Tag: Wisdom

How to Put on the Whole Armor of God Daily

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The “Armor of God” is a powerful metaphor that helps us Christians prepare for spiritual battles. Found in Ephesians 6:10-18, the apostle Paul describes this armor as a vital tool to withstand evil forces in our lives. This passage reminds us that our struggle is not merely against human opposition but against the unseen spiritual powers of darkness. In this article, we’ll break down each piece of the armor and explain how you can apply them in your daily life.

1. The Belt of Truth

“Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist.” (Eph 6:14)

The belt was essential for Roman soldiers because it held their armor together. In the same way, truth is foundational for Christians. To put on the belt of truth, we must live in honesty, integrity, and align ourselves with God’s truth found in Scripture. It means rejecting lies and deception, both from the world and from the enemy.

Application: Daily, remind yourself of God’s truth, whether it’s reading Scripture, speaking the truth to others, or being truthful in your actions. Know that standing firm in truth keeps your spiritual life intact.

Prayer: “Lord, wrap me in Your truth and help me to discern and speak the truth in every situation. Let Your truth be the foundation of my life, guiding me in all my decisions, in Jesus’s name I pray.”

2. The Breastplate of Righteousness

”…with the breastplate of righteousness in place.” (Eph 6:14)

The breastplate protects the heart and other vital organs. Righteousness—right standing with God through faith in Christ—guards our hearts from attacks like guilt and condemnation. It’s important to understand that this righteousness is not our own but is given to us through Christ.

Application: Live righteously by following God’s commands and trusting in His forgiveness. When you are attacked by guilt or shame, remember that your righteousness comes from Christ, not from your performance.

Prayer: “Heavenly Father, protect my heart with the breastplate of righteousness. Let my life reflect Your righteousness, and guard me from any attacks that seek to lead me into sin or despair, in Jesus’s name I pray.”

3. The Shoes of the Gospel of Peace

”…with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace.” (Eph 6:15)

Roman soldiers wore sturdy shoes to keep their footing in battle. As Christians, the gospel gives us peace and readiness to face trials. The good news of Christ’s work on the cross enables us to stand firm in difficult situations and to share that peace with others.

Application: Reflect on the peace you have with God through Christ. Share this peace with those around you, knowing that it keeps you steady even when the world feels chaotic.

Prayer: “Lord, equip me with the shoes of the gospel of peace. Help me to walk in Your peace wherever I go, and use me to spread Your good news to those in need of Your saving grace, in Jesus’s name I pray.”

4. The Shield of Faith

“In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one.” (Eph 6:16)

The shield is vital for deflecting attacks. Faith in God is our shield—it blocks and extinguishes the “flaming arrows” of doubt, fear, and temptation that the enemy launches at us. A strong faith will help us trust in God’s promises when life’s circumstances feel overwhelming.

Application: Strengthen your faith daily by trusting God’s promises. When you feel attacked by negative thoughts or fears, use Scripture and prayer to remind yourself of God’s faithfulness.

Prayer: “Father, strengthen my faith so that I can extinguish every fiery dart the enemy sends my way. Help me to trust in You completely, knowing that my faith in You is my greatest defence, in Jesus’s name I pray.”

5. The Helmet of Salvation

“Take the helmet of salvation…” (Eph 6:17)

The helmet protects the head, the center of our thoughts. Salvation through Jesus Christ guards our minds against doubt, confusion, and discouragement. Our assurance of salvation gives us confidence and hope in difficult times.

Application: Keep your thoughts focused on the assurance of your salvation. When your mind is filled with worries or negative thoughts, replace them with the truth of your eternal security in Christ.

Prayer: “Lord, protect my mind with the helmet of salvation. Keep my thoughts focused on You and remind me of the assurance of my salvation in Christ Jesus. Let Your saving grace guide my mind and decisions, in Jesus’s name I pray.”

6. The Sword of the Spirit

”…and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.” (Eph 6:17)

The sword is the only offensive weapon mentioned in the armor of God. It represents the Word of God—Scripture—which is alive and powerful. Just as Jesus used Scripture to combat Satan’s temptations, we must rely on the Word of God in our battles.

Application: Memorize and meditate on Scripture regularly. When you face temptation, confusion, or spiritual attacks, use the truth of God’s Word to stand against the enemy.

Prayer: “Father, I take up the sword of the Spirit, which is Your Word. Teach me to wield it with wisdom and power against the enemy’s lies and attacks. Let Your Word be alive and active in my life, in Jesus’s name I pray.”

7. Prayer in the Spirit

“And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests.” (Eph 6:18)

Prayer is not a piece of armor, but it is essential in spiritual warfare. By praying in the Spirit, we invite God’s strength and guidance into every situation we face. Continuous, Spirit-led prayer ensures that we stay connected to God and vigilant against the enemy’s schemes.

