Category: Christianity 101

Power Through Unity in The Church

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“Two can accomplish more than twice as much as one, for the results can be much better. If one falls, the other pulls him up; but if a man falls when he is alone, he’s in trouble…..And one standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer; three is even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken” (Eccl. 4:9-12-TLB).

You may remember the story from Aesop’s fables, where an old farmer taught an object lesson on unity to his three children, who were constantly quarreling among themselves. Taking a number of weak sticks, he showed them how the sticks could quite easily be broken individually, but when tied together in a bundle were almost impossible to break. Even the children of this world realise that there is strength in unity and fellowship. “The locusts”, the Bible says, “though small are unusually wise, for though they have no leader, they stay together in swarms (Prov. 30:27-TLB). Therein lies their safety and their power. In the church of Jesus Christ, we need to relearn this lesson.

The unity that the New Testament speaks of, is the unity of the members of Christ’s Body with one another, under the Headship of Christ – an organic unity and not an organisational one. It excludes those who are outside of the Body of Christ, even if they have the label `Christian’. There can be no union between the living and the dead. Those made alive in Christ through the new birth can find their spiritual unity only with others who have been similarly regenerated by God. Christian unity is forged by the Holy Spirit Who alone makes us members of Christ’s Body. The Bible exhorts us to “strive earnestly to guard the harmony and oneness produced by the Spirit” (Eph. 4:3-Amplified). Any unity formed by man is worthless.

Satan is a cunning foe and he realises that he cannot overcome a united Christian fellowship that lives under the authority of Christ and His Word. His strategy for warfare, is therefore, to begin by sowing discord, suspicion and misunderstanding among the members of a fellowship, so that he can paralyze them individually. Jesus said that the powers of Hell would not be able to overcome His church.

(Matt. 16:18). It is the church, the Body of Christ, that is promised victory in the battle against Satan. A believer standing in isolation from other believers may find himself defeated. Satan attacked Christ constantly during Christ’s life on earth, but was unable to prevail. Finally at the cross, Satan’s power over man was taken away from him by Christ (Heb. 2:14; Col. 2:15).

Today, Satan cannot attack the Risen Christ. His attacks are therefore directed at Christ’s Body, the church. Victory over Satan is possible only as we stand united against him, as a Body under the Headship of our Lord. In a fellowship of Christians, even if one member is not fulfilling his function, the power of the Body is, to that extent, weakened. Satan knowing this, seeks continually to isolate individual members of a group, or to divide the group (or church) into cliques. Either way, he succeeds in his aim. This is why we must be constantly on our guard against the wiles of Satan, lest he weaken the links between us and other members of the Body of Christ.

Jesus made many promises in relation to individual believers praying to God. But in Matthew 18:18,19, we have a promise made to a section of Christ’s Body praying in unison: “Whatever you bind on earth”, Jesus said, “is bound in heaven, and whatever you free on earth will be freed in heaven. I also tell you this – if two of you agree down here on earth concerning anything you ask for, my Father in heaven will do it for you” (TLB). The word translated “agree” in verse 19, is the Greek word “sumphoneo”, from which our English word “symphony” is derived. Jesus was referring in these verses to a unity among even two of His children that would be like a musical symphony. This implies more than just saying “Amen” at the end of another’s prayer. Symphony implies a deep harmony of spirit between those who are praying together.

When the fellowship of even a small group of Christians is like the symphony produced by a well-conducted orchestra, then (Jesus said) their prayers will have such authority that anything they asked for would be granted. Such a group of Christians would have authority to bind Satan’s power and to liberate Satan’s captives. The reason why such a fellowship could exercise such authority was explained by Jesus: “For”, He said, “wherever two or three are gathered together into My Name, there I AM in the midst of them” (verse 20-Amplified). Christ the Head is present with all His authority in the midst of such a fellowship, and therefore the powers of Hell can never stand against it. One reason why the church described in the “Acts of the Apostles” knew the reality of this authority was because they had this unity in their fellowship. “All of these (the 11 apostles) with their minds in full agreement devoted themselves steadfastly to prayer….. “And all who believed were united and together…..and day after day they regularly assembled in the temple with united purpose…… “And they (the apostles and other believers)… lifted their voices together with one united mind to God… (Acts 1:14; 2:44,46; 4:24-Amplified). Because they were integrated into one Body under the authority of Christ, they could exercise the Lord’s authority in prayer. They were not highly educated, they had no social influence and no financial backing, yet they turned the then-known world upside down for Christ. When Peter was locked up in prison, all of Herod’s forces could not stand against the power of that early church on its knees before God (Acts 12:5-11). Satan’s kingdom was shaken to its foundations by that church as it went forth as one Body, registering the victory and authority of Christ in human lives all over the Roman Empire (See Acts 19:11-20 for one example of this).

