Category: Relationships

Walking in Your God-Given Confidence: Overcoming Jealousy, Criticism, and Toxic People

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How to recognize and navigate jealousy, manipulation, and criticism — without dimming your light or losing your peace.

When you start experiencing strange reactions at work—or in any environment—such as jealousy, unnecessary opposition, people talking behind your back, or being treated like a threat, it’s easy to think something is wrong with you. In reality, it’s a sign of God’s hand on you.

What you’re going through is the same spiritual pattern that affected David, Joseph, and most of all, Jesus. People are reacting to your light, your anointing, and your confidence—not to anything you’ve done wrong.

Confidence Attracts Criticism

Confidence can attract criticism. When you begin to walk in your purpose, stand firm, and reflect true inner strength, your energy naturally exposes the insecurities of others. The reactions you receive often aren’t about you—they are about what your light reveals in them.

If you walk with faith, knowing you carry God’s Holy Spirit, your confidence becomes more than personal pride—it becomes spiritual purpose. In that truth, some people will feel threatened. No one should have to dim their light to accommodate someone else’s darkness. Shine bright, because when you carry the Light of God, your glow pierces through the darkness—and that often agitates hidden demons.

Confidence is a powerful thing. Not the loud, boastful kind that demands attention, but the steady, grounded assurance that comes from knowing who you are, whose you are, and what you carry inside of you. For many, that kind of confidence is inspiring. But for others, it exposes their insecurities—and that’s when certain behaviors begin to emerge…

Biblical Examples

David: Attacked for His Anointing, Not His Actions

David did nothing to Saul.

He honored him. He served him. He played music for him. He killed Goliath for Israel.

And still—Saul hated him. Why? Because Saul felt threatened by David’s favor, confidence, and God-given anointing.

“Saul was afraid of David because the LORD was with David.” — 1 Samuel 18:12

Your coworkers aren’t necessarily threatened by your words or actions. Your presence bothers them. Your confidence exposes their insecurity. Your light irritates their darkness. Just like David.

Joseph: Hated for His Dreams

Joseph’s brothers didn’t hate him because he did something wrong. They hated him because of what God placed in him:

His dreams His favor His calling His confidence His future greatness

Those things stirred jealousy and insecurity in others.

“They hated him even more because of his dream and his words.” — Genesis 37:8

Sometimes people react not to who you are right now, but to who you’re becoming. They can sense potential. They can feel elevation coming. Your destiny bothers their demons.

Jesus: Rejected for His Light

If the perfect Son of God was criticized, attacked, mocked, misunderstood, and plotted against, we can expect to experience the same.

Jesus didn’t dim His light to make others comfortable. He didn’t shrink to ease their insecurity. He walked fully in His calling—even when the religious leaders were irritated by His authority, confidence, and truth.

“The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.” — John 1:5

Your confidence and spiritual glow are not arrogance—they are evidence of what you carry. And darkness always reacts to light.

The Truth About What You’re Experiencing

Your confidence threatens their insecurity. Your favor threatens their ego. Your light disturbs their shadows. Your potential makes them uneasy. Your spirit irritates whatever is unhealed or unclean in them.

It’s not personal—it’s spiritual. You’re not the problem. You’re the proof that God’s presence is with you.

Common Reactions When You’re Confident (and Why They Happen)

When Your Presence Disturbs Their Demons

There is a moment when your confidence, peace, and sense of purpose begin to irritate the insecurity in others. You may not be doing anything except existing—but your light naturally exposes their shadows.

Attempts to “Humble” or Undermine You

When someone sees confidence—especially grounded confidence—they may feel threatened. Individuals intimidated by your presence might try to “humble” you: making underhanded comments, subtle put-downs, or dismissive remarks. This often comes not from malice, but from their own lack: they crave the self-assurance you show.

Mislabeling Confidence as Arrogance

There’s a difference between arrogance and grounded confidence. But people who feel insecure may interpret your calm assurance as arrogance or pretension. That mislabeling is less about you, more about their discomfort.

Emotional Withdrawal or Distance

When someone’s insecurity is triggered, they may unconsciously pull away—even without confrontation. Your growth reminds them of stagnation; your light exposes their shadows. That distance isn’t about you changing, but about them feeling exposed.

Passive-Aggressive Behaviour or Criticism

People whose self-worth is shaky may resort to harsh judgments, criticism, or negativity—sometimes subtle, sometimes overt—as a defense mechanism. This kind of reaction is often a projection of their inner fear and jealousy.