Application: Cultivate a habit of prayer throughout your day. Whether you’re thanking God, asking for guidance, or praying for others, keep communication with God open and ongoing.

Conclusion

To “put on the whole armor of God” is to intentionally live out our faith every day. This armor equips us for the spiritual battles we face and helps us stand firm in the face of opposition. Each piece of the armor—truth, righteousness, peace, faith, salvation, the Word of God, and prayer—is a powerful tool in God’s hands. By putting on this armor daily, we stand strong in His power and resist the attacks of the enemy.

May we always be vigilant, prepared, and clothed in God’s armor as we walk through life in His strength.

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*** Prayers by Vlad Savchuk / Photo by Timeline Photos

Stonewalling: The Art of Smokescreen

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Why Stonewalling Is Harmful and Manipulative

Stonewalling is more than just giving someone “the silent treatment.” In this day and age, it has become a calculated and harmful tactic used not only by individuals but also by media, governments, and other institutions, undermining healthy communication and relationships. While some people may disengage temporarily to process emotions, stonewalling as a control mechanism is a deliberate act designed to silence a person and a people, frustrating or demeaning them in the process. When employed systematically, it becomes a tool of manipulation and, arguably, a form of psychological abuse.

What Is Stonewalling?

Stonewalling occurs when someone refuses to engage in meaningful communication. Instead of addressing a concern or issue, they shut down the conversation, leaving the other party feeling unheard, invalidated, and often helpless. When paired with gaslighting—a tactic where someone denies or distorts the truth to make you doubt your perception—it becomes even more damaging. Victims of this behavior might be told:

• “You’re overreacting.”

• “You’re putting words in my mouth.”

• “That didn’t happen.”

These responses can make you question your feelings, your memory, and even your sense of reality.

Common Stonewalling Tactics

Stonewalling isn’t limited to silence. It manifests in a variety of behaviors that signal an unwillingness to engage, including:

• Abruptly stopping responses: They may cut off mid-conversation, refusing to acknowledge your words.

• Turning away: Physically turning their body or looking away as if to dismiss you.

• Feigning busyness: Pretending to be occupied with something else to avoid the conversation.

• Avoiding questions: Refusing to give direct answers or dodging accountability.

• Interrupting: Preventing you from completing your thoughts or sentences.

• Repetition: Using dismissive or one-word replies like “fine” or “okay” no matter what you say.

• Declaring the conversation “over”: Abruptly ending discussions without resolution.

• Ignoring outright: Acting as though they don’t hear you, treating you as invisible.

• Deflecting blame: Turning the issue back on you instead of taking responsibility.

• Walking away: Leaving without indication of when—or if—they’ll return.

• Ghosting: Ignoring texts, calls, or other communication entirely.

Additionally, stonewallers often employ “word salad”—rambling, incoherent, or evasive speech that avoids addressing the real issue. They may talk over someone to prevent them from expressing the truth, deliberately take statements out of context, or spin the conversation in a way that stirs division, fear, and mistrust. These tactics are frequently used by manipulative individuals, but they are also employed by institutions like the media and politicians to silence dissent or control narratives.

All these behaviors signal a disregard for the other person’s thoughts and feelings, often leaving the victim feeling isolated and powerless.

Stonewalling Beyond Personal Relationships

While stonewalling is most commonly discussed in personal relationships, it is a tactic increasingly used in broader societal and political contexts. Governments, organizations, and ideological groups have been observed using stonewalling to silence dissent, avoid accountability, and maintain control.

When governments engage in stonewalling, it is particularly harmful, as it undermines trust and accountability. Citizens often find their voices dismissed or ignored, with governments deploying these tactics to sidestep responsibility and evade questions.

For example:

• Avoiding transparency: Officials may refuse to provide clear answers or respond to legitimate public concerns.

• Deflecting blame: Shifting responsibility to others rather than addressing systemic issues.

• Ignoring demands for accountability: Stonewalling inquiries from citizens, journalists, or watchdog groups.

• Labelling dissent as extreme or irrelevant: Marginalizing opposition by dismissing it as unworthy of engagement.

• Silencing criticism: Using censorship, regulatory barriers, or social pressure to stifle opposing voices.

This deliberate refusal to engage creates frustration, confusion, and mistrust, ultimately alienating the very people the government is supposed to serve. When combined with misrepresentation, sensationalism, or fearmongering by media outlets, this behavior becomes a powerful tool of division and control, further eroding public trust.

Signs You’re Experiencing Stonewalling

If you suspect you’re being stonewalled—whether in a relationship, workplace, or community—check in with yourself. Ask:

• Do I feel heard and understood?

