Walking in Your God-Given Confidence: Overcoming Jealousy, Criticism, and Toxic People

How to recognize and navigate jealousy, manipulation, and criticism — without dimming your light or losing your peace.

When you start experiencing strange reactions at work—or in any environment—such as jealousy, unnecessary opposition, people talking behind your back, or being treated like a threat, it’s easy to think something is wrong with you. In reality, it’s a sign of God’s hand on you.

What you’re going through is the same spiritual pattern that affected David, Joseph, and most of all, Jesus. People are reacting to your light, your anointing, and your confidence—not to anything you’ve done wrong.

Confidence Attracts Criticism

Confidence can attract criticism. When you begin to walk in your purpose, stand firm, and reflect true inner strength, your energy naturally exposes the insecurities of others. The reactions you receive often aren’t about you—they are about what your light reveals in them.

If you walk with faith, knowing you carry God’s Holy Spirit, your confidence becomes more than personal pride—it becomes spiritual purpose. In that truth, some people will feel threatened. No one should have to dim their light to accommodate someone else’s darkness. Shine bright, because when you carry the Light of God, your glow pierces through the darkness—and that often agitates hidden demons.

Confidence is a powerful thing. Not the loud, boastful kind that demands attention, but the steady, grounded assurance that comes from knowing who you are, whose you are, and what you carry inside of you. For many, that kind of confidence is inspiring. But for others, it exposes their insecurities—and that’s when certain behaviors begin to emerge…

Biblical Examples

David: Attacked for His Anointing, Not His Actions

David did nothing to Saul.

He honored him. He served him. He played music for him. He killed Goliath for Israel.

And still—Saul hated him. Why? Because Saul felt threatened by David’s favor, confidence, and God-given anointing.

“Saul was afraid of David because the LORD was with David.” — 1 Samuel 18:12

Your coworkers aren’t necessarily threatened by your words or actions. Your presence bothers them. Your confidence exposes their insecurity. Your light irritates their darkness. Just like David.

Joseph: Hated for His Dreams

Joseph’s brothers didn’t hate him because he did something wrong. They hated him because of what God placed in him:

His dreams His favor His calling His confidence His future greatness

Those things stirred jealousy and insecurity in others.

“They hated him even more because of his dream and his words.” — Genesis 37:8

Sometimes people react not to who you are right now, but to who you’re becoming. They can sense potential. They can feel elevation coming. Your destiny bothers their demons.

Jesus: Rejected for His Light

If the perfect Son of God was criticized, attacked, mocked, misunderstood, and plotted against, we can expect to experience the same.

Jesus didn’t dim His light to make others comfortable. He didn’t shrink to ease their insecurity. He walked fully in His calling—even when the religious leaders were irritated by His authority, confidence, and truth.

“The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.” — John 1:5

Your confidence and spiritual glow are not arrogance—they are evidence of what you carry. And darkness always reacts to light.

The Truth About What You’re Experiencing

Your confidence threatens their insecurity. Your favor threatens their ego. Your light disturbs their shadows. Your potential makes them uneasy. Your spirit irritates whatever is unhealed or unclean in them.

It’s not personal—it’s spiritual. You’re not the problem. You’re the proof that God’s presence is with you.

Common Reactions When You’re Confident (and Why They Happen)

When Your Presence Disturbs Their Demons

There is a moment when your confidence, peace, and sense of purpose begin to irritate the insecurity in others. You may not be doing anything except existing—but your light naturally exposes their shadows.

Attempts to “Humble” or Undermine You

When someone sees confidence—especially grounded confidence—they may feel threatened. Individuals intimidated by your presence might try to “humble” you: making underhanded comments, subtle put-downs, or dismissive remarks. This often comes not from malice, but from their own lack: they crave the self-assurance you show.

Mislabeling Confidence as Arrogance

There’s a difference between arrogance and grounded confidence. But people who feel insecure may interpret your calm assurance as arrogance or pretension. That mislabeling is less about you, more about their discomfort.

Emotional Withdrawal or Distance

When someone’s insecurity is triggered, they may unconsciously pull away—even without confrontation. Your growth reminds them of stagnation; your light exposes their shadows. That distance isn’t about you changing, but about them feeling exposed.

Passive-Aggressive Behaviour or Criticism

People whose self-worth is shaky may resort to harsh judgments, criticism, or negativity—sometimes subtle, sometimes overt—as a defense mechanism. This kind of reaction is often a projection of their inner fear and jealousy.

Competition, Comparison, or Resentment

Your success or confidence can activate rivalry or envy in those who are still battling their own doubts. Instead of celebrating you, they might compete, compare, or resent you—not because you sought competition, but because your light challenges their comfort zone.

Why You Should Keep Shining — Especially If You’re Rooted in Faith

Your light isn’t vanity—it’s testimony. If your confidence stems from your faith and identity in God, then what you carry is sacred. Your strength and clarity reflect something higher than mere self-worth: they show the power of the Holy Spirit. Your light may irritate darkness. True brightness exposes hidden shadows. That discomfort in others is not your burden—it’s the mirror of what’s inside them. Your path can inspire others to step into their own light. When you stay steadfast, you give others permission to trust their value, walk confidently, and stop dimming their glow out of fear.

What Staying Confident Looks Like in Everyday Life — Without Shame or Conceit

Holding to self-assurance with humility: knowing your worth doesn’t make you better than others—just grounded. Continuing your growth and calling—even when others resist or criticise. Responding to negativity with peace, not defensiveness—because your identity and confidence aren’t rooted in external approval. Using your light to lift—not tear down—others; being a mirror of God’s love, not a source of division.

When Your Confidence Exposes Darkness in Others

Many people don’t realize they are experiencing narcissistic behavior, especially the kind that gets triggered when someone feels threatened by another person’s confidence, competence, or God-given light.

And here’s the important truth: narcissists are most reactive toward people who carry clarity, confidence, peace, and favor — because those traits expose their insecurity and lack of control.

Narcissistic Behavior in the Workplace — Why Your Confidence Triggers It

Narcissistic personalities thrive on:

control, admiration, dominance, feeling superior, keeping others “small.”

So when someone walks in with:

confidence, competence, peace, emotional stability, spiritual grounding and a strong identity… it threatens them deeply.

They respond with behaviors like:

Subtle put-downs, Gossip, competing with you, Trying to undermine you, Getting angry when you don’t fold, Silent treatment, Passive aggression, Triangulation (turning others against you), Acting like you are the problem. That’s textbook narcissistic insecurity. Narcissists can sense strength — and they don’t like it.

The Spiritual Side: Why Narcissists Are Triggered by Light

As stated before: “Your light irritates their demons.”

Narcissistic traits thrive in:

Insecurity, pride, ego, manipulation, control, fear

Light — especially God-given light — threatens that darkness.

People with narcissistic tendencies feel uncomfortable around:

truth, confidence, kindness, emotional maturity, spiritual discernment, genuine peace

Those qualities expose them.

