity has evolved over thousands of years and that there is no need for a savior. This philosophy is the basis of all false religions; rooted in ancient lies, echoing the deceptions of Satan, who hides the reality of judgment, hell, and sin, and all of his followers do the same, because they have been blinded to the truth. It’s no surprise that Jezebel’s actions—her cheating, lying, and murder—were reflections of her allegiance to Satan, the father of lies. Her conscience was so seared with unbelief in the one true God that she had no fear of judgment, she never expected to meet a righteous and holy God one day, who will judge her for things done in the flesh, her thoughts, her deeds and her motives.

Modern Echoes: The Age of Aquarius

Today, the New Age Movement is spreading rapidly, with some even calling it the “Age of Aquarius.” Many people are drawn to its teachings, including secular humanists, witches, Satanists, and celebrities. One prominent TV and movie star has become a spokesperson for the movement, claiming to receive instructions from an ancient being, that tells her things and guides her. This celebrity, like Jezebel, serves as a role model for many, leading others into deception.

The New Age Movement teaches that being “born again” is simply a personal transformation or healing of the self. It says that you must “let go” and allow your “inner guide” or “higher self” to direct your life, without any belief or need for the Holy Spirit and Him indwelling you. They speak of something called “kundalini,” a Hindu term meaning “serpent power,” which has clear connections to Satan. This mimics spiritual experiences, but it is a counterfeit of true Christian transformational quality of the Holy Spirit.

Satan, as always, has counterfeited the things of Jesus Christ and Christianity. The New Age Movement, much like the false prophets in Jezebel’s time, speaks of a “Christ-like” figure who will come to establish a utopian Kingdom of peace on Earth, that he will reign over the new age, bringing about a one world religion and consolidating all nations into one government. This is eerily similar to the Antichrist, who will deceive many and promise a one-world government and a counterfeit peace—something the Bible warns will happen before the true return of Jesus Christ.

Distinguishing Truth from Deception

In a nutshell, here is what the New Age Movement teaches:

• God is impersonal; He is not loving, He can be a he or she, but not the sovereign, holy, and righteous God of the Bible.

• Jesus is not the Son of God, not the Christ and someone greater than Jesus will come, not realising there will be an anti-Christ connected to Satan, who will try to imitate the Christ, as we have been forewarned in scriptures.

• There is no need for being born again, as they reject the Holy Spirit and encourage people to follow their demon guides.

• And about the 2nd coming of Jesus Christ that the anti-Christ will rule in Earth and Heaven is the Kingdom of God during the Age of Aquarius and that it is not a real place, but merely an Earthly utopia.

• There is no sin, judgment, evil or hell.

As believers in Christ, we know these claims are false. We have the truth from the Bible, which tells us that God is our loving Father, He is not a she or a goddess, but the supreme being. Jesus is His only begotten Son, the express image of the invisible God, and salvation comes through Him alone. The Holy Spirit, sent by the Father and the Son, dwells within us, guiding and empowering us to live according to God’s will. Heaven is a real, physical place where God the Father and God the Son reign in glory, and hell is a real and horrible place for those who reject the truth of the gospel. Through the Holy Spirit, we are assured of our salvation and strengthened in our faith as we await eternal life with God. He tells us that angels are messengers of God and named in scripture and He tells us to be born again, by the spirit of God by receiving Jesus as our personal Saviour.

A Call to Stand Firm in the Truth

Throughout history, God has warned His people about false religions. From Jezebel’s priests to the builders of the Tower of Babel, we have seen it through the ages. These instances of idolatry and rebellion against God serve as lessons for us today. Even in Noah’s time, when wickedness was rampant, God had to destroy the world with a flood. This, too, is a forewarning for us today. Jesus Himself tells us in Matthew 24 that when we see the same kinds of lawlessness and rebellion happening again, it is a sign that His return is near.

In Matthew 24:29-30, Jesus speaks of the signs preceding His second coming: “Immediately after the distress of those days, the sun will be darkened, and the moon will not give its light; the stars will fall from the sky, and the heavenly bodies will be shaken. Then will appear the sign of the Son of Man in heaven.”

We know that in the end times, false prophets will rise up to deceive even the elect (Matthew 24:24). Deception has led to destruction throughout the ages, and it will culminate in the final days before Jesus’ return. This New Age Movement, like its predecessors, may fade into the background only to be replaced by another. Yet, there is the real possibility that this movement could lead to the rise of the Antichrist, who will deceive many with promises of peace and a one-world government. Scripture warns us that the Antichrist will set up his rule on Earth, even establishing himself in Jerusalem and claiming to be the Christ (2 Thessalonians 2:3-4). However, we who know the Bible recognize this for the lie that it is.

