People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. When you figure out which one it is, you will know what to do for each person.
When someone is in your life for a REASON . . . It is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally, or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend, and they are! They are there for the reason you need them to be.
Then, without any wrong doing on your part, or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.
What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered. And now it is time to move on.
When people come into your life for a SEASON . . . Because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn. They bring you an experience of peace, or make you laugh.
They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it! It is real! But, only for a season.
LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons; things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person, and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life.
Sermon by Pastor Vlad Savchuk “What Type of Sex is OK in Marriage?” Please note that this is of mature content.
Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous. ~ Hebrews 13:4
Have you ever wondered what God says about sex inside of marriage and what is allowed and not allowed? Here Pastor Vlad Savchuk answers this question in the video above. He has had to counsel many couples on the subject matter and now brings the topic into the open, as it’s deemed a taboo topic within the church community and hardly ever discussed in the church or in the household, except for to abstain from sexual activity outside of marriage. Sometimes it has been deemed to be a dirty and sinful act, however sex is something that God created to be enjoyed within the marriage covenant and is a beautiful thing to help bond the relationship between a husband and wife. However, as we know what the Lord creates for good the enemy corrupts, clearly seen in the world today. In a day and age where anything goes, even within the church community, the world has polluted our minds, so it’s good to get clarification on what’s permissible and the liberties that one has within the marital covenant.
If the topic of sex is not discussed within the church community with the biblical truth, then our youth will seek the answers elsewhere and the enemy is always waiting in the wings to provide the information that will corrupt impressionable minds, as well as defile the temple of the holy spirit (i.e., our bodies). As the saying goes, “we cannot continue to send our children to Caesar for their education and be surprised when they come home as Romans.”
Transcript of the video “What Type of Sex is OK in Marriage?” by Pastor Vlad Savchuk:
The Marriage bed. What is allowed? What is not? What is okay to do?
Is it okay do this or is it okay to do that?
Warning! This video is not suitable for all audiences. This is going to be of mature content and please be careful who is listening to it, if you are watching this somewhere in the living room or in the house.
“Marriage bed undefiled” the Greek word here for undefiled is only used in this exact form four times in the New Testament and it means uncontaminated, and set apart. So, what is not okay? What is the defiling of the marriage bed? Let’s look at four things that I believe defile marriage bed.
Number one is adultery.
Now obviously, we know that it is sin. It’s wrong. Matthew 19:9, 1 Thessalonians 4:3-4, indicate that adultery is a sin. We see this in the ten commandments. Spouse swapping is also adultery. They have T.V. shows, they have practices today in our culture where adultery is portrayed as good. We are experimenting. We are trying something out something different, and the Bible still calls that adultery. So, adultery is definitely a no, no.
The second thing that’s not good, that’s not okay, and it’s a sin is threesomes.
Threesomes is when more than two people are engaged in sexual intercourse. And it’s done with permission or it’s done with consent. People are okay doing that. And some people say that hey, it’s completely fine as long as we’re are all on the same boat. Some people even use the Bible to say, “Well, look, Jacob had two sisters that he had sex with.” Well, not really. Yes, polygamy was permitted even though it was not God’s perfect will because Jesus from the beginning stated that divorce and polygamy and all this other stuff; it was not there from the beginning and therefore it’s not God’s will. but it was allowed for that time for the nation of Israel.
But Jacob was not sleeping with Rachael and Leah at the same time. There is not one instance. On the opposite, they would fight so that Jacob would go and sleep with Leah because he was planning to go and spend the night with Rachael. And so, we don’t see one indication or event hint that Jacob slept with both of the two sisters together. And that is wrong and that is not okay and the Bible condemns that.
The third thing is virtual adultery or we call it porn.
Bringing porn into your marriage, Pornography is going to destroy your marriage. I’ve known people who have wanted to spice up their sex life and they brought porn and both of them were I guess okay watching porn. Usually, one person is kind of hesitant, the other person is like super fired up in cases like these. Most of the marriages that I know who did that if they did not repent, their marriages fell apart.