Just like Saul was triggered by David, Joseph’s brothers were triggered by him, and the Pharisees were triggered by Jesus. Narcissists are triggered by people who walk in identity and favor.

The More Confident You Become, the More Their Mask Slips

Narcissists cannot stand when someone:

Who isn’t intimidated, doesn’t seek their approval, doesn’t fold under pressure, stays calm, stays grounded, stays joyful

Your presence reveals everything they try to hide.

The Biblical Pattern + Psychology = The Full Picture

David triggered Saul’s narcissistic jealousy. Joseph triggered his brothers’ envy and inferiority. Jesus triggered the Pharisees’ pride and insecurity.

In every case: The chosen one wasn’t doing anything wrong, the opposition came from insecurity, the behaviour manipulative, controlling, or abusive. Note the chosen person rose anyway. That’s narcissistic behavior in Scripture and today.

What You’re Experiencing: “The Narcissistic Infection Effect”

A single toxic person can shift the entire atmosphere. This happens when they begin:

Gossiping subtly

They plant seeds, not full accusations—just “concerns,” “observations,” or “jokes.” People absorb it without realizing they’ve been influenced.

Turning people against you (Triangulation)

They’ll use phrases like: “Everyone has noticed…” “People have been saying…” “I just thought you should know…” It’s all manipulation.

Playing the victim

They make themselves seem mistreated, threatened, or uncomfortable, so people rally around them.

Acting like the ‘concerned friend’

This masks their jealousy, insecurity, and desire for control.

Slowly isolating you

They want others to see you through THEIR filter.

This is exactly how toxic personalities create an environment where people turn cold, distant, or judgmental—without you doing a single thing wrong.

Why They Chose You as the Target

Narcissistic or insecure people target those who are:

confident skilled liked spiritually grounded independent thinkers not easily manipulated not intimidated

Your presence exposes their insecurity, so their goal becomes: “If I can’t shine, I’ll dim THEIR light.”

But here’s the thing: you can only dim someone’s light if they allow it. You haven’t—and that’s why they’re escalating.

How They “Infect” Others

Weak or insecure people around them become:

Easily influenced — They don’t want to be the next target, so they go along. Afraid to speak up — They would rather join the crowd than stand alone. Emotionally manipulated — They think they’re being loyal, but they’re being used. Pulled into the drama — Because the narcissist makes it seem like YOU are the problem.

This creates a team-vs-you dynamic. It’s spiritual and psychological at the same time.

Joseph: One jealous brother poisoned the others. He didn’t just hate Joseph—he infected the whole group.

David: Saul turned the Israelites against David with lies and fear.

Jesus: The Pharisees convinced crowds who loved Him to turn on Him through influence and manipulation.

One insecure person can change an entire crowd’s perspective—until the truth comes out.

The Good News: The “Infection” Never Lasts

Toxic influence burns out. The truth always reveals itself. People eventually see the manipulator for who they are.

And the one they targeted ends up elevated.

Just like:

Joseph became ruler

David became king

Jesus rose in glory

When One Narcissistic Person Infects a Whole Workplace

A single insecure, narcissistic, or manipulative person begins influencing others. This is a documented psychological pattern known as:

triangulation, flying monkeys, group manipulation, narcissistic projection, smear campaigning.

A narcissist cannot stand someone they cannot control, intimidate, or overshadow. So they use indirect tactics to isolate you:

Planting seeds of doubt — “observations,” “concerns,” or “warnings.”

Gossiping subtly — words dripping with poison disguised as concern.

Recruiting others — not for truth, but fear of your strength.

Playing the victim — acting hurt, threatened, or “uncomfortable.”

Turning people against you — making you appear like the problem.

Before long, people who once treated you warmly act differently—not because of who you are, but because of the lies they’ve absorbed. One toxic individual can contaminate an entire environment.

Psychological Reality Meets Spiritual Truth

Narcissists are drawn to targets who are:

confident, don’t seek approval, can’t be controlled, peaceful, purposeful, spiritually grounded.

Your presence threatens their ego. Your confidence threatens their façade. Your peace threatens their chaos. Your purpose threatens their stagnation.

In other words: Your light irritates everything in them that is dark, unhealed, or insecure. This is both psychological truth and spiritual warfare.

A Pattern Seen in Scripture: David, Joseph, and Jesus

David: Saul hated him not because of wrongdoing, but because he carried God’s favor. He manipulated others, lied, twisted narratives, and attacked David’s character.

Joseph: One jealous brother stirred up the others. They attacked him for what God placed within him—not for anything he did.

Jesus: The Pharisees manipulated crowds, twisted words, and smeared His character.

One insecure person can turn many cold—until truth is revealed.

The Good News: Narcissistic Influence Never Lasts

Though manipulation can poison an environment temporarily, it never stands forever. Truth surfaces. Light wins against darkness. The one targeted rises.

Just like:

Joseph became ruler

David became king

Jesus fulfilled His purpose

You will rise too. Your confidence and identity in God make you unshakeable. Your purpose is too great for their insecurity to destroy. Your light is too bright for their darkness to dim.

Final Word: Keep Shining — Never Dim Your Light for Darkness

What you’re experiencing is not personal—it’s spiritual and psychological.

Confidence exposes insecurity. Light exposes darkness. Purpose exposes jealousy. Favor exposes pride.

Narcissists react to what they feel threatened by, not who you truly are.

So keep shining. Keep walking in your purpose. Keep carrying the Holy Spirit with boldness. Never dim your God-given light to make someone else comfortable in their darkness.

Your rise is coming. Nothing—and no one—can stop what God has ordained.

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** By Ricardo Gomez Angel at Unsplash

10 Wicked Women in the Bible: Lessons on Avoiding Destructive Traits

The Bible is rich with stories of women whose actions exemplified both righteousness and wickedness, offering lessons that resonate across time. While the virtuous women of Scripture are often celebrated, the wicked women serve as cautionary tales, revealing the destructive consequences of sin, selfishness, and rebellion against God’s will. These women’s stories highlight traits we should avoid in our own lives. In this article, we explore the 10 most wicked women in the Bible, examine their actions, and reflect on the lessons they teach us about the dangers of sin and the importance of living according to God’s ways.

1. Jezebel – The Queen of Idolatry and Deceit (1 Kings 16:31–2 Kings 9:37)

Jezebel, the wife of King Ahab, is one of the most notorious women in Scripture. She led Israel into idolatry, encouraging the worship of Baal and other false gods. She used manipulation and deceit to achieve her ends, even ordering the murder of innocent men, like the prophet Naboth, in order to seize his vineyard (1 Kings 21). Jezebel’s legacy is one of pride, wickedness, and opposition to God’s prophets, ultimately leading to her downfall.

Lesson: Jezebel’s story teaches us the dangers of idolatry, manipulation, and unrepentant pride. We should avoid using deceitful means to gain power or achieve our desires. True fulfillment comes through humility and obedience to God, not through manipulation or self-serving actions.

