Category: Relationships

21 Characteristics Of True Love According To The Bible

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If you want to know and understand what true love really is, here are 21 signs, qualities or characteristics of a genuine love according to the verses in the Holy Bible.

1. Love Is Patient.

True love can suffer without complaining or getting angry.

“Always be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other’s faults because of your love.” – Ephesians 4:2.

2. Love Is Kind.

True love has a gentle, caring and compassionate heart. It feels your sorrow; it feels your joy.

 3. Love Is Not Envious.

True love is content and thankful for its blessings and current possessions. It doesn’t envy other people.

 4. Love Is Humble.

True love is not proud and boastful. It is humble enough to admit its own mistakes and strive to correct them. It also forgives to get rid of hatred and enjoy peacefulness.

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.” – 1 Corinthians 13:4

5. Love Is Respectful.

True love respects and honors you as a person. It doesn’t put you into shame or humiliation.

6. Love Is Selfless.

True love is always thoughtful and concerned about the welfare of its beloved. It’s not selfish, inconsiderate, and greedy.

7. Love Is Calm.

True love always maintains the clarity of mind and softness of heart. Its heart is deep and its mind is not narrow.

8. Love Is Righteous.

True love always does the right thing. It disciplines itself to avoid wrongdoings.

“It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.” – 1 Corinthians 13:5

9. Love Is Honest.

True love is truthful. It’s happy living an honest life. It doesn’t lie and hide in darkness.

“Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.” – 1 Corinthians 13:6

10. Love Protects.

True love always protects you and wants you to be safe.

11. Love Is Trusting.

True love trusts. It relies and depends on you. It recognizes your abilities, talents, skills and the good things in you.

12. Love Is Hopeful.

True love is optimistic. It includes you in its plans. It sees a bright future with you.

13. Love Is Persistent.

True love doesn’t easily give up.

“It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” – 1 Corinthians 13:7

14. Love Banishes Fear.

True love eliminates fear, anxieties and insecurities that torment one’s heart, mind, and soul.

“There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.” – 1 John 4:18

15. Love Loves Even Those Who Don’t Love It.

True love does good things even to those who hate it. It will love you even though you are treating it as your enemy.

“But to you who are listening I say: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. If someone slaps you on one cheek, turn to them the other also. If someone takes your coat, do not withhold your shirt from them. Give to everyone who asks you, and if anyone takes what belongs to you, do not demand it back. Do to others as you would have them do to you. If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners love those who love them. And if you do good to those who are good to you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners do that.” – Luke 6:27-33

16. Love Comes From God.

True love brings you closer to God.

“Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God.” – 1 John 4:7

 17. Love Makes A Great Sacrifice.

True love does extraordinary things. It goes out of its comfort zone or sacrifices things important to it just to show its love.

“For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.” – John 3:16

18. Love Loves through True Actions.

True love is not based on words or hypocritical deeds, but it is based on truthful actions. It doesn’t only believe or hope, but it does actions that will make the things it believes or hopes a reality.

Dear children, let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth.” – 1 John 3:18-19

“And now these three remain : faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.” – 1 Corinthians 13:13

19. Love Loves Itself.

True love takes care of itself, not hurts itself. It develops itself to be stronger, healthier and more capable to continue loving.

“In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.” – Ephesians 5:28

20. Love Binds A Person’s Good Virtues In Perfect Unity.

True love transforms you into a whole new and better person.

Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.” – Colossians 3:12-14

21. Love Gives You The Confidence To Face Even The End Of Time.

True love keeps you away from sins and cleanses your soul so that you may become confident even on the Day of Judgment.

“In this way, love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgment because in this world we are like him.” – 1 John 4:17

True love is indeed powerful and that’s why it’s not an easy thing to do. Giving pure love involves making great sacrifices and enduring a lot of pain. However, it rewards genuine happiness and fulfillment in life and beyond.

Perhaps we cannot make our love perfect on our first try. But love is not only a one-time act – it’s an act that we should practice consistently. Remember that practice makes perfect.

