Tag: obedience

Spiritual Pride: A Hidden Danger for Believers

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“Your heart became proud on account of your beauty, and you corrupted your wisdom because of your splendor.” ~Ezekiel 28:17. The sin that corrupted Lucifer was self-generated pride. He became so impressed with his own beauty, intelligence, power, and position that he began to desire for himself the honor and glory that belonged to God alone, and thus he was cast out of heaven. ~Ezekiel 28:18.

As Christians, we are called to walk in humility, following the example of Jesus Christ. However, as we pursue a life of faith, we may unknowingly face a dangerous pitfall along the way: spiritual pride. Spiritual pride can be difficult to recognize because it often masquerades as a sense of religious conviction or spiritual accomplishment. This form of pride can harm our relationship with God and others, drawing us away from the humility Christ taught. Understanding what spiritual pride is, how it manifests, and how to guard against it can help us live a faith that is truly centered on God’s grace.

What Is Spiritual Pride?

Spiritual pride occurs when a believer begins to take undue pride in their own righteousness, knowledge, or “spiritual achievements.” It can start subtly, creeping in as we grow in our faith, gain biblical knowledge, or feel closer to God. Rather than focusing on God’s grace, we may start to view ourselves as more “holy” or “enlightened” than those around us. While growth in faith is a wonderful thing, the danger of spiritual pride lies in shifting our focus from God to ourselves.

Biblical Warnings About Spiritual Pride

The Bible provides numerous examples of spiritual pride, often contrasting it with humility. Here are some key passages that warn us about the dangers of pride, especially when it enters our spiritual lives:

1. The Pharisee and the Tax Collector (Luke 18:9-14)

Jesus tells the parable of a Pharisee and a tax collector who went to the temple to pray. The Pharisee’s prayer was filled with self-righteousness, thanking God that he was “not like other men.” The tax collector, on the other hand, humbly asked for mercy. Jesus declared that the tax collector, not the Pharisee, went home justified before God. This parable reminds us that God values humility over pride, especially pride based on religious actions.

2. Pride Before a Fall (Proverbs 16:18)

“Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall.” When we allow pride to seep into our spiritual lives, it blinds us to our need for God’s grace, making us vulnerable to stumbling. This verse reminds us that humility is essential to walking in alignment with God’s will.

3. Paul’s Teaching on Grace (Ephesians 2:8-9)

Paul emphasizes that salvation is a gift from God, “not of works, lest any man should boast.” If we start to view our faith as something we’ve achieved, we risk boasting in ourselves rather than in the saving grace of Christ. Spiritual pride undermines the foundation of the Gospel, which is based on God’s grace, not our own merit.

Signs of Spiritual Pride in Our Lives

Spiritual pride can be hard to spot, especially since it often comes disguised as faithfulness or dedication. Here are a few signs that spiritual pride may be creeping into our lives:

1. Judgmental Attitude Toward Others

Spiritual pride often manifests as a judgmental attitude. We may find ourselves looking down on others who don’t seem as “mature” in their faith, questioning their sincerity or devotion. This judgment is rooted in pride, not in God’s love. Jesus reminded us not to judge others, as only He can see the heart (Matthew 7:1-5), however we are called to discern the spirit (1 John 4:1).

2. Desire for Recognition

Do we feel a need for others to see or acknowledge our spiritual efforts? Jesus warned against practicing our faith for the sake of appearance. He taught that when we give, pray, or fast, we should do so in secret, so that our reward is from God, not human praise (Matthew 6:1-6).

3. A Sense of “Arrival” in Our Faith

Spiritual pride can make us feel as though we’ve “arrived” at a place of deep understanding or holiness, diminishing our desire for further growth. This mindset blocks the Holy Spirit’s work in our lives, as it blinds us to our own weaknesses. The Christian life is a lifelong journey, and we should always approach it with a teachable spirit.

4. Isolation from Those “Less Mature”

When spiritual pride takes hold, we may avoid those we consider “less mature” in faith, seeing ourselves as above them. Yet Jesus spent time with sinners and outcasts, showing us that true spirituality is marked by compassion and connection, not separation.

Touching God’s Glory: A Warning Against Self-Centered Faith

In Christian teaching, God’s glory is central to everything we do. Isaiah 42:8 reminds us, “I am the LORD; that is my name; my glory I give to no other.” When we take credit for spiritual accomplishments or make faith about our own achievements, we are at risk of “touching” or taking credit for God’s glory. This often happens subtly as we grow in our spiritual lives, especially if we start to feel more “advanced” or “righteous” than others. This desire for recognition or approval, even in matters of faith, can lead us to take ownership of things only God has done.