Competition, Comparison, or Resentment

Your success or confidence can activate rivalry or envy in those who are still battling their own doubts. Instead of celebrating you, they might compete, compare, or resent you—not because you sought competition, but because your light challenges their comfort zone.

Why You Should Keep Shining — Especially If You’re Rooted in Faith

Your light isn’t vanity—it’s testimony. If your confidence stems from your faith and identity in God, then what you carry is sacred. Your strength and clarity reflect something higher than mere self-worth: they show the power of the Holy Spirit. Your light may irritate darkness. True brightness exposes hidden shadows. That discomfort in others is not your burden—it’s the mirror of what’s inside them. Your path can inspire others to step into their own light. When you stay steadfast, you give others permission to trust their value, walk confidently, and stop dimming their glow out of fear.

What Staying Confident Looks Like in Everyday Life — Without Shame or Conceit

Holding to self-assurance with humility: knowing your worth doesn’t make you better than others—just grounded. Continuing your growth and calling—even when others resist or criticise. Responding to negativity with peace, not defensiveness—because your identity and confidence aren’t rooted in external approval. Using your light to lift—not tear down—others; being a mirror of God’s love, not a source of division.

When Your Confidence Exposes Darkness in Others

Many people don’t realize they are experiencing narcissistic behavior, especially the kind that gets triggered when someone feels threatened by another person’s confidence, competence, or God-given light.

And here’s the important truth: narcissists are most reactive toward people who carry clarity, confidence, peace, and favor — because those traits expose their insecurity and lack of control.

Narcissistic Behavior in the Workplace — Why Your Confidence Triggers It

Narcissistic personalities thrive on:

control, admiration, dominance, feeling superior, keeping others “small.”

So when someone walks in with:

confidence, competence, peace, emotional stability, spiritual grounding and a strong identity… it threatens them deeply.

They respond with behaviors like:

Subtle put-downs, Gossip, competing with you, Trying to undermine you, Getting angry when you don’t fold, Silent treatment, Passive aggression, Triangulation (turning others against you), Acting like you are the problem. That’s textbook narcissistic insecurity. Narcissists can sense strength — and they don’t like it.

The Spiritual Side: Why Narcissists Are Triggered by Light

As stated before: “Your light irritates their demons.”

Narcissistic traits thrive in:

Insecurity, pride, ego, manipulation, control, fear

Light — especially God-given light — threatens that darkness.

People with narcissistic tendencies feel uncomfortable around:

truth, confidence, kindness, emotional maturity, spiritual discernment, genuine peace

Those qualities expose them.

Just like Saul was triggered by David, Joseph’s brothers were triggered by him, and the Pharisees were triggered by Jesus. Narcissists are triggered by people who walk in identity and favor.

The More Confident You Become, the More Their Mask Slips

Narcissists cannot stand when someone:

Who isn’t intimidated, doesn’t seek their approval, doesn’t fold under pressure, stays calm, stays grounded, stays joyful

Your presence reveals everything they try to hide.

The Biblical Pattern + Psychology = The Full Picture

David triggered Saul’s narcissistic jealousy. Joseph triggered his brothers’ envy and inferiority. Jesus triggered the Pharisees’ pride and insecurity.

In every case: The chosen one wasn’t doing anything wrong, the opposition came from insecurity, the behaviour manipulative, controlling, or abusive. Note the chosen person rose anyway. That’s narcissistic behavior in Scripture and today.

What You’re Experiencing: “The Narcissistic Infection Effect”

A single toxic person can shift the entire atmosphere. This happens when they begin:

Gossiping subtly

They plant seeds, not full accusations—just “concerns,” “observations,” or “jokes.” People absorb it without realizing they’ve been influenced.

Turning people against you (Triangulation)

They’ll use phrases like: “Everyone has noticed…” “People have been saying…” “I just thought you should know…” It’s all manipulation.

Playing the victim

They make themselves seem mistreated, threatened, or uncomfortable, so people rally around them.

Acting like the ‘concerned friend’

This masks their jealousy, insecurity, and desire for control.

Slowly isolating you

They want others to see you through THEIR filter.

This is exactly how toxic personalities create an environment where people turn cold, distant, or judgmental—without you doing a single thing wrong.

Why They Chose You as the Target

Narcissistic or insecure people target those who are:

confident skilled liked spiritually grounded independent thinkers not easily manipulated not intimidated

Your presence exposes their insecurity, so their goal becomes: “If I can’t shine, I’ll dim THEIR light.”

But here’s the thing: you can only dim someone’s light if they allow it. You haven’t—and that’s why they’re escalating.