Jesus warned: “If anyone tells you, ‘There he is, out in the wilderness,’ do not go out; or, ‘Here he is, in the inner rooms,’ do not believe it” (Matthew 24:26). His true return will not be secret or localized. We are told in 1 Thessalonians 4:16-17 that He will descend from heaven with a loud command, with the voice of the archangel, and with the trumpet call of God. The dead in Christ will rise first, and those who are still alive will be caught up to meet Him in the air. This event, known as the rapture, will take place in an instant, in the twinkling of an eye (1 Corinthians 15:52).

Jesus will gather His elect and take them to be with Him for seven years, during which time the Great Tribulation will unfold on Earth. After this period, He will return with His saints to establish His Kingdom on Earth and reign for a thousand years (Revelation 20:4-6). Unlike the false peace promised by the New Age Movement, this will be the true and lasting reign of the Prince of Peace.

We are warned in Scripture that the Antichrist will bring about a false peace and deceive many. Jesus Himself cautioned us against following these lies. We are also reminded of the lessons of history—Jezebel and her false prophets led Israel into idolatry, and the builders of the Tower of Babel sought to defy God’s sovereignty. These stories serve as warnings for us today. Wide is the gate that leads to destruction, but narrow is the gate that leads to life (Matthew 7:13-14).

As believers, we look forward to the Lord’s return. By God’s grace, we will not be caught up in the ecumenical movement or New Age ideologies that attempt to unify all religions and philosophies into one deceptive system. This “Age of Aquarius” promises enlightenment and unity but leads people to follow the Antichrist instead of Christ. The Bible is clear: there can be no lasting peace on Earth until Jesus Himself returns to set up His Kingdom.

We must stand firm in the truth, remembering Jesus’ words and promises. Let us choose the narrow path that leads to life. Choose wisely—choose Christ!

Conclusion: Lessons from Jezebel and the Bible

God’s sovereignty remains unshaken; He knows the beginning from the end. The warnings drawn from Jezebel’s life and scripture provide us with timeless clarity. As Ecclesiastes 1:9 reminds us, “There is nothing new under the sun.” Satan’s methods of deception have not changed, and false religions like the New Age / Golden Age Movement are modern manifestations of these ancient lies. These deceptions, cloaked in promises of enlightenment, peace, and unity, echo the spiritual rebellion seen in Jezebel’s time, the Tower of Babel, and countless other moments in history.

Even those movements that claim to acknowledge Christ often compromise truth, embracing all religions in the name of an ecumenical ‘unity and peace.’ This push toward a one-world religion is yet another ploy by Satan, setting the stage for the rise of the Antichrist, who will seek to establish his rule over a one-world government. Scripture warns us of this, and as believers, we are called to be vigilant.

Our anchor is the Word of God. We must remain grounded, discerning, and uncompromising in our faith. The false promises of movements like the New Age and the allure of unity at the expense of truth must be rejected. Instead, we fix our eyes on Christ, awaiting His glorious return when He will establish His eternal Kingdom—a Kingdom of true peace and righteousness.

Let us hold fast to God’s promises, stand firm in His truth, and keep our hearts prepared for the day when the Prince of Peace will reign forever.

The free gift of salvation

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“Nothing New Under the Sun” is adapted from Eleanor Page’s talk on ‘Jezebel’ in the ‘Women in the Bible’ series, broadcasted on BBN Radio / Photo by RDNE Stock at Pexels.

Christian Pre-Marital Counseling: A Comprehensive Guide 

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Christian pre-marital counseling is a thoughtful and intentional process that prepares engaged couples for a lifelong, Christ-centered marriage. It goes beyond mere relationship advice, offering a spiritual, emotional, and practical foundation for a covenant that mirrors God’s love. Through a series of guided sessions, couples explore important topics such as communication, finances, faith, intimacy, and future goals—ensuring they are well-equipped to build a strong, godly marriage before they exchange vows.

Historically, this kind of preparation was the norm in Christian communities. Churches and families understood the weight of the marriage covenant and made it a priority to equip couples spiritually, emotionally, and practically before marriage.

Today, in a world where romanticized love often takes center stage, pre-marital counseling serves as a much-needed reality check. It helps couples take off the rose-tinted glasses and honestly assess the lifelong journey they’re about to begin. Rather than assuming love is enough, it asks the deeper questions:

Are we truly compatible? Are we ready to walk through life’s highs and lows as one? Are we prepared to love sacrificially, forgive quickly, and grow together in Christ?