Spiritual pride, when unchecked, tempts us to claim credit for the growth, insights, and transformations that are truly the work of the Holy Spirit in us. We may forget that any good we do, any understanding we have, and any growth we experience are ultimately God’s gifts to us, not our own achievements. Jesus taught in John 15:5, “Apart from me you can do nothing.” This truth reminds us that the power and goodness in our lives flow from God alone. To take credit for them not only misrepresents the truth but also diminishes our awe and gratitude toward God, who deserves all the glory.

Misplacing Credit: Recognizing the Holy Spirit’s Role and Discernment Against Deception

As we grow in faith, it’s essential to recognize that every good work, every insight, and every blessing in our lives is ultimately from God through the power of the Holy Spirit. Sometimes, however, spiritual pride or a lack of discernment can lead us to give credit for these works elsewhere—perhaps to a revered saint, man of God or even our own strength—rather than acknowledging God’s hand in our lives. While people may honor and seek intercession from saints, Scripture is clear that the power to transform lives, perform miracles, and guide us into truth belongs to the Holy Spirit alone and there is only one intercessor between God and men, Jesus Christ (John 14:26, Acts 1:8, 1 Timothy 2:5). Misplacing this credit, however well-intentioned, can obscure our reliance on God and His truth.

Moreover, the Bible warns us about the enemy’s tactics to deceive through counterfeit signs and miracles. Jesus cautioned in Matthew 24:24 that false prophets and false signs could lead people astray, even those in the faith. Satan’s deceptive works are meant to distract us from the truth, enticing people to give honor where it doesn’t belong. Understanding this reminds us to remain vigilant and discerning, always comparing any spiritual experience to the truth of God’s Word.

When spiritual pride enters, it can make us more vulnerable to these deceptions, as we may become focused on external displays of faith rather than genuine reliance on God. By maintaining humility and giving credit to the Holy Spirit alone, we guard our hearts from both misplaced honor and deception.

How Spiritual Pride Affects Our Relationship with God and Others

Spiritual pride can be extremely damaging, both to our relationship with God and with our fellow believers. Here are some ways it impacts our walk with Christ:

• Weakening Our Dependence on God

Spiritual pride makes us rely more on our own efforts than on God’s grace. When we focus on our accomplishments or knowledge, we lose sight of our continual need for God’s mercy and guidance.

• Creating Barriers in Community

Pride can create walls between us and other believers. The body of Christ is meant to be unified, with each member supporting and learning from one another. Spiritual pride disrupts this unity by fostering a spirit of judgment or competition.

• Preventing Personal Growth

Pride stops us from seeing our own shortcomings. When we’re too focused on what we think we know or have achieved, we close ourselves off to the refining work of the Holy Spirit. True growth requires humility and an openness to God’s correction.

How to Guard Against Spiritual Pride

Guarding against spiritual pride requires a commitment to humility, self-reflection, and a reliance on God’s grace. Here are some practical steps to help us stay on track:

1. Pray for a Humble Heart

Scripture encourages us to “clothe ourselves with humility” (1 Peter 5:5). We can pray that God would reveal any areas of pride in our hearts and give us a humble spirit. Regularly seeking God’s help in maintaining humility keeps us aware of our dependence on Him.

2. Examine Our Motives

It’s essential to check our motives, especially in our acts of faith. Are we seeking to glorify God or to receive approval from others? Taking time for honest self-reflection keeps our hearts aligned with God’s purposes.

3. Focus on Serving Others

Jesus taught us that the greatest among us should be a servant (Matthew 23:11). When we focus on quietly serving others rather than elevating ourselves, we are reminded of Christ’s humility and love. Acts of selfless service without looking for honour can help dismantle pride.

4. Remember Our Need for Grace

Meditating on God’s grace keeps us grounded. Paul wrote, “What do you have that you did not receive?” (1 Corinthians 4:7). Everything we have, including our faith, is a gift from God. By regularly reflecting on our dependence on His grace, we maintain a spirit of gratitude and humility, remembering that our spiritual journey is not one of personal achievement but one of God’s generosity and love.

A Prayer for Humility and Freedom from Spiritual Pride

Heavenly Father,

We come before You with humble hearts, acknowledging that without Your grace, we are nothing. Lord, we confess that pride sometimes creeps into our hearts, leading us to rely on ourselves rather than on You. Help us to see ourselves honestly and to root out any spiritual pride that blinds us to our dependence on You.