I hope this article serves as your guide, not only in identifying if someone is giving you real love, but most importantly in learning how to give it. Take note that true love is more about giving rather than receiving. So start building true love inside you.

Note: All Bible verses presented in this article are based on the New International Version (NIV).

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**By Victorino Q. Abrugar at Inspiring Tips / Photo by Flora Westbrook at Pexels

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Living Right Today

The Marriage Box Myth

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There is a marriage myth that few people know about before they marry. (We sure didn’t!) But spouses NEED to recognize it. That’s because the health of their marriages depend upon it. We’re talking about the Marriage Box Myth. It’s a myth we fell into and then climbed out of (and continue to climb “for as long as we both may live”).

To give you an idea of what we’re talking about here, regarding this myth, read the following:

THE MARRIAGE BOX MYTH

Most people get married believing a myth.
They believe that marriage is a beautiful box full of things they have longed for… companionship, intimacy, friendship, etc.

The truth is that marriage at the start is an empty box.
You must put something in before you can take anything out.

There is no love in marriage.
Love is in people. And people put love in marriage.
There is no romance in marriage. You have to infuse it into your marriage.

A couple must learn the art and form the habit of giving, loving, serving, praising, of keeping the box full.
If you take out more than you put in, the box will be empty.

(Written by Dr J Allan Peterson)

The Marriage Box Myth is True

Anyone who has been married beyond a month or two, KNOWS how very true this is! If we’re serious when we say our wedding vows to “love” each other for the rest of our lives, we need to be proactive in continuing to grow our love. It’s not a once for all time type of situation.

We didn’t know that when we first married. We should have. But we didn’t. Naively, we thought our love would just naturally grow more wonderful with passing time. However, that was a fantasy! The opposite happened. Our relationship grew to be ugly. That’s because we didn’t do what it takes to put love and romance into our “marriage box.” We just took and took and took and didn’t even notice that it was depleting our relationship of love. So that didn’t work out well for us at all!

We can only take a relationship for granted for so long before it goes into deficit mode of not having anything left in reserve. If we want love, we have to feed it, or it will starve to death. (At the very least it will become anemic.)

We found out the same thing to be true that Darlene Lopez wrote about in her “Marriage Box” article:

“Marriage truly is like an empty box. Many people get married for all the wrong reasons and have an abundant of expectations when they get married. I was one of them. I thought marriage was going to be filled with all sorts of companionship, sex, love, romance, intimacy, prayer, Bible studies, understanding, deep friendship and love. Boy, was I wrong! I found out that marriage truly is empty unless you are infusing into it daily.”

With that said, we want to ask you:

What are you doing to continue to grow your love relationship with each other?

Yes, we know that life gets busy. We fight that all the time (as does everyone)! But we still need to find the time to grow our love for each other. We cannot get so caught up in daily routines that we allow them to become our continual main focus.

“Marriage is a long journey, and any long journey requires occasionally getting off the road to eat, to fill up the car with gas, or simply to rest. Is your marriage slowly getting buried under the daily routine? What can you do differently to break out of the box and renew your love for each other?” (Gary Thomas)

Furthermore, we want to ask you: are you infusing love, or are you just taking what you can get? Here’s a truth to prayerfully consider:

“When we love another person the relationship isn’t just about us anymore. When we love someone we don’t starve them; we give to them. When we love someone, love becomes a verb that allows us to put stuff into the box. We give to the other person in a way that is meaningful to him or her and work with their schedule, not just ours. And we work with their tastes and preferences, not just ours.” (John, from his article, “What is Real True Love?”)

Further down in this blog John writes another truth:

“When we don’t put stuff in the box, we starve the relationship or marriage. We are takers, not givers, narcissists, not lovers.”

That is point on! If we are to love each other as Christ loves, we will be intentional in finding ways to show love in selfless ways—not selfish ways.

Humbly Fill Your Marriage Box

“Being married is an active process where we daily make our lives about each other and not about ourselves. There’s a quote that says: ‘Humility is not about thinking less of our self, but rather thinking of ourselves less.’ I need to practice having more humility in my marriage. I need to focus more on filling our box, rather than taking from.

