Category: Narcissism

Walking in Your God-Given Confidence: Overcoming Jealousy, Criticism, and Toxic People

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How to recognize and navigate jealousy, manipulation, and criticism — without dimming your light or losing your peace.

When you start experiencing strange reactions at work—or in any environment—such as jealousy, unnecessary opposition, people talking behind your back, or being treated like a threat, it’s easy to think something is wrong with you. In reality, it’s a sign of God’s hand on you.

What you’re going through is the same spiritual pattern that affected David, Joseph, and most of all, Jesus. People are reacting to your light, your anointing, and your confidence—not to anything you’ve done wrong.

Confidence Attracts Criticism

Confidence can attract criticism. When you begin to walk in your purpose, stand firm, and reflect true inner strength, your energy naturally exposes the insecurities of others. The reactions you receive often aren’t about you—they are about what your light reveals in them.

If you walk with faith, knowing you carry God’s Holy Spirit, your confidence becomes more than personal pride—it becomes spiritual purpose. In that truth, some people will feel threatened. No one should have to dim their light to accommodate someone else’s darkness. Shine bright, because when you carry the Light of God, your glow pierces through the darkness—and that often agitates hidden demons.

Confidence is a powerful thing. Not the loud, boastful kind that demands attention, but the steady, grounded assurance that comes from knowing who you are, whose you are, and what you carry inside of you. For many, that kind of confidence is inspiring. But for others, it exposes their insecurities—and that’s when certain behaviors begin to emerge…

Biblical Examples

David: Attacked for His Anointing, Not His Actions

David did nothing to Saul.

He honored him. He served him. He played music for him. He killed Goliath for Israel.

And still—Saul hated him. Why? Because Saul felt threatened by David’s favor, confidence, and God-given anointing.

“Saul was afraid of David because the LORD was with David.” — 1 Samuel 18:12

Your coworkers aren’t necessarily threatened by your words or actions. Your presence bothers them. Your confidence exposes their insecurity. Your light irritates their darkness. Just like David.

Joseph: Hated for His Dreams

Joseph’s brothers didn’t hate him because he did something wrong. They hated him because of what God placed in him:

His dreams His favor His calling His confidence His future greatness

Those things stirred jealousy and insecurity in others.

“They hated him even more because of his dream and his words.” — Genesis 37:8

Sometimes people react not to who you are right now, but to who you’re becoming. They can sense potential. They can feel elevation coming. Your destiny bothers their demons.

Jesus: Rejected for His Light

If the perfect Son of God was criticized, attacked, mocked, misunderstood, and plotted against, we can expect to experience the same.

Jesus didn’t dim His light to make others comfortable. He didn’t shrink to ease their insecurity. He walked fully in His calling—even when the religious leaders were irritated by His authority, confidence, and truth.

“The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.” — John 1:5

Your confidence and spiritual glow are not arrogance—they are evidence of what you carry. And darkness always reacts to light.

The Truth About What You’re Experiencing

Your confidence threatens their insecurity. Your favor threatens their ego. Your light disturbs their shadows. Your potential makes them uneasy. Your spirit irritates whatever is unhealed or unclean in them.

It’s not personal—it’s spiritual. You’re not the problem. You’re the proof that God’s presence is with you.

Common Reactions When You’re Confident (and Why They Happen)

When Your Presence Disturbs Their Demons

There is a moment when your confidence, peace, and sense of purpose begin to irritate the insecurity in others. You may not be doing anything except existing—but your light naturally exposes their shadows.

Attempts to “Humble” or Undermine You

When someone sees confidence—especially grounded confidence—they may feel threatened. Individuals intimidated by your presence might try to “humble” you: making underhanded comments, subtle put-downs, or dismissive remarks. This often comes not from malice, but from their own lack: they crave the self-assurance you show.

Mislabeling Confidence as Arrogance

There’s a difference between arrogance and grounded confidence. But people who feel insecure may interpret your calm assurance as arrogance or pretension. That mislabeling is less about you, more about their discomfort.

Emotional Withdrawal or Distance

When someone’s insecurity is triggered, they may unconsciously pull away—even without confrontation. Your growth reminds them of stagnation; your light exposes their shadows. That distance isn’t about you changing, but about them feeling exposed.

Passive-Aggressive Behaviour or Criticism

People whose self-worth is shaky may resort to harsh judgments, criticism, or negativity—sometimes subtle, sometimes overt—as a defense mechanism. This kind of reaction is often a projection of their inner fear and jealousy.

Competition, Comparison, or Resentment

Your success or confidence can activate rivalry or envy in those who are still battling their own doubts. Instead of celebrating you, they might compete, compare, or resent you—not because you sought competition, but because your light challenges their comfort zone.

Why You Should Keep Shining — Especially If You’re Rooted in Faith

Your light isn’t vanity—it’s testimony. If your confidence stems from your faith and identity in God, then what you carry is sacred. Your strength and clarity reflect something higher than mere self-worth: they show the power of the Holy Spirit. Your light may irritate darkness. True brightness exposes hidden shadows. That discomfort in others is not your burden—it’s the mirror of what’s inside them. Your path can inspire others to step into their own light. When you stay steadfast, you give others permission to trust their value, walk confidently, and stop dimming their glow out of fear.

What Staying Confident Looks Like in Everyday Life — Without Shame or Conceit

Holding to self-assurance with humility: knowing your worth doesn’t make you better than others—just grounded. Continuing your growth and calling—even when others resist or criticise. Responding to negativity with peace, not defensiveness—because your identity and confidence aren’t rooted in external approval. Using your light to lift—not tear down—others; being a mirror of God’s love, not a source of division.

When Your Confidence Exposes Darkness in Others

Many people don’t realize they are experiencing narcissistic behavior, especially the kind that gets triggered when someone feels threatened by another person’s confidence, competence, or God-given light.