You are inviting demons into your marriage and plus it’s so unfair for marriage to compare to pornography because pornography is acting, and it’s adult acting. It takes days to make a 40-minute porn video and most of those people are on drugs.
They are using drugs to get through this career that they are in. And afterwards a lot of them, they don’t do really well. It really takes a huge toll on their life. There is so much abuse that happens there. And if you watch the testimonies, and I’ve watched quite few testimonies who were in that industry, and they testify of how dark and how horrible that place is. And so, when you take out of that place, which is a place of drugs, which is a place of abuse, which is a place of unrealistic- that’s not even real and you bring that into your marriage bed thinking that’s all we need, very soon those spirits that are operating behind those people and that industry will come into your life through those films and they will destroy your marriage to the ground or your sexual life to the ground.
Number four is rape.
What’s not allowed. So, we’ve mentioned adultery, threesomes, watching porn, and rape. Colossians 3:19, I want to mention. So, the problem with rape and I had to deal with in my pastoral work I would say, or ministry where some spouses, men in particular feel like it’s not rape because of 1 Corinthians 7:1-5, my wife’s body belongs to me therefore I am entitled, therefore I can demand and I could force sex on my spouse. But– that’s first all, misquoting that Scripture and taking it out of context. Rape is all non-consensual sex within marriage or outside of it. Most people think rape is only outside of marriage. So, if I have non-consensual sex with somebody it’s rape but if I am married to this person, it’s not rape. They owe me. I’m just taking what’s mine. Are you? Is it yours or does that body belong to Jesus?
Are you simply claiming what’s yours or are you being a rapist? Rape is non-consensual sex even within marriage. Forcing it and demanding it is not what the Scripture in 1 Corinthians 7 is talking about. 1 Corinthians 7 is talking about giving satisfaction in sex. Serving the other person in sex. Not demanding and not forcing sex on your spouse. So, if you are using that verse to justify a forced or demanding or you are entitled kind of attitude towards sex as a man, you are misquoting the Bible and that’s not a character of Christ. Because in that verse it’s talking about serving your spouse not making them your slave.
Now what about what’s okay in the marriage bed?
So, we’ve mentioned some things that defile the marriage bed but now let’s look at some things that are honestly, sex Toys, Oral Sex, Different Positions is it okay or is it not okay? Things like oral sex, things like different positions sex toys. So here are concerning these things that I want to bring first of all like a basic framework of how each couple should decide whether oral sex, sex toys or different positions are allowed. Because there is really no one way or the other way in the Bible even though I know some people are very strong set on against oral sex or some people have said “Hey, it’s okay to have oral sex in marriage.” Some people are against sex toys and some people are like “Oh, it’s okay to have sex toys.”
And I’m going to touch on each of them in just a moment but here are the three questions you should ask before you can determine if this is okay for you or not.
The first question you should ask is if the Scripture condemns it. Is it prohibited in the Scripture? Because if it’s not you can assume it is permitted.
The second question that we have to ask is, is this beneficial? Is this harming me, or is this harmful or is this helpful? Now, I get these questions from Apostle Paul’s writings. Apostle Paul, 1 Corinthians 6:12 he says: So, the first questions is like is it lawful? Is the Bible against it? If the Bible is silent, okay, maybe it’s permitted.
Number two, is this harmful? Is this beneficial? Like is there physical harm to this activity or not? And is this going to bring your marriage together or you are going to separate after that? Like, you are going to drift apart.
And then third one, and this is the big one, this is the biggest deal breaker for any kind of topic that a lot of couples ask about concerning different sex acts or positions. Is the other spouse on board with it? Is there mutual consent? Is this spouse forced into what she’s not comfortable with? If that’s the case then it’s not okay. Even if the Bible is not against it even if you’re like, “Oh, there is no harm in this”, but the other spouse is not consenting to it the other spouse is not comfortable with it then it’s not okay for your marriage.
So, if you can’t deprive yourself from your spouse without consent, you need consent to explore each other in this particular way that you may have a question with your spouse’s permission and their consent. And if they are not comfortable, you can’t push it you can’t force it.