• Do I hesitate to voice concerns for fear of punishment or conflict?

• Am I holding back because I’m afraid the other person won’t listen or will escalate the situation?

• Do I feel like I constantly need to convince or “win over” the other person?

If the answer is “yes” to any of these, you might be dealing with stonewalling.

Why Stonewalling Is “Satanic”

Some may describe stonewalling as “satanic” because it embodies traits often associated with deceit, manipulation, and oppression. It fosters division, breeds confusion, and undermines trust and understanding—essentially creating chaos where there could be harmony. In personal relationships, this destruction of connection and mutual respect is devastating. When used by governments or institutions, it becomes a weapon of control that erodes freedom, trust, and democracy.

Stonewalling denies the humanity of the person being silenced, treating them as though their thoughts, feelings, and existence are insignificant. This is why many view it as fundamentally immoral and harmful—a tactic that perpetuates harm and isolates individuals or entire communities.

How to Address Stonewalling

Whether in personal relationships, social settings, or government interactions, combating stonewalling requires courage, clarity, and boundaries:

• Acknowledge it: Recognize when stonewalling is happening and name it for what it is.

• Set boundaries: Clearly communicate that such behavior is unacceptable and enforce consequences if necessary.

• Seek support: Turn to trusted friends, family, or professionals for guidance and affirmation.

• Engage with others who listen: Focus your energy on constructive conversations and relationships.

At a societal level, addressing stonewalling means encouraging accountability, transparency, and open dialogue from governments, organizations, and leaders. Christians are called to engage society in ways that reflect Christ’s example of truth, justice, and love. The prophetic voices of Isaiah and Amos offer biblical examples of standing against corruption and oppression, while Jesus Himself confronted societal hypocrisy and lifted up the marginalized. However, He did so with humility, wisdom, and a focus on personal transformation, not through rebellion or force.

The Bible instructs Christians to respect governing authorities (Romans 13:1-7), yet it also prioritizes obedience to God over human authority (Acts 5:29). This balance calls believers to thoughtfully address injustice, always pursuing peace and righteousness. Advocacy for justice—when conducted with humility and integrity—aligns with Jesus’ teaching to be the “salt of the earth” and the “light of the world” (Matthew 5:13-16).

While peaceful protests, petitions, or dialogue may serve as tools to challenge injustice, these actions must reflect Christ’s spirit of love, not division. True engagement happens when believers focus on sharing truth with grace and trust in God’s power to bring change. In Matthew 10:14, Jesus advised His disciples to leave those who rejected the message, emphasizing that Christians are not called to force dialogue or resolution but to faithfully stand in truth and peace.

When dealing with stonewalling—whether in relationships, workplaces, or societal issues—Christians should:

• Recognise the Signs of Manipulation: Understand when someone is purposefully evading responsibility or avoiding meaningful dialogue.

• Pursue Peace, But Set Boundaries: Seek reconciliation and peace where possible, but do not enable abusive behavior or passively submit to those who use tactics like stonewalling to control or silence others.

• Call Out Wrongdoing: Jesus did not hesitate to call out injustice or hypocrisy. As His followers, we are called to stand firm for truth and righteousness, even when it is uncomfortable or unpopular.

• Shake the Dust Off: If someone consistently refuses to engage in honest dialogue, it may be necessary to walk away from the situation, not out of bitterness, but to avoid being complicit in their manipulation or deceit.

By doing so, Christians can foster healthy, respectful relationships without tolerating harmful or controlling behaviors. We must always strive for peace, but also stand firm in our commitment to truth, justice, and the integrity of our faith.

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*** Photo by Jiarong Deng at Pexels

The Power of Short Prayers and 7 Prayers We Must Stop Praying

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“He said to her, “Conjure up for me, please, and bring up [from the dead] for me [the spirit] whom I shall name to you.” But the woman said to him, “See here, you know what Saul has done, how he has cut off (eliminated) those who are mediums and spiritists from the land.” – “For false christs and false prophets will rise and show great signs and wonders to deceive, if possible, even the elect” – “No wonder! For even Satan disguises himself as an angel of light.” ~ 1 Samuel 28:7-10; Matthew 24:24; 2 Corinthians 11:13.

Praying to the dead is strictly forbidden in the Bible. Deuteronomy 18:11 tells us that anyone who “consults with the dead” is “detestable to the Lord.” The story of Saul consulting a medium to bring up the spirit of the dead Samuel resulted in his death “because he was unfaithful to the LORD; he did not keep the word of the LORD and even consulted a medium for guidance” (1 Samuel 28:1-25; 1 Chronicles 10:13-14). Clearly, God has declared that such things are not to be done.

