“Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” ~ Proverbs 4:23 (NIV)
This is part 3 of a 5-part series on guarding your heart in relationships. As women, we are nurturing by nature and referred to in the Bible as the “weaker vessel” (1 Peter 3:7). This isn’t a reflection of value but a design that calls us to be helpers to men, wired to bring support and care into relationships. Men instinctively know this about us, and while this dynamic can bring balance and beauty, it also leaves room for misuse when not approached with God’s wisdom and guidance.
Navigating relationships as a woman is both rewarding and challenging. The desire for meaningful connection is God-given, but it is essential to protect your heart from those who might exploit your trust and affection. This article will help you recognize emotional manipulation, safeguard your heart, and keep your relationships aligned with God’s design.
Understanding the Issue
In Christian communities, marriage is often emphasized as the goal of relationships. Traditionally, men are seen as leaders in pursuing this commitment. However, some misuse this dynamic, taking advantage of women’s nurturing nature to gain emotional support, companionship or even material benefits without the intention of genuine commitment, dodging the responsibility and accountability God places on the man.
This behavior distorts the biblical model of relationships, which calls for love, mutual respect, and service. Scripture, especially passages like 1 Corinthians 13 and Ephesians 5:25, reminds us that relationships should reflect Christ-like love. When someone enjoys the benefits of a relationship—such as emotional support or marital privileges—without accountability, it can leave women feeling devalued and disrespected.
How Women Can Protect Themselves
Guarding your heart requires awareness, boundaries, and trust in God’s plan for your life. Below are practical steps to help you stay vigilant and protect yourself from emotional manipulation.
1. Recognize Red Flags Early On
Understanding warning signs can save you from heartache.
Signs to Watch For:
• He avoids discussing long-term plans or commitment.
• He benefits emotionally, practically, or financially but does not reciprocate.
• He dodges conversations about defining the relationship or its future.
What to Do:
• Trust patterns, not promises. Actions speak louder than words.
• If he consistently avoids clarity, prayerfully consider whether the relationship is aligned with God’s will.
2. Set Healthy Boundaries
Boundaries are essential for protecting your emotional and spiritual well-being.
Practical Steps:
• Define your boundaries early and communicate them clearly.
• Avoid giving “marital privileges” without a commitment, such as deep emotional investment, financial support, or physical intimacy.
• Stand firm when someone pressures you to compromise your values.
3. Avoid Rushing into Emotional Investment
Deep emotional connections should develop gradually, based on proven sincerity.
Suggestion:
• Take time to assess his character and intentions.
• Observe his response to your boundaries. Respect is a crucial indicator of genuine love.
• Trust God’s timing and allow relationships to grow organically.
4. Seek Accountability and Godly Counsel
Sometimes emotions can cloud judgment. Trusted counsel can help you see clearly.
Why It’s Important:
• Trusted friends, mentors, or spiritual leaders provide objective insights.
• A godly community helps you stay grounded in biblical principles.
5. Embrace Your Value and Worth in Christ
Your identity is rooted in Christ, not in a relationship or another person’s validation.
Reminders:
• Reflect on Psalm 139:14: “I am fearfully and wonderfully made.”
• When you know your worth in God’s eyes, you won’t settle for less than His best for you.
What to Look for in a Healthy Relationship
A godly relationship should reflect the principles of love, respect, and mutual commitment. Seek these qualities in a potential partner:
• Respect: He honors your boundaries and values your emotions.
• Clear Intentions: He communicates openly and aligns his actions with his words.
• Sacrificial Love: He demonstrates Christ-like love through selflessness and support.
• Accountability: He welcomes godly counsel and community oversight.
Taking Control of the Situation
If you notice red flags or feel uncertain about someone’s intentions, take proactive steps to protect your heart:
1. Clarify Your Own Needs: Align your relationship expectations with God’s principles.
2. Evaluate Actions Over Words: Look for consistency between what he says and does.
3. Have a Direct Conversation: Express your concerns openly and see how he responds.
4. Be Willing to Walk Away: If he doesn’t respect your boundaries or intentions, trust God’s plan and let go.
Conclusion
Relationships are designed to reflect God’s love—honest, sacrificial, and committed. Emotional manipulation undermines this purpose and can leave women feeling used and devalued. By staying vigilant, setting boundaries, and seeking godly counsel, you can protect your heart and honor both God and yourself in your relationships.
It’s essential to remember that you cannot change a person—only God can transform hearts. Men are not “build-a-bear” projects, and it’s not your responsibility to fix or mold someone into who you hope they could be. Trying to do so often leads to frustration and heartache.
The fear of being alone or not finding someone can make it tempting to settle for less than God’s best. But settling out of fear compromises your values and leads to unfulfilling relationships. Trust God’s timing, knowing that He has good plans for you (Jeremiah 29:11).