2. Delilah – The Betrayer (Judges 16:4-22)

Delilah’s story is infamous for her betrayal of Samson, the mighty judge of Israel. After being bribed by the Philistine rulers, she used her relationship with Samson to discover the secret of his strength—his uncut hair. Once she learned it, she betrayed him, leading to his capture and eventual death (Judges 16). Delilah’s love of money and desire for personal gain led her to destroy the man who trusted her.

Lesson: Delilah’s betrayal highlights the destructive power of greed and selfishness. We should be careful in relationships, ensuring that our motives are pure and rooted in trust and loyalty. Betrayal for personal gain can lead to irreversible harm.

3. Athaliah – The Power-Hungry Queen (2 Kings 11:1-20; 2 Chronicles 22:10-23:21)

Athaliah, the daughter of Jezebel, was a ruthless queen who sought to eliminate all potential heirs to the throne, including her own grandchildren, to secure her reign. After her son’s death, she slaughtered the royal family, only sparing her grandson Joash, who was hidden and later crowned king. Her reign was marked by idolatry and bloodshed, and she was eventually overthrown and killed.

Lesson: Athaliah’s thirst for power and her willingness to destroy others to maintain control serve as a stark warning against ambition at any cost. Seeking power through violence, manipulation, and destruction of others will only lead to downfall. God’s sovereignty and justice will prevail in the end.

4. Herodias – The Murderous Conspirator (Mark 6:17-29; Matthew 14:3-12)

Herodias, the wife of King Herod, is remembered for her role in the beheading of John the Baptist. When John publicly condemned her marriage to Herod (her uncle), Herodias held a grudge against him. She plotted with her daughter, Salome, to have John killed, demanding his head as a reward for Salome’s dance. Herodias’ desire for revenge led to a tragic loss of an innocent life.

Lesson: Herodias’ actions reveal the danger of harboring unforgiveness, bitterness, and the desire for revenge. Instead of seeking justice, her heart was filled with malice, leading to a senseless death. We should seek peace, forgiveness, and reconciliation rather than holding onto destructive anger.

5. The Woman of Tekoa – The Deceptive Schemer (2 Samuel 14:1-20)

The woman of Tekoa was sent by King David’s advisor, Joab, to convince David to reconcile with his estranged son Absalom. To achieve this, she used a fabricated story of her own family’s tragedy to manipulate David’s emotions. While she succeeded in her mission, she did so through deception and dishonesty, exploiting David’s compassion to sway his judgment.

Lesson: The woman of Tekoa’s story highlights the dangers of using deceit and manipulation to influence others. While we may be tempted to bend the truth for personal gain, God calls us to honesty and integrity, even in difficult situations.

6. Lot’s Wife – The Woman Who Looked Back (Genesis 19:15-26)

Lot’s wife is often remembered for one tragic action: she looked back at the burning city of Sodom when fleeing God’s destruction. Despite being warned not to look back, she did, and she was turned into a pillar of salt. Her longing for the comforts of her past life led to her demise.

Lesson: Lot’s wife represents the danger of holding on to past sins and worldly attachments. In moments of transition and growth, we must resist the temptation to return to familiar but destructive behaviors. Trusting God’s plan for the future is crucial to moving forward in faith.

7. Sapphira – The Liar (Acts 5:1-11)

Sapphira, along with her husband Ananias, lied to the apostles about the amount of money they had received from selling property, pretending to donate all of it while secretly keeping part for themselves. Their deception was discovered by the Holy Spirit, and they both fell dead as a result of their sin. Sapphira’s sin was not just lying, but attempting to deceive God and the community.

Lesson: Sapphira’s story teaches the destructive power of lying, especially when motivated by selfishness or greed. God sees all, and pretending to be something we are not can have severe consequences. Integrity and honesty are key to living in alignment with God’s will.

8. The Witch of Endor – The Practitioner of Sorcery (1 Samuel 28:3-25)

The Witch of Endor was a medium whom King Saul consulted when he was desperate to hear from the spirit of the deceased prophet Samuel. Despite the Lord’s commands against necromancy and sorcery, Saul sought her out for guidance. This act of disobedience and reliance on occult practices ultimately led to his downfall.

Lesson: The Witch of Endor represents the danger of seeking spiritual guidance outside of God’s will. Practices such as witchcraft, sorcery, and necromancy are forbidden because they turn us away from trusting in God and His sovereignty. We must be vigilant against seeking guidance from any source other than the Lord.

9. Hagar – The Bitter Outsider (Genesis 16:1-16)

Hagar, Sarah’s Egyptian maidservant, became the mother of Ishmael after Sarah, unable to have children, gave her to Abraham as a surrogate. Hagar’s bitterness towards Sarah and her prideful behavior caused tension and conflict in the household. Though she was a victim of her circumstances, her actions reflect an unwillingness to accept God’s timing.

Lesson: Hagar’s story teaches the importance of patience and trust in God’s plan. When we take matters into our own hands instead of waiting for God’s provision, it can lead to unnecessary conflict and heartache. God’s timing is always best.

10. Eve – The First Sinner (Genesis 3:1-24)

Eve, the first woman created by God, is infamous for her role in the Fall of humanity. She was deceived by the serpent into eating the forbidden fruit and then gave it to Adam. Her disobedience led to the expulsion of humanity from the Garden of Eden and the entrance of sin into the world.

Lesson: Eve’s actions highlight the consequences of disobedience and the temptation of sin. While we may face similar temptations in our lives, we must resist the urge to act outside of God’s commands. The story of Eve also reminds us of God’s grace and the hope for redemption through Christ.

Conclusion

The stories of these wicked women in the Bible serve as stark reminders of the destructive power of sin and the consequences of defying God’s will. Each of their actions led to harm, whether through pride, manipulation, deceit, revenge, jealousy, greed, disbelief or rebellion. However, their stories also offer us valuable lessons: to avoid pride, greed, deception, and unforgiveness, and to instead live in humility, honesty, patience, and obedience to God. By learning from their mistakes, we can strive to cultivate godly character and avoid the destructive traits that led to their downfall. May we look to these stories not just as warnings, but as opportunities to grow in wisdom and grace.

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** Photo by Jelena Kostic at Pexels

What the Bible Teaches About the Dead

The Bible provides clear teachings on the state of the dead, resurrection, judgment, and eternal life. Scripture offers guidance on what happens after death, provides comfort for those who grieve, and warns against seeking contact with the dead. Below is an in-depth look at what the Bible explicitly states on these matters.

1. The State of the Dead

The Bible often describes death as a state of rest or sleep, implying a temporary condition before resurrection. The deceased are no longer aware of earthly matters, nor do they have any influence in the physical world.

• Ecclesiastes 9:5-6 – “For the living know that they will die, but the dead know nothing; they have no further reward, and even their name is forgotten. Their love, their hate and their jealousy have long since vanished; never again will they have a part in anything that happens under the sun.”

• Psalm 146:4 – “When their spirit departs, they return to the ground; on that very day their plans come to nothing.”