Consider the characteristics of God. God is omnipresent—everywhere at once—and is capable of hearing every prayer in the world (Psalm 139:7-12). A human being, on the other hand, does not possess this attribute. Also, God is the only one with the power to answer prayer. God is omnipotent—all powerful (Revelation 19:6). Certainly, this is an attribute a human being—dead or alive—does not possess. Finally, God is omniscient—He knows everything (Psalm 147:4-5). Even before we pray, God knows our genuine needs and knows them better than we do. Not only does He know our needs, but He answers our prayers according to His perfect will.

So, in order for a dead person to receive prayers, the dead individual has to hear the prayer, possess the power to answer it, and know how to answer it in a way that is best for the individual praying. Only God hears and answers prayer because of His perfect essence and because of what some theologians call His “immanence.” Immanence is the quality of God that causes Him to be directly involved with the affairs of mankind (1 Timothy 6:14-15); this includes answering prayer.

Even after a person dies, God is still involved with that person and his destination. Hebrews 9:27 says so: “…Man is destined to die once, and after that to face judgment.” If a person dies in Christ, he goes to heaven to be present with the Lord (2 Corinthians 5:1-9, especially verse 8); if a person dies in his sin, he goes to hell, and eventually everyone in hell will be thrown into the lake of fire (Revelation 20:14-15).

God has provided His Son, Jesus Christ, to be the mediator between man and God (1 Timothy 2:5). With Jesus Christ as our mediator, we can go through Jesus to God. Why would you want to risk the wrath of God?

7 Prayers You Must Stop Praying 

Not all prayers are the same. In fact, some prayers are not only unpleasing to God, but they can even border on witchcraft. Praying the wrong type of prayer can introduce problems in life rather than blessings. Here are the seven prayers that you should stop saying today.

1. Praying to Saints or Angels

The first type of prayer to stop is praying to saints or angels. The Bible clearly instructs Christians to pray directly to God through Jesus by the power of the Holy Spirit (1 Timothy 2:5). Nowhere in Scripture are we told to pray through saints, angels, or Mary. These figures did not die for us, nor do they intercede for us at God’s right hand. We must use the direct access we have to God through Jesus.

2. Using Repetitive, Formulaic Prayers

Next, stop using repetitive, formulaic prayers. Jesus warned against babbling like pagans who think they will be heard because of their many words (Matthew 6:7). Genuine prayer must come from the heart, not from mindless repetition. It’s about the sincerity of your heart, not the repetition of your words.

3. Praying for Harm or Curses on Others

Another prayer to avoid is praying for harm or curses on others. Romans 12:14 tells us to bless those who persecute us, not curse them. Using prayer to curse others is a form of witchcraft and is not aligned with Christian principles. Even when Jesus was on the cross, He did not curse His enemies. Instead, He prayed for them.

4. Praying with Manipulative Intentions

Another important reminder is to stop praying with manipulative intentions. James 4:3 warns us that prayers asked with wrong motives will not be answered. Prayer should not be used to manipulate situations or people for selfish gains. Instead, align your desires with God’s will, testing them through your delight in Him.

5. Invoking Spirit Guides or Using Occult Practices

Another prayer to avoid is prayers invoking spirit guides or engaging in occult practices. Deuteronomy 18:10-12 strictly prohibits practices like divination, sorcery, and interpreting omens. Mixing occult practices with prayer is dangerous and unbiblical.

6. Seeking Signs Instead of Trusting God’s Word

Another mistake is seeking signs or omens instead of trusting God’s Word. Jesus warned that a wicked generation seeks after signs (Matthew 12:39). While God can confirm signs through His Word, our faith should be based on His promises, not on supernatural signs.

7. Using Objects as Sources of Power

Avoid using objects as sources of power in prayer. Using things like crystals, rosaries, or any other form of objects to help you connect with God or pray is not biblical and should be avoided. However, the Bible does tell us one thing that helps us to strengthen our prayer. That is fasting (Acts 19:19). 

8. Praying for Material Wealth Without Seeking God’s Kingdom

Finally, stop praying for material wealth without seeking God’s Kingdom first. Matthew 6:33 reminds us to seek God’s Kingdom and righteousness before anything else. Prioritizing wealth or fame over spiritual growth leads to misguided prayers. In the Kingdom, the King cares for His citizens. He will provide for us when we prioritize Him first. 

Five Short Prayers to Pray

In the Bible, we see that Jesus often prayed all night, Daniel prayed for three weeks, and Nehemiah and the Israelites prayed a lengthy confession and repentance prayer in Nehemiah chapter 9. Longer prayers are needed in our walk with the Lord and provide a lengthy set of benefits. They help us focus, deepen our relationship with God, allow us to pour out our hearts, develop persistence, and promote spiritual growth.