Holy Spirit, fill us with a deeper sense of Your presence and Your work in our lives. Remind us that every good thing, every insight, and every blessing comes from You alone. Guard our hearts against deception and any temptation to give glory to anyone or anything other than You. May we recognize the subtle ways the enemy seeks to distract us and remember that true power and goodness come from You alone.

Jesus, teach us to walk in the humility You modeled. Help us to focus not on our own achievements or knowledge but on serving others and bringing glory to Your name. May our lives be a reflection of Your love and grace, shining light not on ourselves but on You, our Lord and Savior.

In Your name we pray Jesus, Amen.

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** Photo by Pixabay at Pexels / Intro by Ron Rhodes from Reasoning from the Scripture ministries

Obedience Is Better Than Sacrifice

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Key Quotes

“If we have a terrible angry heart, God would rather have us focus on being delivered from anger than to set ourselves to read the Bible an hour every day”

“It’s better to pursue humility, than to be a proud evangelist”

“In God’s eyes a pure hearted widow’s penny is worth more, than a proud Pharisee’s bag of money”

“We can joyfully live in the freedom knowing that God is not pressing all these things on us – always telling us “do more, do more, do more, not good enough, not good enough.”  He wants us to spend our energy and our thoughts on obedience in the inward life.”

Full Article

1 Samuel 15:22 “Has the LORD as much delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices as in obeying the voice of the LORD? Behold, to obey is better than sacrifice, And to heed than the fat of rams”

SAUL

1 Samuel 15 explains why the first king of Israel (king Saul) lost his kingdom.  God told him to defeat the Amalekites and “utterly destroy them and all they have” (v3).  He didn’t do that.  Instead, he defeated the Amalekites but spared their king, and spared many nice goods that they had with a plan to sacrifice them to the Lord.  The worst part was, he thought that he was pleasing God by doing this! (v17).  He must have felt so proud with an intention to sacrifice all those nice things to God.  But then Samuel the prophet came along with a surprising rebuke – “obedience is better than sacrifice” (v22).  We go on to read that this is when God decided to take away the kingdom from Saul.

A MISCONCEPTION OF WHAT IT IS TO PLEASE GOD

Like Saul, it’s possible that we can have a wrong concept of what’s pleasing to God and what isn’t.  It’s possible that we are laboring in this Christian life to live for God in a way that isn’t the best and may even be disobedient altogether.  In this Christian “race” we are running, we should be sure we are running toward the right goal.  We should be much more focused on the goal of obeying God (inwardly from the heart), rather than sacrificing many things to Him (externally with many works).

EXAMPLES

Inward obedience is what God wants us to focus on.  If we have a terribly angry heart, God would rather have us focus on being delivered from anger than to set ourselves to read the Bible an hour every day.  How many Christians set themselves to be delivered from anger?  I don’t know the number but I’m pretty sure it’s far less than the number who commit to reading the Bible daily!  There’s no command from God to read the Bible daily, but Ephesians 4:30 tells us to put away all wrath.  That’s an example of God desiring inward obedience over outward sacrifice.

If we have been living this Christian life for any period of time, chances are we’ve attempted to please God in many different ways like this.  And we may have felt for a time that we were pleasing Him by doing many works.  We may have felt very “productive” evangelizing and spreading the gospel, proving unbelievers wrong, tithing, serving five days a week in church, sticking to a prayer list… and many other external things.  And not all these things are bad.  Many of them are good.  But what a pity if for so many years we’ve been most excited about those things and missed the thing that God wants us to focus on most; inward obedience of the heart – where we are progressing in the Christian life and our hearts are becoming more and more to be like Jesus’ heart.  (1 John 3:3). “And everyone who has this hope fixed on Him purifies himself, just as He is pure.”

It’s better to pursue humility, than to be a proud evangelist.  It’s better to seek God for deliverance of a hateful heart toward some brothers and sisters in church than to serve them with a hidden bitterness.  It’s better to give only a little money to the church, but be ‘rejoicing in the Lord always’ than to give a large bag of money every month, but at the same time have constant dissatisfaction with God and the Christian life.

DISTINGUISHING BETWEEN INWARD OBEDIENCE AND OUTER SACRIFICE

I’m not sure why I have so often in the past had a wrong conception of what really pleases God.  The Bible makes it very clear that God is not focused on the external but the internal:

(Romans 14:17) “The kingdom of God is not meat and drink, but righteousness and peace and joy in the Holy Ghost.”