• Job 14:10-12 – “But a man dies and is laid low; he breathes his last and is no more. As the water of a lake dries up or a riverbed becomes parched and dry, so he lies down and does not rise; till the heavens are no more, people will not awake or be roused from their sleep.”

These verses emphasize that the dead do not engage with the living, nor are they conscious of events happening on Earth. Instead, they remain in a state of rest until the time of resurrection.

2. Resurrection and Eternal Life

The Bible teaches that death is not the final end. A resurrection will take place when God calls the dead to life. Jesus Himself emphasized this truth.

• John 11:25-26 – Jesus said, “I am the resurrection and the life. The one who believes in me will live, even though they die; and whoever lives by believing in me will never die.”

• 1 Thessalonians 4:16-17 – “For the Lord himself will come down from heaven, with a loud command, with the voice of the archangel and with the trumpet call of God, and the dead in Christ will rise first. After that, we who are still alive and are left will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And so we will be with the Lord forever.”

• Daniel 12:2 – “Multitudes who sleep in the dust of the earth will awake: some to everlasting life, others to shame and everlasting contempt.”

These passages affirm that there will be a resurrection, but the exact timing and details remain within God’s plan.

3. Judgment After Death

Scripture teaches that every person will face judgment, where they will be held accountable for their actions in life. This judgment determines their eternal destiny.

• Hebrews 9:27 – “Just as people are destined to die once, and after that to face judgment.”

• Revelation 20:12 – “And I saw the dead, great and small, standing before the throne, and books were opened. Another book was opened, which is the book of life. The dead were judged according to what they had done as recorded in the books.”

• Matthew 25:46 – “Then they will go away to eternal punishment, but the righteous to eternal life.”

These verses highlight that judgment will occur after resurrection, where individuals will either receive eternal life or face eternal separation from God.

4. Comfort for the Bereaved

The Bible acknowledges the pain of losing a loved one and offers reassurance that God is near to those who grieve. He promises comfort to the brokenhearted and strength for those who mourn.

• Psalm 34:18 – “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”

• Matthew 5:4 – “Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.”

• 1 Thessalonians 4:13-14 – “Brothers and sisters, we do not want you to be uninformed about those who sleep in death, so that you do not grieve like the rest of mankind, who have no hope. For we believe that Jesus died and rose again, and so we believe that God will bring with Jesus those who have fallen asleep in him.”

These passages assure believers that while grief is natural, there is hope in Christ’s promise of resurrection and eternal life.

5. No Communication With the Dead

The Bible strongly warns against attempting to communicate with the dead. Seeking out spirits or engaging in practices such as necromancy and consulting mediums is condemned as detestable before God.

• Deuteronomy 18:10-12 – “Let no one be found among you who sacrifices their son or daughter in the fire, who practices divination or sorcery, interprets omens, engages in witchcraft, or casts spells, or who is a medium or spiritist or who consults the dead. Anyone who does these things is detestable to the Lord.”

• Isaiah 8:19 – “When someone tells you to consult mediums and spiritists, who whisper and mutter, should not a people inquire of their God? Why consult the dead on behalf of the living?”

• Leviticus 19:31 – “Do not turn to mediums or seek out spiritists, for you will be defiled by them. I am the Lord your God.”

These verses make it clear that the living should seek guidance from God alone, rather than attempting to communicate with the dead.

Conclusion

The Bible teaches that the dead are in a state of rest, awaiting resurrection and final judgment. Scripture provides assurance that those who believe in Christ will have eternal life, while those who reject God will face judgment. The Bible also offers comfort for those who mourn and warns against attempting to contact the dead. Ultimately, it directs believers to trust in God’s promises and seek Him for guidance and understanding.

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** Photo by Ren Lavsad at Pexels

20 Remarkable Women In The Bible and How They Empower Us Today

Throughout the Bible, we encounter a number of remarkable women whose lives and actions left an indelible mark on history. These women, chosen by God, demonstrate powerful virtues such as faith, courage, wisdom, and resilience. Their stories showcase not only their personal achievements but also how their Christlike qualities serve as an example for us today. From leaders and warriors to prophets and servants, these women stood out in times of adversity, proving that God’s purpose for them transcended cultural and societal limitations. In this article, we explore the lives of 20 women of the Bible, their key accomplishments, their character traits that mirror the love and strength of Christ, and how their resilience continues to inspire us. These women, revered by the Lord, serve as beacons of faithfulness, shaping the spiritual landscape and encouraging us to follow their example.

1. Eve

Verses: Genesis 1:27–28 – “So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them. God blessed them and said to them, ‘Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it. Rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky and over every living creature that moves on the ground.’”Genesis 3:20 – “Adam named his wife Eve, because she would become the mother of all the living.” These verses establish Eve as the first woman, created in God’s image and given the divine mandate to be fruitful, multiply, and care for creation. Her role as the mother of humanity highlights her pivotal place in biblical history.

Eve’s most significant achievement is being the “mother of all living.” She represents the beginning of human life and relationships. Despite her disobedience in eating the forbidden fruit, she carried forward God’s purpose by giving birth to Cain, Abel, Seth, and others, nurturing the next generations. Eve participated in God’s creative process as the first woman, reflecting partnership and stewardship. Although she sinned by eating the forbidden fruit, her life demonstrates God’s grace and redemption. Eve’s experience foreshadows Christ’s role as the redeemer, reminding us that even in failure, we are not beyond God’s love and mercy. Eve’s story teaches the consequences of choices and the boundless mercy of God. Despite her failure, she embraced her role as a wife and mother, moving forward with hope and purpose. Her life inspires us to acknowledge our mistakes, seek forgiveness, and rely on God’s grace to fulfill our purpose. After the fall, Eve persevered in a new and challenging reality outside the Garden of Eden. She nurtured and raised her children while enduring the pain and hardship introduced by sin. Her resilience serves as an example of how to continue trusting in God even when life becomes difficult. Eve was the first wife and mother, shaping the foundation of human relationships. Her partnership with Adam exemplifies the mutual support and responsibility that God designed for marriage. As a mother, she played an essential role in the development of humanity. Eve is revered as the first woman, representing the beginning of God’s plan for humankind. Her life reflects the complexity of human nature, the power of choice, and the grace that accompanies redemption. She set the stage for all future relationships and interactions between men and women.

2. Sarah

Verses: Genesis 17:15–19 – God changes Sarai’s name to Sarah, affirming His promise to make her the mother of nations through Isaac. Hebrews 11:11 – “And by faith even Sarah, who was past childbearing age, was enabled to bear children because she considered him faithful who had made the promise.” These verses emphasize Sarah’s transformation through God’s covenant and her faith in His promises, despite human doubt and limitations.

