“Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” ~ Proverbs 4:23 (NIV)
This is part 3 of a 5-part series on guarding your heart in relationships. As women, we are nurturing by nature and referred to in the Bible as the “weaker vessel” (1 Peter 3:7). This isn’t a reflection of value but a design that calls us to be helpers to men, wired to bring support and care into relationships. Men instinctively know this about us, and while this dynamic can bring balance and beauty, it also leaves room for misuse when not approached with God’s wisdom and guidance.
Navigating relationships as a woman is both rewarding and challenging. The desire for meaningful connection is God-given, but it is essential to protect your heart from those who might exploit your trust and affection. This article will help you recognize emotional manipulation, safeguard your heart, and keep your relationships aligned with God’s design.
Understanding the Issue
In Christian communities, marriage is often emphasized as the goal of relationships. Traditionally, men are seen as leaders in pursuing this commitment. However, some misuse this dynamic, taking advantage of women’s nurturing nature to gain emotional support, companionship or even material benefits without the intention of genuine commitment, dodging the responsibility and accountability God places on the man.
This behavior distorts the biblical model of relationships, which calls for love, mutual respect, and service. Scripture, especially passages like 1 Corinthians 13 and Ephesians 5:25, reminds us that relationships should reflect Christ-like love. When someone enjoys the benefits of a relationship—such as emotional support or marital privileges—without accountability, it can leave women feeling devalued and disrespected.
How Women Can Protect Themselves
Guarding your heart requires awareness, boundaries, and trust in God’s plan for your life. Below are practical steps to help you stay vigilant and protect yourself from emotional manipulation.
1. Recognize Red Flags Early On
Understanding warning signs can save you from heartache.
Signs to Watch For:
• He avoids discussing long-term plans or commitment.
• He benefits emotionally, practically, or financially but does not reciprocate.
• He dodges conversations about defining the relationship or its future.
What to Do:
• Trust patterns, not promises. Actions speak louder than words.
• If he consistently avoids clarity, prayerfully consider whether the relationship is aligned with God’s will.
2. Set Healthy Boundaries
Boundaries are essential for protecting your emotional and spiritual well-being.
Practical Steps:
• Define your boundaries early and communicate them clearly.
• Avoid giving “marital privileges” without a commitment, such as deep emotional investment, financial support, or physical intimacy.
• Stand firm when someone pressures you to compromise your values.
3. Avoid Rushing into Emotional Investment
Deep emotional connections should develop gradually, based on proven sincerity.
Suggestion:
• Take time to assess his character and intentions.
• Observe his response to your boundaries. Respect is a crucial indicator of genuine love.
• Trust God’s timing and allow relationships to grow organically.
4. Seek Accountability and Godly Counsel
Sometimes emotions can cloud judgment. Trusted counsel can help you see clearly.
Why It’s Important:
• Trusted friends, mentors, or spiritual leaders provide objective insights.
• A godly community helps you stay grounded in biblical principles.
5. Embrace Your Value and Worth in Christ
Your identity is rooted in Christ, not in a relationship or another person’s validation.
Reminders:
• Reflect on Psalm 139:14: “I am fearfully and wonderfully made.”
• When you know your worth in God’s eyes, you won’t settle for less than His best for you.
What to Look for in a Healthy Relationship
A godly relationship should reflect the principles of love, respect, and mutual commitment. Seek these qualities in a potential partner:
• Respect: He honors your boundaries and values your emotions.
• Clear Intentions: He communicates openly and aligns his actions with his words.
• Sacrificial Love: He demonstrates Christ-like love through selflessness and support.
• Accountability: He welcomes godly counsel and community oversight.
Taking Control of the Situation
If you notice red flags or feel uncertain about someone’s intentions, take proactive steps to protect your heart:
1. Clarify Your Own Needs: Align your relationship expectations with God’s principles.
2. Evaluate Actions Over Words: Look for consistency between what he says and does.
3. Have a Direct Conversation: Express your concerns openly and see how he responds.
4. Be Willing to Walk Away: If he doesn’t respect your boundaries or intentions, trust God’s plan and let go.
Conclusion
Relationships are designed to reflect God’s love—honest, sacrificial, and committed. Emotional manipulation undermines this purpose and can leave women feeling used and devalued. By staying vigilant, setting boundaries, and seeking godly counsel, you can protect your heart and honor both God and yourself in your relationships.