How They “Infect” Others

Weak or insecure people around them become:

Easily influenced — They don’t want to be the next target, so they go along. Afraid to speak up — They would rather join the crowd than stand alone. Emotionally manipulated — They think they’re being loyal, but they’re being used. Pulled into the drama — Because the narcissist makes it seem like YOU are the problem.

This creates a team-vs-you dynamic. It’s spiritual and psychological at the same time.

Joseph: One jealous brother poisoned the others. He didn’t just hate Joseph—he infected the whole group.

David: Saul turned the Israelites against David with lies and fear.

Jesus: The Pharisees convinced crowds who loved Him to turn on Him through influence and manipulation.

One insecure person can change an entire crowd’s perspective—until the truth comes out.

The Good News: The “Infection” Never Lasts

Toxic influence burns out. The truth always reveals itself. People eventually see the manipulator for who they are.

And the one they targeted ends up elevated.

Just like:

Joseph became ruler

David became king

Jesus rose in glory

When One Narcissistic Person Infects a Whole Workplace

A single insecure, narcissistic, or manipulative person begins influencing others. This is a documented psychological pattern known as:

triangulation, flying monkeys, group manipulation, narcissistic projection, smear campaigning.

A narcissist cannot stand someone they cannot control, intimidate, or overshadow. So they use indirect tactics to isolate you:

Planting seeds of doubt — “observations,” “concerns,” or “warnings.”

Gossiping subtly — words dripping with poison disguised as concern.

Recruiting others — not for truth, but fear of your strength.

Playing the victim — acting hurt, threatened, or “uncomfortable.”

Turning people against you — making you appear like the problem.

Before long, people who once treated you warmly act differently—not because of who you are, but because of the lies they’ve absorbed. One toxic individual can contaminate an entire environment.

Psychological Reality Meets Spiritual Truth

Narcissists are drawn to targets who are:

confident, don’t seek approval, can’t be controlled, peaceful, purposeful, spiritually grounded.

Your presence threatens their ego. Your confidence threatens their façade. Your peace threatens their chaos. Your purpose threatens their stagnation.

In other words: Your light irritates everything in them that is dark, unhealed, or insecure. This is both psychological truth and spiritual warfare.

A Pattern Seen in Scripture: David, Joseph, and Jesus

David: Saul hated him not because of wrongdoing, but because he carried God’s favor. He manipulated others, lied, twisted narratives, and attacked David’s character.

Joseph: One jealous brother stirred up the others. They attacked him for what God placed within him—not for anything he did.

Jesus: The Pharisees manipulated crowds, twisted words, and smeared His character.

One insecure person can turn many cold—until truth is revealed.

The Good News: Narcissistic Influence Never Lasts

Though manipulation can poison an environment temporarily, it never stands forever. Truth surfaces. Light wins against darkness. The one targeted rises.

Just like:

Joseph became ruler

David became king

Jesus fulfilled His purpose

You will rise too. Your confidence and identity in God make you unshakeable. Your purpose is too great for their insecurity to destroy. Your light is too bright for their darkness to dim.

Final Word: Keep Shining — Never Dim Your Light for Darkness

What you’re experiencing is not personal—it’s spiritual and psychological.

Confidence exposes insecurity. Light exposes darkness. Purpose exposes jealousy. Favor exposes pride.

Narcissists react to what they feel threatened by, not who you truly are.

So keep shining. Keep walking in your purpose. Keep carrying the Holy Spirit with boldness. Never dim your God-given light to make someone else comfortable in their darkness.

Your rise is coming. Nothing—and no one—can stop what God has ordained.

———————

** By Ricardo Gomez Angel at Unsplash

10 Wicked Women in the Bible: Lessons on Avoiding Destructive Traits

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The Bible is rich with stories of women whose actions exemplified both righteousness and wickedness, offering lessons that resonate across time. While the virtuous women of Scripture are often celebrated, the wicked women serve as cautionary tales, revealing the destructive consequences of sin, selfishness, and rebellion against God’s will. These women’s stories highlight traits we should avoid in our own lives. In this article, we explore the 10 most wicked women in the Bible, examine their actions, and reflect on the lessons they teach us about the dangers of sin and the importance of living according to God’s ways.

1. Jezebel – The Queen of Idolatry and Deceit (1 Kings 16:31–2 Kings 9:37)

Jezebel, the wife of King Ahab, is one of the most notorious women in Scripture. She led Israel into idolatry, encouraging the worship of Baal and other false gods. She used manipulation and deceit to achieve her ends, even ordering the murder of innocent men, like the prophet Naboth, in order to seize his vineyard (1 Kings 21). Jezebel’s legacy is one of pride, wickedness, and opposition to God’s prophets, ultimately leading to her downfall.