Sarah became the mother of Isaac, the child of promise, fulfilling God’s covenant to Abraham. Her story marks the foundation of the Israelite lineage and demonstrates how God’s plans often transcend human understanding and timing. Sarah exhibited faith in God’s promises even in her old age. Though she initially laughed at the idea of bearing a son, she ultimately trusted God, demonstrating how faith can grow even after moments of doubt. Her journey reflects the importance of believing in God’s power to accomplish the impossible. Sarah inspires us to trust in God’s timing, even when His promises seem delayed or impossible. Her patience, albeit imperfect, teaches us the value of perseverance in faith and the rewards of unwavering trust in God. Sarah overcame the pain of barrenness, enduring years of societal stigma and personal disappointment. Despite her struggles, she faithfully accompanied Abraham on his journey and became the mother of nations, showcasing her strength and endurance. As Abraham’s wife and the matriarch of Israel, Sarah played a pivotal role in God’s redemptive plan. Her obedience and partnership with Abraham illustrate the importance of unity and shared faith in fulfilling God’s purposes. Sarah is revered as one of the founding figures of the Hebrew faith and an ancestor of Christ. Her story exemplifies the transformative power of God’s promises and serves as a testament to His faithfulness.

3. Rebekah

Verses: Genesis 24:15–67 – Rebekah is chosen as Isaac’s wife after a divine sign reveals her as the one appointed by God. These verses showcase Rebekah’s willingness to follow God’s plan, leaving her family to join Isaac and fulfill her role in God’s covenant with Abraham.

Rebekah became the wife of Isaac and the mother of Jacob and Esau. Her actions ensured the continuation of God’s covenant through Jacob, whom she guided to receive his father’s blessing. Rebekah demonstrated hospitality and faith in God’s sovereignty. Her willingness to leave her family and homeland reflects a Christlike commitment to follow God’s call wherever it leads. Rebekah’s story inspires us to trust God’s sovereignty and act decisively when He reveals His plans. Her initiative in assisting Abraham’s servant at the well reflects the importance of serving others with humility and kindness. Rebekah navigated family tensions with purpose, especially in her role as a mother. Despite the challenges of favoritism and deception, she worked to ensure God’s plan for Jacob was fulfilled, demonstrating her steadfastness and determination. As a wife and mother, Rebekah played a critical role in God’s covenant. Her life illustrates the impact of personal choices and actions in shaping the future of God’s people. Rebekah is honored as one of the matriarchs of Israel. Her faith, courage, and role in continuing God’s covenant place her among the most significant women in biblical history.

4. Rachel

Verses: Genesis 29:18–35 – Rachel is loved deeply by Jacob but faces years of rivalry with her sister Leah. Genesis 30:22–24 – God remembers Rachel and blesses her with Joseph and Benjamin. These verses highlight Rachel’s struggles and triumphs, emphasizing God’s faithfulness in answering her prayers.

Rachel became the mother of Joseph, who would later save his family during a famine, and Benjamin, who completed the twelve tribes of Israel. Her faith and persistence shaped the lineage of Israel. Rachel exhibited persistent hope and prayer, seeking God’s intervention during her years of barrenness. Her unwavering desire for children reflects a Christlike determination to trust in God’s provision. Rachel’s life inspires us to remain faithful during times of hardship and to trust in God’s timing. Her story teaches us the importance of prayer and the power of hope, even when circumstances seem overwhelming. Rachel endured years of rivalry with her sister Leah and the heartache of barrenness. Despite these challenges, she remained hopeful and eventually became a mother, showcasing her inner strength and perseverance. Rachel played a significant role as Jacob’s beloved wife and the mother of two pivotal tribes in Israel’s history. Her life illustrates the impact of faith and perseverance in fulfilling God’s plans. Rachel is revered for her central role in the history of Israel. Her faith and persistence, despite many challenges, make her a symbol of hope and endurance in the Bible.

5. Leah

Verses: Genesis 29:31–35 – Despite being unloved by Jacob, Leah is blessed with six sons, who become the heads of six tribes of Israel. These verses demonstrate how God sees and honors Leah’s faithfulness, even when she is overlooked by others.

Leah became the mother of six tribes of Israel, including Judah, the tribe through which Christ would come. Her contributions to Israel’s lineage were pivotal and enduring. Leah demonstrated perseverance and devotion, continuing to honor God despite being unloved by her husband. Her life exemplifies Christlike humility and reliance on God’s favor rather than human approval. Leah’s story inspires us to find our worth and purpose in God, rather than in the opinions or affections of others. Her life teaches us to seek God’s blessings and to remain faithful in difficult circumstances. Leah found purpose and joy in her relationship with God, even amid rejection and rivalry. Her ability to focus on her blessings and trust in God’s plan demonstrates remarkable resilience. As a wife and mother, Leah fulfilled a critical role in God’s plan for Israel. Her children, especially Judah, played significant roles in the establishment of God’s covenant with His people. Leah is honored for her humility, strength, and contribution to the lineage of Christ. Her life reminds us that God values and uses those who are often overlooked by the world.

6. Miriam

Verses: Exodus 15:20–21 – Miriam leads the women of Israel in song and dance after the Red Sea crossing, praising God for His deliverance. Numbers 12:1–15 – Miriam speaks against Moses and is struck with leprosy, showcasing the importance of humility and repentance. These verses highlight Miriam’s leadership, worship, and her need for personal growth in humility and submission to God.

Miriam played a vital role in Israel’s history as a prophetess and leader. She ensured Moses’ safety as a baby and later led the women of Israel in worship after the miraculous crossing of the Red Sea. Miriam demonstrated faith in God and a desire to lead His people in worship. Her spontaneous praise and acknowledgment of God’s deliverance reflect Christlike gratitude and joy. Miriam’s story inspires us to use our gifts for God’s glory, particularly in leadership and worship. Her life teaches the importance of both boldness and humility in serving God. Miriam exhibited strength and courage from a young age, guarding her baby brother Moses. Despite her moment of pride, she returned to faithful service after repentance, showing her resilience in adversity. As a prophetess and leader, Miriam served as an example to the women of Israel, guiding them in faith and worship. Her life demonstrates the importance of women’s voices in God’s redemptive work. Miriam is remembered as one of Israel’s great leaders and the first woman in Scripture identified as a prophetess. Her legacy is a testament to the power of faith and worship in leading God’s people.

7. Deborah

Verses: Judges 4:4–10 – Deborah, a prophetess and judge, leads Israel to victory against the Canaanite army under Sisera. Judges 5:1–31 – Deborah and Barak sing a song of victory, praising God for His deliverance. These verses highlight Deborah’s leadership, wisdom, and faith in God during a time of national crisis.

Deborah was the only female judge of Israel, leading the nation both spiritually and militarily. She orchestrated the defeat of Sisera’s army, bringing peace to Israel for 40 years. Deborah displayed courage, wisdom, and humility, always attributing victories to God. Her ability to inspire others and lead with justice mirrors Christ’s leadership and servant-heartedness. Deborah’s story inspires us to embrace God’s calling with confidence, regardless of societal norms. Her life encourages us to trust God’s guidance in fulfilling leadership roles. Deborah led during a time of oppression and danger, relying on God’s strength and wisdom to deliver her people. Her perseverance through challenges highlights her unwavering faith and determination. As a prophetess and judge, Deborah played a unique role in Israel’s history. She exemplifies the power of women in spiritual and civic leadership when guided by God’s wisdom. Deborah is celebrated as a courageous and wise leader who faithfully followed God’s direction. Her life remains a powerful example of female leadership in Scripture.