And here’s the important truth: narcissists are most reactive toward people who carry clarity, confidence, peace, and favor — because those traits expose their insecurity and lack of control.

Narcissistic Behavior in the Workplace — Why Your Confidence Triggers It

Narcissistic personalities thrive on:

control, admiration, dominance, feeling superior, keeping others “small.”

So when someone walks in with:

confidence, competence, peace, emotional stability, spiritual grounding and a strong identity… it threatens them deeply.

They respond with behaviors like:

Subtle put-downs, Gossip, competing with you, Trying to undermine you, Getting angry when you don’t fold, Silent treatment, Passive aggression, Triangulation (turning others against you), Acting like you are the problem. That’s textbook narcissistic insecurity. Narcissists can sense strength — and they don’t like it.

The Spiritual Side: Why Narcissists Are Triggered by Light

As stated before: “Your light irritates their demons.”

Narcissistic traits thrive in:

Insecurity, pride, ego, manipulation, control, fear

Light — especially God-given light — threatens that darkness.

People with narcissistic tendencies feel uncomfortable around:

truth, confidence, kindness, emotional maturity, spiritual discernment, genuine peace

Those qualities expose them.

Just like Saul was triggered by David, Joseph’s brothers were triggered by him, and the Pharisees were triggered by Jesus. Narcissists are triggered by people who walk in identity and favor.

The More Confident You Become, the More Their Mask Slips

Narcissists cannot stand when someone:

Who isn’t intimidated, doesn’t seek their approval, doesn’t fold under pressure, stays calm, stays grounded, stays joyful

Your presence reveals everything they try to hide.

The Biblical Pattern + Psychology = The Full Picture

David triggered Saul’s narcissistic jealousy. Joseph triggered his brothers’ envy and inferiority. Jesus triggered the Pharisees’ pride and insecurity.

In every case: The chosen one wasn’t doing anything wrong, the opposition came from insecurity, the behaviour manipulative, controlling, or abusive. Note the chosen person rose anyway. That’s narcissistic behavior in Scripture and today.

What You’re Experiencing: “The Narcissistic Infection Effect”

A single toxic person can shift the entire atmosphere. This happens when they begin:

Gossiping subtly

They plant seeds, not full accusations—just “concerns,” “observations,” or “jokes.” People absorb it without realizing they’ve been influenced.

Turning people against you (Triangulation)

They’ll use phrases like: “Everyone has noticed…” “People have been saying…” “I just thought you should know…” It’s all manipulation.

Playing the victim

They make themselves seem mistreated, threatened, or uncomfortable, so people rally around them.

Acting like the ‘concerned friend’

This masks their jealousy, insecurity, and desire for control.

Slowly isolating you

They want others to see you through THEIR filter.

This is exactly how toxic personalities create an environment where people turn cold, distant, or judgmental—without you doing a single thing wrong.

Why They Chose You as the Target

Narcissistic or insecure people target those who are:

confident skilled liked spiritually grounded independent thinkers not easily manipulated not intimidated

Your presence exposes their insecurity, so their goal becomes: “If I can’t shine, I’ll dim THEIR light.”

But here’s the thing: you can only dim someone’s light if they allow it. You haven’t—and that’s why they’re escalating.

How They “Infect” Others

Weak or insecure people around them become:

Easily influenced — They don’t want to be the next target, so they go along. Afraid to speak up — They would rather join the crowd than stand alone. Emotionally manipulated — They think they’re being loyal, but they’re being used. Pulled into the drama — Because the narcissist makes it seem like YOU are the problem.

This creates a team-vs-you dynamic. It’s spiritual and psychological at the same time.

Joseph: One jealous brother poisoned the others. He didn’t just hate Joseph—he infected the whole group.

David: Saul turned the Israelites against David with lies and fear.

Jesus: The Pharisees convinced crowds who loved Him to turn on Him through influence and manipulation.

One insecure person can change an entire crowd’s perspective—until the truth comes out.

The Good News: The “Infection” Never Lasts

Toxic influence burns out. The truth always reveals itself. People eventually see the manipulator for who they are.

And the one they targeted ends up elevated.

Just like:

Joseph became ruler

David became king

Jesus rose in glory

When One Narcissistic Person Infects a Whole Workplace

A single insecure, narcissistic, or manipulative person begins influencing others. This is a documented psychological pattern known as:

triangulation, flying monkeys, group manipulation, narcissistic projection, smear campaigning.

A narcissist cannot stand someone they cannot control, intimidate, or overshadow. So they use indirect tactics to isolate you:

Planting seeds of doubt — “observations,” “concerns,” or “warnings.”

Gossiping subtly — words dripping with poison disguised as concern.

Recruiting others — not for truth, but fear of your strength.

Playing the victim — acting hurt, threatened, or “uncomfortable.”

Turning people against you — making you appear like the problem.

Before long, people who once treated you warmly act differently—not because of who you are, but because of the lies they’ve absorbed. One toxic individual can contaminate an entire environment.

Psychological Reality Meets Spiritual Truth

Narcissists are drawn to targets who are:

confident, don’t seek approval, can’t be controlled, peaceful, purposeful, spiritually grounded.

Your presence threatens their ego. Your confidence threatens their façade. Your peace threatens their chaos. Your purpose threatens their stagnation.

In other words: Your light irritates everything in them that is dark, unhealed, or insecure. This is both psychological truth and spiritual warfare.

A Pattern Seen in Scripture: David, Joseph, and Jesus

David: Saul hated him not because of wrongdoing, but because he carried God’s favor. He manipulated others, lied, twisted narratives, and attacked David’s character.

Joseph: One jealous brother stirred up the others. They attacked him for what God placed within him—not for anything he did.