Never forget: your worth is found in Christ, not in a man’s approval. True love reflects God’s design, where respect, integrity, and godliness thrive. Stay rooted in His Word, embrace your identity in Him, and let Him guide you toward relationships that bring joy, growth, and lasting love.
“Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” ~ Proverbs 4:23 (NIV)
This is part 1 of a 5 part series. One of the significant struggles for many single Christian women today is dealing with sexual temptation, especially in relationships. In a world that bombards us with messages about sex, it can be incredibly difficult to stand firm in biblical principles. Maybe you’ve been in a situation where your boyfriend has pressured you for sex, or you’ve felt overwhelmed by your own desires. The chemistry between you is undeniable, and the longing for intimacy is natural—but what should guide your decisions: your feelings or God’s Word?
As Christian women, we are called to live according to God’s standards, not the world’s. While culture changes and continues to blur the lines around sexual purity, God remains the same: yesterday, today, and forever (Hebrews 13:8). His Word is the foundation for how we are to live, and this includes our relationships, and no child of God lives in open rebellion.
Dating vs. Courting: God’s Design
Before we discuss sexual pressure, it’s essential to understand that God’s plan for relationships is different from the world’s. Christian women are called not to date casually but to enter into relationships with intentionality—what we call courting. The Bible teaches us that we are to pursue relationships with fellow believers who share our faith. “Do not be unequally bound with non believers. For what partnership can righteousness have with lawlessness? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?” (2 Corinthians 6:14). If you are dating someone who doesn’t follow Christ, the pressures to compromise your faith will be much greater.
When we court, we seek to glorify God in our relationships. This means we’re not driven by the desires of the flesh but by the desire to honor Him. Courting, unlike the worldly concept of dating, is not about casual romance or sexual exploration; it’s about seeking a godly partner with the ultimate goal of marriage.
God’s Word is clear about abstaining from sexual immorality. As followers of Christ, we must strive to live according to His commands. “It is God’s will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control your own body in a way that is holy and honorable” (1 Thessalonians 4:3-4, NIV).
Common Excuses: The World’s Lies
In relationships, some men—even Christian men—may attempt to rationalize why sex before marriage is acceptable. But these arguments are grounded in the world’s way of thinking, not God’s. Let’s examine two common excuses you might hear:
1. “God Understands”
Some men may say, “God understands our struggles,” implying that His grace will cover their desire for premarital sex. Yes, God is merciful and forgiving, but His Word does not change based on our circumstances or struggles. While God understands our temptations, He also provides a way out (1 Corinthians 10:13). We are called to resist temptation and remain holy, as He is holy (1 Peter 1:16). God’s standard for purity has not changed, and His grace is meant to empower us to overcome sin, not justify it.
2. “We’re Going to Get Married Anyway”
Another argument you might hear is that sex before marriage is acceptable because you’re planning to get married. The logic is that since you’re committed to each other, you can test your sexual compatibility. But this thinking is rooted in worldly values, not biblical truth. Marriage is a covenant made before God, and sex is a sacred gift that belongs within the confines of that covenant. Engaging in premarital sex is not a test of compatibility—it’s disobedience to God’s Word. “Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure” (Hebrews 13:4, NIV).
God’s Call to Purity
Sex before marriage is still fornication, no matter how society tries to redefine or excuse it. God’s command to flee from sexual immorality is as relevant today as it was when Paul wrote to the early churches. In 1 Corinthians 6:18-20 (NKJV), Paul reminds us: “Flee sexual immorality. Every sin that a man does is outside the body, but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body. Or do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own? For you were bought at a price; therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God’s.”
We cannot afford to compromise on sexual purity. The world may tell us that times have changed and that everyone is doing it, but as believers, we are not called to follow the world. Romans 12:2 (NIV) tells us, “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.” God’s Word is eternal and unchanging. His design for sex within marriage was established from the beginning, and we are called to honor that.
What to Do When He Wants Sex
If the man you’re courting pressures you to have sex, it’s time to re-evaluate the relationship. Remember Joseph in Genesis 39—he literally ran from temptation. You may not need to run physically, but you need to create distance emotionally and mentally. Establish boundaries to protect yourself from compromising your purity.
Before you act, have an honest conversation with him. Make it clear that you are committed to honoring God’s standards, and if he truly loves you, he will respect your boundaries. If he continues to push for sex or tries to manipulate you into thinking it’s not a big deal, it may be time to end the relationship. A man who truly seeks God will also seek to honor you by protecting your purity.
Love Isn’t Manipulation
True love, as defined by Scripture, is patient, kind, and selfless (1 Corinthians 13:4-7). It’s not manipulative or coercive. If a man is using love as an excuse to pressure you into sex, then that love is counterfeit. Real love respects boundaries, honors God, and seeks the best for the other person. Love does not force someone to go against their convictions.
