Category: Relationships

Walking in Your God-Given Confidence: Overcoming Jealousy, Criticism, and Toxic People

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How to recognize and navigate jealousy, manipulation, and criticism — without dimming your light or losing your peace.

When you start experiencing strange reactions at work—or anywhere—such as jealousy, unnecessary opposition, gossip, or being treated like a threat, it’s easy to assume something is wrong with you. In reality, it can be a sign of God’s hand on your life.

This is a familiar spiritual pattern—one seen in the lives of David, Joseph, and ultimately Jesus. People aren’t reacting to your mistakes; they’re responding to your light, your anointing, and the confidence you carry.

Confidence Attracts Criticism

When you walk in your purpose with faith and inner strength, your presence can expose the insecurities of others. Their reactions are rarely about you—they’re about what your light reveals in them.

Carrying God’s Holy Spirit gives confidence a deeper meaning. It’s no longer pride, but spiritual purpose. That kind of assurance can feel threatening to those still wrestling with darkness. You were never meant to dim your light to make others comfortable. When you carry the Light of God, it naturally pierces the darkness—and that disruption often stirs resistance.

True confidence isn’t loud or boastful. It’s steady, grounded, and rooted in knowing who you are, whose you are, and what you carry within. For some, that confidence is inspiring. For others, it exposes what they’ve tried to hide—and that’s when certain behaviors begin to surface.

Biblical Examples

David: Attacked for His Anointing, Not His Actions

David did nothing to Saul.

He honored him. He served him. He played music for him. He killed Goliath for Israel.

And still—Saul hated him. Why? Because Saul felt threatened by David’s favor, confidence, and God-given anointing.

“Saul was afraid of David because the LORD was with David.” — 1 Samuel 18:12

Your coworkers aren’t necessarily threatened by your words or actions. Your presence bothers them. Your confidence exposes their insecurity. Your light irritates their darkness. Just like David.

Joseph: Hated for His Dreams

Joseph’s brothers didn’t hate him because he did something wrong. They hated him because of what God placed in him:

His dreams His favor His calling His confidence His future greatness

Those things stirred jealousy and insecurity in others.

“They hated him even more because of his dream and his words.” — Genesis 37:8

Sometimes people react not to who you are right now, but to who you’re becoming. They can sense potential. They can feel elevation coming. Your destiny bothers their demons.

Jesus: Rejected for His Light

If the perfect Son of God was criticized, attacked, mocked, misunderstood, and plotted against, we can expect to experience the same.

Jesus didn’t dim His light to make others comfortable. He didn’t shrink to ease their insecurity. He walked fully in His calling—even when the religious leaders were irritated by His authority, confidence, and truth.

“The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.” — John 1:5

Your confidence and spiritual glow are not arrogance—they are evidence of what you carry. And darkness always reacts to light.

The Truth About What You’re Experiencing

Your confidence threatens their insecurity. Your favor threatens their ego. Your light disturbs their shadows. Your potential makes them uneasy. Your spirit irritates whatever is unhealed or unclean in them.

It’s not personal—it’s spiritual. You’re not the problem. You’re the proof that God’s presence is with you.

The Spiritual Reality Behind What You’re Experiencing

This is where the situation shifts from psychological to spiritual.

Your light disturbs what is dark.

Your peace agitates hidden demons.

Your obedience exposes compromise.

Your refusal to conform becomes a reminder of God’s truth.

You are not being opposed because you are wrong — you are being opposed because you are aligned. Your life reflects truth others chose not to obey. When someone lives in partial obedience or outright rebellion, your faithfulness becomes conviction without words.

You don’t have to preach for this to happen. Your presence alone carries it.

Why Your Light Triggers Strong Reactions

Light does more than illuminate — it reveals.

And revelation is uncomfortable for those who have chosen darkness, denial, or compromise.

Your confidence confronts insecurity.

Your integrity exposes dishonesty.

Your obedience highlights rebellion.

Your growth reminds others of what they abandoned.

This is why the reaction often feels disproportionate. It isn’t about the moment — it’s about the mirror your life holds up.

Common Reactions When Light Disturbs Darkness

– Attempts to Undermine or “Humble” You

When demons are disturbed, resistance often shows up as subtle criticism, dismissiveness, gossip, or passive attempts to shrink you. This isn’t correction — it’s discomfort with authority and conviction.

– Mislabeling Conviction as Arrogance

There is a difference between arrogance and grounded confidence. But those unwilling to submit to God’s truth often call obedience pride. What they resent isn’t your tone — it’s your refusal to compromise.

– Emotional Withdrawal or Avoidance

Some people pull away because your obedience reminds them of truth they ignored. Your peace exposes their unrest; your consistency highlights their inconsistency.