Jesus: The Pharisees manipulated crowds, twisted words, and smeared His character.

One insecure person can turn many cold—until truth is revealed.

The Good News: Narcissistic Influence Never Lasts

Though manipulation can poison an environment temporarily, it never stands forever. Truth surfaces. Light wins against darkness. The one targeted rises.

Just like:

Joseph became ruler

David became king

Jesus fulfilled His purpose

You will rise too. Your confidence and identity in God make you unshakeable. Your purpose is too great for their insecurity to destroy. Your light is too bright for their darkness to dim.

Final Word: Keep Shining — Never Dim Your Light for Darkness

What you’re experiencing is not personal—it’s spiritual and psychological.

Confidence exposes insecurity. Light exposes darkness. Purpose exposes jealousy. Favor exposes pride.

Narcissists react to what they feel threatened by, not who you truly are.

So keep shining. Keep walking in your purpose. Keep carrying the Holy Spirit with boldness. Never dim your God-given light to make someone else comfortable in their darkness.

Your rise is coming. Nothing—and no one—can stop what God has ordained.

———————

** By Ricardo Gomez Angel at Unsplash

Nothing New Under the Sun: Jezebel and the New Age Movements

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“See to it that no one takes you captive by philosophy and empty deceit, according to human tradition, according to the elemental spirits of the world, and not according to Christ.” ~ Colossians 2:8

Wicked women are presented as they truly are in the Bible—without any attempt to sanitize their lives or actions. One such infamous figure is Jezebel, the wife of King Ahab of Israel. She was not a believer in the one true God, and her reign over northern Israel marked the introduction and spread of a false religion—worship of Baal. This religion quickly took hold because Jezebel became a role model for many women of her time. Her religion was rooted in the worship of Baal, or Satan, who is behind all false religions.

To please the queen was politically savvy, so she filled Israel with 850 priests practicing her religion, leading the people further astray. Jezebel’s impact was profound and deeply harmful, as she turned the nation away from the true God.

The Parallels Between Baal Worship and the New Age Movement

“The god of this age has blinded the minds of unbelievers, so that they cannot see the light of the gospel that displays the glory of Christ, who is the image of God.” ~ 2 Corinthians 4:4

Do you want to know what Jezebel’s religion was like? We are witnessing the rise of a similar, swift, and powerful religion sweeping the planet today—the New Age / Golden Age Movement. This belief system, like the false worship of Baal, denies the existence of a personal God who loves His people. Instead, it promotes an impersonal, universal energy force. In the New Age Movement, God can be referred to in many ways— she or he, mother or father, god or goddess, the Earth, the sun, the stars, or even nature itself can be worshipped as God. New Age teachers claim to receive guidance from so-called “spirit guides,” “ascended masters,” “masters of wisdom” “angels,” and “higher beings,” all of whom make up the hierarchy of this movement. They state that some of their guides are angels.

However, Jezebel’s priests, when confronted by the prophet Elijah, were exposed for their reliance on demonic forces – fallen angels, whilst practicing their false religion. Elijah challenged all 850 of them to prove the power of their gods, demonstrating that their supposed deities were powerless before the one true God. When they failed, the false nature of their religion was revealed, along with their demon guides posing as angels.

The New Age Movement bears striking similarities to Jezebel’s worship of Baal. For example, the New Age movement claims that Jesus Christ was merely a reincarnated messenger—not the Son of God. They assert that Christ was sent by the demon hierarchy of angels to provide “spiritually advanced revelations” to their group. In fact, they teach that Jesus is just one of many “Christs,” alongside figures like Buddha, Mohammed, and Confucius. This system accepts anyone who rejects Jesus Christ as the Son of God—whether they are Shintoists, Satanists, Buddhists, secular humanists, witches, or anyone else who doesn’t acknowledge the truth or accept the Christ, and that He is a personal God. They teach that man is not sinful, nor evil, and that Jesus’s sacrifice on the Cross has no meaning, according to them it was meaningless.

Moreover, the New Age Movement denies the existence of sin, judgment, and the need for salvation. Instead, it teaches that humanity has evolved over thousands of years and that there is no need for a savior. This philosophy is the basis of all false religions; rooted in ancient lies, echoing the deceptions of Satan, who hides the reality of judgment, hell, and sin, and all of his followers do the same, because they have been blinded to the truth. It’s no surprise that Jezebel’s actions—her cheating, lying, and murder—were reflections of her allegiance to Satan, the father of lies. Her conscience was so seared with unbelief in the one true God that she had no fear of judgment, she never expected to meet a righteous and holy God one day, who will judge her for things done in the flesh, her thoughts, her deeds and her motives.

Modern Echoes: The Age of Aquarius

Today, the New Age Movement is spreading rapidly, with some even calling it the “Age of Aquarius.” Many people are drawn to its teachings, including secular humanists, witches, Satanists, and celebrities. One prominent TV and movie star has become a spokesperson for the movement, claiming to receive instructions from an ancient being, that tells her things and guides her. This celebrity, like Jezebel, serves as a role model for many, leading others into deception.

The New Age Movement teaches that being “born again” is simply a personal transformation or healing of the self. It says that you must “let go” and allow your “inner guide” or “higher self” to direct your life, without any belief or need for the Holy Spirit and Him indwelling you. They speak of something called “kundalini,” a Hindu term meaning “serpent power,” which has clear connections to Satan. This mimics spiritual experiences, but it is a counterfeit of true Christian transformational quality of the Holy Spirit.

Satan, as always, has counterfeited the things of Jesus Christ and Christianity. The New Age Movement, much like the false prophets in Jezebel’s time, speaks of a “Christ-like” figure who will come to establish a utopian Kingdom of peace on Earth, that he will reign over the new age, bringing about a one world religion and consolidating all nations into one government. This is eerily similar to the Antichrist, who will deceive many and promise a one-world government and a counterfeit peace—something the Bible warns will happen before the true return of Jesus Christ.