Done with humility and openness, Christian pre-marital counseling can transform your engagement from a season of planning a wedding into a sacred time of building a marriage—with God at the center.

Who Leads Pre-Marital Counseling?

Pre-marital counseling is often led by:

Church leaders (pastors, elders, marriage mentors) Licensed Christian counselors Certified marriage coaches or mentors

If your church doesn’t offer a program, many excellent Christian-based services are available both online and in person (see resource links at the end).

Key Topics Covered in Christian Pre-Marital Counseling

1. Faith & Spiritual Foundation

Marriage is a spiritual journey that should be rooted in Christ. Christian pre-marital counseling often begins with exploring your individual relationship with God and how that will shape your union. Couples should discuss biblical roles in marriage (Ephesians 5), the importance of prayer, worship, and spiritual disciplines as a couple, and how they will build their faith life together. For many, the question of how to raise children in the faith is an important conversation.

“Unless the Lord builds the house, the builders labor in vain.” – Psalm 127:1

2. Communication & Conflict Resolution

How you communicate and resolve conflict can make or break a marriage. Pre-marital counseling helps couples recognize their communication styles and learn how to listen actively, speak with grace, and resolve conflicts in a healthy way. It also involves addressing common toxic patterns, such as passive-aggressive behavior, silence, and sarcasm. Couples should be equipped to handle disagreements with respect and humility, using biblical principles like Matthew 18 as a guide for resolving conflict.

“Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry.” – James 1:19

3. Finances

Financial compatibility is a major area of focus. Couples need to discuss their spending and saving habits, budgeting, and how to handle debt, tithing, and long-term financial planning. Financial transparency is critical, as money is often a point of contention in marriages. Pre-marital counseling offers the space to set financial goals and discuss how to manage money as a team.

“The borrower is slave to the lender.” – Proverbs 22:7

4. Life Goals & Expectations

Where do you see yourselves in 5 or 10 years? Couples should talk through their career paths, education goals, family plans, and lifestyle expectations—including housing, travel, and retirement. Discussing these details ensures that both partners have aligned visions for their future and understand each other’s dreams and ambitions.

5. Family Background & Boundaries

How does your upbringing influence your expectations of marriage? Exploring family dynamics helps couples identify patterns they want to repeat or break. An essential biblical principle is “leaving father and mother and cleaving to your wife” (Genesis 2:24). Establishing a new, independent family unit means setting boundaries with extended family and ensuring the marriage remains the central priority. Couples should also discuss how to manage family holidays and traditions while focusing on their own union.

6. Sex & Intimacy

Intimacy is an essential part of marriage. Pre-marital counseling offers couples a chance to discuss their views on sexual intimacy and the biblical view of the marriage bed (Hebrews 13:4). Couples will explore their emotional and physical expectations and consider how to protect their intimacy. It’s important to discuss love languages, emotional needs, and any past trauma that might affect intimacy in marriage. It is crucial to approach this topic wisely, focusing on creating a healthy and fulfilling intimate relationship in the present day. The emphasis should be on growing together in sexual unity, rather than measuring past histories or creating unnecessary friction, wisdom is required here.

“The two shall become one flesh.” – Genesis 2:24

7. Medical History & Health Awareness

Health plays a significant role in marriage. Couples should be open about their medical history, including any hereditary concerns like sickle cell or thalassemia. It’s also essential to discuss HIV/STI testing, mental health history, and chronic illnesses that may affect daily life or long-term plans. Being proactive in discussing health allows couples to make informed decisions together.

Core Questions to Ask Before Marriage

Spiritual Life

What does your walk with God look like? How will we grow spiritually as a couple? How will we decide on church involvement and spiritual leadership? How will we raise our children in the faith?

Communication & Conflict

What is your typical response in conflict? How do you express frustration or hurt? What makes you feel heard and valued? How do you forgive and move forward?

Finances

What is your current financial situation? How do you handle budgeting and spending? Are you comfortable with debt? What are your financial goals? Will we share bank accounts?

Life Goals

Where do you see yourself in 5 or 10 years? What are your views on career, family, and ministry? What would “success” in marriage look like to you? How do we support each other’s dreams?

Family Dynamics

What was your parents’ marriage like? What family habits do you want to keep or change? How involved will our families be in our lives? How will we manage holidays and family expectations?