– Passive-Aggressive Criticism or Judgment

When conviction becomes too uncomfortable, it often turns into criticism. What they refuse to confront internally, they project externally.

– Competition, Comparison, or Resentment

Your favor, clarity, or progress may provoke rivalry or envy. Not because you invited it — but because your light challenges their comfort with stagnation.

It’s Not Personal — It’s Spiritual

This isn’t about personality clashes, communication styles, or misunderstandings.

It’s about:

Light versus darkness Obedience versus rebellion Truth versus compromise

Your life becomes a living witness. And witnesses convict — even in silence.

You are not the problem.

You are the proof that God’s presence is real, active, and uncompromised.

Why You Must Keep Shining

Your light is not vanity — it is testimony.

Your confidence is not ego — it is identity.

Confidence rooted in God reflects the Holy Spirit, not self-exaltation. Light always exposes darkness, and demons never remain comfortable where truth stands firm.

The discomfort your obedience causes is not your burden to manage. You are not called to dim what God ignited to preserve false peace.

What Uncompromising Confidence Looks Like

It looks like humility without insecurity.

Peace without apology.

Conviction without hostility.

Obedience without negotiation.

You continue walking in your calling even when misunderstood.

You respond with calm authority rather than defensiveness.

You lift others without shrinking yourself.

You reflect God’s truth without seeking approval.

When Your Light Exposes Darkness in Others

People with controlling or narcissistic tendencies often react most strongly to those who carry clarity, peace, confidence, and spiritual authority. These qualities expose insecurity, false identity, and resistance to God’s truth.

This is why the opposition can feel intense.

Demons recognize authority — even when people deny it.

Remember: those most disturbed by your light are often those most convicted by it.

Narcissistic Behavior in the Workplace: Why Your Confidence Triggers It

Narcissistic personalities thrive on control, admiration, dominance, superiority, and keeping others “small.” Their sense of stability depends on feeling above others.

When someone enters a space with confidence, competence, emotional stability, peace, spiritual grounding, and a strong identity, it threatens that fragile structure. Your presence challenges their need for control—and that’s when problems begin.

How Narcissistic Insecurity Shows Up

When threatened, narcissistic or deeply insecure individuals often respond with predictable behaviors: subtle put-downs, gossip, competition, attempts to undermine you, anger when you don’t fold, silent treatment, passive aggression, triangulation (turning others against you), and ultimately reframing you as “the problem.”

This is textbook narcissistic insecurity. Narcissists can sense strength—and they resent it.

The Spiritual Side: Why Light Triggers Them

As stated before, your light irritates their demons.

Narcissistic traits flourish in insecurity, pride, ego, manipulation, fear, and the need for control. God-given light threatens that darkness.

People with narcissistic tendencies are deeply uncomfortable around truth, confidence, emotional maturity, spiritual discernment, kindness, and genuine peace—because those qualities expose what they work hard to hide.

This is why narcissists are triggered by people who walk in identity and favor.

When Your Confidence Increases, Their Mask Slips

Narcissists cannot tolerate someone who is not intimidated, does not seek their approval, does not fold under pressure, and remains calm, grounded, and joyful.

The more confident and steady you become, the more their behavior escalates—because your presence reveals everything they try to conceal.

Biblical Pattern + Psychology: The Same Story

David triggered Saul’s jealousy.

Joseph triggered his brothers’ envy and inferiority.

Jesus triggered the Pharisees’ pride and insecurity.

In every case, the chosen one did nothing wrong. The opposition flowed from insecurity, and the response became manipulative, controlling, or abusive. Yet the chosen one rose anyway.

This pattern appears both in Scripture and in modern psychology.

What You’re Experiencing: The “Narcissistic Infection Effect”

One toxic person can shift an entire atmosphere.

They begin by gossiping subtly—not with direct accusations, but with “concerns,” jokes, or observations. These seeds are absorbed without people realizing they’re being influenced.

They use triangulation, saying things like “Everyone’s noticed…” or “People have been saying…” to turn others against you. They play the victim to gain sympathy, act like the “concerned friend” to mask jealousy, and slowly isolate you by filtering how others see you.

Before long, people grow distant or judgmental—without you doing a single thing wrong.

Why They Chose You as the Target

Narcissistic or deeply insecure people target those who are confident, skilled, liked, spiritually grounded, independent thinkers, not easily manipulated, and not intimidated.

Your presence exposes their insecurity. Their unspoken goal becomes: If I can’t shine, I’ll dim their light.

But here’s the truth: you can only dim someone’s light if they allow it. You haven’t—and that’s why the behavior escalates.

How They Pull Others In

Those around them—especially weaker or more insecure individuals—often become easily influenced. They don’t want to be the next target, so they go along. They’re afraid to speak up, emotionally manipulated into thinking they’re being loyal, and drawn into drama under the belief that you are the problem.