8. Ruth

Verses: Ruth 1:16–17 – Ruth pledges her loyalty to Naomi and Naomi’s God, showcasing her faith and devotion. Ruth 4:13–17 – Ruth becomes the great-grandmother of King David through her marriage to Boaz, securing her place in the lineage of Christ. These verses emphasize Ruth’s faithfulness, love, and role in God’s redemptive plan.

Ruth left her homeland of Moab to join Naomi, ultimately becoming an ancestor of Christ. Her marriage to Boaz brought her into God’s covenant community and ensured the continuation of the Messianic line. Ruth exemplified selfless love, loyalty, and humility, echoing Christ’s sacrificial love. Her willingness to leave everything behind to follow God’s path reflects a Christlike commitment to faith. Ruth’s story inspires us to trust God’s plans and to demonstrate unwavering love and loyalty to others. Her life shows how God honors faithfulness and brings redemption through humble obedience. Ruth overcame personal loss, leaving her family and culture behind to start anew in a foreign land. Her determination to remain faithful to Naomi and God illustrates incredible inner strength and perseverance. Ruth’s role as a loyal daughter-in-law and mother in the lineage of Christ highlights the impact of faith and obedience in God’s plan for redemption.Ruth is revered for her faithfulness and role in the Messianic lineage. Her story demonstrates how God includes and elevates those from outside Israel in His redemptive plan.

9. Hannah

Verses: 1 Samuel 1:10–20 – Hannah prays fervently for a child and vows to dedicate him to God, leading to the birth of Samuel. 1 Samuel 2:1–10 – Hannah’s song of praise exalts God’s power and faithfulness after Samuel’s birth. These verses highlight Hannah’s deep faith, prayer life, and gratitude to God.

Hannah became the mother of Samuel, one of Israel’s greatest prophets. Her dedication of Samuel to God’s service ensured the spiritual revival of Israel. Hannah displayed fervent prayer, deep faith, and selflessness, mirroring Christ’s reliance on God. Her willingness to give her child to God’s service reflects Christlike surrender to the Father’s will. Hannah inspires us to bring our deepest desires and struggles to God in prayer, trusting in His power to answer. Her faith demonstrates the importance of surrendering our blessings back to God. Hannah endured years of ridicule and barrenness with grace and faith. Her ability to trust God despite her pain and to fulfill her vow showcases her remarkable resilience. As the mother of Samuel, Hannah’s role was pivotal in Israel’s history. Her faith and dedication laid the foundation for Samuel’s influential ministry. Hannah is honored for her prayerful spirit and devotion to God. Her story is a testament to the power of faith and the importance of dedicating our blessings to God’s service.

10. Esther

Verses: Esther 4:13–17 – Mordecai urges Esther to use her position as queen to save her people, and Esther agrees, despite the risk to her life. Esther 7:3–6 – Esther courageously reveals Haman’s plot to annihilate the Jews, leading to their deliverance. These verses demonstrate Esther’s bravery, wisdom, and trust in God’s providence.

Esther’s courageous intervention saved the Jewish people from annihilation during their exile in Persia. Her actions also led to the institution of the Feast of Purim, which celebrates God’s deliverance. Esther’s willingness to risk her life for others mirrors Christ’s sacrificial love. Her courage and wisdom in advocating for her people reflect Christlike leadership and intercession. Esther’s story inspires us to trust God’s sovereignty and to act with courage when faced with challenges. She teaches us that God can use anyone, regardless of circumstances, to accomplish His plans. Esther overcame fear and uncertainty to stand boldly before the king. Her resilience in navigating palace politics and her unwavering faith in God’s timing highlight her inner strength. As queen and advocate for her people, Esther’s role demonstrates how God uses individuals in positions of influence for His glory. Esther is revered as a heroine of faith and courage. Her story remains a powerful testament to the impact of obedience and trust in God during times of crisis.

11. Mary, Mother of Jesus

Verses: Luke 1:26–38 – The angel Gabriel announces to Mary that she will give birth to Jesus, the Son of God, and Mary humbly accepts. John 19:25–27 – Mary stands at the foot of the cross, faithfully supporting her Son in His suffering. These verses highlight Mary’s humility, faith, and devotion to God’s plan.

Mary was chosen by God to give birth to Jesus, the Savior of the world. Her role in raising Him and supporting His ministry was vital to His earthly mission. Mary displayed humility, obedience, and unwavering faith. Her willingness to accept God’s will reflects Christlike surrender and trust in the Father. Mary’s life inspires us to trust God’s plan, even when it is difficult to understand. She demonstrates the power of faith and obedience in fulfilling God’s purposes. Mary faced immense challenges, including societal judgment, the pain of watching her Son’s suffering, and the uncertainty of His mission. Her resilience in the face of sorrow and faith in God’s plan are exemplary.As the mother of Jesus, Mary’s role was central to God’s plan of salvation. She nurtured and supported Jesus, contributing to His growth and ministry. Mary is honored as the mother of the Messiah, a woman of great faith and courage. Her story exemplifies the beauty of surrendering to God’s will.

12. Elizabeth

Verses: Luke 1:5–25 – Elizabeth conceives John the Baptist in her old age after years of barrenness, recognizing God’s faithfulness. Luke 1:39–45 – Elizabeth greets Mary with joy, acknowledging her as the mother of the Messiah. These verses highlight Elizabeth’s faith, joy, and recognition of God’s miraculous works.

Elizabeth gave birth to John the Baptist, the forerunner of Christ, in fulfillment of God’s promises. Her faith played a crucial role in preparing the way for Jesus. Elizabeth exhibited faith, humility, and joy in God’s plans. Her encouragement of Mary reflects Christlike love and support for others. Elizabeth’s story inspires us to trust God’s timing and to find joy in His promises, even in seemingly impossible situations. Her life is a testament to God’s faithfulness. Elizabeth endured years of barrenness and societal judgment with grace and faith. Her ability to praise God after her long wait highlights her resilience and gratitude. As the mother of John the Baptist, Elizabeth’s role was pivotal in God’s redemptive plan. She supported Mary and bore witness to God’s miraculous work. Elizabeth is revered as a faithful servant of God, whose life demonstrates the power of prayer, patience, and belief in God’s promises.

13. Mary Magdalene

Verses: Luke 8:1–3 – Mary Magdalene is introduced as a follower of Jesus who was healed of demonic possession and supported His ministry. John 20:11–18 – Mary becomes the first to witness the resurrected Christ and is tasked with sharing the news. These verses highlight Mary’s transformation, devotion, and role in spreading the Gospel.