Now few thoughts on oral sex.
The Bible does not condemn oral sex within marriage. We don’t see strong condemnation against it. Outside of marriage, oral sex is still sex and it’s sin. And so, it’s never supposed to be used as an alternative to actually having intercourse for unmarried couples. Sometimes people are like, “Yeah, we are just messing around.”
No! You are committing fornication if you are having oral sex with your girlfriend or with your boyfriend. Period! Now within marriage oral sex is free from sin as long as there is mutual consent. In fact, some people go as far as to say that there are verses in the Bible that indicate or speak of oral sex in Song of Solomon. In Song of Solomon 2:3 where the fruit represents the male genitals and in Song of Solomon 4:16 where the garden throughout the Book of Song of Solomon is speaking or is used for vagina. And so, if you read those verses, you can get pretty much the implication that this is referring to oral sex. But again, each marriage bed is going to be different depending on what each person is comfortable with. When it comes to oral sex, I would really encourage because usually it’s the guys who are like, “Yeah, I want to do it. I want my wife to do it.” But are those desires fuelled and created because you watched pornography? Or they are just godly desires to explore your spouse in an intimate way?
And a lot of times in the area of marriage, one of the spouses feels very grossed out by this idea because of the abuse or because of the way they grew up where the idea of sex in marriage was very gross. I remember I heard a testimony of one guy, he was a prophet actually he’s still alive. I think he has like 17 kids and he claimed that he has never seen his wife naked. And they have 17 kids. I don’t know how they did it but they did it somehow.
And some of the religious upbringing have this very very strict idea on marriage bed where like, God is there watching or God is just leaving the room like come on, get it done with quickly. You know, move on with your life. But God created sex and He wants us to have joy and enjoy it and have pleasure and explore each other and get to know each other as long as it is done in a way that does not bring another person into that marriage bed whether virtually or physically. As long as you are not bringing fantasies also about somebody else onto your spouse and as long as there is consent to that. And so it will depend on each couple and it’s a liberty that each couple has to exercise. There is really no rule against or for it when it comes to oral sex.
Now sex toys.
And I reached out to our marriage ministry, kind of asked them of this also advice on this. I think that people don’t need sex toys in their marriage bed but I’m going to read something that they sent to me. It’s a conversation that they had with one person who said this: The same thing as can people masturbate outside of marriage? It’s something that is wrong, I believe. And so, I think that when it comes to this, when it comes to sex toy even though the Bible does not explicitly say anything against it or for it, I think that if it replaces your spouse or if you can no longer satisfy your spouse that you need a toy now, then you really are already kind of adding some foxes in your vineyard. And you should examine what is happening really in your heart and what’s happening with the quality of your marriage. Because sex is not really– it’s really like a revealer of what’s happening in your marriage. It’s not necessarily a deal breaker like where it makes your marriage, as much as it reveals if your marriage is doing good or is broken. So my stance on this I think that couples should abstain from it.
Anal sex.
I know that in our culture it’s portrayed now as it’s okay and it’s something that people push for and go for especially because of pornography that it’s being pushed in our culture. Now I want to mention something about that, what it’s not. Some people misuse the Scripture in the Old Testament to say that anal sex is bad because of those Scriptures. I think anal sex is bad and I don’t think you should practice it but not because of those Scriptures.
So let me read to you from Gotquestions.org, I honestly agree with that. And so, I think that it’s– you might not find a Scripture that it’s wrong but I do think it’s unhealthy, it’s not safe and I think the couple should abstain from it. And those ones who are really eager to experiment some of this little craziness should really maybe get delivered from pornography or effects of pornography because a lot of it is watching porn in your past that can affect and give you ideas and fantasies on how you should have or explore your spouse in your marriage.
Conclusion
The more your eyes are pure, the more your heart is pure the more the pleasure will be pure in your marriage. And you don’t need to do anything to add to it from the world or from the practices of adult stars or practice all of this kind of immorality.