This creates a “team-versus-you” dynamic that is both psychological and spiritual.

Scripture shows this clearly: one jealous brother infected the others against Joseph. Saul turned Israel against David through fear and lies. The Pharisees manipulated crowds who once loved Jesus.

One insecure person can poison many—until truth surfaces.

The Good News: The Infection Never Lasts

Toxic influence always burns out. Manipulation cannot stand forever. Truth eventually exposes the manipulator, and the one targeted is elevated.

Joseph became a ruler.

David became king.

Jesus rose in glory.

The pattern never changes.

When One Narcissistic Person Infects a Workplace

Psychology recognizes this behavior as triangulation, projection, smear campaigns, group manipulation, and the use of “flying monkeys.”

A narcissist cannot tolerate someone they can’t control, intimidate, or overshadow. So they isolate you indirectly—planting doubt, spreading concern-based gossip, recruiting others through fear, playing the victim, and reframing you as the issue.

Soon, people who once treated you warmly act differently—not because of who you are, but because of what they’ve been fed.

Psychological Reality Meets Spiritual Truth

Narcissists are drawn to people who are confident, don’t seek approval, can’t be controlled, peaceful, purposeful, and spiritually grounded.

Your confidence threatens their façade.

Your peace threatens their chaos.

Your purpose threatens their stagnation.

In other words, your light irritates everything in them that is dark, unhealed, or insecure. This is both psychological truth and spiritual warfare.

The Pattern Repeats—But So Does the Outcome

David was smeared.

Joseph was betrayed.

Jesus was falsely accused.

One insecure person can turn many cold—until truth is revealed.

And when it is, the chosen one rises.

Final Word: Keep Shining

What you’re experiencing is not personal—it is spiritual and psychological.

Confidence exposes insecurity.

Light exposes darkness.

Purpose exposes jealousy.

Favor exposes pride.

Narcissists react to what threatens them, not to who you truly are.

So keep shining. Keep walking in your purpose. Keep carrying the Holy Spirit boldly. Never dim your God-given light to make someone else comfortable in darkness.

Your rise is coming. Nothing—and no one—can stop what God has ordained.

———————

** By Ricardo Gomez Angel at Unsplash

10 Wicked Women in the Bible: Lessons on Avoiding Destructive Traits

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The Bible is rich with stories of women whose actions exemplified both righteousness and wickedness, offering lessons that resonate across time. While the virtuous women of Scripture are often celebrated, the wicked women serve as cautionary tales, revealing the destructive consequences of sin, selfishness, and rebellion against God’s will. These women’s stories highlight traits we should avoid in our own lives. In this article, we explore the 10 most wicked women in the Bible, examine their actions, and reflect on the lessons they teach us about the dangers of sin and the importance of living according to God’s ways.

1. Jezebel – The Queen of Idolatry and Deceit (1 Kings 16:31–2 Kings 9:37)

Jezebel, the wife of King Ahab, is one of the most notorious women in Scripture. She led Israel into idolatry, encouraging the worship of Baal and other false gods. She used manipulation and deceit to achieve her ends, even ordering the murder of innocent men, like the prophet Naboth, in order to seize his vineyard (1 Kings 21). Jezebel’s legacy is one of pride, wickedness, and opposition to God’s prophets, ultimately leading to her downfall.

Lesson: Jezebel’s story teaches us the dangers of idolatry, manipulation, and unrepentant pride. We should avoid using deceitful means to gain power or achieve our desires. True fulfillment comes through humility and obedience to God, not through manipulation or self-serving actions.

2. Delilah – The Betrayer (Judges 16:4-22)

Delilah’s story is infamous for her betrayal of Samson, the mighty judge of Israel. After being bribed by the Philistine rulers, she used her relationship with Samson to discover the secret of his strength—his uncut hair. Once she learned it, she betrayed him, leading to his capture and eventual death (Judges 16). Delilah’s love of money and desire for personal gain led her to destroy the man who trusted her.

Lesson: Delilah’s betrayal highlights the destructive power of greed and selfishness. We should be careful in relationships, ensuring that our motives are pure and rooted in trust and loyalty. Betrayal for personal gain can lead to irreversible harm.

3. Athaliah – The Power-Hungry Queen (2 Kings 11:1-20; 2 Chronicles 22:10-23:21)

Athaliah, the daughter of Jezebel, was a ruthless queen who sought to eliminate all potential heirs to the throne, including her own grandchildren, to secure her reign. After her son’s death, she slaughtered the royal family, only sparing her grandson Joash, who was hidden and later crowned king. Her reign was marked by idolatry and bloodshed, and she was eventually overthrown and killed.

Lesson: Athaliah’s thirst for power and her willingness to destroy others to maintain control serve as a stark warning against ambition at any cost. Seeking power through violence, manipulation, and destruction of others will only lead to downfall. God’s sovereignty and justice will prevail in the end.