Letting Go When Necessary
Letting go of a relationship is hard, especially when you’ve invested time, energy, and emotions. But no relationship is worth compromising your walk with God. Continuing in sin for the sake of keeping a relationship intact is a sign of misplaced priorities. Trust that God knows what’s best for you, and He will provide the right person in His time.
For the Woman Already Engaging in Premarital Sex
If you’re already having sex in your relationship, it’s not too late to change course. God’s mercy is always available to those who repent. Stop, set new boundaries, and ask God for the strength to remain pure moving forward. Acts 3:19 (NIV) encourages us: “Repent, then, and turn to God, so that your sins may be wiped out, that times of refreshing may come from the Lord.” It may be difficult, but God will bless your obedience. His forgiveness and grace are always available to those who turn back to Him.
You’re Not Alone
The journey toward sexual purity in a relationship is not easy, but you’re not alone. God is faithful, and He will give you the strength to stand firm. Surround yourself with a community of believers who can encourage and hold you accountable. Pray for wisdom and strength as you navigate your relationships, always keeping in mind that God’s ways are higher than the world’s ways.
There is hope, healing, and freedom in Christ, and together, we can walk this path of purity for God’s glory.
Video – Victor Mark’s testimony is one of the redemptive power of God
Nothing is impossible for God! He is the restorer and healer of all things, if you give it to Him.
Victor Marx is a remarkable figure who has dedicated his life to humanitarian efforts and helping those trapped in devastating circumstances, including victims of human trafficking. Overcoming his own traumatic childhood of serious abuse and neglect, he transformed his pain into a mission to bring hope and restoration to others.
Through his organisation, All Things Possible Ministries, Victor works in high-risk areas, including war zones and regions plagued by human trafficking, to rescue and rehabilitate those in need. His ministry has impacted tens of thousands of lives, including children and survivors of abuse, as well as prisoners through his outreach programmes. His work exemplifies courage, faith, and perseverance.
Victor Marx is also a devoted family man with over 34 years of marriage, five children, and five grandchildren. He shares his wisdom and experiences to inspire others, blending his military discipline, faith, and compassionate outlook to build successful relationships and empower individuals to thrive despite life’s challenges.
Notable Quotes by Victor Marx:
“Kids who are born in the fire , will not be burned by the heat of life”
“Forgiveness is giving up your right to hurt someone back for hurting you.”
“Forgiving: gaining real estate in your heart to both give and receive love”
Support
To support Victor Marx’s ministry and his mission to bring hope, freedom, and restoration to those in desperate need, consider contributing to All Things Possible Ministries: Support
Outstanding interviews with Victor Marx at the Shaun Ryan show
Part 1 – How Victor became the Guinness book of records fastest gun disarmer in the world
CitizenGO – started this petition to The UK Prime Minister, The Right Honourable Sir Keir Starmer KCB KC MP, and UN Ambassador Dame Barbara Janet Woodward DCMG OBE – 2024/09/05
The UN (United Nations) is on the brink of legalising something unimaginable that will effect children around the world.
Right now, it’s pushing a horrifying treaty that could make it acceptable to create and possess explicit materials involving children—as long as it’s deemed “private” or “consensual”.
The UN’s latest treaty on cybercrime could allow predators to exploit children under the guise of “consensual” or “private” use of sexual content – child rape material.
Imagine AI-generated images of children in disturbing scenarios or real minors (children) being manipulated and / or coerced into creating their own exploitation—all potentially decriminalised. This is beyond comprehension—it’s a direct threat to the safety of every child.
If this treaty is signed, it could pave the way for the normalisation of the most horrific forms of child exploitation and even elements of paedophilia around the world.
And the UN isn’t just allowing this—they’re endorsing it.
By decriminalising “consensual” child pornography i.e child rape material, they’re opening the floodgates for paedophiles and predators. And make no mistake—if we let this happen, it’s only a matter of time before they push for even more: lowering the age of consent and defending the “rights” of those who prey on our children.
This is a nightmare in the making, and we cannot afford to wake up too late. We are standing at the edge of a cliff, and if we don’t act now, the protections that keep our children safe will be eroded.
What will be left? A world where the law protects predators, and our ability to safeguard our children will be stripped away.
We must rise up and make our voices heard. Add your name today to demand that the UK Prime Minister, Sir Keir Starmer, and UN Ambassador Dame Barbara Janet Woodward block this outrageous treaty.
The time to protect our children from this madness is now—before it’s too late.
Urgent: Opposition to Proposed UN Cybercrime Treaty
Dear The Right Honourable Sir Keir Starmer KCB KC MP and Dame Barbara Janet Woodward DCMG OBE,
I am writing to express my deep concern regarding the new UN treaty on cybercrime. What should be a positive step toward global safety has instead raised significant alarm.