Today Satan ridicules the efforts of a disunited church trying to oust him from his strongholds by gimmicks, gadgets, conferences, theological knowledge, eloquence and trained choirs. None of these are of any avail against Satan. The church needs to know again the reality of being one Body united under the Headship of Christ. A fellowship of Christians properly related to each other, growing in love for one another and living in obedience to Christ and His Word is the greatest threat to the kingdom of the Devil on earth. Satan dreads nothing else as much as that.

Let us make it our prayer that the Lord will help us to live each day in the light of the glorious truth of our being one Body in Christ. As more and more Christians throughout the world begin to understand and to live by this truth, we shall assuredly see the church, though small in number, restored to her pristine glory, an instrument in God’s Hands to rout the forces of darkness and a channel of blessing to a needy world.

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** Copyright – Zac Poonen. No changes whatsoever are to be made to the content of the article without written permission from the author at CFC India.com / Photo by Aigars Neļķefrom Pexels

Be an Example by Your Life

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Timothy was a young man in the church in Ephesus, and there were many older people in that church. So Paul tells him not to let anyone look down on him because of his youth (1 Timothy 4:12). A young preacher can feel intimidated by older people in his church, particularly if some of them are rich and influential people. Paul urges Timothy not to allow them to intimidate him, but to be an example by his life, in the godly way he speaks, in the way he conducts himself, in his love for them, by his faith in the midst of all his trials, in the purity he has in his life and in every area. This is in direct contrast to what Paul said in 1 Timothy 4:1-4. False teachers merely teach, whereas true teachers teach by example. False teachers teach theories. True teachers teach by their lives. 1 Timothy 4:13 emphasises public reading of the Scriptures, because in those days, believers did not have Bibles. So the one who had a Bible had to read out large sections of it for the people to hear. Today, believers can read large sections of the Scripture at home.

Then Paul reminds Timothy that he needs something more than a good life and Scripture-knowledge. “Be a good example and give attention to Scripture” (1 Timothy 4:12, 13). That is good. But “don’t neglect the gifts of the Holy Spirit” (1 Timothy 4:14). Paul reminds Timothy that he had laid hands on him along with other elders to impart a spiritual gift to him. We need the gifts of the Spirit also to serve the Lord. We must “earnestly desire to prophesy” (1 Corinthians 14:1) – that is, to speak in such a way that our words go home to people’s hearts like an arrow, like the words of the prophets in the Old Testament, like the words that go out of God’s mouth that never return empty (Isaiah 55:11). To minister like that, we need the anointing of the Holy Spirit. Jesus needed it and we all need it too – all the time. This is not something we can get once for all. No. We must seek to be anointed at all times.

Young people: Don’t feel that you have to wait until you are 40 years old to serve the Lord. I was born again when I was 19 and baptised when I was 21. And I started preaching immediately. I didn’t know much then. But with the little I knew, I could teach the “A, B, C…” of the Christian life to those who knew less than me. As I grew up I could teach people more. A first-standard student can teach a kindergarten-student. Why do you have to wait until you are old before you start to preach God’s Word? The moment you are converted, start sharing with those who know less than you – especially with those who are not yet converted. Always be ready to share God’s Word and to seek God for the power of His Spirit to share it effectively.

In 1 Timothy 4:15, Paul urges Timothy to “take pains with these things.” A businessman takes a lot of pains to earn money and to establish his business firmly. If you are serious about the Christian life, you will take a lot of pains to study the Scriptures, seek for the gifts of the Spirit and cleanse your life from everything impure. One translation of this verse reads, “Be absorbed in them.” When you are absorbed with these things your progress will become evident to everybody.