Mary Magdalene was a devoted disciple of Jesus and the first to witness His resurrection. Her testimony marked a pivotal moment in Christian history. Mary Magdalene displayed unwavering devotion, gratitude, and faith. Her loyalty to Jesus, even in the face of despair, reflects Christlike love and perseverance. Mary’s transformation from a troubled past to a devoted follower of Christ inspires hope and reminds us of God’s power to redeem and restore. Mary endured great suffering before her healing and remained faithful through Jesus’ death and resurrection. Her resilience in proclaiming the risen Christ showcases her bold faith. As a disciple and witness to the resurrection, Mary’s role was central to the early spread of the Gospel. She exemplifies the importance of women in Jesus’ ministry. Mary Magdalene is celebrated as a devoted follower of Christ and a herald of the resurrection. Her story is a testament to God’s transformative grace.

14. Deborah

Verses: Judges 4:4–10 – Deborah, a prophetess and judge of Israel, leads Barak into battle against Sisera. Judges 5:1–31 – Deborah’s song celebrates the victory and glorifies God’s deliverance. These verses highlight Deborah’s leadership, wisdom, and reliance on God.

Deborah was the only female judge of Israel and a prophetess. She led Israel to victory over Canaanite oppression and composed a song of triumph that glorified God. Deborah’s wisdom, courage, and faith in God reflect Christlike leadership and humility. Her willingness to serve her people demonstrates selfless dedication to God’s mission. Deborah’s story inspires us to lead with courage and trust in God’s power, regardless of societal norms or obstacles. She exemplifies how God equips those He calls. Deborah operated in a male-dominated society yet remained steadfast in her faith and leadership. Her ability to guide Israel through a time of turmoil showcases her strength and reliance on God. As judge, prophetess, and military leader, Deborah’s role was multifaceted and pivotal in delivering Israel from oppression. Deborah is celebrated as a model of godly leadership and faith. Her legacy endures as an example of women empowered by God to fulfill His purposes.

15. Huldah

Verses: 2 Kings 22:14–20 – Huldah is consulted by King Josiah’s officials regarding the Book of the Law. She delivers God’s prophecy about the consequences of Israel’s disobedience and affirms Josiah’s reforms. 2 Chronicles 34:22–28 – Huldah’s prophecy emphasizes God’s justice and mercy. These passages highlight Huldah’s wisdom, spiritual insight, and role as a prophetess during a time of spiritual renewal.

Huldah was a prophetess who confirmed the authenticity of the Book of the Law and influenced King Josiah’s reforms, leading to national repentance. Huldah’s commitment to truth and her courage in proclaiming God’s message reflect Christlike boldness and faithfulness. Huldah inspires us to speak truth with courage, even when it challenges others. Her story reminds us of the importance of obedience to God’s Word. She remained faithful and steadfast in her prophetic role during a period of widespread idolatry and spiritual decline. As a prophetess, Huldah played a vital role in leading Israel back to God. Her counsel shaped King Josiah’s reforms and the nation’s spiritual revival. Huldah is revered as a woman of wisdom and discernment who influenced a nation to return to God.

16. Abigail

Verses: 1 Samuel 25:18–35 – Abigail intervenes to prevent David from committing bloodshed, using wisdom and humility to de-escalate a volatile situation. 1 Samuel 25:36–42 – After her husband Nabal’s death, Abigail becomes David’s wife, joining him in his journey to kingship. These verses highlight Abigail’s wisdom, peacemaking skills, and devotion to God.

Abigail’s wise and courageous intervention saved her household and prevented David from sinning. Her actions exemplify diplomacy and discernment. Abigail’s humility, peacemaking, and selflessness mirror Christ’s role as a mediator. Her willingness to take responsibility and seek reconciliation reflects Christlike grace. Abigail inspires us to act with wisdom, courage, and faith, even in difficult circumstances. Her story encourages us to trust God’s justice and timing. Despite being married to a harsh and foolish man, Abigail maintained her faith and integrity. Her resilience in navigating a challenging marriage showcases her strength and reliance on God. Abigail’s role as a mediator and later as David’s wife highlights her influence in shaping the future of Israel.Abigail is celebrated as a woman of wisdom, courage, and faith, whose actions brought peace and prevented disaster.

17. Lydia

Verses: Acts 16:13–15 – Lydia, a seller of purple goods, becomes the first European convert to Christianity after hearing Paul’s message. She offers her home for fellowship, supporting the early church. These verses highlight Lydia’s hospitality, generosity, and openness to the Gospel.

Lydia was a successful businesswoman who used her resources to support Paul’s ministry and establish a church in her home. Lydia’s hospitality, generosity, and eagerness to share God’s blessings reflect Christlike love and service. Lydia inspires us to use our resources and influence for God’s kingdom. Her story encourages us to be receptive to God’s calling and to support others in ministry. Lydia’s ability to maintain her faith and generosity as a businesswoman in a pagan society showcases her resilience and devotion to God. As a businesswoman and early church supporter, Lydia’s role was crucial in spreading Christianity in Europe. Lydia is revered as a model of faith, generosity, and hospitality. Her legacy continues to inspire Christian stewardship and community-building.

18. Phoebe

Verses: Romans 16:1–2 – Paul commends Phoebe to the Roman church, describing her as a deaconess and supporter of many, including himself. These verses highlight Phoebe’s leadership, service, and support for the early church.

Phoebe was a deaconess who played a significant role in the early church, possibly delivering Paul’s letter to the Romans. Her ministry supported the spread of the Gospel. Phoebe’s service, generosity, and dedication to others reflect Christlike humility and love. Phoebe inspires us to serve faithfully and support the work of the Gospel. Her story reminds us that every act of service contributes to God’s mission. Phoebe’s leadership and ministry in a patriarchal society highlight her resilience and commitment to God’s work. As a deaconess and supporter of Paul’s ministry, Phoebe’s role was vital in the early church. Phoebe is celebrated as a faithful servant of God, whose contributions to the church were essential to its growth.

19. Priscilla

Verses: Acts 18:1–3 – Priscilla and her husband Aquila work alongside Paul in tent-making and ministry. Acts 18:24–26 – Priscilla and Aquila mentor Apollos, a gifted preacher, teaching him the way of God more accurately. Romans 16:3–4 – Paul praises Priscilla and Aquila as co-workers in Christ who risked their lives for him. These passages highlight Priscilla’s ministry partnership, teaching ability, and courage.

Priscilla, alongside her husband Aquila, was instrumental in mentoring Apollos and supporting Paul’s ministry. She played a key role in strengthening the early church. Priscilla’s hospitality, mentorship, and sacrificial service mirror Christ’s humility and love. Her dedication to teaching others reflects Christ’s mission of discipleship. Priscilla inspires us to serve God through hospitality, teaching, and collaboration. Her story reminds us of the power of teamwork in ministry. As a woman in ministry during the early church era, Priscilla demonstrated resilience in a male-dominated society. Her steadfast faith empowered her to contribute significantly to God’s work. Priscilla’s role as a mentor, teacher, and ministry partner showcases her leadership and impact in spreading the Gospel. Priscilla is celebrated as a model of Christian leadership, hospitality, and courage.