It’s essential to remember that you cannot change a person—only God can transform hearts. Men are not “build-a-bear” projects, and it’s not your responsibility to fix or mold someone into who you hope they could be. Trying to do so often leads to frustration and heartache.
The fear of being alone or not finding someone can make it tempting to settle for less than God’s best. But settling out of fear compromises your values and leads to unfulfilling relationships. Trust God’s timing, knowing that He has good plans for you (Jeremiah 29:11).
Never forget: your worth is found in Christ, not in a man’s approval. True love reflects God’s design, where respect, integrity, and godliness thrive. Stay rooted in His Word, embrace your identity in Him, and let Him guide you toward relationships that bring joy, growth, and lasting love.
“Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” ~ Proverbs 4:23 (NIV)
This is part 2 of a 5 part series. In recent times, online dating has become an increasingly popular avenue for meeting potential partners, including for Christian men and women seeking to honor God in their relationships.However, there’s a concerning trend among some men who profess to be Christians, yet their actions contradict the values of Christ. These individuals target virtuous Christian women, misleading them with facades of faith and manipulating them for selfish gain.
The Deception of “Christian” Men
Just because a man claims to be a Christian does not necessarily mean he is one in practice. As believers, we are taught to “test the spirits” (1 John 4:1) and to judge a tree by its fruit (Matthew 7:16). When it comes to dating, it’s essential to recognize that some men who profess Christianity may not embody the character and integrity that genuine Christian faith demands. They might use their faith as a tool to gain the trust of unsuspecting women, but their actions may reveal their true intentions.
These characters often try to manipulate and control women by disguising themselves as faithful, virtuous Christians. They may even be skilled at convincing their victims that any objection or concern is overreacting, that it’s “old-fashioned,” or that “everyone is different” now. However, these men are often deeply rooted in sinful behavior, and their actions ultimately seek to exploit the women they pursue.
The Dangerous Pattern of Predatory Behavior
The most troubling aspect of these types of men is how they prey on young, trusting, and virtuous Christian women. Many of these men have a sordid past—filled with sin and indulgence—and after realizing that they may end up alone in middle age, they seek to find a woman who is naive and spiritually anchored in faith, believing she will not leave them, no matter how poorly they mistreat her.
As Christians, we are called to live in accordance with God’s commandments and to love one another with purity and respect. Ephesians 5:25 tells men to “love your wives, as Christ loved the church,” which means sacrificially, selflessly, and honorably. This principle contradicts the behavior of these predatory types of men who want to dominate, control, and ultimately abuse women. The idea that a woman will stay married to a man despite his neglect, abuse, or sinful behavior, because of the sacredness of marriage, is a tool these men exploit.
These types often claim to have “converted” to Christianity, or they may return to their faith after years of living recklessly. But in many cases, their motivations for converting or returning to Christianity are not born out of a genuine change of heart or love for Christ but rather out of a desire to find a woman they can manipulate. This situation underscores the need for caution, as it’s clear that not everyone who claims to be Christian truly follows Christ in their actions, and are ‘Christian’ in name only, this includes women.
Red Flags: How to Spot a Predatory Man
The Bible encourages us to be discerning, and when it comes to dating, that discernment is vital. Matthew 7:15-20 warns against false prophets, saying, “By their fruits you will recognize them.” Here are some red flags to look out for when considering a potential partner from a Christian dating site:
1. The “Perfect” Facade: At first, a predator may seem charming, kind, and deeply devout, going out of his way to appear virtuous. For example, he might say, “I’ve been praying for someone like you” or “I feel like God brought us together for a reason.” However, inconsistencies in his actions will reveal his true intentions. While he might talk about his faith and commitment to purity, his behavior might not align with what he says. For example, while he might insist on being a gentleman in public, his messages could become increasingly flirtatious, intrusive or inappropriate when you’re alone. These inconsistencies show that his outward charm and devotion are just a facade, designed to manipulate your emotions.
2. Inconsistent Faith: A man who claims to be Christian but never seems to want to talk about the faith, avoids conversations about God, or downplays the importance of living according to biblical principles should raise alarm bells. If he doesn’t truly value God’s teachings, his interest in you might be more about satisfying his own needs than honoring Christ. In 2 Corinthians 6:14 it states, we are not to be unequally yoked, stating the importance of sharing the same values, beliefs, and at least the same level of faith in a relationship, if you are devout Christian you don’t want to be with someone who is lukewarm.