Let me give you a negative example of what “being absorbed” with something can mean. A family was watching a popular television programme in their home and totally absorbed with it. Some thieves who knew that the family was thus occupied, quietly got into their house and stole whatever they could! And the family never knew about the theft until the TV programme was over.

In the same way, but in a positive sense, we can be so absorbed with Jesus Christ and His Word that the temptations of this world don’t attract us so much. And we won’t be chasing after the many things that worldly people chase after. If you live an “absorbed” life like that, you will make progress constantly. Every year you will be a better Christian and a more effective servant of the Lord.

In 1 Timothy 4:16, Paul urges Timothy to pay close attention to two areas: his life and his teaching. These are the two areas that we must watch constantly. Our life and our teaching must both be pure. Paul says that if we persevere in these two areas, we will save ourselves and others as well. We first need to save ourselves. Only then can we save others. What that means is: If you yourself have not been saved from some sinful habit, how will you be able to save others from it? If you preach above the level of your life, you will be a hypocrite and God will not bear witness to your words. We must be serious about our Christian life, just as businessmen are serious about the way they run their businesses. They are wholehearted about making profits. In the same way, we must persevere and give ourselves wholly to living for God and serving Him.

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^*Copyright – Zac Poonen. No changes whatsoever are to be made to the content of the article without written permission from the author at CFC India.com / by sculpies/Shutterstock/

What Is the Love Language of Acts of Service?

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God’s love should be reflected in our actions no matter how big or small the action is. So, let us honor God by serving and giving what He has given us. This is a true act of service to all.

In all things I have shown you that by working hard in this way we must help the weak and remember the words of the Lord Jesus, how he himself said, “It is more blessed to give than to receive” (Acts 20-35).

In Gary Chapman’s “Five Love Languages” there is one love language that is called “Acts of Service.” On the website, it says that these are the people that seek action rather than hearing words that pertain to affirmation. Even so, this does not mean that love-affirming words do not affect these people, it is that they view acts of service, both received and shown, as love.

For example, when Mary poured the expensive oil called “pure nard” on Jesus’ feet, she was performing an act of service to Jesus by anointing Him (John 12). But an even better example, the most important example is that Jesus came to serve and to give His life for us so that we could be saved.

“Not so with you. Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first must be slave of all. For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many” (Mark 10:43-45). 

Faith and Acts of Service

In James 2, the Bible talks about faith and works. The Bible says that “What good is it, dear brothers and sisters, if you say you have faith but don’t show it by your actions? Can that kind of faith save anyone? Suppose you see a brother or sister who has no food or clothing, and you say, ‘Good-bye and have a good day; stay warm and eat well’ — but then you don’t give that person any food or clothing. What good does that do?” (James 2:14-16).

Therefore, it is true that actions speak louder than words said. You can have the faith that your spouse will be healed or anything that you are believing in. Prayer is an act of service too. But many times, we believe and do not pray. 

Many times, we have faith and do not serve or act. Jesus’ act of service for us was sacrificing Himself by being tortured, bruised, battered, and dying the most horrible death that we deserved. No one can comprehend the love that God has for us by sending His Son to die for our sins. 

God did not have to do that, and Jesus did not have to go through with it all. But because of His love, His act of sacrificing His life for us is an act of service that no one could ever do again. My point is that serving one another is truly love as we are called to “love your neighbor as yourself” (Matthew 22:39).

Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments” (Matthew 22:37-40).

Serving Ourselves Vs. Others

If then there is any encouragement in Christ, if any consolation of love, if any fellowship with the Spirit, if any affection and mercy, fulfill my joy by thinking the same way, having the same love, sharing the same feelings, focusing on one goal. Do nothing out of rivalry or conceit, but in humility consider others as more important than yourselves. Everyone should look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others (Philippians 2:1-4).

One of the most difficult things to do in life is denying yourself to others. Showing love for others has our pride submitted to humility and service to God. But if we let our pride, our ways, or our own thoughts rule over our humility, then we are a disservice to God and others. We know what to do but do not (James 4:17) because of prideful, selfish reasons. 