Intimacy

What makes you feel emotionally and physically close? Are there any emotional wounds or concerns to work through? What are your boundaries and expectations in this area? How will we protect our intimacy in marriage?

Health & Wellness

Have you had any medical conditions that affect daily life? Are you aware of any hereditary illnesses or risks? Have you been tested for STIs? Are there any mental health concerns to discuss?

Conclusion

Christian pre-marital counseling is a powerful tool to help couples build a marriage that honors God. By addressing these critical topics early, couples can approach marriage with wisdom, understanding, and a shared vision. However, it’s important to remember that while words and promises are vital, actions speak louder than words. As you embark on this journey, take time to observe your partner’s actions and character. Anyone can say the right things, but true commitment, integrity, and compatibility are revealed in how a person lives and responds to challenges. People usually show you who they are—believe them the first time. Ensure that you are not just hearing what your partner says but also seeing how they act, as these actions will be what shape your marriage in the long term.

If your church does not offer a program, there are many Christian-based counseling services available, both online and in person. See the links below for resources:

USA Resources 🇺🇸

Christian Pre-Marital Counseling Online

Marriage and Family Ministry

Prepare/Enrich Marriage Counseling

UK Resources 🇬🇧

Marriage Foundation

Christian Marriage Counseling

The Marriage Course

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** Photo by Cottonbro Studio at Pexels

Marriage: A God-Ordained Ministry, Not a Fairy Tale

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Marriage is one of the most sacred and beautiful institutions created by God. It’s a relationship designed to reflect the love, commitment, and sacrifice seen in Christ’s relationship with the Church. However, marriage is not a fairy tale. It’s not about living in perpetual romance or expecting your spouse to fulfill all your emotional and spiritual needs. Marriage is about partnership, service, and walking through life together, supporting and loving each other.

1. Understanding What Marriage Really Is

Marriage isn’t a quick fix for personal issues, loneliness or dissatisfaction with life. It’s not about having a partner who will complete you in every sense. Only God can truly meet your deepest needs. This is one of the most crucial things to understand before stepping into marriage: a spouse is not your Savior. A healthy marriage doesn’t hinge on the idea that one person will make the other happy all the time. That’s an unrealistic burden to place on any human being, and it’s an unfair expectation to have of your spouse.

Marriage is about coming together to fulfill God’s purposes. It’s a partnership where both people are called to love, serve, and support each other, and above all, serve God. The Bible teaches that marriage is a reflection of Christ’s relationship with the Church (Ephesians 5:32). The goal is not personal happiness alone, but to glorify God through your relationship, sharing love, sacrifice, and growth together.

2. Marriage as a Ministry

In a biblical sense, ministry is about serving others to fulfill God’s plan. While the Bible doesn’t explicitly call marriage “ministry,” the concept is deeply embedded in its teachings. Marriage is God-ordained and meant to reflect His love and purposes. Both the husband and wife are called to serve one another and, in doing so, serve God’s kingdom.

Ephesians 5:25-33 compares the relationship between husband and wife to Christ’s love for the Church. Husbands are called to love their wives sacrificially, just as Christ loved the Church, while wives are called to respect and support their husbands. This mutual relationship shows that marriage is about serving one another, loving and honoring each other, and, ultimately, serving God.

Genesis 2:18 tells us that God created the woman to be a “helper” to the man. This does not suggest inferiority or subordination, but rather highlights a complementary role in which both spouses help, support, and serve each other. In this partnership, the wife is called to respect and submit to her husband’s leadership as he fulfills his God-given role (Ephesians 5:22-24), while the husband is called to lead her with selfless, sacrificial love (Ephesians 5:25-28). This mutual service and submission are not about dominance or control, but about working together to fulfill God’s purposes for their lives.

This makes marriage a ministry in the sense that both partners are working together to glorify God, reflect Christ’s love for the Church, and serve His kingdom. As both the husband and wife live out their roles in love, sacrifice, and respect, their relationship becomes a living testimony of God’s love and His redemptive work.

3. Coming into Marriage Emotionally and Spiritually Ready

Marriage is not the place to look for emotional fulfillment, healing from past wounds, or validation. While a spouse can provide support and encouragement, your primary source of identity and fulfillment must come from God. Before entering marriage, it’s important to be emotionally and spiritually secure in your relationship with God.

This doesn’t mean you have to be perfect, but it does mean you should be actively working on your relationship with God and striving for emotional maturity. Marriage isn’t about finding someone to “fix” you—it’s about two individuals, each grounded in Christ, coming together to serve one another and fulfill God’s purposes.