I hope that this brought some clarity. I do know that this a very sensitive topic. If some of you are going to unsubscribe after this, it’s completely fine but I do know that not a lot of people are brave to mention or even talk about this. I was kind of hesitant about it. I asked my wife for permission and also had our marriage ministry to kind of go through my notes as well so that I could bring some clarity on this topic. There is a book I read after I got married called, “Sheet Music” by Kevin Leman. I think that what’s the book was about. It deals with sexual relationship from a medical point of view. He is a Christian guy. Even though I don’t agree on some things, but it also brought also a lot of clarity to me and we even recommend it to married couples. And so that’s something that I would leave as a resource to you.
God bless you. Thank you very much for watching this video.
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***By Pastor Vladimir Savchuk of Hungrygen Church / Photo by Pexels
It isn’t just the numbers that are shocking – 1,200 lives lost and rising. It’s the horrific details. Hamas terrorists stormed a music festival in southern Israel, firing indiscriminately. Reports of teenagers gunned down came amid the news that an elderly Holocaust survivor was among the hostages. And then, as if it were possible, everything got worse. I won’t repeat the details of the massacre at Kfar Aza, it’s too harrowing. But if you want to know, you can see here.
I’ve visited the region many times. Spoken to people on both sides of the divide. And every time, I’ve come away with the realisation that this conflict is far more complicated than I’d thought before.
But some things aren’t complicated, and that’s why Western governments have rightly flown the flag for Israel. This is not because they have no sympathy with the Palestinian cause, as some have mistakenly thought. Just as the civilized world were united in their condemnation of the Islamist hatred that led to 9/11, so the atrocities committed by Hamas have rightly been condemned.
As Christians, we are called to pray for everyone in these lands. The Bible says the God of Israel neither slumbers nor sleeps (Psalm 121). Here’s how we can use the scriptures to call on him:
1. Pray for the peace of Jerusalem
“Pray for the peace of Jerusalem. ‘May those who love you be secure. May there be peace within your walls and security within your citadels.’” (Psalm 122:6-7)
Jerusalem is the only city in scripture which God’s people are specifically instructed to pray for by name. There are historical reasons for this (the Bible was written almost entirely by Jewish people, who had and have a natural love for the holy city). But today, when we pray for Jerusalem, we are praying for those on allsides of the conflict. Jews, Christians and Muslims live in Jerusalem, with Palestinians and Israelis alike calling this city home. We are to pray there would be “peace within [its] walls”. That peacebuilding initiatives which bring Jews and Arabs together would flourish. Pray that the next generation will not be taught to hate the other, but to love.
2. Pray for the protection of innocent civilians
“A voice is heard in Ramah, weeping and great mourning, Rachel weeping for her children and refusing to be comforted, because they are no more.” (Matthew 2:18)
We have already seen heartbreaking images of innocent families in Gaza who have lost loved ones. The strip is densely populated, and Hamas use human shields, often basing themselves in mosques, schools and hospitals. We must therefore pray for Palestinians – whether Muslim or Christian – that their families will be protected from what is about to unfold. We must pray that even in their just anger, Israel’s army will make wise and godly decisions, so that innocent Palestinians will be allowed to live in safety. Pray that Israel would heed the Old Testament command: “The foreigner residing among you must be treated as your native-born. Love them as yourself” (Leviticus 19:34). Civilian Palestinians are not the enemy, and must be protected.
3. Pray that evil ideologies will be exposed and gospel truth will prevail
“For there is nothing covered that will not be revealed, nor hidden that will not be known. Therefore whatever you have spoken in the dark will be heard in the light, and what you have spoken in the ear in inner rooms will be proclaimed on the housetops.” (Luke 12:2-3)
The evil ideology of Hamas (“Israel will exist until Islam obliterates it”) must be exposed and confronted.
But as the West has discovered during past conflicts, bombs don’t work when it comes to destroying ideologies. That’s why we must pray that the truth of the gospel will break into hard hearts.
On the road to Damascus, a violent man full of hate was overwhelmed by the love of God. The same God who saved Saul and turned him into Paul is able to reach today’s terrorists.