Among the most distressing aspects of this proposed treaty is the inclusion of language that would decriminalize certain forms of child pornography.
According to Article 14 of the treaty, countries may choose to decriminalize the production, distribution, and possession of content depicting children that are sexually exposed so long as the material does not represent an “existing person” or does not visually depict actual “child sexual abuse or child sexual exploitation.”
This proposal is not only deeply unethical but also poses a direct threat to the safety and well-being of the most vulnerable members of our society—our children.
It opens the door to depictions of paedophilia and legalizes some forms of child pornography, long considered illegal.
It is deeply troubling that the UN, which should prioritize the protection of all citizens, especially children, is considering provisions that could improve the social perception of paedophiles and protect those who possess and consume such vile material.
We must keep these dangerous individuals far away from our children and ensure that their abhorrent behaviour is not legitimised through international treaties.
In light of this, I urge you to take a stand against this treaty when it comes before the United Nations General Assembly this month. Please abstain from endorsing any agreement that would undermine the protection of our children and compromise the safety of our society.
Thank you for your attention to this critical issue.
[Your Name]
—————
It’s important. Will you sign it too? Here’s the link:
One of the most common and important questions that every Christian hears is, “can I be gay and a Christian?” I believe this is a question that our generation so desperately wants to know the truth about. BUT…
Many people answer this question from a judgmental place void of love. In this video I answer this question full of love but full of the truth. Why? It is time for Christians to engage the questions of our culture and world to provide answers that nobody else fully understands or knows.
Whether you identify as a member of the LGBTQ community, a Christian or somewhere in between this video will challenge, encourage and bless you.
My desire is that you would encounter the real Jesus as you watch this video and that the truth set you free. – Sincerely, Ross Johnston. The transcript from the video can be found below…
Ross Johnston was born via artificial insemination and brought up in a LGBTQ household, Ross’s personal testimony can be found here: Testimony.
The below transcript is from Ross Johnston’s video, can I be gay and Christian:
I’m gay, and I’m a Christian—or I’m a Christian, but I’m struggling with same-sex attraction, and I don’t know how to get free. You see, here’s the truth: these are the top two questions that I get on all of my social media platforms every single day, and I truly believe these are questions of a generation—questions that are desperate for answers that are full of the truth and full of love.
So, in today’s video, we’re going to dive right into these. Now, please, before you keep watching this video, I want to say a few things to really explain and express my heart, because here’s the truth: so many times, when people talk about this topic, it comes from a place of hate and a place of judgment, and I want my heart posture to be so clear to every single person watching, whether you call yourself a Christian or you don’t.
Here are the few things that I want to lay as a foundation before we talk about and answer these questions.
Number one: I was born by artificial insemination. I grew up in a lesbian household. My mom is still currently living in that community. Why do I bring this up? So many people will say, when I share what I’m going to share today (and this will come from Christians and non-Christians), that what I’m saying is hateful, it’s not loving, etc., etc.
Here is the reality: my entire life, even up until this point, I have lived among, and all of my mom’s friends are a part of, the LGBTQ community. So many people in that community are kind, are loving, forgiving, and are amazing people. So, I want you to know that my heart posture—whatever side, wherever your beliefs are right now—I just want you to know one thing: my heart is to share the truth through the lens of love. Because here’s the second thing I want to say: I am simply asking for the next 10 to 15 minutes of your attention, whatever you call yourself, whatever you identify as, whatever your spiritual beliefs are. Because here’s what I’m believing for: that if we can actually engage these hard and challenging questions of our generation, could it actually lead to breakthrough? Could it actually lead to salvation? Could it actually lead to healing? Could it actually lead to people living the life that they are designed for?
And here’s my other desire: I am not here to Bible-bash you and just throw scripture verses at you. No. Do I believe in the Bible? 100%. Do I believe it’s the Word of God? 100%. But even if you don’t believe that, I’m going to share things today that I believe actually have the power for you to receive destiny, for you to receive hope, joy, and a purpose—maybe for the first time in your life.
And here’s the third thing—and I think this is funny, but it’s the truth—so many times, people forget that sex was not our idea. It was not man’s idea; it was God’s idea. He created it from the beginning of time, before sin, before almost anything else besides creation. And here’s why this is important: God created sex for procreation and for pleasure. So, I think we have to redefine sex in our minds as Christians and as people of the world. The truth is, sex is God’s design so that His purposes would become reality on the earth.
Because what is the first thing that He told man to do? ‘Be fruitful and multiply; fill the earth and govern it.’ And you can’t do that without sex. And here’s the last thing I want to say before we dive into this video. Thank you for listening to these. What I want you to know is, at the end of this video, I’m going to share something called the Good News. Now, you might have heard it, you might not have heard it, but here’s why I want you to stay till the end: because I’m actually going to share the real truth on what can actually set you free, save you, bring you healing, and bring you into the design for your life.