Distinguishing Truth from Deception

In a nutshell, here is what the New Age Movement teaches:

• God is impersonal; He is not loving, He can be a he or she, but not the sovereign, holy, and righteous God of the Bible.

• Jesus is not the Son of God, not the Christ and someone greater than Jesus will come, not realising there will be an anti-Christ connected to Satan, who will try to imitate the Christ, as we have been forewarned in scriptures.

• There is no need for being born again, as they reject the Holy Spirit and encourage people to follow their demon guides.

• And about the 2nd coming of Jesus Christ that the anti-Christ will rule in Earth and Heaven is the Kingdom of God during the Age of Aquarius and that it is not a real place, but merely an Earthly utopia.

• There is no sin, judgment, evil or hell.

As believers in Christ, we know these claims are false. We have the truth from the Bible, which tells us that God is our loving Father, He is not a she or a goddess, but the supreme being. Jesus is His only begotten Son, the express image of the invisible God, and salvation comes through Him alone. The Holy Spirit, sent by the Father and the Son, dwells within us, guiding and empowering us to live according to God’s will. Heaven is a real, physical place where God the Father and God the Son reign in glory, and hell is a real and horrible place for those who reject the truth of the gospel. Through the Holy Spirit, we are assured of our salvation and strengthened in our faith as we await eternal life with God. He tells us that angels are messengers of God and named in scripture and He tells us to be born again, by the spirit of God by receiving Jesus as our personal Saviour.

A Call to Stand Firm in the Truth

Throughout history, God has warned His people about false religions. From Jezebel’s priests to the builders of the Tower of Babel, we have seen it through the ages. These instances of idolatry and rebellion against God serve as lessons for us today. Even in Noah’s time, when wickedness was rampant, God had to destroy the world with a flood. This, too, is a forewarning for us today. Jesus Himself tells us in Matthew 24 that when we see the same kinds of lawlessness and rebellion happening again, it is a sign that His return is near.

In Matthew 24:29-30, Jesus speaks of the signs preceding His second coming: “Immediately after the distress of those days, the sun will be darkened, and the moon will not give its light; the stars will fall from the sky, and the heavenly bodies will be shaken. Then will appear the sign of the Son of Man in heaven.”

We know that in the end times, false prophets will rise up to deceive even the elect (Matthew 24:24). Deception has led to destruction throughout the ages, and it will culminate in the final days before Jesus’ return. This New Age Movement, like its predecessors, may fade into the background only to be replaced by another. Yet, there is the real possibility that this movement could lead to the rise of the Antichrist, who will deceive many with promises of peace and a one-world government. Scripture warns us that the Antichrist will set up his rule on Earth, even establishing himself in Jerusalem and claiming to be the Christ (2 Thessalonians 2:3-4). However, we who know the Bible recognize this for the lie that it is.

Jesus warned: “If anyone tells you, ‘There he is, out in the wilderness,’ do not go out; or, ‘Here he is, in the inner rooms,’ do not believe it” (Matthew 24:26). His true return will not be secret or localized. We are told in 1 Thessalonians 4:16-17 that He will descend from heaven with a loud command, with the voice of the archangel, and with the trumpet call of God. The dead in Christ will rise first, and those who are still alive will be caught up to meet Him in the air. This event, known as the rapture, will take place in an instant, in the twinkling of an eye (1 Corinthians 15:52).

Jesus will gather His elect and take them to be with Him for seven years, during which time the Great Tribulation will unfold on Earth. After this period, He will return with His saints to establish His Kingdom on Earth and reign for a thousand years (Revelation 20:4-6). Unlike the false peace promised by the New Age Movement, this will be the true and lasting reign of the Prince of Peace.

We are warned in Scripture that the Antichrist will bring about a false peace and deceive many. Jesus Himself cautioned us against following these lies. We are also reminded of the lessons of history—Jezebel and her false prophets led Israel into idolatry, and the builders of the Tower of Babel sought to defy God’s sovereignty. These stories serve as warnings for us today. Wide is the gate that leads to destruction, but narrow is the gate that leads to life (Matthew 7:13-14).

As believers, we look forward to the Lord’s return. By God’s grace, we will not be caught up in the ecumenical movement or New Age ideologies that attempt to unify all religions and philosophies into one deceptive system. This “Age of Aquarius” promises enlightenment and unity but leads people to follow the Antichrist instead of Christ. The Bible is clear: there can be no lasting peace on Earth until Jesus Himself returns to set up His Kingdom.

We must stand firm in the truth, remembering Jesus’ words and promises. Let us choose the narrow path that leads to life. Choose wisely—choose Christ!

Conclusion: Lessons from Jezebel and the Bible

God’s sovereignty remains unshaken; He knows the beginning from the end. The warnings drawn from Jezebel’s life and scripture provide us with timeless clarity. As Ecclesiastes 1:9 reminds us, “There is nothing new under the sun.” Satan’s methods of deception have not changed, and false religions like the New Age / Golden Age Movement are modern manifestations of these ancient lies. These deceptions, cloaked in promises of enlightenment, peace, and unity, echo the spiritual rebellion seen in Jezebel’s time, the Tower of Babel, and countless other moments in history.

Even those movements that claim to acknowledge Christ often compromise truth, embracing all religions in the name of an ecumenical ‘unity and peace.’ This push toward a one-world religion is yet another ploy by Satan, setting the stage for the rise of the Antichrist, who will seek to establish his rule over a one-world government. Scripture warns us of this, and as believers, we are called to be vigilant.