4. Herodias – The Murderous Conspirator (Mark 6:17-29; Matthew 14:3-12)

Herodias, the wife of King Herod, is remembered for her role in the beheading of John the Baptist. When John publicly condemned her marriage to Herod (her uncle), Herodias held a grudge against him. She plotted with her daughter, Salome, to have John killed, demanding his head as a reward for Salome’s dance. Herodias’ desire for revenge led to a tragic loss of an innocent life.

Lesson: Herodias’ actions reveal the danger of harboring unforgiveness, bitterness, and the desire for revenge. Instead of seeking justice, her heart was filled with malice, leading to a senseless death. We should seek peace, forgiveness, and reconciliation rather than holding onto destructive anger.

5. The Woman of Tekoa – The Deceptive Schemer (2 Samuel 14:1-20)

The woman of Tekoa was sent by King David’s advisor, Joab, to convince David to reconcile with his estranged son Absalom. To achieve this, she used a fabricated story of her own family’s tragedy to manipulate David’s emotions. While she succeeded in her mission, she did so through deception and dishonesty, exploiting David’s compassion to sway his judgment.

Lesson: The woman of Tekoa’s story highlights the dangers of using deceit and manipulation to influence others. While we may be tempted to bend the truth for personal gain, God calls us to honesty and integrity, even in difficult situations.

6. Lot’s Wife – The Woman Who Looked Back (Genesis 19:15-26)

Lot’s wife is often remembered for one tragic action: she looked back at the burning city of Sodom when fleeing God’s destruction. Despite being warned not to look back, she did, and she was turned into a pillar of salt. Her longing for the comforts of her past life led to her demise.

Lesson: Lot’s wife represents the danger of holding on to past sins and worldly attachments. In moments of transition and growth, we must resist the temptation to return to familiar but destructive behaviors. Trusting God’s plan for the future is crucial to moving forward in faith.

7. Sapphira – The Liar (Acts 5:1-11)

Sapphira, along with her husband Ananias, lied to the apostles about the amount of money they had received from selling property, pretending to donate all of it while secretly keeping part for themselves. Their deception was discovered by the Holy Spirit, and they both fell dead as a result of their sin. Sapphira’s sin was not just lying, but attempting to deceive God and the community.

Lesson: Sapphira’s story teaches the destructive power of lying, especially when motivated by selfishness or greed. God sees all, and pretending to be something we are not can have severe consequences. Integrity and honesty are key to living in alignment with God’s will.

8. The Witch of Endor – The Practitioner of Sorcery (1 Samuel 28:3-25)

The Witch of Endor was a medium whom King Saul consulted when he was desperate to hear from the spirit of the deceased prophet Samuel. Despite the Lord’s commands against necromancy and sorcery, Saul sought her out for guidance. This act of disobedience and reliance on occult practices ultimately led to his downfall.

Lesson: The Witch of Endor represents the danger of seeking spiritual guidance outside of God’s will. Practices such as witchcraft, sorcery, and necromancy are forbidden because they turn us away from trusting in God and His sovereignty. We must be vigilant against seeking guidance from any source other than the Lord.

9. Hagar – The Bitter Outsider (Genesis 16:1-16)

Hagar, Sarah’s Egyptian maidservant, became the mother of Ishmael after Sarah, unable to have children, gave her to Abraham as a surrogate. Hagar’s bitterness towards Sarah and her prideful behavior caused tension and conflict in the household. Though she was a victim of her circumstances, her actions reflect an unwillingness to accept God’s timing.

Lesson: Hagar’s story teaches the importance of patience and trust in God’s plan. When we take matters into our own hands instead of waiting for God’s provision, it can lead to unnecessary conflict and heartache. God’s timing is always best.

10. Eve – The First Sinner (Genesis 3:1-24)

Eve, the first woman created by God, is infamous for her role in the Fall of humanity. She was deceived by the serpent into eating the forbidden fruit and then gave it to Adam. Her disobedience led to the expulsion of humanity from the Garden of Eden and the entrance of sin into the world.

Lesson: Eve’s actions highlight the consequences of disobedience and the temptation of sin. While we may face similar temptations in our lives, we must resist the urge to act outside of God’s commands. The story of Eve also reminds us of God’s grace and the hope for redemption through Christ.

Conclusion

The stories of these wicked women in the Bible serve as stark reminders of the destructive power of sin and the consequences of defying God’s will. Each of their actions led to harm, whether through pride, manipulation, deceit, revenge, jealousy, greed, disbelief or rebellion. However, their stories also offer us valuable lessons: to avoid pride, greed, deception, and unforgiveness, and to instead live in humility, honesty, patience, and obedience to God. By learning from their mistakes, we can strive to cultivate godly character and avoid the destructive traits that led to their downfall. May we look to these stories not just as warnings, but as opportunities to grow in wisdom and grace.