4. Pray for the Church
“For [Jesus] himself is our peace, who has made the two groups [Jew and Gentile] one and has destroyed the barrier, the dividing wall of hostility…His purpose was to create in himself one new humanity out of the two, thus making peace,and in one body to reconcile both of them to God through the cross, by which he put to death their hostility.” (Ephesians 2:14-16)
This scripture explains how Jesus’ death on the cross has ended the ethnic hostility between Jews and Gentiles. This is apparent today in churches where Israelis and Palestinians worship alongside one another in peace.
Whether predominantly Messianic, Arab, or mixed, these churches need our prayers. Pray for their leaders, that they would model the fruits of the Spirit (Galatians 5), especially love, peace and goodness. Pray that the unity of these churches would be protected. Pray that forgiveness would flow and justice would roll on like a river (Amos 5:24).
5. Pray for the Jewish community in the UK and around the world
“The Lord is a stronghold for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble.” (Psalm 9:9)
In the aftermath of Hamas’ terror attack, a Jewish bakery in north London was smashed, and the word “free Palestine” strewn across it. Reports of anti-semitic incidents in the UK have trebled. Videos have circulated online of a Palestinian activist in Manchester saying, in response to the Hamas atrocities: “we are full of pride and joy for what has happened”.
Such events, not to mention similar scenes in Australia (chants of “gas the Jews”) and the US, mean our Jewish friends are deeply worried for their own safety. British Synagogues and Jewish schools have long had airport-style security on their doors, and tensions will be running high.
As Christians, we must be aware of our history. Many of our past leaders were anti-semitic, and their theology paved the way for the Holocaust. We must not commit the same crimes of our forbearers. We must not hesitate when it comes to standing up for our Jewish brothers and sisters. Pray that their places of worship and education will be protected. Pray that justice will prevail, and those guilty of religious hate crimes will be brought to swift justice.
And ultimately, as our hearts break for the people of Gaza and the people of Israel, you may wish to pray the last prayer we find in scripture. Revelation 21:20. “Come, Lord Jesus.”
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*** Sam Hailes is the editor of Premier Christianity, the UK’s leading Christian magazine / Alamy Stock Photo: Source Daniren
God’s Word makes it clear that we are engaged in warfare against Satan. We need the armor of God to be able to “stand firm” against the “schemes of the devil” (Eph 6:10-18). Many Biblical writers describe the evil character of the one who seeks to destroy what God loves. Peter describes the devil as our adversary who “prowls around like a roaring lion seeking someone to devour” (1 Pet 5:8 NIV). In Revelation, John refers to him as “the old serpent,” who “deceives the whole world” (Rev 12:9). John’s gospel is where we learn that the devil “was a murderer from the beginning and has nothing to do with the truth because there is no truth in him … he is a liar and the father of lies” (John 8:44). Paul calls him the “god of this world who has blinded the minds of the unbelievers, to keep them from seeing the light of the gospel of the glory of Christ” (2 Cor 4:4). He is the “prince of the power of the air” who is “at work” around us. This evil one seeks to turn people from what God has designed for their ultimate blessing and good.
Satan knows that God created marriage as a beautiful, living picture of Christ and the Church. God designed both marriage and the family for our benefit. Satan knows the value of the family, how it is the fabric of a good solid society, the foundation of vibrant growing assemblies, and the future of God’s work on earth. If Satan can be successful in tearing down the structure and substance of the family unit, then he will be successful in damaging what is dear to God’s heart.
Satan’s Attack on the Institution of Marriage, the Foundation of the Family
When God finished creating the first couple, He called what He had made “very good.” This man and woman were united in a holy bond before God. For the benefit of future generations, God explained, “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” God requires from the married couple a level of separation from others and a commitment to each other which will provide a stable foundation for the family unit.