3. Boundary Violations: A predator may test your boundaries early on, asking for inappropriate pictures, making lewd jokes, or reacting poorly when you establish limits. They often use manipulation tactics to break down your defences, by using false piety, acting hurt, questioning your faith, try to shame you or misuse Scripture to pressure you into lowering your defences, to make you feel guilty or obligated—clear red flags to watch for and disengage from immediately.
4. Victim Mentality: If a man constantly portrays himself as misunderstood or mistreated by others, it’s often a way to deflect attention from his own harmful behavior and avoid taking responsibility for his actions. For example, he might say, “Everyone always misunderstands me; they just don’t get how much I’ve been through.” He may even blame others for his problems, making it seem like he’s always the victim. This tactic is commonly used by abusers to manipulate your emotions, making you feel sorry for him and guilty for not being more supportive. By focusing on his supposed victimhood, he shifts the narrative away from his own harmful actions, creating an emotional bond that makes it harder for you to recognize or confront his behavior. This manipulation lowers your guard and makes you more likely to overlook red flags in the relationship.
5. Control and Possession: True love, as described in 1 Corinthians 13:4-7, is not about control but is patient, kind, and honors the freedom of the other person. In a healthy relationship, both individuals are free to make their own choices and grow in their faith, just as God respects our free will. If someone tries to limit your actions or control who you see, especially people who support your faith and care for your well-being, like family, it’s a red flag that their intentions are based on manipulation and possession. A predator might also try to convince you that they know what’s best for you, suggesting that you’re not smart enough to make your own decisions. They may even misquote Scripture to manipulate you into submitting to them, by saying things like, “The Bible says you should submit to your husband”—even though submission is specifically for marriage, not dating. This tactic is designed to make you feel inferior, drop boundaries and give up your independence, whilst they control the relationship.
6. Devaluation and Gaslighting: A common manipulative tactic used by predators is to devaluate and gaslight you, to make you question your worth and sense of reality. They may make you feel like you’re either “too much” or “not enough” by criticizing your appearance, past, or choices. For instance, they might say, “I can’t believe someone like you is still single,” suggesting there’s something wrong with you, or “You’ve been through a lot, huh? That probably explains why you act the way you do,” implying you’re damaged or flawed. These comments are designed to shake your confidence and make you feel insecure. Over time, this can erode your self-esteem, making you more reliant on their approval. By planting seeds of doubt, they work to break down your boundaries and make you question your own worth, making it easier for them to control you.
7. Future-Faking: These individuals often string women along by promising an ideal future together, but their promises rarely materialise. This is a common trait of predators who manipulate women into staying in the relationship that serve their selfish interests, by painting an ideal, faith-based future that aligns with the woman’s values and hopes, making her believe that the relationship is part of God’s plan, hoping that you will overlook the bright red flags and your gut instinct with the smooth talk.
8. A Toxic Past: A predator may openly admit to having a troubled or sordid past but, at the same time, demand that the woman be perfect—expecting her to be “virginal” or without any past mistakes or experiences. This double standard is not only unfair, but it also reveals a deep hypocrisy. It shows that he is unwilling to offer the same grace and forgiveness to others that Christ offers to all of us. We are called to show compassion and understanding to others, acknowledging that we all have a past and have made mistakes. A healthy relationship is built on mutual respect, grace, and forgiveness, not on unrealistic expectations or judgment of one another’s history. If someone is unable to offer this grace, it’s a clear sign of manipulation and an inability to truly love in the way Christ teaches us.
Protecting Yourself: Trusting God and Your Instincts
While dating online can lead to genuine relationships, it’s essential to remain cautious and discerning. God has given us wisdom and the Holy Spirit to guide us, and one of the most important tools for protecting ourselves is our intuition. If something feels off or doesn’t sit right, trust it. Proverbs 3:5-6 encourages us to trust in the Lord with all our heart and lean not on our own understanding—this applies to relationships as well.
Remember, you are under no obligation to stay in a relationship that makes you feel unsafe or uncomfortable. If a man displays significant red flags, it’s crucial to walk away. Your value is not determined by whether or not you are in a relationship. You are a daughter of the King, worthy of love, respect, and honor.