—————-

** Photo by Jelena Kostic at Pexels

A Guide to Understanding and Addressing Bullying

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What is Bullying?

Bullying is a repeated, intentional behavior that exploits a power imbalance. It can occur in schools, workplaces, social groups, online spaces, or even in communities that are expected to be safe. Bullying is harmful and manipulative, and its effects can be long-lasting, impacting emotional, psychological, social, and physical well-being.

Forms of Bullying

Bullying can manifest in numerous ways:

Physical bullying: Harming someone’s body or belongings through hitting, pushing, theft, or vandalism.

Verbal bullying: Name-calling, teasing, threats, or degrading comments.

Emotional bullying: Intimidation, humiliation, belittling, shaming, or undermining a person’s confidence.

Social bullying: Collective isolation, exclusion from groups, spreading rumors, withholding important information, and manipulating friendships or social relationships.

Cyberbullying: Harassment, threats, or humiliation online via social media, messaging, or email, often anonymous and relentless, leaving victims with no safe space to retreat.

Bullying often combines several forms simultaneously. For example, social bullying can be accompanied by emotional manipulation, and cyberbullying may amplify verbal attacks.

Why People Bully

Individuals engage in bullying behavior for a variety of reasons. Some act out of a desire for control, dominance, or social power. Others may have insecurities, jealousy, or fear of being exposed, using bullying to deflect attention from their vulnerabilities. Some have learned aggressive or manipulative behaviors from past environments or family dynamics. Bullies often present a socially acceptable or competent exterior to hide harmful tendencies.

In group situations, bullying can escalate as individuals join in to protect themselves, gain favor, or conform to social pressures, especially when the bully is popular or influential. This group dynamic can make bullying more intimidating and difficult to address.

Why Victims Often Do Not Report

Victims frequently do not report bullying due to fear, shame, embarrassment, or uncertainty about how to respond. Many endure it silently, hoping it will die down, only to find the behavior escalates. Bullies frequently triangulate conflicts, drawing others in, spreading misinformation, or manipulating peers to isolate the victim. This can intensify the victim’s sense of powerlessness and encourage more people to participate, particularly if the bully is socially dominant.

Impacts on Victims

Bullying can affect individuals in multiple ways:

Emotional impacts: Anxiety, depression, fear, loss of confidence, and social withdrawal.

Physical impacts: Headaches, stomach aches, sleep disturbances, or other stress-related symptoms.

Social impacts: Isolation, loss of friendships, or reluctance to engage in school, work, or community activities.

Academic or professional impacts: Decreased performance, absenteeism, or disengagement.

Warning Signs of Bullying

Early recognition of warning signs is essential for timely intervention. Victims may exhibit:

Avoidance of certain people, places, or social situations. Sudden changes in mood, behavior, or personality. Unexplained physical injuries or complaints such as headaches or stomach aches. Withdrawal from friends, colleagues, or usual activities. Reluctance or anxiety about engaging with digital devices or online spaces. Decreased performance at school or work, missed deadlines, or frequent absenteeism.

Recognizing these warning signs can allow friends, family, educators, or colleagues to intervene and provide support before bullying escalates further.

Addressing Bullying

For Children

Parents and guardians play a critical role by encouraging open communication, creating safe spaces to discuss experiences, and teaching empathy and coping strategies. Practical steps include supporting children in forming healthy friendships, knowing when to remove themselves from harmful situations, and seeking help from trusted adults or school authorities. Schools play a key role by establishing anti-bullying policies, fostering inclusion and empathy, and responding promptly to cyberbullying with digital safety education.

For Adults

Bullying in adulthood can be subtle and complex, including exclusion from key information, undermining work or professional contributions, intimidation, or social manipulation. Adults can respond by documenting incidents, setting firm boundaries, seeking guidance from trusted colleagues or human resources, and escalating concerns through formal channels when necessary. Maintaining self-care through counseling, stress management, and supportive relationships is vital for coping with the impact of bullying.

Cyberbullying

Special precautions are needed for online harassment. Protective strategies include monitoring online interactions, using privacy settings, reporting harassment, and seeking support from trusted individuals or professionals. Communities, organizations, and institutions must foster cultures of accountability, respect, and inclusion to minimize opportunities for bullying to thrive.

Collective and Group Dynamics

Bullying often escalates in group settings. A popular or influential individual may orchestrate or encourage others to participate, using peer pressure, triangulation, or manipulation. Victims may be socially ostracized or misrepresented, reinforcing the bully’s control and isolation. Recognizing these patterns is essential in schools, workplaces, and social settings to prevent escalation and protect vulnerable individuals.