Our anchor is the Word of God. We must remain grounded, discerning, and uncompromising in our faith. The false promises of movements like the New Age and the allure of unity at the expense of truth must be rejected. Instead, we fix our eyes on Christ, awaiting His glorious return when He will establish His eternal Kingdom—a Kingdom of true peace and righteousness.

Let us hold fast to God’s promises, stand firm in His truth, and keep our hearts prepared for the day when the Prince of Peace will reign forever.

The free gift of salvation

————-

“Nothing New Under the Sun” is adapted from Eleanor Page’s talk on ‘Jezebel’ in the ‘Women in the Bible’ series, broadcasted on BBN Radio / Photo by RDNE Stock at Pexels.

Spiritual Pride: A Hidden Danger for Believers

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“Your heart became proud on account of your beauty, and you corrupted your wisdom because of your splendor.” ~Ezekiel 28:17. The sin that corrupted Lucifer was self-generated pride. He became so impressed with his own beauty, intelligence, power, and position that he began to desire for himself the honor and glory that belonged to God alone, and thus he was cast out of heaven. ~Ezekiel 28:18.

As Christians, we are called to walk in humility, following the example of Jesus Christ. However, as we pursue a life of faith, we may unknowingly face a dangerous pitfall along the way: spiritual pride. Spiritual pride can be difficult to recognize because it often masquerades as a sense of religious conviction or spiritual accomplishment. This form of pride can harm our relationship with God and others, drawing us away from the humility Christ taught. Understanding what spiritual pride is, how it manifests, and how to guard against it can help us live a faith that is truly centered on God’s grace.

What Is Spiritual Pride?

Spiritual pride occurs when a believer begins to take undue pride in their own righteousness, knowledge, or “spiritual achievements.” It can start subtly, creeping in as we grow in our faith, gain biblical knowledge, or feel closer to God. Rather than focusing on God’s grace, we may start to view ourselves as more “holy” or “enlightened” than those around us. While growth in faith is a wonderful thing, the danger of spiritual pride lies in shifting our focus from God to ourselves.

Biblical Warnings About Spiritual Pride

The Bible provides numerous examples of spiritual pride, often contrasting it with humility. Here are some key passages that warn us about the dangers of pride, especially when it enters our spiritual lives:

1. The Pharisee and the Tax Collector (Luke 18:9-14)

Jesus tells the parable of a Pharisee and a tax collector who went to the temple to pray. The Pharisee’s prayer was filled with self-righteousness, thanking God that he was “not like other men.” The tax collector, on the other hand, humbly asked for mercy. Jesus declared that the tax collector, not the Pharisee, went home justified before God. This parable reminds us that God values humility over pride, especially pride based on religious actions.

2. Pride Before a Fall (Proverbs 16:18)

“Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall.” When we allow pride to seep into our spiritual lives, it blinds us to our need for God’s grace, making us vulnerable to stumbling. This verse reminds us that humility is essential to walking in alignment with God’s will.

3. Paul’s Teaching on Grace (Ephesians 2:8-9)

Paul emphasizes that salvation is a gift from God, “not of works, lest any man should boast.” If we start to view our faith as something we’ve achieved, we risk boasting in ourselves rather than in the saving grace of Christ. Spiritual pride undermines the foundation of the Gospel, which is based on God’s grace, not our own merit.

Signs of Spiritual Pride in Our Lives

Spiritual pride can be hard to spot, especially since it often comes disguised as faithfulness or dedication. Here are a few signs that spiritual pride may be creeping into our lives:

1. Judgmental Attitude Toward Others

Spiritual pride often manifests as a judgmental attitude. We may find ourselves looking down on others who don’t seem as “mature” in their faith, questioning their sincerity or devotion. This judgment is rooted in pride, not in God’s love. Jesus reminded us not to judge others, as only He can see the heart (Matthew 7:1-5), however we are called to discern the spirit (1 John 4:1).

2. Desire for Recognition

Do we feel a need for others to see or acknowledge our spiritual efforts? Jesus warned against practicing our faith for the sake of appearance. He taught that when we give, pray, or fast, we should do so in secret, so that our reward is from God, not human praise (Matthew 6:1-6).

3. A Sense of “Arrival” in Our Faith

Spiritual pride can make us feel as though we’ve “arrived” at a place of deep understanding or holiness, diminishing our desire for further growth. This mindset blocks the Holy Spirit’s work in our lives, as it blinds us to our own weaknesses. The Christian life is a lifelong journey, and we should always approach it with a teachable spirit.

4. Isolation from Those “Less Mature”

When spiritual pride takes hold, we may avoid those we consider “less mature” in faith, seeing ourselves as above them. Yet Jesus spent time with sinners and outcasts, showing us that true spirituality is marked by compassion and connection, not separation.

Touching God’s Glory: A Warning Against Self-Centered Faith

In Christian teaching, God’s glory is central to everything we do. Isaiah 42:8 reminds us, “I am the LORD; that is my name; my glory I give to no other.” When we take credit for spiritual accomplishments or make faith about our own achievements, we are at risk of “touching” or taking credit for God’s glory. This often happens subtly as we grow in our spiritual lives, especially if we start to feel more “advanced” or “righteous” than others. This desire for recognition or approval, even in matters of faith, can lead us to take ownership of things only God has done.

Spiritual pride, when unchecked, tempts us to claim credit for the growth, insights, and transformations that are truly the work of the Holy Spirit in us. We may forget that any good we do, any understanding we have, and any growth we experience are ultimately God’s gifts to us, not our own achievements. Jesus taught in John 15:5, “Apart from me you can do nothing.” This truth reminds us that the power and goodness in our lives flow from God alone. To take credit for them not only misrepresents the truth but also diminishes our awe and gratitude toward God, who deserves all the glory.