(1 Samuel 16:7) “God does not look on the outward appearance but on the heart.”

(Matthew 23:26) “First clean the inside of the cup and of the dish, so that the outside of it may become clean also.”

(Hosea 6:6) “I desire mercy, not sacrifice”

(1 Samuel 15:22) “To obey is better than sacrifice”

(Psalm 51:16-17) “For You do not delight in sacrifice, otherwise I would give it; You are not pleased with burnt offering. 17 The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; A broken and a contrite heart, O God, You will not despise.”

I suppose that for myself it has been very easy to miss it, because in the past I have judged a successful Christian life by what looks ‘productive’ and the concrete results I could see.  But as I am growing in the Lord and getting to know His heart, I am seeing more that what is admirable in His eyes is not what is admirable in the eyes of men (Isaiah 55:8-9).  Men look at ‘results’ (sacrifice), but God looks on the heart (inward obedience).

Going back to the example of king Saul – if we read the chapter carefully we can see that the problems of his inward heart were the cause of his downfall:

(1 Samuel 15:17) Samuel said, “Is it not true, though you were little in your own eyes, you were made the head of the tribes of Israel

(1 Samuel 15:24) Then Saul said to Samuel, “I have sinned; I have indeed transgressed the command of the LORD and your words, because I feared the people and listened to their voice.

Verse 17 makes it clear that king Saul once had humility (he once was little in his own eyes), but then lost it and became proud.  Verse 24 makes it clear that he was a slave to the fear of men.  His inward sins of the heart (pride, and the fear of men) were ultimately caused his downfall.  No outward sacrifice could make up for this.  He would have done much better to judge himself inwardly and work with God on that first, rather than focusing on doing so many things for God.  And we would too.

FREEDOM FROM GUILT

A wonderful benefit I have gained from this truth which has brought much joy to my walk with the Lord is that since God is not as concerned about these outward things, that I don’t have to feel guilty if I am not able to keep them up as I’d like.  I don’t have to condemn myself if I’ve missed my morning time in the Word, or if I forgot to pray for a brother or sister.  What a joy to see that God is so easy on us!  This freedom from guilt and condemnation in these areas helps me to focus with more joy on cleansing myself inwardly.  Unlike Martha, we don’t have to feel like we have to carry the weight of the world on our shoulders so that we can be “productive” for the Lord (Luke 10:40-42).  We can joyfully live in the freedom that God is not pressing all these things on us – always telling us “do more, do more, do more, not good enough, not good enough.”  He wants us to spend our energy and our thoughts on obedience in the inward life.

To clarify – it’s not that we should be undisciplined in our devotional time with the Lord, or be unproductive for the Lord.  But in His eyes, if we focus more on cleansing ourselves inwardly then we will actually be much more productive for Him!  How is that possible?  It’s possible because in God’s eyes a pure widow’s penny is worth much more than a proud Pharisee’s bag of money (Luke 21:1-4).  Our small works done for God with the right heart are worth much more to Him than many works done with inward sins – wrong attitudes, pride and such things.

Do your best, but don’t compare yourself to anybody, and don’t see God as looking down on you with disappointment over these things if you fall short.  Jesus came to “set the captives free.” (Luke 4:18)  God meant to set us free from sin, but He also meant to set us free from guilt!  Don’t forget to claim God’s promise of freedom from sin without also claiming freedom from guilt, or you may find the Christian life very burdensome and discouraging.  Jesus said, “Come to me all you who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest” (Matthew 11:28).  If your walk with God is not restful, then you must be carrying some false weight which God does not want you to carry.

THE CHURCH GOAL

I am thankful that I have been blessed with many brothers and sisters who I believe have this same goal (of cleansing ourselves inwardly), who are in my church.  It helps me to keep focused on this same goal.  And I really didn’t get this goal until I was in fellowship with such people.

I’m not sure if our church family considers ourselves to have a list of ‘church verses’ which define us, but if we did, it would definitely contain Romans 8:29 – “For those whom He foreknew, He also predestined to become conformed to the image of His Son.”

The goal which we are aiming to run toward is cleansing ourselves inwardly so that we will be conformed to the image of Jesus.  We believe that evangelism is good, and helping the poor is good, and serving the church is good, and giving money is good… But we are most excited about inward purity and obedience to God in our hearts.  I believe this is what it means to focus on obedience rather than sacrifice.  I encourage everyone to fellowship with the people who have a passion for this same goal, and not primarily on external things which many churches these days can be occupied with.