Lesson: Jezebel’s story teaches us the dangers of idolatry, manipulation, and unrepentant pride. We should avoid using deceitful means to gain power or achieve our desires. True fulfillment comes through humility and obedience to God, not through manipulation or self-serving actions.

2. Delilah – The Betrayer (Judges 16:4-22)

Delilah’s story is infamous for her betrayal of Samson, the mighty judge of Israel. After being bribed by the Philistine rulers, she used her relationship with Samson to discover the secret of his strength—his uncut hair. Once she learned it, she betrayed him, leading to his capture and eventual death (Judges 16). Delilah’s love of money and desire for personal gain led her to destroy the man who trusted her.

Lesson: Delilah’s betrayal highlights the destructive power of greed and selfishness. We should be careful in relationships, ensuring that our motives are pure and rooted in trust and loyalty. Betrayal for personal gain can lead to irreversible harm.

3. Athaliah – The Power-Hungry Queen (2 Kings 11:1-20; 2 Chronicles 22:10-23:21)

Athaliah, the daughter of Jezebel, was a ruthless queen who sought to eliminate all potential heirs to the throne, including her own grandchildren, to secure her reign. After her son’s death, she slaughtered the royal family, only sparing her grandson Joash, who was hidden and later crowned king. Her reign was marked by idolatry and bloodshed, and she was eventually overthrown and killed.

Lesson: Athaliah’s thirst for power and her willingness to destroy others to maintain control serve as a stark warning against ambition at any cost. Seeking power through violence, manipulation, and destruction of others will only lead to downfall. God’s sovereignty and justice will prevail in the end.

4. Herodias – The Murderous Conspirator (Mark 6:17-29; Matthew 14:3-12)

Herodias, the wife of King Herod, is remembered for her role in the beheading of John the Baptist. When John publicly condemned her marriage to Herod (her uncle), Herodias held a grudge against him. She plotted with her daughter, Salome, to have John killed, demanding his head as a reward for Salome’s dance. Herodias’ desire for revenge led to a tragic loss of an innocent life.

Lesson: Herodias’ actions reveal the danger of harboring unforgiveness, bitterness, and the desire for revenge. Instead of seeking justice, her heart was filled with malice, leading to a senseless death. We should seek peace, forgiveness, and reconciliation rather than holding onto destructive anger.

5. The Woman of Tekoa – The Deceptive Schemer (2 Samuel 14:1-20)

The woman of Tekoa was sent by King David’s advisor, Joab, to convince David to reconcile with his estranged son Absalom. To achieve this, she used a fabricated story of her own family’s tragedy to manipulate David’s emotions. While she succeeded in her mission, she did so through deception and dishonesty, exploiting David’s compassion to sway his judgment.

Lesson: The woman of Tekoa’s story highlights the dangers of using deceit and manipulation to influence others. While we may be tempted to bend the truth for personal gain, God calls us to honesty and integrity, even in difficult situations.

6. Lot’s Wife – The Woman Who Looked Back (Genesis 19:15-26)

Lot’s wife is often remembered for one tragic action: she looked back at the burning city of Sodom when fleeing God’s destruction. Despite being warned not to look back, she did, and she was turned into a pillar of salt. Her longing for the comforts of her past life led to her demise.

Lesson: Lot’s wife represents the danger of holding on to past sins and worldly attachments. In moments of transition and growth, we must resist the temptation to return to familiar but destructive behaviors. Trusting God’s plan for the future is crucial to moving forward in faith.

7. Sapphira – The Liar (Acts 5:1-11)

Sapphira, along with her husband Ananias, lied to the apostles about the amount of money they had received from selling property, pretending to donate all of it while secretly keeping part for themselves. Their deception was discovered by the Holy Spirit, and they both fell dead as a result of their sin. Sapphira’s sin was not just lying, but attempting to deceive God and the community.

Lesson: Sapphira’s story teaches the destructive power of lying, especially when motivated by selfishness or greed. God sees all, and pretending to be something we are not can have severe consequences. Integrity and honesty are key to living in alignment with God’s will.

8. The Witch of Endor – The Practitioner of Sorcery (1 Samuel 28:3-25)

The Witch of Endor was a medium whom King Saul consulted when he was desperate to hear from the spirit of the deceased prophet Samuel. Despite the Lord’s commands against necromancy and sorcery, Saul sought her out for guidance. This act of disobedience and reliance on occult practices ultimately led to his downfall.