“And when the time comes (and it will) when my hand reaches from corner to corner to find an empty box, may I be the first to fill it.

“Here’s to every husband and wife in their journey. May you always fight for your marriage, seek counsel when you need it, show grace where sin abounds and love like crazy.” (Lovelace, from her article, “The Marriage Box”)

We couldn’t say it any better! May we love each other extravagantly! That’s how Christ loves us. Now the challenge is for us to do the same. In Ephesians 5:1-2 we are told to “be imitators of God.” We are to “walk in love as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us.” Another way of saying this is presented in The Message:

“Watch what God does, and then you do it, like children who learn proper behavior from their parents. Mostly what God does is love you. Keep company with Him and learn a life of love. Observe how Christ loved us. His love was not cautious but extravagant. He didn’t love in order to get something from us but to give everything of Himself to us. Love like that.” (Ephesians 5:1-2)

THAT type of love is what we are to keep putting in our marriage box.

Your Marriage Mission

Make it your mission to find out what you can put into your marriage box. You need to find that, which will help you to love one another as you originally vowed to do. This is what God would have you (us) do as husbands and wives. It’s also what God wants us to do as His children so we display His love to a world that needs to witness His love in action.

God wants us to live with each other in such a way that our love reveals and reflects the love of Christ. God can use this to prompt others to say, “I want to know their God better.”

“A new command I give you; Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” (John 13:34-35)

May it be so, Lord! May it be so!

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** By Cindy and Steve Wright at marriagemissions.com / Photo by Suzy Hazelwood at Pexel

Screening An Un-Blanked-Out Documentary

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“Therefore do not go on passing judgment before the time, but wait until the Lord comes who will both bring to light the things hidden in the darkness and disclose the motives of men’s hearts; and then each man’s praise will come to him from God.”

‭‭1 Corinthians‬ ‭4:5‬ ‭NASB‬‬

At the judgment seat of Christ, all of God’s ways will be seen to be perfectly just and righteous. That’s why we’re commanded to wait to judge — because there will come a day when even the secret motives of men’s hearts will be revealed, and then and only then can we judge righteously. Jesus says the same thing in Luke 12:2-3:

“But there is nothing covered up that will not be revealed, and hidden that will not be known. Accordingly, whatever you have said in the dark will be heard in the light, and what you have whispered in the inner rooms will be proclaimed upon the housetops.”
‭‭
The picture I have of the judgment seat is one where everyone who has ever lived will see my every thought, word, deed, and motive, and will be able to see that God’s judgment of my life is perfectly righteous. It’s as if a documentary of all my life — inward and outward — will be on a giant movie screen for everyone who’s ever lived to see. And all people, finally having “perfect information” so to speak, will come to the same exact conclusion that God does in His judgment of my life. For some, that may be an absolutely terrifying idea. But for Christians, we can take comfort knowing that God has “blotted out” those sinful spots on the tape (Psalm 51:9), because He chooses not to remember (Isaiah 43:25) any of the sins that we confess in the name of Jesus Christ (1 John 1:7,9). Praise God for that!!

But Christian, let me ask you a question: how will you feel if, when it’s “showtime” for your documentary in heaven, your entire movie is just a series of blanked-out scenes and bleeped-out speech? No sound, no video, all blank? Definitely no sin there to speak of, just hours and hours of silence. Non-footage, so to speak. It’s as if your life almost never took place. Will that be cause for rejoicing?

Or does that sound terrible to you? I must say that I will be utterly heartbroken if my documentary is all bleeped-out footage, with nothing worth screening in the final day! I want more than that! I want a life that brings God glory and honor and praise (Philippians 1:10-11), a life He can put on display to the rulers and authorities in the heavenly places as evidence of His trustworthiness and wisdom and power (Ephesians 3:10, Job 1:8), a life that is not merely stripped of all evidence of bad, but that fulfills all the good that God had in His heart when He made me (Ephesians 2:10)! (I encourage you to read those verses and see whether that is God’s hope for your life too.)