Practical Tip: Before entering into marriage, invest in your relationship with God. Spend time in prayer, study the Bible, and work on emotional maturity. Cultivate good habits for communication and conflict resolution. Be prepared to bring your best self into the relationship, knowing that your fulfillment ultimately comes from God.

4. The Reality of Roles and Expectations: Talking It Out

Before marriage, it’s crucial to have honest, open conversations about what you both expect in marriage. This goes beyond just the fun stuff like vacations and date nights—it involves discussing practical matters like finances, work, children, and household roles. Understanding each other’s expectations will help prevent misunderstandings later.

One area where many couples face tension is around roles in marriage, especially when it comes to work. Some men may want their wives to stay at home, while others may expect their wives to continue their careers. There’s no one-size-fits-all answer here. The key is clear communication and mutual respect.

If the wife wants to work but the husband prefers that she stays home, it’s important to have a respectful conversation about each person’s desires, financial needs, and long-term goals. The goal is to come to an understanding and make decisions together, ensuring that both spouses are happy and fulfilling their roles as partners in ministry.

Practical Tip: Before marriage, talk about your roles and expectations. Discuss finances, career goals, children, and household responsibilities. Clear communication will help prevent surprises and set you up for a healthy, cooperative partnership.

5. The Gift of Singleness vs. Marriage

It’s essential to recognize that both singleness and marriage are gifts from God. 1 Corinthians 7 teaches that some are called to singleness, which offers a unique opportunity to serve God without the responsibilities of marriage. But for others, marriage is God’s calling, and it provides the chance to glorify Him through companionship and mutual service.

You shouldn’t rush into marriage thinking it will fix loneliness or make you feel fulfilled in ways that are better left to God. Similarly, singles shouldn’t feel incomplete or less than because they’re not married. God has a perfect plan for everyone, whether that’s a season of singleness or a lifelong marriage.

Practical Tip: Embrace your current season, whether married or single. Trust that God has a purpose for you and will use either marriage or singleness to shape you and fulfill His plan.

6. Marriage: A Lifelong Journey of Service

Marriage is not just about personal happiness. It’s about serving one another and fulfilling God’s kingdom purposes together. This means that marriage involves sacrifice, service, and ministry. It’s not just about what you can get from the relationship, but what you can give. As a husband or wife, you’re called to love and serve your spouse selflessly, just as Christ loved the Church.

In marriage, both the husband and wife are helpers to each other (Genesis 2:18), fulfilling complementary roles that reflect God’s design. Marriage is meant to be a team effort, where both partners are committed to each other and to serving God together.

Practical Tip: Keep God at the center of your marriage. Your relationship is not just about you and your spouse—it’s about glorifying God. Look for ways to serve each other, pray together, and use your marriage as a platform to minister to others.

How God Prepares a Woman to Be a Godly Wife

Many women desire to be a godly wife to a godly man, but what does that actually mean? How does God prepare a woman for marriage in a way that aligns with His will? The truth is, preparation isn’t just about finding the right man—it’s about becoming the right woman. Before God entrusts someone with a marriage, He often takes them through a season of growth, refinement, and preparation.

Here are some key ways God prepares a woman to be a godly wife:

1. Strengthening Her Relationship with Him First

Before marriage, a woman’s first priority should be her relationship with God. A strong marriage requires a foundation in Christ, and that begins long before saying, “I do.”

Matthew 6:33 says, “But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.” God teaches a woman to depend on Him first, so she doesn’t expect a husband to fill a role only God can.

This season of preparation is about learning to trust, listen, and obey God, which will later help her support and encourage her husband spiritually.

2. Developing Her Character and Heart

Marriage is not just about romance—it’s about selflessness, patience, and grace. A woman who desires to be a godly wife must first allow God to shape her heart.

Proverbs 31:10-12 describes a virtuous woman as someone who brings good to her husband all the days of her life—not just after marriage. God often refines a woman’s patience, humility, and kindness through everyday life experiences, relationships, and even trials.

If a woman struggles with pride, impatience, or resentment, marriage will only magnify those issues. God prepares her by teaching her how to love, serve, and forgive before she ever steps into marriage.

3. Healing from Past Wounds and Finding Wholeness in Christ

Many people enter relationships hoping their partner will “fix” them or make them feel whole. But true wholeness comes from Christ, not a spouse.

Psalm 147:3 says, “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.” If a woman has past wounds from relationships, family struggles, or insecurities, God may take her through a healing process before leading her into marriage.