Lastly, as Christian women, we must avoid believing that we have to “fix” someone or change their character to fit our standards. Only God can change hearts. Your job is to discern wisely and protect your heart, keeping it pure for the right man who will love you as Christ loves the Church.
Biblical Principles of Dating and Marriage
Christian relationships should reflect the fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23). A key part of evaluating a potential partner is looking at how they display love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Some biblical principles that could guide you are:
• Ephesians 5:25-28: Men are called to love their wives sacrificially, as Christ loved the Church. This should be a benchmark for women to evaluate whether a man truly embodies Christ-like love.
• 2 Corinthians 6:14: Don’t be unequally yoked with unbelievers. It is vital that both partners share the same faith and commitment to Christ for a healthy relationship.
Importance of Community and Accountability
Christian dating should never happen in isolation. It’s essential to seek mentorship and accountability from trusted Christian leaders, elders, or friends who know both individuals well. Consider:
• Involving your church community: Let others in your church know about your relationship so they can offer wisdom and discernment.
• Consulting a pastor or mature Christian: A wise Christian mentor can help spot red flags you might miss.
Encouragement of Healthy Boundaries
Set practical boundaries in your relationship to safeguard your emotional, physical, and spiritual health:
• Physical Boundaries: Maintain purity by setting clear limits around physical contact.
• Emotional Boundaries: Respect each other’s emotional well-being, and allow space for personal growth and outside friendships.
• Time and Energy Boundaries: Avoid relationships that drain you or demand excessive control.
The Role of Patience and Discernment in Relationships
Patience is essential in Christian relationships. Psalm 27:14 encourages waiting on God’s timing. Trust in God’s plan and do not rush into relationships based on emotions alone.
Encouragement to Walk in Confidence and Worth
You are fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14). Embrace your identity in Christ and remember that your value is not tied to your relationship status (Ephesians 2:10). Walk confidently in the truth that God has a purpose for you, regardless of your current relational situation.
Clearer Conclusion with Practical Steps
If you are considering an online relationship or already in one, take these practical steps:
• Pray for discernment.
• Set boundaries early.
• Seek counsel from trusted individuals in your church.
• Maintain purity, both emotionally and physically.
• Walk away if you spot red flags—don’t feel obligated to continue a relationship that doesn’t honor God.
In conclusion, while there are many genuine Christian men on dating websites, the rise of predators masquerading as Christians is a growing concern. Stay vigilant, trust in the Lord’s guidance, and above all, never forget that your value comes from God alone. You deserve to be treated with respect and love, as Christ would treat His Church.
Stonewalling is more than just giving someone “the silent treatment.” In this day and age, it has become a calculated and harmful tactic used not only by individuals but also by media, governments, and other institutions, undermining healthy communication and relationships. While some people may disengage temporarily to process emotions, stonewalling as a control mechanism is a deliberate act designed to silence a person and a people, frustrating or demeaning them in the process. When employed systematically, it becomes a tool of manipulation and, arguably, a form of psychological abuse.
What Is Stonewalling?
Stonewalling occurs when someone refuses to engage in meaningful communication. Instead of addressing a concern or issue, they shut down the conversation, leaving the other party feeling unheard, invalidated, and often helpless. When paired with gaslighting—a tactic where someone denies or distorts the truth to make you doubt your perception—it becomes even more damaging. Victims of this behavior might be told:
• “You’re overreacting.”
• “You’re putting words in my mouth.”
• “That didn’t happen.”
These responses can make you question your feelings, your memory, and even your sense of reality.
Common Stonewalling Tactics
Stonewalling isn’t limited to silence. It manifests in a variety of behaviors that signal an unwillingness to engage, including:
• Abruptly stopping responses: They may cut off mid-conversation, refusing to acknowledge your words.
• Turning away: Physically turning their body or looking away as if to dismiss you.
• Feigning busyness: Pretending to be occupied with something else to avoid the conversation.
• Avoiding questions: Refusing to give direct answers or dodging accountability.
• Interrupting: Preventing you from completing your thoughts or sentences.
• Repetition: Using dismissive or one-word replies like “fine” or “okay” no matter what you say.
• Declaring the conversation “over”: Abruptly ending discussions without resolution.
• Ignoring outright: Acting as though they don’t hear you, treating you as invisible.
• Deflecting blame: Turning the issue back on you instead of taking responsibility.