The Holy Spirit says that “each man’s work will become evident; for the day will show it because it is to be revealed with fire, and the fire itself will test the quality of each man’s work. If any man’s work which he has built on it remains, he will receive a reward. If any man’s work is burned up, he will suffer loss; but he himself will be saved, yet so as through fire” (‭‭1 Corinthians‬ ‭3:13-15‬)‬‬. I don’t know about you, but that’s not what I want the subtitle of my movie to be: “saved, yet so as through fire.” To be sure, I’m not interested in reward, except that it will be something I get to throw at my precious Savior’s feet (Revelation 4:10). What I’m interested in is a life that brings God praise and glory in the final day, and the way to do that is to seek for there to be something left on the tape after the fire blots out all of the footage that dishonors the Lord.

Lord, according to Your Holy Spirit’s work in me, I want an un-bleeped tape! I want my life to count for You! I want to be a part of the manifestation that shames the devil and brings glory to Jesus Christ in the final day, that extols His trustworthiness and power.

“But you are A CHOSEN RACE, A royal PRIESTHOOD, A HOLY NATION, A PEOPLE FOR God’s OWN POSSESSION, so that you may proclaim the excellencies of Him who has called you out of darkness into His marvelous light; for you once were NOT A PEOPLE, but now you are THE PEOPLE OF GOD; you had NOT RECEIVED MERCY, but now you have RECEIVED MERCY. Beloved, I urge you as aliens and strangers to abstain from fleshly lusts which wage war against the soul. Keep your behavior excellent among the Gentiles, so that in the thing in which they slander you as evildoers, they may because of your good deeds, as they observe them, glorify God in the day of visitation.”
‭‭1 Peter‬ ‭2:9-12‬ ‭NASB‬‬

Our good deeds may never be evident to worldly-minded people during our life on earth. But our hope is that, in the final day, when all things are known perfectly, and they watch the movies of our lives, they would have cause to glorify God. Not because there’s a blank tape (unlike their filthy tape), but there’s a tape filled with evidence of God’s glory.

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**By Jeremy Utley © Copyright – Jeremy Utley. No changes whatsoever are to be made to the content of the article without written permission from the author at NCCF Church

10 Things You Should Know about the Bible’s Teaching on Men and Women

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So God created man in His own image; in the image of He created him; male and female He created them. ~ Genesis 1:27

1. We were created male and female by divine design

According to the Genesis creation account, God created humanity male and female (Genesis 1:26-28). Maleness and femaleness are creational, not contractual. They are divinely instituted rather than socially defined. Thus our gender identity cannot simply be renegotiated the way in which we refinance a mortgage or reschedule an appointment. God created us, and we are his creatures, both men and women.

2. We were created male and female in God’s image

Humanity’s binary gender design as male and female reflects in some mysterious way the nature of God. While sharing a common humanity, the man and the woman are unique and complementary rather than identical. This complementarity, in turn, reflects a facet of God’s own nature. God, too, is a unity within diversity (three in one, equal in personhood, distinct in role). This unity in diversity is beautifully reflected in human marriage, where the two become one flesh (Genesis 2:24-25).

3. The man was created first and given the responsibility to lead

Scripture teaches that first the man was created by a direct divine act of creation and given the responsibility to lead; subsequently, the woman was created by God from the man (Gen 2:5–9) and for the man (Gen 2:18–20). He is to subdue the earth and is given the name “Adam,” which also serves as the name of the entire human race. God calls the man to account and holds him responsible for the fall.

4. The man and the woman are partners in exercising dominion over God’s creation

The man and the woman jointly receive God’s mandate to multiply and fill the earth, and to subdue it, exercising dominion. God creates the two as genuine partners, and this partnership envelops the man’s leadership and the woman’s support and participation in such a way that the two work in tandem, with complementarity. This genuine partnership can be fully reflected today where men exercise godly leadership without domination and encourage women’s robust participation within biblical boundaries.