Even the smallest acts that are selfish could be that you choose something that you wanted at the supermarket, and you do not ask your spouse if they want something too. That may seem very small and insignificant, but the small actions count too. 

Those small actions can lead to greater actions that could negatively affect the relationship. Hebrews 13:16 says,“Do not neglect to do good and to share what you have, for such sacrifices are pleasing to God.”

But knowing that you would rather serve yourself rather than others is not showing God’s love and grace to others. As hard as it may be, we have to learn to be more selfless and show God’s love to others.

The Greatest Mission of All

“Therefore, God’s chosen ones, holy and loved, put on heartfelt compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience, accepting one another and forgiving one another if anyone has a complaint against another. Just as the Lord has forgiven you, so you must also forgive. Above all, put on love — the perfect bond of unity. 

And let the peace of the Messiah, to which you were also called in one body, control your hearts. Be thankful. Let the message about the Messiah dwell richly among you, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, and singing psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs, with gratitude in your hearts to God. And whatever you do, in word or in deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him (Colossians 3:12-17).

Jesus asks us to go into the world to speak the Good News to all, to make disciples, heal the sick, raise the dead, and much more. He has commissioned us to do His work of saving the lost. This is an act of service. We love because He loves (1 John 4:19). 

We serve because He served us. We sacrifice because Jesus sacrificed His life for our sins. How could we hold back what we have learned from Jesus and not give that knowledge to others? We are chosen because God believes and trusts us to serve Him by speaking the Good News to the world. 

God’s love should be reflected in our actions no matter how big or small the action is. So, let us honor God by serving and giving what He has given us. This is a true act of service to all.

A Closing Prayer

Father, I thank you for giving us these revelations and showing us what true acts of service are. I thank you, God, for giving your Son so that we could live again. I pray for all of us to learn to be selfless and show your love to God to the world. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

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***By Heather Mashburn at Christianity.com

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What Is the Love Language of Receiving Gifts?

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Making an intentional effort to regularly bring presents to one’s spouse, family, children, or friend with this love language can tell them “I love you” and strengthen relationships through continued effort and acts of love.

According to Dr. Gary Chapman in his popular bestselling book, The Five Love Languages, there are five “love languages,” which communicate love to another person. Every person has their own “language” through which they feel loved. These different “love languages” include touch, acts of service, quality time, affirming words, and receiving gifts.

Based on the information in Dr. Chapman’s book, couples can invest in the quality of their marriage by being aware of their own primary love language and learning how their spouse feels loved through the five languages of love. While this method has been used by married couples, it also is beneficial in showing love to family, friends, and children.

One of the five love languages is receiving gifts. Those who identify with this “language” feel loved when they receive presents from others. Many people may misunderstand these acts as promoting materialism.

However, individuals who identify with this love language are not necessarily focused on the item they receive, but rather the tangible act of receiving an item that represents the other person’s love for them.

To help provide clarity to this topic, this article will look at what receiving gifts mean in regard to showing love to others, what this looks like in everyday life, how this love language correlates to Scripture, and why this information is important.

Representations of Love

A person whose primary love language is receiving gifts feels most loved when they receive gifts from those they love. These presents may be extravagant or simple, but a person with this “language” appreciates these keepsakes because of what they represent.

To them, the gift is much more than a material item since it reminds them that they are loved and cherished by someone. Oftentimes, people who most enjoy giving gifts to others, for special occasions or spontaneously, are the ones who have the love language of receiving gifts.

Throughout time, people around the world in various cultures have understood that giving and receiving gifts convey love to another person. Whether such gifts are jewelry, flowers, cards, poems, or music, gifts do have the power to tell another person, “I love you.”

Thus, those who know someone who values gifts as an act of love need to be aware of how important this is in their relationship. Regularly giving presents to a person who speaks this language is vital to ensuring they feel loved.

Even small gifts, such as a food item or a handwritten note, can make the other person’s heart fill up with the message that they are cherished. Doing this regularly out of a place of love for the other person will make a major difference in one’s marriage, family, or friendship.

With knowing the power of giving gifts, individuals need to be careful not to misunderstand or misuse this love language. First, the person who requires presents to feel loved is not being selfish or greedy.