• Walking away: Leaving without indication of when—or if—they’ll return.
• Ghosting: Ignoring texts, calls, or other communication entirely.
Additionally, stonewallers often employ “word salad”—rambling, incoherent, or evasive speech that avoids addressing the real issue. They may talk over someone to prevent them from expressing the truth, deliberately take statements out of context, or spin the conversation in a way that stirs division, fear, and mistrust. These tactics are frequently used by manipulative individuals, but they are also employed by institutions like the media and politicians to silence dissent or control narratives.
All these behaviors signal a disregard for the other person’s thoughts and feelings, often leaving the victim feeling isolated and powerless.
Stonewalling Beyond Personal Relationships
While stonewalling is most commonly discussed in personal relationships, it is a tactic increasingly used in broader societal and political contexts. Governments, organizations, and ideological groups have been observed using stonewalling to silence dissent, avoid accountability, and maintain control.
When governments engage in stonewalling, it is particularly harmful, as it undermines trust and accountability. Citizens often find their voices dismissed or ignored, with governments deploying these tactics to sidestep responsibility and evade questions.
For example:
• Avoiding transparency: Officials may refuse to provide clear answers or respond to legitimate public concerns.
• Deflecting blame: Shifting responsibility to others rather than addressing systemic issues.
• Ignoring demands for accountability: Stonewalling inquiries from citizens, journalists, or watchdog groups.
• Labelling dissent as extreme or irrelevant: Marginalizing opposition by dismissing it as unworthy of engagement.
• Silencing criticism: Using censorship, regulatory barriers, or social pressure to stifle opposing voices.
This deliberate refusal to engage creates frustration, confusion, and mistrust, ultimately alienating the very people the government is supposed to serve. When combined with misrepresentation, sensationalism, or fearmongering by media outlets, this behavior becomes a powerful tool of division and control, further eroding public trust.
Signs You’re Experiencing Stonewalling
If you suspect you’re being stonewalled—whether in a relationship, workplace, or community—check in with yourself. Ask:
• Do I feel heard and understood?
• Do I hesitate to voice concerns for fear of punishment or conflict?
• Am I holding back because I’m afraid the other person won’t listen or will escalate the situation?
• Do I feel like I constantly need to convince or “win over” the other person?
If the answer is “yes” to any of these, you might be dealing with stonewalling.
Why Stonewalling Is “Satanic”
Some may describe stonewalling as “satanic” because it embodies traits often associated with deceit, manipulation, and oppression. It fosters division, breeds confusion, and undermines trust and understanding—essentially creating chaos where there could be harmony. In personal relationships, this destruction of connection and mutual respect is devastating. When used by governments or institutions, it becomes a weapon of control that erodes freedom, trust, and democracy.
Stonewalling denies the humanity of the person being silenced, treating them as though their thoughts, feelings, and existence are insignificant. This is why many view it as fundamentally immoral and harmful—a tactic that perpetuates harm and isolates individuals or entire communities.
How to Address Stonewalling
Whether in personal relationships, social settings, or government interactions, combating stonewalling requires courage, clarity, and boundaries:
• Acknowledge it: Recognize when stonewalling is happening and name it for what it is.
• Set boundaries: Clearly communicate that such behavior is unacceptable and enforce consequences if necessary.
• Seek support: Turn to trusted friends, family, or professionals for guidance and affirmation.
• Engage with others who listen: Focus your energy on constructive conversations and relationships.
At a societal level, addressing stonewalling means encouraging accountability, transparency, and open dialogue from governments, organizations, and leaders. Christians are called to engage society in ways that reflect Christ’s example of truth, justice, and love. The prophetic voices of Isaiah and Amos offer biblical examples of standing against corruption and oppression, while Jesus Himself confronted societal hypocrisy and lifted up the marginalized. However, He did so with humility, wisdom, and a focus on personal transformation, not through rebellion or force.
The Bible instructs Christians to respect governing authorities (Romans 13:1-7), yet it also prioritizes obedience to God over human authority (Acts 5:29). This balance calls believers to thoughtfully address injustice, always pursuing peace and righteousness. Advocacy for justice—when conducted with humility and integrity—aligns with Jesus’ teaching to be the “salt of the earth” and the “light of the world” (Matthew 5:13-16).