This might involve letting go of past hurts, setting healthy boundaries, and learning to see herself through God’s eyes. A healthy marriage is built on two whole individuals, not two broken people looking for completion in each other.

4. Teaching Her Wisdom and Discernment

Not every relationship is from God, and not every man is a godly man. A woman must learn to recognize the difference between a relationship that aligns with God’s will and one that only serves temporary desires.

Proverbs 4:7 says, “Wisdom is the principal thing; therefore get wisdom: and with all thy getting get understanding.” God often teaches discernment through past experiences, the guidance of His Word, and wise counsel from mentors or spiritual leaders.

This preparation helps her recognize a man who genuinely seeks after God rather than one who just plays the part.

5. Growing in Her Purpose and Calling

A woman is not just called to be a wife—she has her own God-given purpose. Before marriage, God may lead her to grow in her personal calling, whether that’s in ministry, career, or serving others.

Jeremiah 29:11 reminds us that God has a plan for each of us, even before marriage. A woman who walks confidently in her calling is more prepared to complement and support her future husband in his calling.

Marriage is about two people serving God together, not one person losing themselves in the other.

6. Learning the Skills Needed for a Godly Marriage

While love is important, practical skills are just as necessary for a strong marriage. God may prepare a woman by teaching her:

Communication skills – Knowing how to express thoughts and feelings in a way that builds, not breaks. Conflict resolution – Learning how to handle disagreements with grace and patience. Serving with love – A godly wife serves her family, not out of obligation, but out of love (Mark 10:45). Financial wisdom – Managing resources wisely to build a strong household (Proverbs 31:16-18).

These skills can be developed in everyday life, long before marriage, through friendships, work, and church involvement.

7. Trusting in God’s Timing

Perhaps the hardest part of preparation is waiting. Many women wonder, “When will it be my turn?” But God’s timing is always perfect.

Ecclesiastes 3:11 says, “He has made everything beautiful in its time.” Rushing into marriage out of impatience can lead to heartache, while waiting on God ensures His best.

In this waiting season, God teaches a woman to trust Him fully, finding joy and contentment in the present rather than worrying about the future.

Final Thoughts

Being prepared for marriage isn’t just about waiting for the right man—it’s about becoming the right woman. God’s process of preparation isn’t always easy, but it’s always purposeful. He strengthens faith, builds character, brings healing, teaches wisdom, and aligns a woman’s heart with His.

If marriage is in His plan, He will bring the right person at the right time. Until then, the best thing any woman can do is grow in her relationship with God, embrace the season she’s in, and trust that His plan is always better than her own.

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** Photo by Jonathan Borba at Pexels

The Modern-Day Concubine: From Placeholders to Pick-Me Chicks — The Hard Truth About Modern Love

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The History of Concubines and Modern Parallels

Throughout history, women have sought love, commitment, and security in their relationships. In ancient times, society drew clear lines between women who were chosen as wives and those who were simply kept around—often referred to as concubines. These women were close enough to benefit a man’s life but never secure enough to be protected by covenant. They were valued for access, availability, and usefulness, but they were never truly prioritized.

In modern terms, these women are often called pick-me chicks, pickmeishas, or Barbara the Builder—women who help construct a man’s life, confidence, and success while neglecting their own security. They remain loyal, supportive, emotionally available, and sexually accessible, believing their sacrifice will eventually earn commitment. Too often, they later discover he never planned to choose them. This is not bad luck or something that “just happened.” It is the result of choices—choosing comfort, attachment, or short-term pleasure over God’s design and boundaries.

God’s way has always been clear. Intimacy, cohabitation, and shared life were meant to happen within the covenant of marriage. These boundaries exist because God loves us and knows what protects us, not because He wants to withhold anything good. The world encourages women to give wife-level access without commitment and calls it love or growth. God calls His people to live differently. Jesus says in John 14.15, “If you love Me, you will obey Me.” Many women who claim Christianity knowingly cross these boundaries, exercising free will while choosing relationships over obedience to God—and this is how the modern-day concubine is formed.

Even in biblical times, concubines had certain protections. A man was expected to care for them, and they had legal recognition—though still held a lower status than a wife. But their futures were always uncertain, entirely dependent on the man’s goodwill. Hagar, who bore Abraham a son, was eventually cast out. Bilhah and Zilpah bore children for Jacob but were never truly honored like his wives. Solomon had hundreds of concubines—part of his household, but not part of his heart.