20. Mary Magdalene

Verses: Luke 8:1–3 – Mary Magdalene is described as a devoted follower of Jesus, healed from seven demons, and a supporter of His ministry. John 20:1–18 – Mary Magdalene is the first witness to the resurrection of Jesus and the one who announces the good news to the disciples. These passages highlight Mary Magdalene’s devotion, faithfulness, and pivotal role in the Gospel story.

Mary Magdalene was a close follower of Jesus, a supporter of His ministry, and the first person to see the risen Christ. She is often called the “apostle to the apostles” for sharing the resurrection news. Mary Magdalene’s devotion, loyalty, and proclamation of the Gospel mirror Christ’s faithfulness and love. Her willingness to stand by Jesus through His crucifixion and burial demonstrates profound courage and compassion. Mary Magdalene inspires us to remain faithful to Christ, even in challenging times. Her story reminds us of the transformative power of God’s grace and the importance of sharing the Gospel. Despite her past and the societal challenges she faced, Mary Magdalene became a key figure in Jesus’ ministry. Her resilience and faith enabled her to witness and proclaim the most significant event in history. As a witness to the resurrection and a supporter of Jesus’ ministry, Mary Magdalene played a central role in the foundation of the Christian faith. Mary Magdalene is revered as a faithful disciple and the first evangelist of the resurrection.

Conclusion

The stories of these 20 women of the Bible offer us timeless lessons in faith, strength, and resilience. Each woman, through her actions and unwavering trust in God, exemplified Christlike qualities such as compassion, courage, humility, and dedication. Whether through leadership, sacrifice, or service, these women overcame great challenges and became powerful witnesses to God’s grace and purpose. Their lives remind us that God does not limit His use of individuals based on gender or societal status, but rather on their hearts and willingness to serve His plan. As we reflect on their lives, we are called to embrace these virtues in our own journeys, knowing that the same God who revered these women continues to empower and guide us today. May their examples inspire us to live with purpose, faith, and the resilience to trust God’s calling in our lives.

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** Photo by Pixabay

Handling Disagreements in Marriage

Key Quotes

“As the ‘head of the household,’ I believe the man should take it upon himself to lead by apologizing for his part first, even if he feels 99.9% of the blame is with his wife.”

” As I have often told newly wedded brothers, spiritual leadership is primarily comprised of being the first person in the relationship to die to yourself. “

“Seeking God individually first, examining my own heart (and asking Him to search my heart and reveal whether there’s any offense there), eagerly resolved to make right anything He reveals to me, is the more productive and fruitful path to restoring my earthly relationship than belaboring various viewpoints and tactics in a discussion.”

Full Article

Disagreements in human relationships are inevitable, even among those who are sincere believers. As Christians, we believe there are certain things which we should never even consider in times of difficulty. For example, when we are upset, we will never even consider killing our opponent. It’s laughable to even think that’s a possibility. In the same way, in marriage, we do not even consider divorce to be an option in resolving our disagreements. Divorce should be as unthinkable an option among spouses in marriage as murder is unthinkable among friends in an argument. 

In addition to knowing what not to do, it’s important to know what TO do in tough times. We should seek for tools to resolve our conflicts in a healthy, constructive manner. 

In my own marriage, remembering the following two things has helped tremendously:

I must be the first to die to myself 

There’s almost never a circumstance where the blame is 100% on one party alone. Both parties own some portion of the responsibility for any disagreement. As the “head of the household,” I believe the man should take it upon himself to lead by apologizing for his part first, even if he feels 99.9% of the blame is with his wife. (It’s incredibly unlikely that this felt proportion reflects reality)

One thing I have learned is that I must not apologize hoping to trigger reciprocity. My goal should not be to get my wife to “apologize back,” but rather to genuinely confess and own up to my responsibility. Sure, I may wish my wife would apologize, but that is a fleshly desire. I need to die to my will and my own desires, and seek instead to only be responsible for and concerned about my own shortcomings in the matter in question.  

There’s a lot of talk about the husband being a “spiritual leader” in the Christian world today. As I have often told newly wedded brothers, spiritual leadership is primarily comprised of being the first person in the relationship to die to yourself. There are all sorts of worldly ideas pervading Christendom about what it means for the man to be the head: about commanding respect, being obeyed, being the ruler of the home, etc. These are all wrong notions. To learn what true spiritual leadership is, we must look to Jesus Christ as our spiritual Head, and the Husband of His Church. Looking to our own Head and seeing how He spiritually led His Church, we see Jesus’s spiritual leadership defined by denying His own will every day, dying to Himself, looking to His Father, depending on the Holy Spirit, carrying His cross, and coming up underneath us in service and love. He never demanded respect, or forced obedience, but rather set the example of humble submission and obedience to the will of God the Father. 

This is what we as men in the home should do as well: set the example of humble submission to God as our spiritual act of leadership. 

Seek restoration of my relationship with God first

One picture that has really helped me think about resolving conflicts/ disagreements in my own marriage is that of the hands playing a piano. These hands can be compared to the husband and wife in a marriage. Think of when a player’s hands play beautifully. They are coordinated not through efforts of their own, time spent together in a kangaroo pocket, etc, but rather simply because they’re both perfectly connected to the player’s head. 

In marriage, I used to think we needed to have lots of long talks to “get on the same page,” etc, which really only amounted to the hands “spending more time together;” it never actually put us in tune! I mistakenly thought that unity was a function of coordination and communication, but more coordination and communication did not result in more unity; often, my own efforts only resulted in greater disunity. 

When I saw that if the hands aren’t coordinated, it means one of them must disconnected from the player’s head, it all made sense! Disconnection is paralysis, and we can’t expect a pianist with a paralyzed hand to play beautifully. Likewise, in marriage, we don’t need to spend more time together as paralyzed members; we need to seek to be restored to perfect connection with our Head! 

Seeking God individually first, examining my own heart (and asking Him to search my heart and reveal whether there’s any offense there), eagerly resolved to make right anything He reveals to me, is the more productive and fruitful path to restoring my earthly relationship than belaboring various viewpoints and tactics in a discussion. 

As we have done this, we have found many disagreements completely fade away entirely, needing no further discussion. When we do desire further conversation, we can engage fruitfully as members that have been restored to health as fully functioning, healthy hands.  Brother Zac Poonen has used the picture of the cross to describe all of our human relationships (the horizontal beam) in the context of our relationship with God (the longer vertical beam), and this picture is definitely true in marriage: no horizontal can thrive with a broken vertical; and almost all broken horizontals are really because of a broken vertical beam. 

God’s will for our marriages is that they would demonstrate the wonder of His redeeming love for us, reconciling us to perfect unity with Himself (Ephesians 5:31-32). These are a couple of ways in which we can personally seek to reflect His love in the disagreements that threaten to divide our marriages

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**By Jeremy Utley © Copyright – Jeremy Utley. No changes whatsoever are to be made to the content of the article without written permission from the author at NCCF Church / Photo by Studio 31 at Pexels