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**By Bobby McDonald © Copyright – Bobby McDonald. No changes whatsoever are to be made to the content of the article without written permission from the author at NCCF Church / Photo by Soulwinners at Pexels

When God’s Truth Gets Compromised

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Woe to those who call evil good, and good evil; Who put darkness for light, and light for darkness; Who put bitter for sweet, and sweet for bitter! Woe to those who are wise in their own eyes, And clever in their own sight! ~ Isaiah 5:20-24

The connection between rejecting God’s revealed truth and the widespread moral and spiritual failures within the Church is profound. This issue goes beyond cases of abuse or leadership compromise; it strikes at the heart of how the Church perceives and proclaims the authority of God.

The Importance of God’s Design for Marriage

Marriage is not merely a social construct; it is a sacred institution established by God to symbolize the relationship between Christ and His Church (Ephesians 5:31–32). This covenant reflects God’s character, His faithfulness, and His love for humanity. When leaders reject or distort God’s design for marriage, they are not only undermining biblical teaching—they are denying the authority of the Creator Himself.

When a leader aligns with ideologies that contradict God’s revealed pattern for life and sexuality, they are no longer serving the God they are ordained to represent. By accepting cultural redefinitions of marriage and affirming practices contrary to Scripture, they openly reject God’s authority over creation and dismiss His character as good, wise, and loving.

The Assumption:

• If God’s design for marriage is no longer ‘good,’ then God Himself cannot be good, but that is a lie. Psalm 145:9 states, “The Lord is good to all, and his mercy is over all that he has made.”

• If God’s definition of marriage is labeled ‘offensive’ or ‘homophobic,’ then God is cast as a dictator rather than a loving Creator, but that is a lie. John 3:16 states, “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.”

• If God’s Word is dismissed as irrelevant in modern society, the Church does not lose its foundation or witness, as this claim is a lie. The gates of hell will not prevail against the true Church, which is not confined to manmade denominations but is the community of faithful believers (Matthew 16:18). Scripture, such as Hebrews 4:12, affirms that God’s Word is alive, active, and transformative, reaching the depths of human nature and exposing truth.

When Church leaders publicly reject the biblical definition of marriage, they reject Christ Himself. This is not a small error; it is a profound act of betrayal. Leadership in the Church requires not just personal faith but a commitment to defend and proclaim the truth of God’s Word, no matter the cultural pressures.

The Connection to Abuse and Cover-Ups

This rejection of God’s authority is deeply connected to the Church’s failure to address abuse. The same leaders who abandon biblical teaching on marriage and sexuality are often the ones who prioritize institutional reputation over justice and truth. Both failures stem from a desire to appease societal trends or maintain power rather than honor God and protect His flock.

The many abuse cases demonstrates the disastrous consequences of this approach. When leaders fail to bring sin into the light, they betray victims, misrepresent Christ, and erode trust in the Church. The attempt to cover up abuse is not merely a failure of human judgment—it is a rejection of the gospel’s call to repentance, justice, and restoration.

Cultural Capitulation Harms the Gospel

The broader cultural capitulation to ideologies around marriage, gender, and sexuality has only deepened the Church’s crisis. By aligning itself with these movements, the Church sends a message that God’s Word is outdated or incorrect. This not only leads Christians astray but gives secular ideologies the power to infiltrate and reshape the Church’s teaching.

For instance, under compromised leadership:

• Children are taught unbiblical ideologies in schools, often endorsed by Church policies.

• Faithful Christians are ostracized for upholding Scripture, losing jobs and reputations.

• Sinful behaviors are affirmed, leaving many under the false impression that they are in right standing with God.

These failures have eternal consequences. Scripture warns that those who live unrepentantly in sin will not inherit the kingdom of God (1 Corinthians 6:9). Leaders who affirm sin or fail to call for repentance are complicit in leading others away from salvation.

Rejecting Christ Through Compromise

The rejection of God’s design for marriage is not a mere doctrinal misstep; it is a rejection of Christ Himself. The Archbishop of Canterbury, and leaders like him, disqualify themselves from spiritual leadership by their blatant denial of foundational truths.

The Bible makes clear that leaders will be judged more strictly by God because their actions and words influence others, they have a big responsibility. They’re supposed to guide others toward God and live as good examples. If they lead people the wrong way, they’re held accountable for that (James 3:1). Matthew 7:15–20 warns us to watch out for leaders who seem good on the outside but don’t actually live in a way that honors God. Jesus says you can tell who they really are by their “fruit.”