Convenience Over Commitment in Modern Relationships

These women were there for convenience, not commitment. That same dynamic plays out in modern relationships. A woman may devote years to a man—giving him loyalty, emotional support, even intimacy—hoping one day he’ll choose her as his wife. But all too often, he never does. Not because she isn’t worthy, but because he was never planning to.

Modern relationships often blur lines. A woman might find herself doing everything a wife does—supporting him through hard times, helping financially, being emotionally available, sharing her body—without ever receiving a true commitment in return. She believes her loyalty will eventually be rewarded. That if she just proves her love, he’ll see her worth and decide to marry her. But the painful truth is, most men don’t need years to decide. When a man is serious about a woman, he makes his intentions clear. When he’s not, he delays, distracts, and avoids.

Comfortable, Not Confused

It’s not that he’s confused—it’s that he’s comfortable. He’s benefiting from the relationship, so he sees no reason to change it. Many men will gladly take the emotional support, sexual access, companionship, and even financial help without offering anything long-term in return. That’s not love. That’s selfishness. It’s using someone’s time and heart while keeping her in a holding pattern.

Sometimes a man will give a woman an engagement ring not out of genuine intention, but simply to quiet her questions about the relationship. When a woman is confused and keeps asking about marriage or commitment, he uses the ring to “shut her up” and stop the pressure—without actually planning to follow through. Most of the time, the engagement goes no further. If a wedding does happen, it is often because circumstances forced him into it, or because he failed elsewhere—not because he genuinely intended to commit.

Meanwhile, he continues living comfortably, benefiting from her loyalty, emotional support, and willingness to tolerate bad behavior in order to keep him. The woman believes she is securing love and stability, but in reality, she has been strung along and used for convenience. This is exactly the pattern God’s boundaries are meant to protect women from: giving your devotion before it is truly earned leaves your heart vulnerable and your life unprotected.

A man who doesn’t see you as “the one” from the beginning is unlikely to suddenly change his mind after years of taking what he wants. He already knows—you’re just not the one he’s planning to marry.

Signs You’re a Placeholder

If you’re unsure where your relationship stands, pay careful attention to these patterns. Each is a strong signal that you may be giving wife-level commitment while he’s giving you only convenience.

1. Years together, marriage is always “someday.” Men who really intend to marry rarely need multiple years to decide; most make up their minds within the first twelve months or so. When the timeline keeps sliding—finances, career, “not ready”—he’s comfortable, not confused.

2. You’re kept on the edge of his life, not in the center. A man who sees a future with you naturally weaves you into it. If you still haven’t met family or close friends, or you’re left out of meaningful decisions, he’s keeping emotional and social distance for a reason.

3. You do everything a wife does—without the title or security. Cooking, cleaning, sharing bills, late-night emotional support, sexual intimacy—yet no clear plan for marriage. That’s not partnership; it’s a one-sided arrangement where he enjoys the benefits while you carry the risk.

4. Serious talk about marriage makes him vague or defensive. When a man wants a woman as his wife, he can talk about it openly. If he diverts, jokes, or offers fuzzy promises with no dates or steps attached, take the dodge at face value: he isn’t planning what you are.

5. After leaving you, he marries someone else quickly. This stings, but it’s common. Commitment was never the obstacle; finding the person he wanted to commit to was. His sudden readiness shows he always knew what he was looking for—he simply didn’t see it with you.

Your Value and God’s Way

If these signs sound familiar, your relationship may lack real intent. Love yourself enough to step back and make room for a man who will move toward you with clarity, not excuses.

You can’t earn someone’s desire to commit. You can’t force a man to value you by giving more, sacrificing more, or waiting longer. The more you give without receiving commitment, the more you teach him that you’ll tolerate uncertainty.

While not every man who delays is acting with malicious intent, many do know they have no plan to marry—and still keep the relationship going because it benefits them. That’s selfish.

You deserve more than to be someone’s “good enough for now.” You deserve intentional love. If a man truly sees you as his future, he won’t string you along. He won’t leave you guessing. His actions will speak. He will introduce you to the people who matter. He’ll talk about the future with you in it. He will lead with clarity, not confusion.

God’s Design and Protection

This is not only an emotional issue; it is a spiritual one. God’s design for love and marriage has never changed. Deep emotional and physical intimacy was meant to exist within the covering of commitment. These boundaries are not about shame or restriction—they are about protection. When women step outside of God’s design, they often experience heartbreak instead of fulfillment.

God gives free will, but free will does not remove consequences. Choosing a man over obedience, elevating relationships above righteousness, and ignoring God’s commands while claiming Christianity leads many women into the role of modern-day concubines—not by accident, but by choice. Obedience is the evidence of love for God, and God’s way will always be better than the world’s way.