Satan’s initial attack on the family occurred in Eden where the old serpent worked his evil deception on Eve and destroyed the harmony of the first marriage. In listening to Satan and disobeying God, Eve and Adam plunged themselves, and all subsequent families, into slavery in the “kingdom of darkness.” Satan’s attack on the family has continued until today. There are signs of it all around us. With the increasing rate of divorce, the acceptance of common-law relationships, the barrage of Hollywood immorality, and the legalization of same gender marriages, we can see how successful Satan has been in twisting and perverting God’s best for us and depriving us of the blessings that marriage brings to the family.
Satan’s Attack on the Internal Mechanics of the Family Unit
Good marriages are the foundation of solid families. If Satan can successfully destroy the marriage, this will have a devastating impact upon the rest of the family. According to a recent survey,1 85% of all children that exhibit behavioral disorders come from fatherless homes. However, even when a father is present, if the parents are not married, it is still detrimental to the children. In an annual report,2 David Popenoe, a Rutgers sociology professor and report co-author speaks of the increase of cohabitation, “I don’t think it’s good news, especially for children … As society shifts from marriage to cohabitation — which is what’s happening — you have an increase in family instability. The United States has the weakest families in the Western world because we have the highest divorce rate and the highest rate of solo parenting.” God, in His wisdom, knew that children needed the stability of married parents.
The more closely we understand God’s design for the family, the better we will be able to recognize when Satan tries to change and undermine it. Through Paul and Peter, God gives us clear instructions regarding the spheres of responsibility and authority within the family (Eph 5:22-6:4; Col 3:18-21; 1 Tim 5:14; Tit 2:4-5; 1 Pet 3:1-7). Two truths, which appear repeatedly in these passages, are the headship of the husband and the submission of the wife. Scripture likens their relationship to that of Christ and the Church. John Piper, in his book, This Momentary Marriage, says, “Headship is the divine calling of a husband to take primary responsibility for Christ-like servant leadership, protection, and provision in the home. Submission is the divine calling of a wife to honor and affirm her husband’s leadership and help carry it through according to her gifts.” In Dietrich Bonhoeffer’s Letters and Papers from Prison, he writes about the husband, “As the head, it is he who is responsible for his wife, for their marriage, and for their home. On him falls the care and protection of the family; he represents it to the outside world; he is its mainstay and comfort.” The responsibility of the husband is to provide leadership that is motivated and directed by the agape love of Christ. The husband is to love his wife “as Christ loved the Church and gave Himself up for her,” and to “nourish and cherish” her as one would his own body. When the husband provides a leadership marked by this sacrificial love, the wife will respect her husband and the marriage will flourish. The husband, who is fulfilling his role as head, will seek to meet the needs of the family. The wife, secure in the love and devotion of her husband, will support and help him in every possible way.
Satan has done a masterful job at distorting these two divine mandates (headship and submission). So often we see men who authoritatively control families in a selfish, self-serving way. The other extreme, in which men cede the responsibility for guiding the family to the wife, is also widespread. Correspondingly, while some women are dominated by their husbands, others seek to be the controlling force in the home and do not respect them. These scenarios reveal how successful Satan has been in persuading people to abandon God’s ideal. Any time someone believes that living out the principles of godly headship and submission would somehow make their family life less than it should be, Satan has been successful at his pernicious work of deception. May God give husbands today the courage to provide the loving leadership God intended them to exercise, and wives the grace to respect and support their husbands.
The Scriptures provide clear guidelines for the children’s sphere in family life. God instructs them to accept the authority of their parents, “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Honor your father and mother” (Eph 6:1-2). Satan has tried to undermine the parental authority of the home by introducing messages of insubordination and by seeking to render the parents unable to assert their authority over the children. Once you are aware of this truth you can begin to see the many specific ways that Satan is doing this today in the media, literature, music, etc. Many television shows and children’s books portray the father figure as weak or foolish. One of the numerous songs which encourage children to resist parental authority, Billy Joel’s “My Life,” defiantly addresses parents: “I don’t want you to tell me it’s time to come home. I don’t care what you say anymore, this is my life. Go ahead with your own life, leave me alone.” Thus Satan whispers to children that submission and obedience are not best for them. The music the children listen to, their entertainment, and the atmosphere of the home are important leadership responsibilities. If fathers are to bring up children in the “discipline and instruction of the Lord,” they must fulfill their leadership responsibilities in the family and this is to be done lovingly, without provoking their children to anger (Eph 6:4).