Misplacing Credit: Recognizing the Holy Spirit’s Role and Discernment Against Deception

As we grow in faith, it’s essential to recognize that every good work, every insight, and every blessing in our lives is ultimately from God through the power of the Holy Spirit. Sometimes, however, spiritual pride or a lack of discernment can lead us to give credit for these works elsewhere—perhaps to a revered saint, man of God or even our own strength—rather than acknowledging God’s hand in our lives. While people may honor and seek intercession from saints, Scripture is clear that the power to transform lives, perform miracles, and guide us into truth belongs to the Holy Spirit alone and there is only one intercessor between God and men, Jesus Christ (John 14:26, Acts 1:8, 1 Timothy 2:5). Misplacing this credit, however well-intentioned, can obscure our reliance on God and His truth.

Moreover, the Bible warns us about the enemy’s tactics to deceive through counterfeit signs and miracles. Jesus cautioned in Matthew 24:24 that false prophets and false signs could lead people astray, even those in the faith. Satan’s deceptive works are meant to distract us from the truth, enticing people to give honor where it doesn’t belong. Understanding this reminds us to remain vigilant and discerning, always comparing any spiritual experience to the truth of God’s Word.

When spiritual pride enters, it can make us more vulnerable to these deceptions, as we may become focused on external displays of faith rather than genuine reliance on God. By maintaining humility and giving credit to the Holy Spirit alone, we guard our hearts from both misplaced honor and deception.

How Spiritual Pride Affects Our Relationship with God and Others

Spiritual pride can be extremely damaging, both to our relationship with God and with our fellow believers. Here are some ways it impacts our walk with Christ:

• Weakening Our Dependence on God

Spiritual pride makes us rely more on our own efforts than on God’s grace. When we focus on our accomplishments or knowledge, we lose sight of our continual need for God’s mercy and guidance.

• Creating Barriers in Community

Pride can create walls between us and other believers. The body of Christ is meant to be unified, with each member supporting and learning from one another. Spiritual pride disrupts this unity by fostering a spirit of judgment or competition.

• Preventing Personal Growth

Pride stops us from seeing our own shortcomings. When we’re too focused on what we think we know or have achieved, we close ourselves off to the refining work of the Holy Spirit. True growth requires humility and an openness to God’s correction.

How to Guard Against Spiritual Pride

Guarding against spiritual pride requires a commitment to humility, self-reflection, and a reliance on God’s grace. Here are some practical steps to help us stay on track:

1. Pray for a Humble Heart

Scripture encourages us to “clothe ourselves with humility” (1 Peter 5:5). We can pray that God would reveal any areas of pride in our hearts and give us a humble spirit. Regularly seeking God’s help in maintaining humility keeps us aware of our dependence on Him.

2. Examine Our Motives

It’s essential to check our motives, especially in our acts of faith. Are we seeking to glorify God or to receive approval from others? Taking time for honest self-reflection keeps our hearts aligned with God’s purposes.

3. Focus on Serving Others

Jesus taught us that the greatest among us should be a servant (Matthew 23:11). When we focus on quietly serving others rather than elevating ourselves, we are reminded of Christ’s humility and love. Acts of selfless service without looking for honour can help dismantle pride.

4. Remember Our Need for Grace

Meditating on God’s grace keeps us grounded. Paul wrote, “What do you have that you did not receive?” (1 Corinthians 4:7). Everything we have, including our faith, is a gift from God. By regularly reflecting on our dependence on His grace, we maintain a spirit of gratitude and humility, remembering that our spiritual journey is not one of personal achievement but one of God’s generosity and love.

A Prayer for Humility and Freedom from Spiritual Pride

Heavenly Father,

We come before You with humble hearts, acknowledging that without Your grace, we are nothing. Lord, we confess that pride sometimes creeps into our hearts, leading us to rely on ourselves rather than on You. Help us to see ourselves honestly and to root out any spiritual pride that blinds us to our dependence on You.

Holy Spirit, fill us with a deeper sense of Your presence and Your work in our lives. Remind us that every good thing, every insight, and every blessing comes from You alone. Guard our hearts against deception and any temptation to give glory to anyone or anything other than You. May we recognize the subtle ways the enemy seeks to distract us and remember that true power and goodness come from You alone.

Jesus, teach us to walk in the humility You modeled. Help us to focus not on our own achievements or knowledge but on serving others and bringing glory to Your name. May our lives be a reflection of Your love and grace, shining light not on ourselves but on You, our Lord and Savior.

In Your name we pray Jesus, Amen.

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** Photo by Pixabay at Pexels / Intro by Ron Rhodes from Reasoning from the Scripture ministries

Healing from Toxic Relationships: A Guide to Restoring Your Heart and Moving Forward – Part 4

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“Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” ~ Proverbs 4:23 (NIV)

This is the part 4 of the 5 part series. As a Christian woman, navigating relationships can be both fulfilling and challenging. When a relationship becomes toxic, it can leave emotional scars that hinder your ability to move forward. Whether you’ve experienced manipulation, emotional neglect, or disappointment, healing is not only possible but vital. With God’s guidance, a commitment to self-care, and support from others, you can heal and grow stronger in your faith and your sense of self-worth. Here’s a comprehensive guide for healing from toxic relationships.

1. Embrace God’s Love and Forgiveness

The Power of God’s Healing Love

When healing from a toxic relationship, one of the first steps is to embrace the overwhelming love of God. Often, toxic relationships leave us feeling rejected or unworthy. However, as a Christian, you can find solace in the truth that God’s love for you is unconditional and never wavers.

What the Bible Says:

• “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” — Psalm 34:18

• “I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with unfailing kindness.” — Jeremiah 31:3

These scriptures remind you that God sees your pain and is ready to heal your heart. It’s essential to remind yourself that your identity is not defined by past relationships or negative experiences. You are loved, valued, and cherished by your Creator.