So, let’s dive into this.
Alright, so the first question that I want to answer today is: can you be gay and be a Christian? And here’s what I’m going to do: I’m going to explain, out of the Word of God, out of the Bible, out of the Scriptures, what is the truth. Now, here’s what I want to say: I know there are some people watching; they might not even believe in the Bible. Maybe you’ve never read the Bible, maybe you’ve never had an experience with God, or an experience with Jesus, an experience with the Holy Spirit. Just please listen, because here is the truth: there’s one thing that’s clear from scholars, who are Christians and not, that the Bible is indeed a real document that has been confirmed and that has been proven and tested to be completely real.
And so, this is what the Bible begs the question: if this document, which has been proven to be real, is the truth, then what is the responsibility and the action that is placed on my life?”
And so, here’s the first thing I want to start with: this is literally the first page of the entire Bible. It is Genesis 1:27, and here are verses 26 and 27. Here’s what I want to read: if you have your Bible, just go with me real quick.
Then God said, “Let us make human beings in our image, to be like us. They will reign over the fish in the sea, the birds in the sky, the livestock, all the wild animals, and the small animals along the ground.”
Now check this out: so God created human beings in His own image. In the image of God, He created them; male and female, He created them. Then God blessed them and said, “Be fruitful and multiply; fill the Earth and govern it.”
A few things: It was God’s desire to create you and me. You were formed in your mother’s womb by God. He loved you, He chose you, and He knew you before the foundations of the Earth. Whether your parents wanted you or whether any other person had any say in how you came to this Earth, God knew you, created you, and formed you in your mother’s womb.
Now here’s the second thing we see from right here: that God created us, every person, in His image. That’s amazing. The third thing we see is that He created male and female—two genders and only two genders. It’s literally that simple. But here’s the next thing He said: “Be fruitful and multiply; fill the Earth and govern it.” As I said earlier, God’s design is for sex to actually take place on the Earth so that His purposes can become a reality through us.
Now here’s the second thing: I want to go to another scripture. I want to go to Genesis chapter 2, so just go to the next page with me, and I want to read verses 21 through 24.
So the Lord caused the man, Adam, to fall into a deep sleep. While the man slept, the Lord God took out one of the man’s ribs and closed up the opening. Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib and brought her to the man. At last, the man exclaimed, “This one is bone from my bone and flesh from my flesh. She will be called woman because she was taken from the man.” This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.
So from the beginning, from creation, we see God’s design: for male and female, men and women, to become united as one through the covenant and context of marriage.
So here are a few more scriptures I want to dive into, but you need to understand the context of what’s going on here. Moses was called by God to lead the Israelites, the people of God, out of bondage and slavery in Egypt to the promised land. When he did this, he gave them what we know as the Old Testament or the Old Covenant law, which is basically ways they should live their lives to honor God.
In the Book of Leviticus, which, to be honest, a lot of people don’t like reading because it’s just a bunch of laws and can be a little bit boring, but there’s so much to be found here. In Leviticus 18 and chapter 20, there are two things that are said that are very valuable.
Number one: Leviticus 18:22 says, “Do not practice homosexuality; having sex with another man as with a woman is a detestable sin.”
Now, I want you to go with me just to the next chapter, chapter 20, and then go with me to verse 13. It says, “If a man practices homosexuality, having sex with another man as with a woman, both have committed a detestable act.”
Now here’s the thing that’s super clear about this: God is making it really clear. Now please stay with me past this—even if you do not agree—God is making it clear that living and performing homosexual acts is not His design and goes against how He created you and me to be.
Why does this matter? I like to say it like this: if you don’t walk in the design of God, you can’t walk in the blessing of God. If something is designed a certain way and you try to use it in a way that it’s not designed for, it’s going to cause issues and going to cause problems.
Because so many people will say, “Well, Jesus never talked about homosexuality. He never said it was a sin; He never spoke ill against it.” Well, I want you to go with me to Matthew chapter 19. These are the exact words of Jesus, now we are in the new testament, and this is what Jesus says. Some Pharisees—religious people—came to Him. Isn’t that interesting? And they said, “Should a man be allowed to divorce his wife for just any reason?” So, what is Jesus responding to? He’s responding to marriage. And this is what He says:
“Haven’t you read the Scriptures?” Jesus replied. “They record that from the beginning, God made them male and female.”
So, what is He doing here? He’s affirming the two genders, and He’s affirming creation. And He said, “This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one. Since they are no longer two, but one, let no one split apart what God has joined together.”