What Can Be Done About Bullying

Addressing and preventing bullying requires coordinated action from both individuals and organizations. Effective strategies include:

Recognize and acknowledge bullying: Understand its various forms and warning signs.

Document incidents: Keep detailed records for reporting or escalation.

Set boundaries: Clearly communicate limits and refuse to tolerate abuse.

Seek support: Engage trusted friends, family, colleagues, mentors, or professional advisors.

Report: Escalate concerns to schools, HR departments, or legal authorities when necessary.

Promote safe environments: Encourage policies, training, and programs that prevent bullying and support victims. Practice self-care: Prioritize mental and physical well-being, counseling, stress management, and supportive relationships.

Bullying thrives in secrecy and silence. By recognizing harmful behavior, standing firm in boundaries, supporting victims, reporting incidents, and creating accountable environments, individuals and organizations can reduce the prevalence and impact of bullying. Awareness, intervention, and consistent action are essential for creating communities where all individuals feel respected, safe, and valued.

Practical Strategies for Immediate Response

When facing bullying in real time, victims can use several practical strategies to protect themselves and respond safely:

Stay calm: Take deep breaths and avoid responding impulsively, which can escalate the situation.

Document immediately: Write down what happened, including times, dates, people involved, and witnesses. This creates a factual record for future reporting.

Set clear boundaries: If safe to do so, assertively communicate that the behavior is unacceptable. Simple statements like “I do not accept being treated this way” can establish limits.

Remove yourself if possible: Step away from the situation to reduce immediate risk and regain emotional control.

Seek support immediately: Contact a trusted friend, colleague, family member, or supervisor.

Having someone aware of the situation provides validation and protection.

Report through formal channels: Inform HR, school authorities, managers, or other relevant authorities.

Include documented evidence. Do not isolate yourself: Engage with supportive networks or professional help, such as counseling or advocacy groups, to process emotions and plan next steps.

Practice self-care: Prioritize physical and mental well-being through rest, healthy routines, and stress management techniques.

These strategies help victims respond safely, protect themselves, and prevent bullying from escalating further. Combined with organizational accountability and proactive measures, they form a comprehensive approach to reducing harm and fostering safer environments.

What to Do if You or Someone You Know is Being Bullied

The Bible reminds us that God is “a refuge for the oppressed” (Psalm 9:9). Whether you’re experiencing bullying or supporting someone who is, take these steps:

1. Pray for strength and wisdom: Trust in God’s power to protect and guide you (Psalm 46:1).

2. Seek support from trusted individuals: Speak with a parent, teacher, supervisor, or pastor.

3. Avoid harmful situations: Stay in safe, supportive environments and seek godly counsel.

4. Report the behavior: Escalate concerns to appropriate authorities, trusting that God is a God of justice (Isaiah 30:18).

Self-Care and Mental Health: Restoring Hope Through Christ

Bullying can leave deep emotional scars, but God offers healing and hope.

• Find peace in God’s presence: Turn to Scriptures like Philippians 4:6-7 to experience God’s peace in times of distress.

• Seek help from Christian counselors: Don’t hesitate to involve professionals who share a biblical perspective on healing and wholeness.

• Celebrate your worth in Christ: Remember, you are fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14). Surround yourself with uplifting people who affirm your value in God’s eyes.

Seeking Help and Support

If you or someone you know is experiencing bullying, remember that you are not alone. Reach out for help and trust in God’s promise: “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit” (Psalm 34:18).

Below are resources to guide you toward safety and healing:

In the USA

• National Bullying Prevention Center (PACER): Offers resources for children, parents, and educators to address bullying. Visit pacer.org/bullying or call 1-952-838-9000.

• StopBullying.gov: A government resource that provides information on how to recognize, prevent, and address bullying. Visit stopbullying.gov.

• National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: If bullying has caused emotional distress, contact 988 (or 1-800-273-TALK) for immediate assistance.

• Christian Counseling Resources: Seek guidance from faith-based counseling services such as Focus on the Family (focusonthefamily.com) or the American Association of Christian Counselors (aacc.net).

In the UK

• National Bullying Helpline: Provides practical advice for individuals dealing with bullying. Call 0300 323 0169 or email help@nationalbullyinghelpline.co.uk.

• Anti-Bullying Alliance: Offers resources and campaigns to help prevent bullying in schools and communities. Visit anti-bullyingalliance.org.uk.

• Childline: A resource for children and young people facing bullying. Call 0800 1111 or visit childline.org.uk.

• Bullying UK (Family Lives): Support for families and individuals dealing with bullying. Call their helpline at 0808 800 2222 or visit bullying.co.uk.

Encourage your church community to support anti-bullying efforts by sharing these resources and fostering environments where individuals feel safe and valued. Remember, “God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble” (Psalm 46:1).