Instead, they value gifts because of what the item represents. To them, presents have sentimental qualities and cause them to remember that they are loved by the person from whom they received the gift. In addition to avoiding any misunderstanding about receiving gifts to feel loved, individuals must also be aware of the danger of misusing this love language.

Potentially, a spouse or loved one could use another person’s primary love language against them by deliberately withholding acts of love.

Doing this can cause the other person to feel hurt and neglected, which is not a God-honoring way to act. Individuals should use the knowledge of love languages to strengthen their relationships with others instead of causing hurt.

How Can I Do This?

1. Remembering important days and holidays is essential. A wife whose love language is receiving gifts will eagerly await her anniversary and expect a present as a tangible expression of her husband’s love.

If he fails to remember the date and neglects to bring his wife a present, the message expressed to her will be, “I don’t care about our marriage.” However, if her husband remembers and provides a special gift, she will know that her husband does care about their marriage and still loves her just as much as the day they were married.

2. Giving gifts on ordinary days is also important. These gifts do not have to be lavishly expensive or dramatic. Instead, simple gifts on ordinary days of the week can also have a significant impact in expressing love. For instance, buying a friend a cup of coffee before heading to work can demonstrate one’s care.

Also, a parent can lovingly remind a child that they are thinking of him or her by packing a handwritten note in their lunchbox for school. Such gifts are simple, yet profound because it tells others that someone cares for them.

3. Giving gifts should stem from a heart of love toward the other person. A person whose love language is receiving gifts will benefit the most if they receive presents that are given from the heart. Truly, it is the “thought that counts” and not necessarily the gift.

Handing over items with a bad attitude or irritation will not make a loved one feel cherished. Instead, such an action would cause more damage than good. Thus, people must be careful not to present gifts to others by mere habit or duty, but rather from the sincerity of the heart (Romans 12:9).

The Connection to Scripture

Those who do not have the love language of receiving gifts as their own primary love language may find it challenging to understand how giving and receiving presents can be an expression of love to others.

However, the Bible also connects gifts with love, as shown in God’s loving gift of His Son and eternal life through Him. As John 3:16 states, “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”

God the Father gave His Son to die on behalf of mankind’s sins, which is the ultimate expression of love (Romans 5:8). Furthermore, salvation is a gift based on God’s graceand received by faith (Ephesians 2:8-9).

Based on Scripture, God clearly communicates in the love language of receiving gifts. He has graciously offered the gift of salvation to all who believe in Jesus’ death and resurrection (Romans 10:9-10). Truly, in Christ believers have been given all they need for life and godliness (2 Peter 1:3). The love of God is evident in what He has offered as a gift to all humans.

Christians have been the recipients of the amazing love of Jesus. In discussing the topic of presents, however, receiving gifts must be kept in balance with giving to others. Jesus did say, “It is more blessed to give than to receive” (Acts 20:35).

Because of the love He has freely given, followers of Christ can also freely give to others, both in the form of love as well as material needs or gifts.

Since those who value receiving gifts as a form of love are also often the ones who enjoy gifting others to show love, giving can often come naturally. All people, regardless of love language, should strive to give of themselves just as Christ did (John 15:13). In doing so, they can model the wonderful love of God to others.

Why Is This Important?

Generally, Dr. Chapman’s book on love languages has greatly impacted how married couples, families, and friends interact with each other and deepen their relationships.

Both secular and Christian counselors utilize the methods discussed in Dr. Chapman’s numerous books on the topic of love languages for couples, singles, teenagers, and children. Understanding how others feel most loved can enable individuals to love others better in a way that reflects God’s love.

Through knowledge about the love language of receiving gifts, people can be equipped to express love to those who have this primary love language.

Making an intentional effort to regularly bring presents to one’s spouse, family, children, or friend with this love language can tell them “I love you” and strengthen relationships through continued effort and acts of love.

Those who take the time to learn about the “language” their loved ones speak are demonstrating sacrificial love and concern for others, which reflects Christ’s love to a watching world (John 13:34).

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***By Sophia Bricker at Christianity.com

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What Is the Love Language Of Quality Time?