While I often encourage people to go further in their prayer time and to push to know the Lord more, I do want to acknowledge the power that a short and sincere prayer can have on your life.

Matthew 6:7 says, “And when you pray, do not use vain repetitions as the heathen do. For they think that they will be heard for their many words.” The heart of prayer lies in revelation, not repetition. While it’s not wrong to repeat the same prayer multiple times, because Jesus prayed the same prayer three times and so did Paul, the heart of prayer is not in repetition; it’s in revelation. In other words, a prayer’s impact lies in its heartfelt connection with God, not its length. A prayer’s value doesn’t depend on how long it is.

Here are 5 prayers that are powerful if you pray them with the sincerity of your heart 

1. Lord, Help Me (Matthew 15:25)

This prayer is for the deliverance of others. A mother worshiped Jesus and then she prayed a sincere, humble, but very short prayer, “Lord, help me!” That prayer was so powerful that Jesus delivered her daughter.

2. Have Mercy on Me (Mark 10:47)

“Jesus, Son of David, have mercy on me!” This is a prayer for a miracle. In God’s mercy, you will find your miracle. We must understand that when God extends His mercy, the miracle is on its way.

3. Lord, Save Me (Matthew 14:30)

This prayer is a plea for intervention and rescue. When you’re overwhelmed by fear or when your life feels like it’s spinning out of control, cry out to the Lord and He will intervene.

4. Show Me Your Ways, Lord (Psalm 25:4)

This prayer is for guidance. When we don’t know which way to go, this short, sincere prayer can help us lean on God’s understanding rather than our own. Prayers that align with God’s will and His purpose recognize and receive His power.

5. Not My Will Be Done But Yours (Luke 22:42)

“Father, if it is Your will, take this cup away from Me; nevertheless not My will, but Yours, be done.” This is a prayer of surrender, aligning your will with God’s will. The ultimate success of prayer is to surrender to God’s will, His plan, and His timing.

What Makes Short Prayers Powerful?

1. Faith
Short prayers require faith. It’s not the shortness of the prayer that guarantees the answer, but the faith in that short prayer. The Bible emphasizes that prayers made in faith will be heard and answered by God.

2. Humility
Short prayers require humility. They express the true condition of the heart without pretense. God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.

3. Urgency
Short prayers often arise in moments of great need or urgency, reflecting a deep dependence on God.

4. According to God’s Will
Powerful prayers align with God’s will and purpose, recognizing His sovereignty.

Remember that short prayers can be as dynamic and powerful as long ones because the heart of prayer is in its revelation, not in its repetition.

Final Thoughts

We need to be mindful of the prayers we offer to God. I encourage you to avoid prayers that are unbiblical, manipulative, or focused on material gain without spiritual growth. Instead, focus on prayers that align with God’s will, seek His Kingdom, and come from a sincere heart. 

God blesses things that are in line with God’s Word.

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***By Got Questions + Vladimir Savchuk at HungryGen / Photo by Faizi Ali at Pexels

10 Ways We Grieve The Holy Spirit

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In Ephesians 4:30-32, we are shown three things that grieve the Holy Spirit.

The word grieve in this text means to throw somebody into sorrow and to affect somebody with sadness. That tells us that the Holy Spirit is not a ghost, force, power, wind, oil, or a dove without a personality. He is a Person who lives within us, and we, as Christians, have the ability to have a relationship with Him. We also have the ability to cause Him deep heartbreak.

10 Things To Watch Out For

1. Toxic Emotions

We grieve the Holy Spirit when we hold on to toxic emotions. Bitterness, wrath, and clamor all describe toxic emotions. The closer we get to the Lord, the more we’ll become aware of these emotions and let them go. 

2. Grudges

The reason many of us love to hold onto a grudge is that it takes time and energy to build, and we are unsure of who we are without it. People believe that harboring resentment stops them from getting hurt again. These things all make sense to our hurting minds, but the Bible warns against such choices. You cannot host the Holy Ghost and harbour a grudge.

You can have the Holy Spirit and harbor a grudge, but you cannot host Him. When you host somebody in your home, they get your attention and respect. 

We cannot host the Holy Ghost properly if we harbor things in our hearts.

3. Offense

Offense is like an automatic weapon – once you pull the trigger, it keeps firing. It is always tied to pride and control. Your offense might give you an excellent, logical reason why you should feel or act that way, but as you yield to it, the sweet grace of the Holy Spirit is withdrawing.

Jesus said we will be offended in this world (Luke 17:1). We will get offended and hurt. But what hurts the Holy Spirit’s feelings is when we hold onto our hurt feelings and develop theories, gossip, switch churches, and become people who hold on to toxic emotions. When we allow these toxic emotions in our hearts, they become deep-seated bitterness.