If a leader’s actions show compromise, dishonesty and cause spiritual harm, they’re not following Jesus faithfully. In fact, they’re going against Him, no matter what they claim. This kind of behavior is “anti-Christ,” opposing what Jesus stands for. When the fruit of leadership is compromise, deceit and confusion, it is evidence of a failure to remain faithful to Christ.

In short: Leaders have a heavy responsibility to lead well. If their actions don’t match their words and they cause harm instead of helping, again, it shows they aren’t being faithful to Christ. That’s why we need to be careful and pay attention to what kind of “fruit” their leadership produces.

This is not a minor issue. Leaders who reject biblical truth about marriage, sexuality, or holiness cannot effectively shepherd God’s people. They have aligned themselves with a worldview that is “at enmity with God” (James 4:4).

A Call to Repentance and Reform

The solution to these intertwined issues—abuse cover-ups and doctrinal compromise—lies in repentance and a return to biblical faithfulness. The Church must:

1. Appoint leaders who are born-again, Spirit-filled, and uncompromising in their commitment to Scripture.

2. Hold leaders accountable to God’s standards, not human traditions or cultural pressures.

3. Confront sin openly and pursue justice for victims, trusting in God’s power to restore and heal.

The Church must reject the temptation to conform to societal ideologies and instead boldly proclaim the truth of the gospel. As Jesus said, “If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples. Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free” (John 8:31–32).

True freedom—freedom from sin, deception, and spiritual harm—comes only through faithfulness to Christ. Leaders who reject this truth and lead others astray bring judgment upon themselves and harm the Church’s witness.

Let us pray for a revival of truth and faithfulness within the Church. May God raise up leaders who will honor His Word, protect His people, and restore the Church’s commitment to the gospel. Only through His grace can the Church be cleansed and renewed.

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***Based on CEO Andrea Williams article at Christian Concern / Photo by Lil Artsy at Pexels

When He Wants Sex Before Marriage – Part 1

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“Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” ~ Proverbs 4:23 (NIV)

This is part 1 of a 5 part series. One of the significant struggles for many single Christian women today is dealing with sexual temptation, especially in relationships. In a world that bombards us with messages about sex, it can be incredibly difficult to stand firm in biblical principles. Maybe you’ve been in a situation where your boyfriend has pressured you for sex, or you’ve felt overwhelmed by your own desires. The chemistry between you is undeniable, and the longing for intimacy is natural—but what should guide your decisions: your feelings or God’s Word?

As Christian women, we are called to live according to God’s standards, not the world’s. While culture changes and continues to blur the lines around sexual purity, God remains the same: yesterday, today, and forever (Hebrews 13:8). His Word is the foundation for how we are to live, and this includes our relationships, and no child of God lives in open rebellion.

Dating vs. Courting: God’s Design

Before we discuss sexual pressure, it’s essential to understand that God’s plan for relationships is different from the world’s. Christian women are called not to date casually but to enter into relationships with intentionality—what we call courting. The Bible teaches us that we are to pursue relationships with fellow believers who share our faith. “Do not be unequally bound with non believers. For what partnership can righteousness have with lawlessness? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?” (2 Corinthians 6:14). If you are dating someone who doesn’t follow Christ, the pressures to compromise your faith will be much greater.

When we court, we seek to glorify God in our relationships. This means we’re not driven by the desires of the flesh but by the desire to honor Him. Courting, unlike the worldly concept of dating, is not about casual romance or sexual exploration; it’s about seeking a godly partner with the ultimate goal of marriage.

God’s Word is clear about abstaining from sexual immorality. As followers of Christ, we must strive to live according to His commands. “It is God’s will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control your own body in a way that is holy and honorable” (1 Thessalonians 4:3-4, NIV).

Common Excuses: The World’s Lies

In relationships, some men—even Christian men—may attempt to rationalize why sex before marriage is acceptable. But these arguments are grounded in the world’s way of thinking, not God’s. Let’s examine two common excuses you might hear:

1. “God Understands”

Some men may say, “God understands our struggles,” implying that His grace will cover their desire for premarital sex. Yes, God is merciful and forgiving, but His Word does not change based on our circumstances or struggles. While God understands our temptations, He also provides a way out (1 Corinthians 10:13). We are called to resist temptation and remain holy, as He is holy (1 Peter 1:16). God’s standard for purity has not changed, and His grace is meant to empower us to overcome sin, not justify it.