Lesson: The Witch of Endor represents the danger of seeking spiritual guidance outside of God’s will. Practices such as witchcraft, sorcery, and necromancy are forbidden because they turn us away from trusting in God and His sovereignty. We must be vigilant against seeking guidance from any source other than the Lord.

9. Hagar – The Bitter Outsider (Genesis 16:1-16)

Hagar, Sarah’s Egyptian maidservant, became the mother of Ishmael after Sarah, unable to have children, gave her to Abraham as a surrogate. Hagar’s bitterness towards Sarah and her prideful behavior caused tension and conflict in the household. Though she was a victim of her circumstances, her actions reflect an unwillingness to accept God’s timing.

Lesson: Hagar’s story teaches the importance of patience and trust in God’s plan. When we take matters into our own hands instead of waiting for God’s provision, it can lead to unnecessary conflict and heartache. God’s timing is always best.

10. Eve – The First Sinner (Genesis 3:1-24)

Eve, the first woman created by God, is infamous for her role in the Fall of humanity. She was deceived by the serpent into eating the forbidden fruit and then gave it to Adam. Her disobedience led to the expulsion of humanity from the Garden of Eden and the entrance of sin into the world.

Lesson: Eve’s actions highlight the consequences of disobedience and the temptation of sin. While we may face similar temptations in our lives, we must resist the urge to act outside of God’s commands. The story of Eve also reminds us of God’s grace and the hope for redemption through Christ.

Conclusion

The stories of these wicked women in the Bible serve as stark reminders of the destructive power of sin and the consequences of defying God’s will. Each of their actions led to harm, whether through pride, manipulation, deceit, revenge, jealousy, greed, disbelief or rebellion. However, their stories also offer us valuable lessons: to avoid pride, greed, deception, and unforgiveness, and to instead live in humility, honesty, patience, and obedience to God. By learning from their mistakes, we can strive to cultivate godly character and avoid the destructive traits that led to their downfall. May we look to these stories not just as warnings, but as opportunities to grow in wisdom and grace.

—————-

** Photo by Jelena Kostic at Pexels

Bullying – A Practical Guide for All Ages

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What is Bullying? Bullying is a harmful behavior that is repeated, intentional, and characterized by a power imbalance. It directly contradicts God’s command to “love your neighbor as yourself” (Mark 12:31). As Christians, we are called to address this behavior with compassion and courage.

Bullying can manifest in various ways:

• Physical bullying: Harming someone’s body or belongings.

• Emotional bullying: Intimidation, exclusion, or shaming.

• Verbal bullying: Teasing, name-calling, or threatening.

• Social bullying: Manipulating friendships, spreading rumors, or cyberbullying.

Cyberbullying, a modern form of bullying, occurs online and can be especially harmful because:

• It is often anonymous.

• It can happen at any time, invading a person’s home and peace.

• Victims may hesitate to report it due to fear or shame.

As Christians, it’s vital to remind ourselves and others that every person is made in God’s image (Genesis 1:27) and deserves dignity and respect.

Warning Signs of Bullying

Bullying can deeply impact individuals emotionally, mentally, and physically. Recognizing the signs allows us to intervene with care.

• Avoidance of specific places like school, work, or social settings.

• Unexplained physical complaints or injuries.

• Changes in mood, withdrawal from friends, or fear of digital devices.

• Significant drops in academic or professional performance.

Jesus teaches us to “carry each other’s burdens” (Galatians 6:2). By being attentive, we can help others find healing and hope.

Addressing Bullying at Home, Work, School, and Church

For Parents and Children

Parents are entrusted by God to nurture their children (Proverbs 22:6). Addressing bullying begins at home:

• Encourage open communication: Ask your child about their experiences.

• Questions like “Do you feel safe at school?” or “Has anyone made you feel uncomfortable online?” can open the door to honesty.

• Model Christ-like empathy: Teach your child to “be kind and compassionate to one another” (Ephesians 4:32) and reassure them that bullying is not their fault.

• Equip your child with courage: Share Proverbs 3:26, “For the Lord will be your confidence.” Teach practical strategies like seeking supportive friendships and walking away from bullies.

• Partner with the school: Work collaboratively with educators to address the issue in a way that reflects grace and justice.

For Adults

Bullying is not limited to children—it can occur in workplaces, social groups, and even churches. As adults, we are called to stand firm against injustice (Micah 6:8).

• Confront bullying with truth: Speak firmly but respectfully. Ephesians 4:15 reminds us to “speak the truth in love.”