4. Bitterness

Bitterness is different from offense:

• Betrayal is what people do to you; bitterness is what you do to yourself. 

• Bitterness is internal, and betrayal is external. 

• Anybody can be betrayed, but bitterness is optional. 

When you are not a believer in Christ, it is so easy to fall into that choice. A Spirit-filled believer needs to understand that it breaks the Holy Spirit’s heart when we hold on to bitterness.

5. Unforgiveness

When you release forgiveness to someone who wronged you, you are not setting them free; you are setting your future free. When you stay in that state of bitterness and unforgiveness, the person hurt is actually you. Holding unforgiveness is like drinking rat poison and hoping a rat dies from it.

We all encounter these feelings but when we permit them to stay and grow, they push away intimacy with the Holy Spirit. You may still read the Bible and go to church but if you are holding onto the past, the Holy Spirit cannot be released to flow freely in your life. I encourage you today to let go and let God. The Holy Spirit wants to inhabit you so powerfully, but He cannot inhabit a vessel that is filled with toxic emotions. You need to keep your heart pure for the Holy Spirit.

6. Evil Speaking

The Holy Spirit is grieved when our speech is morally rotten (Ephesians 4:29). What is the first thing the Holy Spirit does when He fills us – we speak in other tongues. If your tongue is not cleansed, the Holy Spirit is grieved. When Isaiah came into the presence of God, the first thing he noticed was that his tongue was unclean.

7. Cursing

The Bible says when Peter denied Jesus, he cursed and swore. That was the state of somebody who denied Jesus. Anybody who allows cursing to come out of their mouths already has something broken in their relationship with God. No Christian should be guilty of such unbecoming talk. Abort those thoughts quickly in your head and don’t give birth to them by speaking them out of your mouth.

8. Lying And Exaggerating

Lying is deceit. Deceit often requires sufficient truth to make something seem realistic, valid, or appear true, while in reality, it is not. Partial truth is not truth but a little lie. Exaggeration is not a mistake; it is a lie. When you exaggerate or present a half-truth, you align yourself with the father of lies. Remember, the Holy Spirit’s name is the Spirit of Truth. He honors and loves the truth.

9. Harsh Speech

Christians should speak with a sense of the grace of God in our words (Colossians 4:6). “The way it is” often hurts – we should give more grace than that. Even if we are correcting or reproving somebody, we cannot do it raw; it must be correctly seasoned with grace. The person might have messed up but they are not a mess. That is grace.

10. Rudeness To People

We grieve the Holy Spirit when we are rude to people (Ephesians 4:32).

The Scriptures say Jesus did not break a bruised reed. That is talking about people, not plants. You encounter people who are ‘bruised’ as the Scripture describes them. They vent on you. They act out of their brokenness and can be harsh to you unfairly. Instead of replying harshly and breaking them down, you can come with understanding that they are hurting. For the Holy Spirit to remain upon us, there has to be a pursuit of kindness, humility, goodness and forgiveness.

The Holy Spirit is deeply affected by how we treat people. He loves people so much. When He sees injustice or that somebody becomes harsh and loses tenderness in their heart, He is grieved.

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*** By Vladimir Savchuk © Copyright – Vladimir Savchuk. No changes whatsoever are to be made to the content of the article without written permission from the author at HungryGen / Photo Pixabay

How to T.H.I.N.K. Before You Speak and Not Put Your Foot in Your Mouth

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Gracious words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones ~ Proverbs 16:24

Do you remember all the situations where you said something you regretted deeply? All the times where you wished to have thought a little bit better before speaking and avoided the embarrassment you faced. I can surely make a long list for the same and I’m sure you have plenty of those just like me, right? To think before you speak is a much-needed skill and today in this blog, we’ll talk about just that along with tips on how to think before you speak. 

Read on because, by the end of this blog, you’ll know all my top tips and tricks on how to think before you speak and not put your foot in your mouth!

How difficult can it be to think before you speak? 

Thinking before speaking isn’t rare; it’s almost human nature to feel the need to contribute to a conversation. Sometimes, you may feel emotional about a topic and may not think before you talk about it. Hence, it can be pretty hard to stop yourself from blurting out the first thing that pops into your head. There are a variety of reasons that can prevent you from thinking before speaking. So, don’t beat yourself about it if it happens to you. 

That being said, you do need to remember that we as humans are social beings and need to communicate effectively in our everyday lives. Communication is the key to happy and sorted relationships. Hence, it’s important to inculcate the habit of being able to think before you speak with anyone.

Why should you think before you speak?