So, did Jesus say the word “homosexuality”? No. But you have to understand, once again, the context of this Scripture. He’s talking to religious leaders; He’s talking to Pharisees. They knew the Old Testament law—the Scriptures that I just talked about right before this—like the back of their hand. They knew the traditions; they knew the customs. So, they already knew that the design of God was not to live a homosexual life.
And so, Jesus is saying right here, He’s affirming what we just read in those previous Scriptures, and He’s basically saying that man and woman should come together as one, and that no one should separate that. This is amazing.
But here’s the last place I want to go. Now, listen, I know many YouTube channels are super scripted, super edited—we’re just raw and real. I want you to go with me to Romans chapter 1, and I’m flipping there live with you right now because I want to read this Scripture, and I believe this is a powerful Scripture. I want you to just go with me real quick to verse 18. We’re going to read about four verses. Just stay with me for a second.
Here’s what it says:
“But God shows His anger from heaven against all sinful, wicked people who suppress the truth by their wickedness. They know the truth about God because He has made it obvious to them. For ever since the world—listen to this—ever since the world was created, people have seen the earth and sky. Through everything God made, they can clearly see His invisible qualities, His eternal power and divine nature. So, they have no excuse for not knowing God.”
Wherever you’re at on your faith journey… If you just simply step outside, or wherever you’re watching this video, and you look up, you look to the side, and you see nature, you see creation—you know there’s a Designer. You know there’s a God. This is incredible. This is the foundation God is using. And here’s what else Paul said, the one who wrote the Book of Romans:
“Yes, they knew God, but they wouldn’t worship Him as God or even give Him thanks. And they began to think up foolish ideas of what God was like.”
Now listen to this verse right here, verse 23:
“And instead of worshiping—giving attention, affection, and honor (that’s what worship means)—to the glorious, ever-living God, they worshiped idols made to look like mere people.”
What is God trying to say here? That as human beings, before we know who God truly is and we know our full identity, we worship—or we place all our value on—the creation instead of the Creator. And then, here’s where it goes on to say right here, this is the key verse:
“So God abandoned them to do whatever shameful things their hearts desired. As a result, they did vile and degrading things with each other’s bodies. They traded the truth about God for a lie.”
And here’s what I think is so, so powerful—verse 26:
“That is why God abandoned them to their shameful desires. Even the women turned against the natural way to have sex and instead indulged in sex with each other. And the men, instead of having normal sexual relations with women, burned with lust for each other. Men did shameful things with other men, and as a result of this, they suffered within themselves the penalty they deserved.”
Now, here are a few things I want to make as closing remarks. I want to make three points.
Number one: You also have to understand that in all of the Bible, all of the Scripture right here, there is not one man or woman who actually affirmed or encouraged living a homosexual lifestyle.
But here’s another thing you need to know: orthopraxy and orthodoxy, I’m going to break that down in simple english, non-churchy terms. What it means is, from the beginning of the New Testament Church—which was about 2,000 years ago—there was never a belief or practice allowed in the church in regards to homosexuality. This is a new concept, a new belief system that has been affirmed only in the last few decades here on earth. So for close to 17, 18, 1900 years, no Christian, no church, would actually come out and say that we affirm homosexuality and that we allow that practice among those who call themselves Christians.
So here’s what I want to say: wherever you’re at on this journey, it is clear through the Scriptures, it is clear through everything—through the lens of the world, through the lens of the first church—that homosexuality is not the design of God. But I want you to know that if you don’t call yourself a Christian or you live in the LGBTQ lifestyle at the moment, please stick with me because I’m going to share something so powerful—real-life experiences to back this up.
Now, before I share those experiences, I want to answer the second question because so many people will DM me on a regular basis, saying, “Ross, I’m a Christian, I love Jesus, I want to know God, but I have same-sex attraction and I don’t know how to get free.” Well, here’s the first thing I want to ask you: Do you want to get free? And if the answer is yes, then listen to the rest of this.
Here’s the first scripture I want to talk about—this is so, so powerful, and this even answers the question, “Ross, I was born gay. Ross, I was born with these attractions. Ross, I was born with X, Y, and Z.” Listen to the words of Jesus here. Once again, it’s another religious leader, a religious person, coming to Him and asking Him this. And this is what he said:
This religious leader asked Him, “We all know that God has sent you to teach us. Your miraculous signs are evidence that God is with you.” Look at the words of Jesus here. He replies, “I tell you the truth, unless you are born again, you cannot see the kingdom of God.”
“What do you mean? Can I go into my mother’s womb and be born again?” Jesus said, “I assure you, no one can enter the kingdom of God without being born of water and the Spirit.”
Regardless of what you believe you were born with, when you come to Jesus, you become born again. What does “born again” mean? “Born again” means not born naturally, but born of the Spirit. The Holy Spirit—the Spirit of God—comes and lives inside of you, so you now have access and relationship with God through His Spirit. So any desire, anything that doesn’t line up with this design—any struggle, any temptation, whatever the case may be—you become born again. That is no longer who you are.