• Seek support and accountability: Share concerns with trusted colleagues or leaders. Remember that God places us in community for mutual support (Ecclesiastes 4:9-12).

• Practice self-care through Christ: Turn to prayer, Scripture, and Christian counseling to navigate emotional challenges. Matthew 11:28 invites us to find rest in Christ.

In Schools

Schools should be places of safety and growth. Christian educators and students can make a profound difference:

• Promote kindness and inclusion: Share Proverbs 16:24, “Gracious words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.”

• Teach empathy: Help students understand the value of every person as a child of God.

• Address cyberbullying: Encourage respectful digital interactions and emphasize the call to “love one another” even in online spaces (John 13:34).

In Churches

Churches are meant to reflect the love and unity of Christ. However, bullying can happen even in spiritual communities.

• Lead by example: Church leaders must demonstrate respect and kindness, following Jesus’ example of servant leadership (John 13:14-15).

• Foster unity and reconciliation: Address conflicts directly, encouraging dialogue and forgiveness (Matthew 18:15-17).

• Create inclusive ministries: Ensure no one feels excluded by fostering programs that reflect the diversity of God’s kingdom.

What to Do if You or Someone You Know is Being Bullied

The Bible reminds us that God is “a refuge for the oppressed” (Psalm 9:9). Whether you’re experiencing bullying or supporting someone who is, take these steps:

1. Pray for strength and wisdom: Trust in God’s power to protect and guide you (Psalm 46:1).

2. Seek support from trusted individuals: Speak with a parent, teacher, supervisor, or pastor.

3. Avoid harmful situations: Stay in safe, supportive environments and seek godly counsel.

4. Report the behavior: Escalate concerns to appropriate authorities, trusting that God is a God of justice (Isaiah 30:18).

Self-Care and Mental Health: Restoring Hope Through Christ

Bullying can leave deep emotional scars, but God offers healing and hope.

• Find peace in God’s presence: Turn to Scriptures like Philippians 4:6-7 to experience God’s peace in times of distress.

• Seek help from Christian counselors: Don’t hesitate to involve professionals who share a biblical perspective on healing and wholeness.

• Celebrate your worth in Christ: Remember, you are fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14). Surround yourself with uplifting people who affirm your value in God’s eyes.

Final Thoughts

As Christians, we are called to confront bullying with love, courage, and faith. By leaning on God’s guidance, we can create environments of kindness, respect, and safety for all.

If you or someone you know is experiencing bullying, reach out for help—and trust that God is working to bring restoration and peace. Together, we can embody the light of Christ in a world that so desperately needs it.

Seeking Help and Support

If you or someone you know is experiencing bullying, remember that you are not alone. Reach out for help and trust in God’s promise: “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit” (Psalm 34:18). Below are resources to guide you toward safety and healing:

In the USA

• National Bullying Prevention Center (PACER): Offers resources for children, parents, and educators to address bullying. Visit pacer.org/bullying or call 1-952-838-9000.

• StopBullying.gov: A government resource that provides information on how to recognize, prevent, and address bullying. Visit stopbullying.gov.

• National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: If bullying has caused emotional distress, contact 988 (or 1-800-273-TALK) for immediate assistance.

• Christian Counseling Resources: Seek guidance from faith-based counseling services such as Focus on the Family (focusonthefamily.com) or the American Association of Christian Counselors (aacc.net).

In the UK

• National Bullying Helpline: Provides practical advice for individuals dealing with bullying. Call 0300 323 0169 or email help@nationalbullyinghelpline.co.uk.

• Anti-Bullying Alliance: Offers resources and campaigns to help prevent bullying in schools and communities. Visit anti-bullyingalliance.org.uk.

• Childline: A resource for children and young people facing bullying. Call 0800 1111 or visit childline.org.uk.

• Bullying UK (Family Lives): Support for families and individuals dealing with bullying. Call their helpline at 0808 800 2222 or visit bullying.co.uk.

Encourage your church community to support anti-bullying efforts by sharing these resources and fostering environments where individuals feel safe and valued. Remember, “God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble” (Psalm 46:1).

*** Photo by Alexander Krivitskiy at Pexels

What the Bible Teaches About the Dead

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The Bible provides clear teachings on the state of the dead, resurrection, judgment, and eternal life. Scripture offers guidance on what happens after death, provides comfort for those who grieve, and warns against seeking contact with the dead. Below is an in-depth look at what the Bible explicitly states on these matters.

1. The State of the Dead

The Bible often describes death as a state of rest or sleep, implying a temporary condition before resurrection. The deceased are no longer aware of earthly matters, nor do they have any influence in the physical world.