5. Who we are as men and women defines the core of our existence, not merely its periphery

Having been created male and female, we are husbands and wives, fathers and mothers, sons and daughters, brothers and sisters. Thus the way in which we live our lives is in and through our divinely created gender identities. These gender identities, in turn, are not merely superficial but run deep, affecting who we are as persons, family members, church members, and citizens. While the gospel extends to all of us, we do not cease to exist as men and women.

6. The fall distorted, corrupted, and confused who we are as men and women

Men and women are meant to live out gender diversity in unity. The fall destroys this prospect. Male and/or female domination are some of the extremes resulting from fractured gender relationships. It is only those redeemed in Christ who can hope to recover and live out God’s intended design. We should remember that the ultimate problem is sin, not a faulty gender design or a corruption of a perfect original. That said, even in its fallen state humanity still displays glimpses of the divine design.

7. God’s design is best

God’s design of humanity as male and female cannot be improved upon! God’s ways are far superior to our own. God’s design for man and woman—expressed in male leadership with male-female partnership—is an expression of his beauty, wisdom, and goodness. Through faith, and faith alone, we can appropriate God’s power to live out this design individually and in relation to each other.

8. The Bible’s teaching on God’s design for man and woman is consistent and coherent

From Genesis to Revelation, the Bible paints a unified picture of what it means to be a man or a woman. The dual pattern of male leadership and male-female partnership pervades all of Scripture: from creation to the fall to redemption in Christ and to the final consummation.

9. Every generation must model and explain God’s design for man and woman to the next

God’s way is for men to lead their families, fathers to mentor their sons in biblical, God-honoring masculinity, and for mothers to mentor their daughters in biblical, God-honoring femininity. Not only is this to happen in the natural family, it is also to take place in God’s family, the church (e.g., Titus 2), especially where family structures are broken. How are you and I preparing our sons and daughters for living out their God-given design as men and women? How are our churches equipping those without role models?

10. Current cultural trends reflect humanity’s brokenness and deep-seated rebellion against the Creator and his design for men and women

Current cultural trends such as same-sex marriage or transgenderism are only symptoms—the result of humanity’s rejection of its Creator (Romans 1). Autonomous, libertarian human reason insists on its right to define itself in opposition to and rebellion toward God. Sadly, this root rebellion will incur eternal judgment unless people trust in Christ. As believers, by grace and through faith, we have the privilege to point to God through living out his wise and beautiful design before a world that languishes in sin and desperately needs salvation.

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**By Andreas J Köstenberger and Margaret E Köstenberger at Crossway.org / Photo the 12th-13th century Mosaic Cathedral of the Assumption, Monreale, Sicily

Father I Know That All My Life

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Father, I know that all my life is portioned out for me,
And the changes that are sure to come I do not fear to see;
But I ask Thee for a present mind intent on pleasing Thee.

I ask Thee for a thoughtful love, through constant watching wise,
To meet the glad with joyful smiles, and to wipe the weeping eyes;
And a heart at leisure from itself, to soothe and sympathize.

I would not have the restless will that hurries to and fro,
Seeking for some great thing to do or secret thing to know;
I would be treated as a child, and guided where I go.

Wherever in the world I am, in whatso’er estate,
I have a fellowship with hearts to keep and cultivate;
And a work of lowly love to do for the Lord on whom I wait.

So I ask Thee for the daily strength, to none that ask denied,
And a mind to blend with outward life while keeping at Thy side;
Content to fill a little space, if Thou be glorified.

And if some things I do not ask in my cup of blessing be,
I would have my spirit filled the more with grateful love to Thee,
More careful, not to serve Thee much, but to please Thee perfectly.

There are briers besetting every path that call for patient care;
There is a cross in every lot, and an earnest need for prayer;
But a lowly heart that leans on Thee is happy anywhere.

In a service which Thy will appoints there are no bonds for me;
For my inmost heart is taught “the truth” that makes Thy children “free”
And a life of self-renouncing love is a life of liberty.

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**By Anna Letitia Waring – 1850 / Photo by Lori McPherson