A colleague once asked me why I should think before speaking? How does it even matter! 

Thinking before speaking is pretty much a life skill. Here are some basic reasons for you to think before you speak:

  • It’s essential for your credibility because if what you communicate isn’t credible or useful, people won’t respect you or your words. Imagine that you are in a group discussion around international relations and you mistakenly mention that the capital of Japan is Beijing in a hurry. If it wasn’t because you didn’t know that Japan’s capital is Tokyo but because you didn’t take the time to process or think before you speak. Such an incident will reduce your credibility but could’ve been easily avoided if you had taken a pause to think.
  • Another reason for you to think before you speak is that if you do not think before you speak, you might end up hurting someone. Sometimes when we get emotional, it’s easy to get carried away and react to everything negatively. This is pretty common when we are arguing with our loved ones and hence, can impact our relationships severely. Hence, the ability to think before you speak can be fruitful in such scenarios.
  • Thinking before speaking can also help you stay out of trouble in several ways.Let’s say you’re in a meeting and your boss asks for a volunteer to take over the operations for your company’s newly acquired venture in Yemen. You say yes, just to please your boss without understanding the whole deal and now, you don’t know how to refuse. Had you listened and thought before speaking, you’d save yourself from the trouble of explaining yourself. 

I hope you got enough reasons to think before you speak now? Great. Now, let’s move on to our next pertinent question. 

  • It’s essential for your credibility because if what you communicate isn’t credible or useful, people won’t respect you or your words. Imagine that you are in a group discussion around international relations and you mistakenly mention that the capital of Japan is Beijing in a hurry. If it wasn’t because you didn’t know that Japan’s capital is Tokyo but because you didn’t take the time to process or think before you speak. Such an incident will reduce your credibility but could’ve been easily avoided if you had taken a pause to think.
  • Another reason for you to think before you speak is that if you do not think before you speak, you might end up hurting someone. Sometimes when we get emotional, it’s easy to get carried away and react to everything negatively. This is pretty common when we are arguing with our loved ones and hence, can impact our relationships severely. Hence, the ability to think before you speak can be fruitful in such scenarios.
  • Thinking before speaking can also help you stay out of trouble in several ways. Let’s say you’re in a meeting and your boss asks for a volunteer to take over the operations for your company’s newly acquired venture in Yemen. You say yes, just to please your boss without understanding the whole deal and now, you don’t know how to refuse. Had you listened and thought before speaking, you’d save yourself from the trouble of explaining yourself. 

I hope you got enough reasons to think before you speak now? Great. Now, let’s move on to our next pertinent question. 

Why does it happen? Why is it so hard to think before you speak? 

The answer to this often has to do with impulse control or to be precise, the lack of it. Impulse control is simply the ability to control an urge to do something or control a reaction to anything. So, it’s possible that you can not think before you speak due to impulse control issues.

I’m sure you’ve asked yourself, “Why can’t I think clearly when talking to people?” or “Why do I always end up saying the wrong things?” Trust me, because I have too. There are many reasons for this but in general, you don’t think before you speak: a lack of patience, the lack of listening skills, or due to impulsiveness.

The Lack of Patience

Talking about the lack of patience, it’s pretty self-explanatory. Our urge to contribute to a conversation or the urge to be an active part of a discussion can sometimes be problematic. The lack of patience in such scenarios can lead to you interrupting others before they’re done and saying something incorrectly. It’s not easy to be patient and take a pause especially while talking about something we’re passionate about and thus, can lead to speaking before thinking.

The Lack of Listening Skills

Listening skills are as important for effective communication, if not more, than speaking skills. It’s nearly impossible to add something of value to a discussion or carry a conversation forward without listening actively. A lack of listening skills can even negatively impact your relationships as you might end up saying something you don’t mean. Hence, listening is essential to think before you speak.

Being Impulsive

Being impulsive is another trait that can be the reason behind your inability to think before you speak. Impulsiveness (or impulsivity) is the tendency to act on a whim, displaying behavior characterized by little or no forethought, reflection, or consideration of the consequences. So, being impulsive can lead to you not thinking before speaking too.

You know enough about why you can’t think before you speak normally now, right? 

But should you always think before speaking? 

I’d say you should mostly think before you speak, it’ll save you a lot of trouble, the Lord gave us two ears and one mouth, to talk less and listen more. But if you’re just hanging out with friends and not really discussing anything specific, it’s okay to just go with the flow as well. Overthinking everything just like underthinking can be problematic. 

So, yes always try to think enough before you speak but don’t venture into the territory of overthinking. 

Now that we’ve covered a bunch of questions about why we can’t think before speaking and why we should, let’s get into the ways to achieve it. I’m going to tell you actionable ways on how to think before you speak. 