• Ecclesiastes 9:5-6 – “For the living know that they will die, but the dead know nothing; they have no further reward, and even their name is forgotten. Their love, their hate and their jealousy have long since vanished; never again will they have a part in anything that happens under the sun.”

• Psalm 146:4 – “When their spirit departs, they return to the ground; on that very day their plans come to nothing.”

• Job 14:10-12 – “But a man dies and is laid low; he breathes his last and is no more. As the water of a lake dries up or a riverbed becomes parched and dry, so he lies down and does not rise; till the heavens are no more, people will not awake or be roused from their sleep.”

These verses emphasize that the dead do not engage with the living, nor are they conscious of events happening on Earth. Instead, they remain in a state of rest until the time of resurrection.

2. Resurrection and Eternal Life

The Bible teaches that death is not the final end. A resurrection will take place when God calls the dead to life. Jesus Himself emphasized this truth.

• John 11:25-26 – Jesus said, “I am the resurrection and the life. The one who believes in me will live, even though they die; and whoever lives by believing in me will never die.”

• 1 Thessalonians 4:16-17 – “For the Lord himself will come down from heaven, with a loud command, with the voice of the archangel and with the trumpet call of God, and the dead in Christ will rise first. After that, we who are still alive and are left will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And so we will be with the Lord forever.”

• Daniel 12:2 – “Multitudes who sleep in the dust of the earth will awake: some to everlasting life, others to shame and everlasting contempt.”

These passages affirm that there will be a resurrection, but the exact timing and details remain within God’s plan.

3. Judgment After Death

Scripture teaches that every person will face judgment, where they will be held accountable for their actions in life. This judgment determines their eternal destiny.

• Hebrews 9:27 – “Just as people are destined to die once, and after that to face judgment.”

• Revelation 20:12 – “And I saw the dead, great and small, standing before the throne, and books were opened. Another book was opened, which is the book of life. The dead were judged according to what they had done as recorded in the books.”

• Matthew 25:46 – “Then they will go away to eternal punishment, but the righteous to eternal life.”

These verses highlight that judgment will occur after resurrection, where individuals will either receive eternal life or face eternal separation from God.

4. Comfort for the Bereaved

The Bible acknowledges the pain of losing a loved one and offers reassurance that God is near to those who grieve. He promises comfort to the brokenhearted and strength for those who mourn.

• Psalm 34:18 – “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”

• Matthew 5:4 – “Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.”

• 1 Thessalonians 4:13-14 – “Brothers and sisters, we do not want you to be uninformed about those who sleep in death, so that you do not grieve like the rest of mankind, who have no hope. For we believe that Jesus died and rose again, and so we believe that God will bring with Jesus those who have fallen asleep in him.”

These passages assure believers that while grief is natural, there is hope in Christ’s promise of resurrection and eternal life.

5. No Communication With the Dead

The Bible strongly warns against attempting to communicate with the dead. Seeking out spirits or engaging in practices such as necromancy and consulting mediums is condemned as detestable before God.

• Deuteronomy 18:10-12 – “Let no one be found among you who sacrifices their son or daughter in the fire, who practices divination or sorcery, interprets omens, engages in witchcraft, or casts spells, or who is a medium or spiritist or who consults the dead. Anyone who does these things is detestable to the Lord.”

• Isaiah 8:19 – “When someone tells you to consult mediums and spiritists, who whisper and mutter, should not a people inquire of their God? Why consult the dead on behalf of the living?”

• Leviticus 19:31 – “Do not turn to mediums or seek out spiritists, for you will be defiled by them. I am the Lord your God.”

These verses make it clear that the living should seek guidance from God alone, rather than attempting to communicate with the dead.

Conclusion

The Bible teaches that the dead are in a state of rest, awaiting resurrection and final judgment. Scripture provides assurance that those who believe in Christ will have eternal life, while those who reject God will face judgment. The Bible also offers comfort for those who mourn and warns against attempting to contact the dead. Ultimately, it directs believers to trust in God’s promises and seek Him for guidance and understanding.

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** Photo by Ren Lavsad at Pexels

Handling Disagreements in Marriage

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Key Quotes

“As the ‘head of the household,’ I believe the man should take it upon himself to lead by apologizing for his part first, even if he feels 99.9% of the blame is with his wife.”

” As I have often told newly wedded brothers, spiritual leadership is primarily comprised of being the first person in the relationship to die to yourself. “

“Seeking God individually first, examining my own heart (and asking Him to search my heart and reveal whether there’s any offense there), eagerly resolved to make right anything He reveals to me, is the more productive and fruitful path to restoring my earthly relationship than belaboring various viewpoints and tactics in a discussion.”