While peaceful protests, petitions, or dialogue may serve as tools to challenge injustice, these actions must reflect Christ’s spirit of love, not division. True engagement happens when believers focus on sharing truth with grace and trust in God’s power to bring change. In Matthew 10:14, Jesus advised His disciples to leave those who rejected the message, emphasizing that Christians are not called to force dialogue or resolution but to faithfully stand in truth and peace.
When dealing with stonewalling—whether in relationships, workplaces, or societal issues—Christians should:
• Recognise the Signs of Manipulation: Understand when someone is purposefully evading responsibility or avoiding meaningful dialogue.
• Pursue Peace, But Set Boundaries: Seek reconciliation and peace where possible, but do not enable abusive behavior or passively submit to those who use tactics like stonewalling to control or silence others.
• Call Out Wrongdoing: Jesus did not hesitate to call out injustice or hypocrisy. As His followers, we are called to stand firm for truth and righteousness, even when it is uncomfortable or unpopular.
• Shake the Dust Off: If someone consistently refuses to engage in honest dialogue, it may be necessary to walk away from the situation, not out of bitterness, but to avoid being complicit in their manipulation or deceit.
By doing so, Christians can foster healthy, respectful relationships without tolerating harmful or controlling behaviors. We must always strive for peace, but also stand firm in our commitment to truth, justice, and the integrity of our faith.
In today’s world, many feel that society is shifting in alarming and unsettling ways. What began as a movement to address injustices has spiraled into what many call “woke madness”—a culture that prioritizes ideology over truth, silences dissent, and disregards the concerns of the majority. This challenge is not exclusive to Christians; it affects everyone who values fairness, safety, and freedom of speech. For Christians, these cultural shifts demand a thoughtful response rooted in biblical truth, love, and courage. By standing firm in faith and addressing these issues with clarity, we can offer hope to a world increasingly confused by competing ideologies and suppressed truths.
Pandering to the Minority
One of the most glaring issues in today’s cultural climate is the way society often bends over backward to affirm the demands of a vocal minority, frequently at the expense of the majority of the people, disregarding their needs, feelings, thoughts, identity, values and inherent dignity, bullying them into submission. While Christians are called to care for the marginalized (Micah 6:8), this does not mean affirming every belief or action, especially when it conflicts with truth or violates others’ rights. Take, for example, the growing insistence that women accept biological men in their private spaces, such as restrooms, locker rooms, and sports teams. This compromises women’s safety, privacy, and dignity, while dismissing their legitimate concerns. Adding insult to injury, women are now being rebranded as “cisgender,” a term many find demeaning and erasing. This kind of pandering ignores the rights, feelings, and safety of the majority, forcing them to affirm ideologies they may deeply disagree with. The audacity of such demands is not only unfair but a direct attack on freedom of thought and conscience. As Christians, we affirm that all people are equal in the eyes of God, deserving of dignity and respect, but equality must not come at the cost of truth or the violation of others’ rights.
A Smokescreen of Control
A significant issue behind this movement is the deliberate way media, education, and political systems amplify the voices of a vocal minority while silencing, marginalizing, or demonizing the majority. The media frequently serves as a controlled and biased outlet, crafting narratives that gaslight the public into believing the minority’s views represent universal consensus. This deliberate distortion functions as a smokescreen, suppressing genuine dissent and coercing society into submission under the guise of progress or inclusivity. The consequences are far-reaching: a creeping erosion of fundamental freedoms—free speech, free thought, religious expression, and even parental rights. These alarming trends bear a striking resemblance to tactics employed by authoritarian regimes like China and North Korea, where the state dictates morality, controls speech, and punishes dissent. Practices such as cancel culture, thought policing, and the dismantling of basic liberties are not just isolated events but steps toward a society where fear and compliance replace freedom and truth.
The Illusion of Affirmation and Truth
The woke movement demands that society affirm subjective ideologies, such as fluid definitions of gender and morality. While this may appear compassionate on the surface, it ultimately fosters confusion, division, and harm. Romans 1:25 speaks to this reality: “They exchanged the truth about God for a lie, and worshiped and served created things rather than the Creator.” When society elevates individual feelings over objective reality, the result is chaos and instability. For Christians, affirming falsehoods is not an option. True compassion does not reinforce illusions; it seeks to uphold truth. Only the truth—rooted in God’s Word—has the power to bring genuine freedom and healing, as Jesus said: “You will know the truth, and the truth will set you free” (John 8:32).