2. “We’re Going to Get Married Anyway”

Another argument you might hear is that sex before marriage is acceptable because you’re planning to get married. The logic is that since you’re committed to each other, you can test your sexual compatibility. But this thinking is rooted in worldly values, not biblical truth. Marriage is a covenant made before God, and sex is a sacred gift that belongs within the confines of that covenant. Engaging in premarital sex is not a test of compatibility—it’s disobedience to God’s Word. “Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure” (Hebrews 13:4, NIV).

God’s Call to Purity

Sex before marriage is still fornication, no matter how society tries to redefine or excuse it. God’s command to flee from sexual immorality is as relevant today as it was when Paul wrote to the early churches. In 1 Corinthians 6:18-20 (NKJV), Paul reminds us: “Flee sexual immorality. Every sin that a man does is outside the body, but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body. Or do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own? For you were bought at a price; therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God’s.”

We cannot afford to compromise on sexual purity. The world may tell us that times have changed and that everyone is doing it, but as believers, we are not called to follow the world. Romans 12:2 (NIV) tells us, “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.” God’s Word is eternal and unchanging. His design for sex within marriage was established from the beginning, and we are called to honor that.

What to Do When He Wants Sex

If the man you’re courting pressures you to have sex, it’s time to re-evaluate the relationship. Remember Joseph in Genesis 39—he literally ran from temptation. You may not need to run physically, but you need to create distance emotionally and mentally. Establish boundaries to protect yourself from compromising your purity.

Before you act, have an honest conversation with him. Make it clear that you are committed to honoring God’s standards, and if he truly loves you, he will respect your boundaries. If he continues to push for sex or tries to manipulate you into thinking it’s not a big deal, it may be time to end the relationship. A man who truly seeks God will also seek to honor you by protecting your purity.

Love Isn’t Manipulation

True love, as defined by Scripture, is patient, kind, and selfless (1 Corinthians 13:4-7). It’s not manipulative or coercive. If a man is using love as an excuse to pressure you into sex, then that love is counterfeit. Real love respects boundaries, honors God, and seeks the best for the other person. Love does not force someone to go against their convictions.

Letting Go When Necessary

Letting go of a relationship is hard, especially when you’ve invested time, energy, and emotions. But no relationship is worth compromising your walk with God. Continuing in sin for the sake of keeping a relationship intact is a sign of misplaced priorities. Trust that God knows what’s best for you, and He will provide the right person in His time.

For the Woman Already Engaging in Premarital Sex

If you’re already having sex in your relationship, it’s not too late to change course. God’s mercy is always available to those who repent. Stop, set new boundaries, and ask God for the strength to remain pure moving forward. Acts 3:19 (NIV) encourages us: “Repent, then, and turn to God, so that your sins may be wiped out, that times of refreshing may come from the Lord.” It may be difficult, but God will bless your obedience. His forgiveness and grace are always available to those who turn back to Him.

You’re Not Alone

The journey toward sexual purity in a relationship is not easy, but you’re not alone. God is faithful, and He will give you the strength to stand firm. Surround yourself with a community of believers who can encourage and hold you accountable. Pray for wisdom and strength as you navigate your relationships, always keeping in mind that God’s ways are higher than the world’s ways.

There is hope, healing, and freedom in Christ, and together, we can walk this path of purity for God’s glory.

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*** Part 1 by Chioma Oparadike / Photo by Pexels

How to Put on the Whole Armor of God Daily

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The “Armor of God” is a powerful metaphor that helps us Christians prepare for spiritual battles. Found in Ephesians 6:10-18, the apostle Paul describes this armor as a vital tool to withstand evil forces in our lives. This passage reminds us that our struggle is not merely against human opposition but against the unseen spiritual powers of darkness. In this article, we’ll break down each piece of the armor and explain how you can apply them in your daily life.

1. The Belt of Truth

“Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist.” (Eph 6:14)

The belt was essential for Roman soldiers because it held their armor together. In the same way, truth is foundational for Christians. To put on the belt of truth, we must live in honesty, integrity, and align ourselves with God’s truth found in Scripture. It means rejecting lies and deception, both from the world and from the enemy.

Application: Daily, remind yourself of God’s truth, whether it’s reading Scripture, speaking the truth to others, or being truthful in your actions. Know that standing firm in truth keeps your spiritual life intact.