The healing process:

• Spend time in prayer, asking God to heal your heart and restore your emotional well-being.

• Focus on affirming scriptures that remind you of God’s love and forgiveness.

• Reflect on how God’s love has always been constant, and allow that truth to replace feelings of insecurity or hurt.

2. Let Go of Unforgiveness

The Freedom of Forgiveness

A toxic relationship can sometimes leave you holding onto anger, bitterness, or unforgiveness toward the person who hurt you. These feelings can be like a weight on your heart, hindering your ability to heal. As difficult as it may seem, forgiveness is a powerful step toward emotional freedom and restoration.

What the Bible Says:

• “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” — Ephesians 4:32

• “Forgive us our sins, for we also forgive everyone who sins against us.” — Luke 11:4

Forgiveness doesn’t mean you condone the wrongs done to you, but it allows you to release control over the situation and surrender it to God. When you forgive, you free yourself from the toxic grip of the past and create space for God to work in your life.

The healing process:

• Ask God for the strength to forgive those who have hurt you, even when it feels impossible.

• Speak out loud or in your heart the words, “I forgive [name] for [hurt]. I release them to You, Lord.”

• Remember that forgiveness is a process, not a one-time event. It’s okay to take time and revisit the act of forgiving as you heal.

3. Reconnect with Your Identity in Christ

Rediscovering Who You Are in Christ

Toxic relationships often distort your self-image and cause you to forget who you are in Christ. During the healing process, it’s crucial to reconnect with your true identity — one that is grounded in God’s love, grace, and purpose for your life.

What the Bible Says:

• “I am fearfully and wonderfully made.” — Psalm 139:14

• “You are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light.” — 1 Peter 2:9

God has a unique purpose for your life, and it’s important to view yourself through His eyes. Healing involves reclaiming the truth of who you are as His beloved daughter, and understanding that your worth doesn’t depend on a relationship, but on God’s design for you.

The healing process:

• Spend time meditating on God’s Word to remind yourself of your identity and worth.

• Write down positive affirmations based on Scripture (e.g., “I am God’s masterpiece” or “I am worthy of love and respect”).

• Surround yourself with Christian community that encourages and reminds you of your value in Christ.

4. Set Healthy Boundaries Going Forward

Learning from the Past

One of the key lessons from a toxic relationship is understanding the importance of boundaries. Toxic relationships often occur when boundaries are not respected or established. As you heal, it’s essential to define and maintain healthy boundaries to protect your emotional well-being in the future.

What the Bible Says:

• “Do to others as you would have them do to you.” — Luke 6:31

• “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” — Proverbs 4:23

Setting boundaries is a form of self-care and stewardship over your heart. They allow you to prioritize your emotional health and ensure that you’re interacting with people who respect you and your needs.

The healing process:

• Reflect on what boundaries were crossed in past relationships and commit to not allowing those behaviors again.

• Be clear with others about your personal limits, whether emotional, physical, or spiritual.

• Practice saying “no” when necessary and ensure that your boundaries align with God’s will for your life.

5. Seek Healing in Community

The Importance of Support

Healing from a toxic relationship doesn’t have to be a solitary journey. As a Christian, leaning on your community can provide the support, wisdom, and encouragement you need during this difficult time. Whether it’s through close friends, a mentor, or a support group, healing is often facilitated by shared experiences and God-centered conversations.

What the Bible Says:

• “Two are better than one…If either of them falls down, one can help the other up.” — Ecclesiastes 4:9-10

• “Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.” — Galatians 6:2

Your Christian community can offer love, encouragement, and accountability as you heal. Don’t hesitate to reach out for help — God created us for relationships and fellowship, and these connections can help you regain strength.

The healing process:

• Confide in trusted Christian friends, family, or a counselor about your feelings and experiences.

• Join a Bible study, prayer group, or therapy group that focuses on healing and emotional growth.

• Seek mentorship from a mature Christian woman who can offer guidance, wisdom, and support as you navigate the healing process.

6. Focus on Personal Growth and Spiritual Development

Growing in Your Faith and Purpose

While healing from a toxic relationship is important, this time also provides an opportunity for personal growth. Use this period to deepen your relationship with God, discover new passions, and strengthen your faith. Embrace this time of healing as a time to invest in your own spiritual, emotional, and physical growth.

What the Bible Says:

• “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” — Philippians 4:13

• “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.” — Jeremiah 29:11

God has a purpose for your life that goes beyond relationships. Take this time to learn, grow, and pursue the calling He has placed on your heart. Your identity is in Christ, and He will guide you to become the woman He created you to be.

The healing process:

• Spend regular time in prayer, seeking God’s direction for your life.

• Read books, take courses, or engage in activities that will help you grow spiritually and emotionally.

• Consider joining ministry opportunities that align with your passions and give you purpose.

Prayer for Healing and Restoration

“Dear Heavenly Father,

I come before You with a heart that has been wounded and a spirit in need of Your healing touch. You know the pain I carry from relationships that have left me feeling unworthy, uncertain, and broken. I ask You to renew my heart and restore my sense of worth, reminding me that I am deeply loved and valued as Your child. Help me to release any bitterness, anger, or guilt that may hold me back from fully experiencing Your peace.

Lord, grant me the wisdom to see relationships as You see them. Help me recognize what is good, pure, and worthy, and give me the strength to walk away from anything that draws me away from Your love and truth. Heal the scars of my past, and lead me toward a future that aligns with the plans You have for me—plans of hope, joy, and purpose.

Surround me with friends and mentors who will support me on this journey of healing and growth. Fill my heart with Your love, so I may extend forgiveness, release what is not mine to carry, and grow in compassion and grace. Thank You for being my refuge and my healer. I place my future in Your hands, trusting that You are guiding me toward wholeness and preparing me for the blessings You have in store.