But the Scriptures take it even further. I’m going to bounce around here real quick to 2 Corinthians chapter 5, one of the most powerful scriptures that I’ve read in a while—5:17. This is what it says:
“This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun.”
And that word used in the Scriptures here, not in English, actually means a new creature or a new prototype. When you come to Jesus, you literally become a brand new person. This is incredible—new emotions, new thoughts, new desires, new affections, new pursuits. Why? Because the power of God is to save those who believe. But not only does He save you, He gives you His Spirit. You become born again, and you become a new creation.
But here’s where else I want to go—just go with me a few books back to Romans chapter 5. This is an incredible scripture, and here’s what I want to read: it’s Romans chapter 5, verse 10. “For since our friendship with God was restored by the death of His Son while we were still His enemies, we will certainly be saved through the life of His Son.”
Why does that matter? The word “saved” used here in the Greek is actually the word “sōzō.” It means to be completely free—emotionally, spiritually, physically, and mentally. Friends, what is the Bible trying to say? What is God trying to speak to you right now? When you become a Christian, when you surrender your life to Jesus, you literally get completely set free in every area of your life. You become brand new. Friend, this is not too good to be true—this is good, and it truly is true.
Now listen, if you’re still watching this video, there’s still something more powerful I want to share with you, and I want to say thank you for staying with me until this point. I believe the Spirit of God is beginning to speak to you, to heal you, to set you free. Yes, the Spirit of God—the Holy Spirit—can set you free through watching a video, through hearing the Word of God. And here’s where I want to go next.
I want to share this one scripture that just came to mind: Galatians 2:20. Paul said, “It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me.” Friend, when you become a Christian, you don’t just change—you actually die to your old self. You don’t just change a little bit; you become born again. Why does this matter? If you just change, you can easily change back. But if you die, you can never go back. And this is great news!
So, if you have desires, or thoughts, or things that are plaguing you or tempting you, I want you to know that those are no longer your thoughts if you’re a born-again believer in Jesus. Paul said that any thought that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, you must take it captive and tear it down. So, when you get thoughts—this isn’t even just about same-sex attraction; this is about anything in our lives—any thought that is not in alignment with the will and design of God, you need to become aware of it. You need to say, “That’s not who I am.” You declare out loud your identity and who you are as a son or daughter of God, based on all the scriptures we just talked about, and watch that thing flee from your life.
But here’s the last point I want to make. I want to talk about baptism. You might be thinking, “Listen, Ross, I already know what baptism is—I get it.” No, no, no. Baptism is not just a cute Christian moment where you go under some water. Listen, this revelation shifted my life and freed me from a nine-year addiction to pornography. Did you hear that? A nine-year addiction I had, and I was completely set free by that first revelation I gave you, and what I’m going to share with you right now is truly life-changing. This is what it is—Romans 6. I want to read about eight verses here, so just stick with me. This is verse one:
“Well then, should we keep on sinning so that God can show us more and more of His wonderful grace? Of course not! Since we have died to sin, how can we continue to live in it? Or have you forgotten that when we were joined with Christ Jesus in baptism, we joined Him in His death? For we didn’t just change—nope—it says we died and were buried with Christ by baptism. And just as Christ was raised from the dead by the glorious power of the Father, now we may also live new lives.”
Now pay attention here: since we have been united with Him in His death, we will also be raised to life as He was. We know that our old sinful selves were crucified with Christ so that sin might lose its power in our lives. We are no longer slaves to sin, for when we died with Christ, we were set free from the power of sin.
Friends, when you get baptized in water, you are joining Jesus in His death and in His resurrection. It is not just about getting dipped in some water and making a public confession of your faith—no, friend, the old you, the old self, is buried, never to be seen again, in baptism. And then you are raised to completely new life, just like when Jesus was raised from the dead.
When this revelation hits your heart, I believe the Holy Spirit is saying a few things right now:
Some of you have been baptized before, but you didn’t understand this fully. I encourage you—go get re-baptized. Because when you get re-baptized with this revelation, it shifts everything.
If you’ve never been baptized, you need to do this immediately. This is powerful. You need to die to your old self, be raised, and join Jesus in His death and resurrection, becoming a completely new creation—set free from any temptation and any sin in your life.
Now, here’s where I want to begin to wrap things up, but just stick with me for a few more minutes. There are a few testimonies that I think are going to absolutely wreck your heart in the best way possible, and I just want to share these because they are truly transformative.
These are really good friends of mine who I know personally, and they love sharing their testimonies because the Word of God says that we overcome the devil, or the enemy, by the blood of the Lamb (the blood of Jesus), the word of our testimony, and not loving our lives unto death. So, receive this for your life—receive this for your child, for a friend, a family member, a coworker, whoever it is.