The THINK Acronym

  1. The ultimate think before you speak trick is the word THINK itself, an acronym.

Before speaking anything, just THINK; this is to ask yourself five questions: Is what I’m saying True, is it Helpful, is it Inspiring, is it Necessary, and is it Kind enough? 

  • T For True: Always make sure whatever you are saying is true. Don’t try to make something up or add fuel to gossip just to have something to say. Just be honest and your words will immediately be more impactful.
  • H For Helpful: Helpful words are usually appreciated by everyone. So, if you have something to say that can be of help to someone, go ahead. But if you think that your words might be hurtful or mocking, then avoid speaking.
  • I For Inspiring: Saying something that’s encouraging, motivational, or inspiring is always a good idea. It can be anything from giving someone a small compliment on someone’s presentation to inspiring others to achieve their goals with your story.
  • N For Necessary: Speak when necessary or try not to speak. Often we need to warn people before they do something they shouldn’t or even explain a necessary concept to someone. 
  • K For Kind: If you don’t have something positive and kind today, don’t say it. Humans are emotional beings and need reassurance from time to time. So, try not to be harsh with your words and don’t hurt others. It’s important to speak considerably and kind to everyone. 

This is the golden rule on thinking before you speak, once you ask yourself these questions and get yes as the answer. You’re good to go! Because if what you speak passes this method with flying colors, it’s undoubtedly worthy of being said. Also, you can even put up a THINK before you speak poster in your room if you’d like to remember this method.

Wait, that’s not all; we’ve got more tips to assist you.

 The Power of Mental Pause

  1. Next up, utilize the power of your mental pause. In the words of a wise man, “Better than a thousand hollow words is one word that brings peace.” 

Simply put, take a breather and compose your thoughts before jumping on the speaking train. Hasty words can trouble you for a long time, even after they have left your mouth. So, learn to press the pause button. Imagine it as a pause button that you use to rewind your thoughts, think of the right response, and finally, press play.

We all have a mental pause button that we can learn to use over time. It’s the time we take to respond and it’s absolutely normal. So, make it a habit to utilize your mental pause button to master how to think before you speak. 

If you find the silence disturbing, just say, “I need a minute to ponder over this, thank you” before speaking. It’s always better to take some time to think before you speak. The pause helps you respond instead of reacting. You can also say, “I don’t think I know enough on this topic,” instead of forcing yourself to speak without knowledge. 

  1. Now on to the third tip, listen and listen carefully. A significant part of effective and thoughtful communication is listening. If you listen to others intently, you’ll be able to converse better and also partake in conversations without saying something awkward. 

To give you an example, once at a social gathering, I was talking to a bunch of vegans. One of them probably mentioned that they do not think it’s okay to eat animal products, but I was busy using my phone and misunderstood because I didn’t listen properly and blurted out “Of course, non-vegetarian food is great.” And went on to talk about non-vegetarian food. I didn’t realize right away but it got awkward pretty quickly. So, it’s better to just listen and avoid such a blunder. Make sure you listen with your ears open if you’d like to think before you speak.

How to get into the habit of thinking before I speak?

One way of honing this habit is to have practice conversations with friends or peers about some impromptu topics. This will challenge you to think on the spot and you can then think before you give each response. First, start by taking as much time as you need and measure each response time. After a while, you can start running an actual or mental timer of a few seconds to think of a proper response before the time runs out. This will not only help you practice how to think before you speak but will also help you hone the skill of quick thinking on the spot. Such skills are very helpful in personal and professional situations in which you are required to think on the spot and showcase your intelligence or responsiveness. There are other ways to become a better quick thinker as discussed below.

Becoming A Quick Thinker

The sure-shot way of mastering thinking before speaking is becoming a quick thinker and improving your responses over time. Becoming a quick thinker makes your impression on people around you better and helps you perform well in unpredictable situations when you are required to speak. Many times you might have come across situations in your personal and professional life where you had to think on your feet but you could not come up with a proper response because you spent too much time thinking before you speak. Here are a few tips on how you can tackle such situations better:

1. Note down some responses you would like to give in these situations in the future.

2. Plan some generic positive remarks, comments, or stories you can use when asked to speak up without notice.

3. Think of some questions you can ask to change the conversation topic or deflect the conversation to another person.

These handy tips can help you go a long way in saving time when thinking before speaking and make you come off as intelligent and quick but still thoughtful. 

So, I’m sure you understand how important it is to think before we speak. It’s a life skill that can help us grab opportunities and excel professionally and personally. Refer to the above table to get a quick glance at everything we’ve discussed and worked on your mental pause. I hope that I could help you with some useful tips! 

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**By Prageet Goel at Orai / Photo at Pexels