In Jesus’ name, I pray. Amen.”

Conclusion

Healing from a toxic relationship takes time, prayer, and a commitment to self-care. As a Christian woman, you have the ultimate support of God, who promises to restore and strengthen you. Lean into His love, forgive those who have hurt you, and focus on rebuilding your life with a firm foundation in Christ. With time, you’ll not only heal but grow stronger and more equipped for the healthy, fulfilling relationships God has planned for you.

Remember, God’s love for you is unwavering, and He is with you every step of the way in your journey to healing.

Article: 10 Things To Do Whilst Your Single

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*** Photo by Pixabay at Pexels

How to Protect Your Heart from Emotional Manipulation in Relationships – Part 3

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“Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” ~ Proverbs 4:23 (NIV)

This is part 3 of a 5-part series on guarding your heart in relationships. As women, we are nurturing by nature and referred to in the Bible as the “weaker vessel” (1 Peter 3:7). This isn’t a reflection of value but a design that calls us to be helpers to men, wired to bring support and care into relationships. Men instinctively know this about us, and while this dynamic can bring balance and beauty, it also leaves room for misuse when not approached with God’s wisdom and guidance.

Navigating relationships as a woman is both rewarding and challenging. The desire for meaningful connection is God-given, but it is essential to protect your heart from those who might exploit your trust and affection. This article will help you recognize emotional manipulation, safeguard your heart, and keep your relationships aligned with God’s design.

Understanding the Issue

In Christian communities, marriage is often emphasized as the goal of relationships. Traditionally, men are seen as leaders in pursuing this commitment. However, some misuse this dynamic, taking advantage of women’s nurturing nature to gain emotional support, companionship or even material benefits without the intention of genuine commitment, dodging the responsibility and accountability God places on the man.

This behavior distorts the biblical model of relationships, which calls for love, mutual respect, and service. Scripture, especially passages like 1 Corinthians 13 and Ephesians 5:25, reminds us that relationships should reflect Christ-like love. When someone enjoys the benefits of a relationship—such as emotional support or marital privileges—without accountability, it can leave women feeling devalued and disrespected.

How Women Can Protect Themselves

Guarding your heart requires awareness, boundaries, and trust in God’s plan for your life. Below are practical steps to help you stay vigilant and protect yourself from emotional manipulation.

1. Recognize Red Flags Early On

Understanding warning signs can save you from heartache.

Signs to Watch For:

• He avoids discussing long-term plans or commitment.

• He benefits emotionally, practically, or financially but does not reciprocate.

• He dodges conversations about defining the relationship or its future.

What to Do:

• Trust patterns, not promises. Actions speak louder than words.

• If he consistently avoids clarity, prayerfully consider whether the relationship is aligned with God’s will.

2. Set Healthy Boundaries

Boundaries are essential for protecting your emotional and spiritual well-being.

Practical Steps:

• Define your boundaries early and communicate them clearly.

• Avoid giving “marital privileges” without a commitment, such as deep emotional investment, financial support, or physical intimacy.

• Stand firm when someone pressures you to compromise your values.

3. Avoid Rushing into Emotional Investment

Deep emotional connections should develop gradually, based on proven sincerity.

Suggestion:

• Take time to assess his character and intentions.

• Observe his response to your boundaries. Respect is a crucial indicator of genuine love.

• Trust God’s timing and allow relationships to grow organically.

4. Seek Accountability and Godly Counsel

Sometimes emotions can cloud judgment. Trusted counsel can help you see clearly.

Why It’s Important:

• Trusted friends, mentors, or spiritual leaders provide objective insights.

• A godly community helps you stay grounded in biblical principles.

5. Embrace Your Value and Worth in Christ

Your identity is rooted in Christ, not in a relationship or another person’s validation.

Reminders:

• Reflect on Psalm 139:14: “I am fearfully and wonderfully made.”

• When you know your worth in God’s eyes, you won’t settle for less than His best for you.

What to Look for in a Healthy Relationship

A godly relationship should reflect the principles of love, respect, and mutual commitment. Seek these qualities in a potential partner:

• Respect: He honors your boundaries and values your emotions.

• Clear Intentions: He communicates openly and aligns his actions with his words.

• Sacrificial Love: He demonstrates Christ-like love through selflessness and support.

• Accountability: He welcomes godly counsel and community oversight.

Taking Control of the Situation

If you notice red flags or feel uncertain about someone’s intentions, take proactive steps to protect your heart:

1. Clarify Your Own Needs: Align your relationship expectations with God’s principles.

2. Evaluate Actions Over Words: Look for consistency between what he says and does.

3. Have a Direct Conversation: Express your concerns openly and see how he responds.

4. Be Willing to Walk Away: If he doesn’t respect your boundaries or intentions, trust God’s plan and let go.

Conclusion

Relationships are designed to reflect God’s love—honest, sacrificial, and committed. Emotional manipulation undermines this purpose and can leave women feeling used and devalued. By staying vigilant, setting boundaries, and seeking godly counsel, you can protect your heart and honor both God and yourself in your relationships.

It’s essential to remember that you cannot change a person—only God can transform hearts. Men are not “build-a-bear” projects, and it’s not your responsibility to fix or mold someone into who you hope they could be. Trying to do so often leads to frustration and heartache.

The fear of being alone or not finding someone can make it tempting to settle for less than God’s best. But settling out of fear compromises your values and leads to unfulfilling relationships. Trust God’s timing, knowing that He has good plans for you (Jeremiah 29:11).

Never forget: your worth is found in Christ, not in a man’s approval. True love reflects God’s design, where respect, integrity, and godliness thrive. Stay rooted in His Word, embrace your identity in Him, and let Him guide you toward relationships that bring joy, growth, and lasting love.