The Impact on Families and Children
One of the most troubling aspects of woke culture is its profound impact on children and families. Schools, which should focus on teaching essential subjects like math, science, and reading, are increasingly being used as platforms for ideological indoctrination. Children are encouraged to question their gender, prioritize feelings over biological reality, and even view their parents as barriers to self-expression. Parental rights are being systematically undermined, as schools and governments make critical decisions about children’s identities without consulting their families.
This trend poses a grave danger not only to the stability of families but to society as a whole. The sexualization of children in schools—often justified under the banner of inclusivity—opens the door to harm, exploitation, and confusion. Jesus’ warning in Matthew 18:6 offers a sobering perspective: “If anyone causes one of these little ones—those who believe in me—to stumble, it would be better for them to have a large millstone hung around their neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea.”
Protecting children is not just a Christian duty but a universal moral imperative. Safeguarding their innocence, well-being, and safety is essential for the health of families and the future of society.
Cancel Culture and the Death of Free Speech
Cancel culture has created an environment where expressing disagreement or holding differing beliefs can result in public shaming, job loss, or even legal consequences. This suppression of dissent is a direct attack on free speech, a foundational principle of any truly free society. For Christians, this challenge is especially pronounced. Biblical views on marriage, gender, and morality are increasingly labeled as offensive or even hateful by some if it opposes their views.
What Can Be Done?
Navigating these challenges requires courage, wisdom, and faith. Here are practical steps for Christians (and others) to stand firm and promote truth:
1. Stay Rooted in Scripture
God’s Word is the ultimate authority. When cultural ideologies conflict with biblical truth, we must remain faithful to God.
2. Expose the Smokescreen
Help others see through the media’s biased narrative. Encourage critical thinking and honest conversations to reveal the truth.
3. Defend Freedom for All
Advocate for free speech, parental rights, and the protection of children. This is not just a Christian issue; it affects everyone who values liberty.
4. Model True Justice
Biblical justice seeks restoration and healing, not division and retribution. Work toward fairness without compromising truth.
5. Pray and Trust God
Cultural battles are spiritual battles. Pray for leaders, teachers, and those caught in confusion, and trust God’s sovereignty in all circumstances.
Conclusion: Standing Firm in Truth and Grace
The rise of woke madness is a challenge for all people, not just Christians. When society panders to a vocal minority, silences the majority, and replaces truth with ideology, the result is division, confusion, and fear. As Christians, we are called to stand as salt and light in the world (Matthew 5:13-16). By speaking truth in love, defending the vulnerable, and remaining steadfast in faith, we can offer a better way—a way rooted in the hope and freedom found in Jesus Christ. The cultural storm may rage, but God’s truth is unshakable. Let us courageously shine His light, knowing that in Christ, we have the ultimate answer to every cultural and spiritual crisis.
Jezebel is mentioned in the Bible over 22 times, mostly in 1 Kings 18, but also again in Revelation 2. In other portions of Scripture, fear and heaviness are called spirits, but the Bible does not directly call Jezebel a spirit.
So why do Christians call Jezebel a spirit?
It is because of her reappearance in the book of Revelation that the idea of a spirit was derived.
Due to this verse, we can assume that Jezebel is a demonic spirit that inhabits a person and causes them to be control-driven, a promoter of false teaching, and heavily driven by sexual appetite.
The best way to define this spirit is by looking at the example Jezebel herself lived (1 Kings 18). She lived a life of immorality, idolatry, false teachings, and unrepented sins. She was not guided by principles or restrained by a fear of God or man. She was passionate in her pursuit and heavily attached to heathenistic worship.
Jezebel in The New Testament
If you read the context of this chapter, you will notice that it was the church that had Jezebel operating in high levels of the church. As surprising as that may seem, it is not at all uncommon to see. So here are a few characteristics and truths to note and be aware of so you can steer clear of this spirit.
8 Characteristics of the Spirit of Jezebel
1. It Operates in Men and Women
I remember a time when I was doing deliverance on this man and the spirit of Jezebel manifested. It had been causing lust in his life and after the guy was delivered, he was free from pornography. It is a lie that this spirit only operates in women through the means of control.
2. It Causes Control, Manipulation, & Domination (A Form of Witchcraft)
Manipulation, intimidation, and the desire or impulse to control people is a characteristic of Jezebel.