The first one is my friend Samuel. I’ll put all their Instagram handles down below so you can go follow them. Samuel used to be a former gay stripper. Yes, you heard that right—a gay stripper, living the club life, living a homosexual lifestyle. He encountered the presence of Jesus and now is completely saved, preaching the gospel, and leading many out of the LGBTQ community. This is powerful. What Samuel experienced is not just about changing behavior—it’s about transformation, it’s about dying to the old self and rising anew with Christ.
The second story is about my friend Joshua. He was in the adult entertainment industry for multiple years, and then he had an encounter with Jesus. He was suicidal; he wanted to give up on his life. He had the money, he had the fame, he had everything the world told him he wanted, but he was never satisfied. He met Jesus, and now he travels across America preaching the gospel.
The third story is about my friend Ellie, who I just met recently. She was living in a same-sex relationship with another woman for multiple years. She walked into a worship service, and she felt the presence of God. She said, “I…” And in that very moment, she actually broke up with her girlfriend. She repented, came to Jesus, and said, “Jesus, I want you more than anything—more than anything my flesh may tell me, more than anything the world may tell me.” And she gave her life to Jesus.
The last one is my friend Grazana. She literally would speak at Pride festivals and was living a homosexual lifestyle for multiple years. She came to a gathering that she did not want to be at. She felt the presence of God, heard the gospel, gave her life to Jesus, and is now in Bible College pursuing God.
The testimonies that I just released can be yours. Just receive them by faith that God is saving those—it’s Isaiah 61—out of the most hopeless, godless, and darkest situations, that they may rebuild the ancient ruins.
And here’s the last thing that I want to share today, and I promise this—the video will be finished. Please share this video with as many people as you can and encourage them. But I want you to know right now that there is hope for you. There is destiny. You can have life, you can be healed, and you can be saved. The Bible makes it clear that if you would confess with your mouth and believe—believe in your heart—that Jesus is Lord and rose from the dead, you will be saved.
But before we do that, I want you to know the quick 60-second story that transformed my life. When God created Adam and Eve, the first two people, the Bible says in Genesis that they walked in the garden with God—no separation. But then, one day, they disobeyed God because God gives us free will and free choice to live life how we want. And because they chose to go against God, it separated man and God. Why? Not because God hated them or hates you, but because He is holy, and He can’t have a relationship with someone who is not holy like Himself.
So what did God do? He sent His son, Jesus, to this earth. Jesus was just like you and me, friend—real body, real emotion, real pain—He went through life. But the Bible says He was tempted in every way, but never sinned, never disobeyed God. He was perfect. And one day, He was hung on a cross—real nails went through His hands, and real blood came out of His body. The Bible says He was beaten beyond recognition. He became the sacrifice for your sins and mine, for the disobedience in our lives.
And when Jesus died on that cross, friend, He forgave us of our sins. He forgave us of all the trespasses and all the disobedience in our lives. He cleansed us, He washed us, and He gave us access back to God. But not only that, He rose from the dead on the third day, signifying that you and I can now be raised to new life when we surrender our life to Jesus. We get free by His blood because we cannot be forgiven on our own merit. We cannot be forgiven by our own works because we are human—we are not perfect; we are flawed. But God sent Jesus to become that perfect sacrifice for you and me.
So here’s what I want to do: If you want to surrender your life to Jesus, if you want to know who God really is, if you want to walk in the identity as a son or daughter of God that you were created for from the beginning of time, I simply want you to say this prayer of faith with me out loud.
Just say, “Jesus, I give you my life. I believe you are the Son of God. You died on the cross, shed your blood, and broke your body for me. I repent, and I turn from all my sins and all my mistakes. From this day forward, I make you my Lord, and I receive you into my heart.”
Say this last thing: “Holy Spirit, fill me now. Holy Spirit, fill me with power. In Jesus’ name.”
If you prayed that prayer, please comment below or send me a message. I want to talk to you, I want to pray with you, and I want to share some next steps with you.
Secondly, if you enjoyed this video—if it encouraged you, if you learned something from it, if you felt breakthrough or healing—would you share this with two to three friends? I believe this video will reach the generation for the glory of Jesus. And make sure you subscribe to the channel down below.
I love you guys, and I’ll see you soon.
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The video below is Scott’s testimony of how the Lord met with him and transferred him into the Kingdom of his beloved Son, Jesus. This message is a timely word for those of the LGBTQ community who are struggling with their Identity. There isn’t a hole deep enough where God’s love isn’t able to reach. 👇
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*** Transcript of Ross Johnston YouTube video can I be gay and Christian- website: http://www.rossjohnston.co / Photo by Kampus Productions at Pexels