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Love and time have always enjoyed a strong relationship. Love makes our time more fulfilling, and time seasons our love—giving it depth and meaning. It’s no wonder then that Dr. Gary Chapman joins the two by listing quality time as one of the big five in his bestselling book The Five Love Languages. But is the Quality Time love language a dialect that has become more difficult to speak—and hear—in our noisy world?

In What Are The Five Love Languages, Brittany Rust explains that Quality Time is not just about being in the same room with someone. “The quality time love language is focused, undivided and uninterrupted attention, despite busyness and business.” And therein lies the challenge. Distraction is the enemy of attention.

Our culture is on a mission to provide purposeful distractions to fill every spare moment, and we’ve readily embraced them. We tend to scroll during lulls in conversation, click or swipe at the prompt of every ping, and are quick to interrupt life so that we can post about it. In light of this, how can we resist the lure of distraction, to show love to others—especially those who speak Quality Time as their primary love language? 

What Are the Five Love Languages?

According to Dr. Chapman, in Languages of Love, “Each of us speaks and understands a unique love language that makes it easy for us to feel loved. If you try to communicate using only your native language, it may be foreign to your husband or wife. To be understood, you need to know – and speak – your spouse’s language.”

Although Dr. Chapman’s original book, written 30 years ago and acclaimed ever since focused on the relationship of marriage—the five love language pillars can be applied to any relationship that requires mutual understanding and respect. In John 13:34 Jesus gives us a new command. “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.”

God’s love can shine brightly through us when we humble ourselves and love others in ways that speak to them personally. Here’s a breakdown of the five love languages:

Words of Affirmation

Uplifting and encouraging words enrich the hearts of those whose love language is Words of Affirmation. If this is you, you receive love best through verbal or written communication. A heartfelt card, email, or text means more to you than anything more tangible. You tend to listen closely during personal conversations and hang on every word so that you can store those words in your heart as a treasure. To you, “Gracious words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones” Proverbs 16:24.

Acts of Service

If you believe that actions speak louder than words, or a helpful act of kindness makes you feel valued then Acts of Service may be your love language. This love language treasures the investment of energy on the part of the giver. When someone goes out of their way to complete a task for your benefit you feel loved. These acts don’t have to be grand gestures. Sometimes a small act, in response to a deep need, goes a long way. “For I was hungry, and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me’” Matthew 25:35-36.

Physical Touch

A warm embrace, holding hands, a gentle kiss, and more intimate gestures of affection speak to your heart if your love language is Physical Touch. All humans have an innate desire to connect through physical touch. “Studies show that touch is a powerful way to convey meaning to another person, and that we interpret touch by way of who it is that is doing the touching,” says Dr. David B. Hawkins in Why Your Marriage Needs Physical Touch. But if Physical Touch is your love language this need may run deeper for you. You feel cared for when others reach across a void of space and offer a piece of themselves to bridge the gap. “Then Jesus, moved with compassion, stretched out His hand and touched him, and said to him, “I am willing; be cleansed” Mark 1:41 (NKJV).

Receiving Gifts

Tokens of affection are much more than material objects if your love language is Receiving Gifts. They are a symbol—tangible evidence that you are loved. Whether it’s an ornately wrapped present of great monetary value or your favorite candy bar tossed to you from across the room, makes no difference. The knowledge that someone went to the effort, thought, or expense of buying or making a special treat—just for you—makes you feel cherished. “Then the servant brought out gold and silver jewelry and articles of clothing and gave them to Rebekah; he also gave costly gifts to her brother and to her mother” Genesis 24:53.

Quality Time

If above all else, you crave one-on-one time with your loved one Quality Time is probably your primary love language. Quality time doesn’t have to involve a long weekend getaway. “Something as simple as … playing board games or cooking a meal together can go a long way toward strengthening the bond between you,” explains Betsey St. Amant Haddox in 10 Little Things All Healthy Couples Do Each Day. If Quality Time is your love language you feel valued when others purposefully set aside everything else to devote time to connect with you in meaningful ways. “When Jesus reached the spot, he looked up and said to him, “Zacchaeus, come down immediately. I must stay at your house today” Luke 19:5.

What Does the Quality Time Love Language Look Like?

At first glance, the definition of quality time seems like a no-brainer, but the concept gets more complicated when you consider that the word time—when used in the context of a love language—isn’t always measured by the hands of a clock.