*** Photo by Alexander Krivitskiy at Pexels

What the Bible Teaches About the Dead

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The Bible provides clear teachings on the state of the dead, resurrection, judgment, and eternal life. Scripture offers guidance on what happens after death, provides comfort for those who grieve, and warns against seeking contact with the dead. Below is an in-depth look at what the Bible explicitly states on these matters.

1. The State of the Dead

The Bible often describes death as a state of rest or sleep, implying a temporary condition before resurrection. The deceased are no longer aware of earthly matters, nor do they have any influence in the physical world.

• Ecclesiastes 9:5-6 – “For the living know that they will die, but the dead know nothing; they have no further reward, and even their name is forgotten. Their love, their hate and their jealousy have long since vanished; never again will they have a part in anything that happens under the sun.”

• Psalm 146:4 – “When their spirit departs, they return to the ground; on that very day their plans come to nothing.”

• Job 14:10-12 – “But a man dies and is laid low; he breathes his last and is no more. As the water of a lake dries up or a riverbed becomes parched and dry, so he lies down and does not rise; till the heavens are no more, people will not awake or be roused from their sleep.”

These verses emphasize that the dead do not engage with the living, nor are they conscious of events happening on Earth. Instead, they remain in a state of rest until the time of resurrection.

2. Resurrection and Eternal Life

The Bible teaches that death is not the final end. A resurrection will take place when God calls the dead to life. Jesus Himself emphasized this truth.

• John 11:25-26 – Jesus said, “I am the resurrection and the life. The one who believes in me will live, even though they die; and whoever lives by believing in me will never die.”

• 1 Thessalonians 4:16-17 – “For the Lord himself will come down from heaven, with a loud command, with the voice of the archangel and with the trumpet call of God, and the dead in Christ will rise first. After that, we who are still alive and are left will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And so we will be with the Lord forever.”

• Daniel 12:2 – “Multitudes who sleep in the dust of the earth will awake: some to everlasting life, others to shame and everlasting contempt.”

These passages affirm that there will be a resurrection, but the exact timing and details remain within God’s plan.

3. Judgment After Death

Scripture teaches that every person will face judgment, where they will be held accountable for their actions in life. This judgment determines their eternal destiny.

• Hebrews 9:27 – “Just as people are destined to die once, and after that to face judgment.”

• Revelation 20:12 – “And I saw the dead, great and small, standing before the throne, and books were opened. Another book was opened, which is the book of life. The dead were judged according to what they had done as recorded in the books.”

• Matthew 25:46 – “Then they will go away to eternal punishment, but the righteous to eternal life.”

These verses highlight that judgment will occur after resurrection, where individuals will either receive eternal life or face eternal separation from God.

4. Comfort for the Bereaved

The Bible acknowledges the pain of losing a loved one and offers reassurance that God is near to those who grieve. He promises comfort to the brokenhearted and strength for those who mourn.

• Psalm 34:18 – “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”

• Matthew 5:4 – “Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.”

• 1 Thessalonians 4:13-14 – “Brothers and sisters, we do not want you to be uninformed about those who sleep in death, so that you do not grieve like the rest of mankind, who have no hope. For we believe that Jesus died and rose again, and so we believe that God will bring with Jesus those who have fallen asleep in him.”

These passages assure believers that while grief is natural, there is hope in Christ’s promise of resurrection and eternal life.

5. No Communication With the Dead

The Bible strongly warns against attempting to communicate with the dead. Seeking out spirits or engaging in practices such as necromancy and consulting mediums is condemned as detestable before God.

• Deuteronomy 18:10-12 – “Let no one be found among you who sacrifices their son or daughter in the fire, who practices divination or sorcery, interprets omens, engages in witchcraft, or casts spells, or who is a medium or spiritist or who consults the dead. Anyone who does these things is detestable to the Lord.”

• Isaiah 8:19 – “When someone tells you to consult mediums and spiritists, who whisper and mutter, should not a people inquire of their God? Why consult the dead on behalf of the living?”

• Leviticus 19:31 – “Do not turn to mediums or seek out spiritists, for you will be defiled by them. I am the Lord your God.”

These verses make it clear that the living should seek guidance from God alone, rather than attempting to communicate with the dead.

Conclusion

The Bible teaches that the dead are in a state of rest, awaiting resurrection and final judgment. Scripture provides assurance that those who believe in Christ will have eternal life, while those who reject God will face judgment. The Bible also offers comfort for those who mourn and warns against attempting to contact the dead. Ultimately, it directs believers to trust in God’s promises and seek Him for guidance and understanding.

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** Photo by Ren Lavsad at Pexels

Handling Disagreements in Marriage

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Key Quotes

“As the ‘head of the household,’ I believe the man should take it upon himself to lead by apologizing for his part first, even if he feels 99.9% of the blame is with his wife.”