You are not a placeholder. You are not a convenience. You are not meant to audition for marriage through sacrifice and compromise. You are a woman of value—meant to be pursued with intention, loved with integrity, and honored through commitment. Trust God’s timing. Honor His boundaries. The right man will not require disobedience to keep him—he will recognize the blessing you are and treat you accordingly from the very beginning.

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** Photo by Philip Justin Mamelic at Pexels

How Satan Uses Offense To Trap You

Published on by Editor

In life, we can’t avoid experiencing offense. However, the Bible does command us as believers to ensure we are not offending other people (Luke 17:1). How you deal with it when it comes–whether you take offense and let it become a demonic trap or use it as an opportunity to grow—is really up to you. 

What’s interesting is that the word “offense” used in the New Testament is scandalon. Scandalon was the trigger of a trap on which bait is placed. When an animal touched the trigger to eat the bait, the trap would spring shut and the animal would get caught. Offense works the same way. Whether the hurt was intentional or not makes no difference—the bait is laid, and if you take it, the trap springs shut, leading to unforgiveness and bitterness. Here is how offense looks and how to overcome it.

Offense is a stumbling block to your destiny. 

The Profile of an Offended Person

  1. Entitlement – An offended person feels like they are owed something. They value what they have in themselves and feel like they worked very hard and deserve to be elevated. When they don’t receive what they believe they deserve, they feel rejected and become offended.
  2. Pride – Pride makes people blind to their own flaws and causes them to blame others for their downfall. When corrected, they interpret it as, “I messed up again,” rather than seeing it as an opportunity for growth.
  3. Focus on Unfairness – Offended people often feel that church leaders and others treat them unfairly. They get hurt when their gifts are not recognized and build resentment. Many times, God allows perceived unfairness to test and refine our character.
  4. Control – Offended people often desire to control situations. When they cannot have things their way, they get offended and leave relationships or churches. If they had stayed under strong, anointed leadership that didn’t cater to their selfish ambitions, they would have received the healing they didn’t even realize they needed.

How to Overcome Offense

Offense focuses your attention on what people did rather than what God is doing. 

It blinds you to God’s timing and purpose, keeping you stuck in bitterness instead of moving forward in faith. Here’s how to overcome it.

1. When Your Heart is Hardened, Good Things Happening to You Will Not Change It

First off, it’s important to understand that people whose hearts are hardened by offense think that if their environment changes, they will no longer be offended. But, a hardened heart does not soften just because circumstances improve.

Psalm 95:7-11 and Hebrews repeat the warning: “When you hear my voice, do not harden your heart, as in the day of wilderness, when your fathers saw my works, yet they rebelled against me.” The Israelites saw miracles, yet they remained hardened in their hearts. Even with a great leader like Moses and supernatural provision, their offense remained.

2. Take God Very Seriously, and Stop Taking Yourself Too Seriously

Secondly, know that offended people are often obsessed with themselves. In many cases, they become overly sensitive to what others say but are not sensitive enough to the Holy Spirit. Instead of living in constant offense, we should humble ourselves, focus on God, and learn to live with a servant’s heart.

3. Keep Your Heart Right When Things Are Not Right

Another key step in overcoming offense is understanding that while justice, mercy, and humility are essential, the enemy uses injustice to create offense in our hearts. If things are not right around you, don’t let your heart become sick. You can advocate for change, but never let offense take root.

4. Never Grow Out of Repentance

Next, choose to offer forgiveness to those who have hurt you. I’ve noticed that if you wait too long to forgive, your hurt will turn into bitterness and offense. Unforgiveness will do more damage to you than what others did. Growth in God means constant repentance and humility.

Never outgrow your need for repentance.

5. Lean Into Awkward Conversations

And lastly, the Bible tells us in Matthew 5:23 that, “If you bring your gift to the altar and remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there and first be reconciled.”

In other words, if you know someone is offended at you, it is your responsibility to go to them. Instead of defending yourself, hear them out, affirm their feelings, and take responsibility where necessary. Many relationships have been healed through this approach. Unfortunately, instead of going to the person, people often gossip and build “us versus them” cultures, which only fuels division and offense.

Don’t let Satan trap you; instead, choose to walk away from offense, deny yourself, and follow Jesus. I pray this helps.

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**By Vlad Savchuk at Vladimir Savchuk Ministries / Photo by ClickerHappy at Pexels