Full Article

Disagreements in human relationships are inevitable, even among those who are sincere believers. As Christians, we believe there are certain things which we should never even consider in times of difficulty. For example, when we are upset, we will never even consider killing our opponent. It’s laughable to even think that’s a possibility. In the same way, in marriage, we do not even consider divorce to be an option in resolving our disagreements. Divorce should be as unthinkable an option among spouses in marriage as murder is unthinkable among friends in an argument. 

In addition to knowing what not to do, it’s important to know what TO do in tough times. We should seek for tools to resolve our conflicts in a healthy, constructive manner. 

In my own marriage, remembering the following two things has helped tremendously:

I must be the first to die to myself 

There’s almost never a circumstance where the blame is 100% on one party alone. Both parties own some portion of the responsibility for any disagreement. As the “head of the household,” I believe the man should take it upon himself to lead by apologizing for his part first, even if he feels 99.9% of the blame is with his wife. (It’s incredibly unlikely that this felt proportion reflects reality)

One thing I have learned is that I must not apologize hoping to trigger reciprocity. My goal should not be to get my wife to “apologize back,” but rather to genuinely confess and own up to my responsibility. Sure, I may wish my wife would apologize, but that is a fleshly desire. I need to die to my will and my own desires, and seek instead to only be responsible for and concerned about my own shortcomings in the matter in question.  

There’s a lot of talk about the husband being a “spiritual leader” in the Christian world today. As I have often told newly wedded brothers, spiritual leadership is primarily comprised of being the first person in the relationship to die to yourself. There are all sorts of worldly ideas pervading Christendom about what it means for the man to be the head: about commanding respect, being obeyed, being the ruler of the home, etc. These are all wrong notions. To learn what true spiritual leadership is, we must look to Jesus Christ as our spiritual Head, and the Husband of His Church. Looking to our own Head and seeing how He spiritually led His Church, we see Jesus’s spiritual leadership defined by denying His own will every day, dying to Himself, looking to His Father, depending on the Holy Spirit, carrying His cross, and coming up underneath us in service and love. He never demanded respect, or forced obedience, but rather set the example of humble submission and obedience to the will of God the Father. 

This is what we as men in the home should do as well: set the example of humble submission to God as our spiritual act of leadership. 

Seek restoration of my relationship with God first

One picture that has really helped me think about resolving conflicts/ disagreements in my own marriage is that of the hands playing a piano. These hands can be compared to the husband and wife in a marriage. Think of when a player’s hands play beautifully. They are coordinated not through efforts of their own, time spent together in a kangaroo pocket, etc, but rather simply because they’re both perfectly connected to the player’s head. 

In marriage, I used to think we needed to have lots of long talks to “get on the same page,” etc, which really only amounted to the hands “spending more time together;” it never actually put us in tune! I mistakenly thought that unity was a function of coordination and communication, but more coordination and communication did not result in more unity; often, my own efforts only resulted in greater disunity. 

When I saw that if the hands aren’t coordinated, it means one of them must disconnected from the player’s head, it all made sense! Disconnection is paralysis, and we can’t expect a pianist with a paralyzed hand to play beautifully. Likewise, in marriage, we don’t need to spend more time together as paralyzed members; we need to seek to be restored to perfect connection with our Head! 

Seeking God individually first, examining my own heart (and asking Him to search my heart and reveal whether there’s any offense there), eagerly resolved to make right anything He reveals to me, is the more productive and fruitful path to restoring my earthly relationship than belaboring various viewpoints and tactics in a discussion. 

As we have done this, we have found many disagreements completely fade away entirely, needing no further discussion. When we do desire further conversation, we can engage fruitfully as members that have been restored to health as fully functioning, healthy hands.  Brother Zac Poonen has used the picture of the cross to describe all of our human relationships (the horizontal beam) in the context of our relationship with God (the longer vertical beam), and this picture is definitely true in marriage: no horizontal can thrive with a broken vertical; and almost all broken horizontals are really because of a broken vertical beam. 

God’s will for our marriages is that they would demonstrate the wonder of His redeeming love for us, reconciling us to perfect unity with Himself (Ephesians 5:31-32). These are a couple of ways in which we can personally seek to reflect His love in the disagreements that threaten to divide our marriages

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**By Jeremy Utley © Copyright – Jeremy Utley. No changes whatsoever are to be made to the content of the article without written permission from the author at NCCF Church / Photo by Studio 31 at Pexels