Prayer: “Lord, wrap me in Your truth and help me to discern and speak the truth in every situation. Let Your truth be the foundation of my life, guiding me in all my decisions, in Jesus’s name I pray.”

2. The Breastplate of Righteousness

”…with the breastplate of righteousness in place.” (Eph 6:14)

The breastplate protects the heart and other vital organs. Righteousness—right standing with God through faith in Christ—guards our hearts from attacks like guilt and condemnation. It’s important to understand that this righteousness is not our own but is given to us through Christ.

Application: Live righteously by following God’s commands and trusting in His forgiveness. When you are attacked by guilt or shame, remember that your righteousness comes from Christ, not from your performance.

Prayer: “Heavenly Father, protect my heart with the breastplate of righteousness. Let my life reflect Your righteousness, and guard me from any attacks that seek to lead me into sin or despair, in Jesus’s name I pray.”

3. The Shoes of the Gospel of Peace

”…with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace.” (Eph 6:15)

Roman soldiers wore sturdy shoes to keep their footing in battle. As Christians, the gospel gives us peace and readiness to face trials. The good news of Christ’s work on the cross enables us to stand firm in difficult situations and to share that peace with others.

Application: Reflect on the peace you have with God through Christ. Share this peace with those around you, knowing that it keeps you steady even when the world feels chaotic.

Prayer: “Lord, equip me with the shoes of the gospel of peace. Help me to walk in Your peace wherever I go, and use me to spread Your good news to those in need of Your saving grace, in Jesus’s name I pray.”

4. The Shield of Faith

“In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one.” (Eph 6:16)

The shield is vital for deflecting attacks. Faith in God is our shield—it blocks and extinguishes the “flaming arrows” of doubt, fear, and temptation that the enemy launches at us. A strong faith will help us trust in God’s promises when life’s circumstances feel overwhelming.

Application: Strengthen your faith daily by trusting God’s promises. When you feel attacked by negative thoughts or fears, use Scripture and prayer to remind yourself of God’s faithfulness.

Prayer: “Father, strengthen my faith so that I can extinguish every fiery dart the enemy sends my way. Help me to trust in You completely, knowing that my faith in You is my greatest defence, in Jesus’s name I pray.”

5. The Helmet of Salvation

“Take the helmet of salvation…” (Eph 6:17)

The helmet protects the head, the center of our thoughts. Salvation through Jesus Christ guards our minds against doubt, confusion, and discouragement. Our assurance of salvation gives us confidence and hope in difficult times.

Application: Keep your thoughts focused on the assurance of your salvation. When your mind is filled with worries or negative thoughts, replace them with the truth of your eternal security in Christ.

Prayer: “Lord, protect my mind with the helmet of salvation. Keep my thoughts focused on You and remind me of the assurance of my salvation in Christ Jesus. Let Your saving grace guide my mind and decisions, in Jesus’s name I pray.”

6. The Sword of the Spirit

”…and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.” (Eph 6:17)

The sword is the only offensive weapon mentioned in the armor of God. It represents the Word of God—Scripture—which is alive and powerful. Just as Jesus used Scripture to combat Satan’s temptations, we must rely on the Word of God in our battles.

Application: Memorize and meditate on Scripture regularly. When you face temptation, confusion, or spiritual attacks, use the truth of God’s Word to stand against the enemy.

Prayer: “Father, I take up the sword of the Spirit, which is Your Word. Teach me to wield it with wisdom and power against the enemy’s lies and attacks. Let Your Word be alive and active in my life, in Jesus’s name I pray.”

7. Prayer in the Spirit

“And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests.” (Eph 6:18)

Prayer is not a piece of armor, but it is essential in spiritual warfare. By praying in the Spirit, we invite God’s strength and guidance into every situation we face. Continuous, Spirit-led prayer ensures that we stay connected to God and vigilant against the enemy’s schemes.

Application: Cultivate a habit of prayer throughout your day. Whether you’re thanking God, asking for guidance, or praying for others, keep communication with God open and ongoing.

Conclusion

To “put on the whole armor of God” is to intentionally live out our faith every day. This armor equips us for the spiritual battles we face and helps us stand firm in the face of opposition. Each piece of the armor—truth, righteousness, peace, faith, salvation, the Word of God, and prayer—is a powerful tool in God’s hands. By putting on this armor daily, we stand strong in His power and resist the attacks of the enemy.

May we always be vigilant, prepared, and clothed in God’s armor as we walk through life in His strength.

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*** Prayers by Vlad Savchuk / Photo by Timeline Photos