Dear friend,
I want to tell you how I came to know Jesus and what the Lord has done in my life. When I look back now, I can see that what I thought was my search for truth was actually the beginning of God’s pursuit of me.
I grew up in a dysfunctional, secular household in a large town in England. From a young age, I knew there had to be more to life, and I began searching for truth and meaning in my own way. Eventually, I discovered the New Age movement and became deeply involved in it. I read self help books, followed astrology, used tarot cards, visited mediums, believed in reincarnation and explored past life regression. Through yoga and meditation, I became interested in higher states of consciousness andthe spiritual traditions behind them. I believed there were many paths to God and that each person could choose whichever path felt right.
At the same time, my life was becoming increasingly chaotic. I was partying, clubbing, drinking and shopping, consumed by appearance and the image I presented to others. I made reckless choices, mixed with the wrong crowds and wore a mask to hide how woundedI really was. Beneath it all, I was lacking self esteem and running away from life. I was looking everywhere for something that would fill the emptiness inside me.
Eventually, everything seemed to close in on me. I was depressed, overwhelmed and felt completely trapped. I reached a pointwhere I didn’t want to be here anymore.
It was there, at the end of myself, that I cried out to God. I began to recognise the things I had done wrong and found myself repenting. I didn’t understand Christian repentance at the time. I simply knew that I had lived selfishly and that I needed forgiveness. Itold God that I no longer wanted to fight Him. I wanted my life to belong to Him, and I asked Him to use it for something good.
And Jesus met me there.
That night, I experienced an overwhelming peace that I cannot explain apart from God. Psalm 34:18 says, “The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” I wasn’t a Christian. I didn’t understand what was happening. But I knewI had cried out to God, and He had heard me.
The following morning, I looked at the world differently. Something had changed. I felt like a new person.
Only afterwards did I begin to see how Godhad been preparing me. I had been staying with my grandmother, who was a Christian. She had been praying for me, giving me prayers to read and watching Christian programmes. What seemed insignificant at the time was part of God’s providence.
I wanted to know who Jesus really was. Ihad heard of Jesus the great teacher, the Jesus portrayed by Hollywood, the traditional Catholic image of Jesus and Isa the prophet in Islam. I had even thought of Jesus as another spiritual teacher like those I had encountered through yoga and meditation. But I had never known Him as the living Son of God.
So I began reading the Bible. Jeremiah 29:13 says, “You will seek me and find me when youseek me with all your heart.” So I sought Him.
The more I read, the more I realised that Jesus wasn’t simply another path to God. He wasn’t another spiritual teacher offeringanother way to improve myself. He was calling me to repentance, forgiveness, reconciliation with God and surrender.
While working abroad, I met a Christian volunteer charity worker who was also apastor. I told him about my past and what had happened to me, and he began showing me Scripture. Colossians 2:8 and Deuteronomy 18 confronted me deeply. I realised that I couldn’t simply add Jesus to everything else I believed. I had to turn away from the things I had embraced, repent, renounce the New Age beliefs and practices that had deceived me, and surrender my life to Christ.
Jesus says that He did not come into the world to condemn the world, but to save it (John 3:17). Romans 2:4 tells us that it is the goodness of God that leads us to repentance.
When I finished that overseas assignment, I knew it would be my last. For years I had travelled and worked abroad partly to get away from life. Now I didn’t want tokeep running. When I returned home to England, I joined a church and was baptised.
That was not the end of my journey. Itwas the beginning of a new life.
I began to understand what Jesus meant by being born again. This wasn’t simply about becoming religious or adopting a newset of beliefs. God was giving me new life and changing me from the inside out. I had spent years trying to find myself, improve myself and create my own identity. Now I was discovering that real transformation came through surrendering myself to God.
The emptiness I had tried to fill with partying, relationships, possessions, travel and spirituality began to be filled with Jesus. My desires began to change. My priorities began to change. The things I once pursued no longer satisfied me inthe same way. I began to want what God wanted.
I began to build a relationship with Jesus through prayer, through His Word and throughlearning to trust and obey Him. His Word became alive to me. Hebrews describes it as living and active, sharper than a double edged sword. I found that it reaches into the places wewould rather leave untouched. It cuts, exposes, corrects and heals. It begins to weed the garden of the heart so that something new can grow.
I began to understand what it meant to be a child of God and to know that I was loved by my Heavenly Father. I discovered a strength and joy that I knew did not come from me. I began to understand the work of the Holy Spirit and that following Jesus was not simply about believing the right things, but aboutallowing Him to transform the way I live.
I still fail. I still need to repent. I am still being changed. But I no longer want to return tothe life I once lived. I want to know Jesus, walk with Him, obey Him and become morelike Him. Galatians 2:20 says, “I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me.” That is the direction of my life now, not perfection, but surrender.
Jesus is more than a prophet or a spiritual teacher. He is alive. He loves us. He came tosave us from our sins and reconcile us to the Father. The person who once believed that every spiritual path led to the same destination discovered that Truth was not simply an idea or philosophy. Truth had a name. Jesus.
Looking back, I can see God’s mercy running through every part of my story. I thought I was searching for Him, but He was already drawing me. What I thought was the end of my life became the beginning of a new one.
As I continued to walk with the Lord, I trained and prepared for certain areas of ministry, but God, in His wisdom, closed those doors and lovingly redirected my steps. Through this, He taught me that calling is not about titles or platforms, but about obedience and trust. “In their hearts humans plan their course, but the LORD establishes their steps.” Proverbs 16:9.
Today, my desire is simply to follow wherever He leads, sharing His love through the gospel, writing, outreach and service as the Holy Spirit directs. I don’t know everything God has planned for my life, but I know who holds it.
If you are searching as I once was, looking for truth, meaning, identity or somethingthat will finally fill the emptiness inside you, I want you to know that God can meet you exactly where you are. You don’t have to have everything worked out. You don’t have to make yourself worthy. Come to Him. Repent. Surrender. Let Him make you new.
I know because He met me there. When I thought I was searching for Him, He was searching for me. I was lost, and He found me. I was broken, and He met me there.
All glory belongs to Him.
~ Lori 💕
Read the related article: The Truth About New Age Spirituality: 40 Beliefs That Conflict With Scripture.
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*How to be saved: The Path To Salvation, please click: HERE / Photo by Eberhard Grossgasteiger