” As I have often told newly wedded brothers, spiritual leadership is primarily comprised of being the first person in the relationship to die to yourself. “

“Seeking God individually first, examining my own heart (and asking Him to search my heart and reveal whether there’s any offense there), eagerly resolved to make right anything He reveals to me, is the more productive and fruitful path to restoring my earthly relationship than belaboring various viewpoints and tactics in a discussion.”

Full Article

Disagreements in human relationships are inevitable, even among those who are sincere believers. As Christians, we believe there are certain things which we should never even consider in times of difficulty. For example, when we are upset, we will never even consider killing our opponent. It’s laughable to even think that’s a possibility. In the same way, in marriage, we do not even consider divorce to be an option in resolving our disagreements. Divorce should be as unthinkable an option among spouses in marriage as murder is unthinkable among friends in an argument. 

In addition to knowing what not to do, it’s important to know what TO do in tough times. We should seek for tools to resolve our conflicts in a healthy, constructive manner. 

In my own marriage, remembering the following two things has helped tremendously:

I must be the first to die to myself 

There’s almost never a circumstance where the blame is 100% on one party alone. Both parties own some portion of the responsibility for any disagreement. As the “head of the household,” I believe the man should take it upon himself to lead by apologizing for his part first, even if he feels 99.9% of the blame is with his wife. (It’s incredibly unlikely that this felt proportion reflects reality)

One thing I have learned is that I must not apologize hoping to trigger reciprocity. My goal should not be to get my wife to “apologize back,” but rather to genuinely confess and own up to my responsibility. Sure, I may wish my wife would apologize, but that is a fleshly desire. I need to die to my will and my own desires, and seek instead to only be responsible for and concerned about my own shortcomings in the matter in question.  

There’s a lot of talk about the husband being a “spiritual leader” in the Christian world today. As I have often told newly wedded brothers, spiritual leadership is primarily comprised of being the first person in the relationship to die to yourself. There are all sorts of worldly ideas pervading Christendom about what it means for the man to be the head: about commanding respect, being obeyed, being the ruler of the home, etc. These are all wrong notions. To learn what true spiritual leadership is, we must look to Jesus Christ as our spiritual Head, and the Husband of His Church. Looking to our own Head and seeing how He spiritually led His Church, we see Jesus’s spiritual leadership defined by denying His own will every day, dying to Himself, looking to His Father, depending on the Holy Spirit, carrying His cross, and coming up underneath us in service and love. He never demanded respect, or forced obedience, but rather set the example of humble submission and obedience to the will of God the Father. 

This is what we as men in the home should do as well: set the example of humble submission to God as our spiritual act of leadership. 

Seek restoration of my relationship with God first

One picture that has really helped me think about resolving conflicts/ disagreements in my own marriage is that of the hands playing a piano. These hands can be compared to the husband and wife in a marriage. Think of when a player’s hands play beautifully. They are coordinated not through efforts of their own, time spent together in a kangaroo pocket, etc, but rather simply because they’re both perfectly connected to the player’s head. 

In marriage, I used to think we needed to have lots of long talks to “get on the same page,” etc, which really only amounted to the hands “spending more time together;” it never actually put us in tune! I mistakenly thought that unity was a function of coordination and communication, but more coordination and communication did not result in more unity; often, my own efforts only resulted in greater disunity. 

When I saw that if the hands aren’t coordinated, it means one of them must disconnected from the player’s head, it all made sense! Disconnection is paralysis, and we can’t expect a pianist with a paralyzed hand to play beautifully. Likewise, in marriage, we don’t need to spend more time together as paralyzed members; we need to seek to be restored to perfect connection with our Head! 

Seeking God individually first, examining my own heart (and asking Him to search my heart and reveal whether there’s any offense there), eagerly resolved to make right anything He reveals to me, is the more productive and fruitful path to restoring my earthly relationship than belaboring various viewpoints and tactics in a discussion. 

As we have done this, we have found many disagreements completely fade away entirely, needing no further discussion. When we do desire further conversation, we can engage fruitfully as members that have been restored to health as fully functioning, healthy hands.  Brother Zac Poonen has used the picture of the cross to describe all of our human relationships (the horizontal beam) in the context of our relationship with God (the longer vertical beam), and this picture is definitely true in marriage: no horizontal can thrive with a broken vertical; and almost all broken horizontals are really because of a broken vertical beam. 

God’s will for our marriages is that they would demonstrate the wonder of His redeeming love for us, reconciling us to perfect unity with Himself (Ephesians 5:31-32). These are a couple of ways in which we can personally seek to reflect His love in the disagreements that threaten to divide our marriages

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**By Jeremy Utley © Copyright – Jeremy Utley. No changes whatsoever are to be made to the content of the article without written permission from the author at NCCF Church / Photo by Studio 31 at Pexels