The Bible says the fruit of the Holy Spirit is,
The fruit of Jezebel is people-control. It causes a desire to control the surroundings and even people, while never producing “self-control.”
3. It Causes Fear, Flight, and Discouragement
Jezebel is good at causing intimidation in people.
Scripture highlights that she didn’t kill Elijah, she simply sent a messenger to discourage him and make him run in fear of his life.
Elijah was a powerful man of God. He brought fire down from heaven with his command; he seemed fearless! However, this threat was enough to instill fear and even depression in his life. This happened shortly after he had such a great victory on Mount Carmel (1 Kings 18).
A lot of times, after great victories, this spirit will try and bring deep despair to a person. They might even feel as though they don’t want to live, and it causes cycles of burnout.
4. It Seduces and Provokes Sexual Immorality
Revelation says,
Many of us have heard stories of men of God who have fallen into this sin. They have been seduced, have come under discouragement, and have fallen into the enemy’s trap.
When Jehu came to destroy Jezebel, she came out of the window and made sure to have makeup on. Her plan was to seduce Jehu.
Jezebel is after ministers of God. This is very common because of the authority in which they stand. When someone in authority falls, the news doesn’t just affect the immediate family, but they also affect those who believed in them and followed their ministry.
Take time to pray for your pastors, for the men and women God has placed in leadership roles around you. The higher that God takes a person, the more the enemy wants to attack them and so they will fall into sin, affecting the faith of many as a result.
When David committed sexual immorality with Bathsheba, the Lord said,
His sin had given leeway for others to doubt and blaspheme the God that David served. The enemy will often use this tactic to cause ministers of God to fall into pornography, adultery, and other sexual sins.
5. Teaches False Doctrine
In the Old Testament, Jezebel was in full control of religion. Not only was she a queen, but Scripture describes her as a religious leader in charge of many prophets who worked alongside her to control the religious climate of that time.
In Revelation, we see the same thing. She calls herself a prophetess, and we see that she is influential enough to persuade the culture of the church through her teachings.
Jezebel is someone who preaches other truths other than the Gospel. No matter how good a person’s outward appearance is, if the doctrine they are presenting goes contrary to that of Scripture, steer clear from them and their message.
Jezebel is not just seductive and controlling, it also has the characteristic of a teacher. Always be cautious that you don’t fall under the influence of Jezebel by teaching something that is not true according to the Scriptures.
6. Loves Leadership Positions
Jezebel was not just a servant; she was a queen. In Revelation, we see that she was a prophetess. I am always cautious when I see young men or women who seem to love the spotlight. They can’t live without a microphone or a podium because it feeds a sense of worth and value.
It is dangerous to feed this insecurity through this means. By doing so, you can unknowingly allow this spirit to overtake you, and begin to influence the church and the kingdom of God through your desire for fame. Then, instead of being used by God, you will be a puppet for the enemy’s schemes.
7. Thrives Where Leadership is Weak
For every Jezebel, there is an Ahab.
Ahab has a very passive character and was unwilling to confront Jezebel. God had to send Jehu to take her out because Ahab couldn’t.
Jezebel thrives in areas where leadership is afraid of confrontation.
When leadership is passive and fears any conflict that may occur when confronting Jezebel, they are acting just as Ahab did –enabling.
We don’t have to love confrontation, but part of the challenge of being in leadership in the church or being a pastor is spotting and confronting Jezebel. To do that you must have the spirit of Elijah, the characteristic that he displayed when he fought the evil brought about by her.
Before you run off and confront everyone that you don’t get along with within the church, deal with Jezebel within your own life. Certain habits, desire for control, discouragements, sexual sins, desires for fame – deal with these areas first before you deal with them in others. Afterward, don’t be afraid of men, but confront those behaviors.
8. Not Repentant
Jezebel is usually not repentant. We see in 1 King that she never repented, she had to be punished. And in the book of Revelation, God gives her a chance to repent, but she was unwilling.
There are consequences to allowing this wicked spirit to operate in your life. If you notice your behavior being influenced by this spirit, or others around you, repent and confront that witch head-on.
Don’t give a place to Jezebel in your life.
You can overcome Jezebel by the blood of Jesus, repentance of sin, and seeking to bear the fruit of the Holy Spirit.
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