The age-old debate about quality time vs. quantity time got a reboot in 2020. “For many, the ‘new normal’ is for both the husband and wife to work from home as their children attend school over the internet. Daily, parents across the nation juggle the obligations of working from home, running the household, refereeing arguments between siblings who are spending way too much time together, and figuring out how to get kids logged back into their Zoom class, all while trying to decipher Common Core math. It’s enough to make a grown-up cry, and it’s no wonder that even couples who are spending all of their time together are getting no actual ‘alone’ time to focus on their marriage,” observes Dolores Smyth in 9 Romantic Ways to Get the Quality Time You Need, Even during COVID

Sheltering in place has shown us more clearly than ever that it’s possible to be physically together for hours on end, without sharing one minute of quality time. Similarly, the quarantine has demonstrated that, through the aid of technology, genuine togetherness can be experienced even when we’re physically apart. Why? Because quality time equals undivided attention.

What Does the Bible Say about the Quality Time Love Language?

During his ministry on earth, Jesus did a great job of showing us exactly what the Quality Time love language looks like in action. He left the comforts of Heaven to be Immanuel—God with us. (Matthew 1:23) He initiated invitations and enjoyed leisurely meals with the sinners He came to save. (Mark 2:15), He was fully present and did not allow busyness, chaos, conflict—or even His own physical needs to distract him from intentional moments of connection (Mark 5:31-34, John 4, Matthew 19:14, Luke 23:43). Jesus recognized the needs of those He loved. When He sensed they were overwhelmed, He purposefully called them away from the crowds to a private place where they could be alone with Him to rest. (Mark 6:31) He dedicated distraction-free time each day to connect with the Father (Mark 1:35, Mark 6:46, Luke 6:12, Luke 9:18,28, Luke 11:1, Matthew 26:36-45; Mark 14:32-41; Luke 22:39-46).

How Do You Love Somebody Whose Love Language Is Quality Time?

Even though we live in a much different culture than Jesus did, we can still glean from His example. Here are a few ways we can resist the lure of distraction and love others through Quality Time as Jesus did:

Be proactive

Initiate an invitation to enjoy a meal or walk together. Part of the gift you give someone who values Quality Time is letting them know that you took the time—ahead of time—to plan togetherness and make it special.

Don’t let what’s urgent distract you from what’s important

Put away your phone. Our phones can be tools that bring us together or drive us apart. The choice is ours. In 4 Signs Your Phone Is Stealing Your Soul During Quarantine Heather Riggleman asks these probing questions: “What’s the first thing you do when you wake up in the morning? Do you roll over and kiss your spouse? Or do you grab your phone and start scrolling through social media or checking emails? Or what about this scenario: Your kids ask you a question, you reply, ‘Yeah, uh-huh just a second.’ They pester repeatedly but get the same response.”

Jesus may not have faced the same tech temptations we do, but he lived in a world full of people competing for his attention. Hordes of seekers constantly followed Him—begging for healing, hope, and truth. It was for them that Jesus had come, but He could have ministered around the clock and still not satisfied the voracious demands of all the people.

Where did Jesus draw the line? He had a mission, He stuck to that mission, and that mission guided him past the urgent to the important. If your mission is to spend Quality Time with the ones you love, choose to guard that time together. Set aside any device, thought, person, or project that might capture your attention during that time. Make a choice to be fully present.

Recognize others’ needs and cater your time together to meet those needs

Quality Time doesn’t always have to be spent in deep, meaningful conversation. That would be exhausting. Remember, Quality Time is more about attention than activity. If your loved one feels weary or overwrought one of the most loving things you can do is to call them apart for the purpose of resting and relaxing together.

Dedicate time together that you and your loved one can count on

Whether it’s setting up regular date nights for you and your spouse, a weekly parent-child outing, or even a routine coffee date with friends or family—the steady, reliable, and scheduled allotment of time between you and your loved one is considered Quality Time. The anticipation of those appointments can breathe hope into a hectic week and will be a lovely reminder to those who speak Quality Time that they meant enough to you to occupy a regular space on your calendar.

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***By Annette Marie Griffin at Christianity.com

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