Satan’s Attack on the Intention of God for the Christian Home
The home is where the Word of God is taught and preserved, and where sound doctrine is explained and lived out. This is the Scriptural pattern. A godly life of faith which characterized Timothy was first displayed in the home of his grandmother, then his mother, and then his own. From childhood he was “acquainted with the sacred writings” which were able to make him “wise unto salvation through faith in Christ Jesus” (2 Tim 3:15). Parents must give the Scriptures priority in the home because God’s Word is the necessary foundation. Satan has done a masterful job at keeping families so busy that they have little time to read the Bible, let alone study it and put it into practice in their lives. Spending time in God’s Word and waiting upon God is essential. If Satan can keep families too busy for the Scriptures, they will lose their joy, strength, and effectiveness in this world. Satan, using busyness as his tool, has robbed many families of the time God wants them to spend with each other. This results in a lack of both closeness and enjoyment in each other. Husbands and wives need time together to nurture their relationship. They need time with their children if they are going to fulfill the Scriptural mandate of training up a child in the way he should go (Prov 22:6). This training takes time and focus, both of which are lost when lives become frantically busy and stressed. The family needs time when the earplugs are out, Internet is closed down, and telephone ringers are off, and when the needs of family members are lovingly met. Time must be taken for reading and praying together and for eating and playing together. As families live out God’s plan for them, God will be glorified, families blessed, and assemblies enriched.
When parents spend time with God and allow their behavior to be guided by God’s Word, this will produce Christlikeness in them that will draw their children’s hearts to God. Any way in which Satan can keep parents’ lives from exhibiting the fruit of the Spirit—love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control—will detract from the character of the family and the members will suffer loss. When he can plant the seed of unforgiveness, family peace and joy are destroyed. If he can convince members to act in a hypocritical manner, integrity is lost. If he can persuade children or parents to stretch the truth or shade it, even the smallest bit, trust is destroyed and damage ensues. The family’s ultimate protection against Satan’s attacks is to know and live out God’s truth. As His truth and love are expressed through the functioning of the family, even neighbors and friends may be drawn to God.
In conclusion, God, Who created the family, has provided the divine design and instruction in His Word so that families can flourish. Our best defense is to know the pattern, so that we will be able to discern Satan’s subtle attacks, and to let the fruit of the Spirit characterize our lives. We need godly leadership, respect, and love, along with fervent prayer and dependence on God. He alone can preserve our families for His own honor. May God help families to follow His truth and cling closely to Him.
1Men Against Domestic Violence. 2 An annual report, which analyzes census and other data, issued by the National Marriage Project at New Jersey’s Rutgers University.
There’s a reason why so many of us begin praying for our children while they’re still in the womb: We understand that we’re in a war.
God’s Word describes it this way in Ephesians 6:12: “For we are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places.”
And while we’re all targets for the enemy’s schemes, Satan is smart enough to recognize that attacks on our kids are especially powerful.
He understands that if he can grab their hearts and establish false teachings in their mind from the earliest age, all he has to do is sit back and watch the dominos fall.
Yes, it’s a terrifying thought to know that our children have an enemy that actively plots to hurt them.
But here’s the great news: The Bible promises that nothing, nothing can thwart God’s good plans for our children. No plan from the enemy can snatch our kids out of God’s awesome covering. And speaking of that enemy, we read in Revelation 20 that he has already lost the war. Amen!
As Christians, our job now is to fight! And as Christian parents, these great battles for our kids’ hearts are fought in prayer as we use God’s Truth to claim victory, break down half-truths and ask for divine guidance (2 Corinthian 10:3-5).
However, as a parent, it’s incredibly easy to be overwhelmed by this task! We know that we’re supposed to be praying for our kids, but what specific areas are our kids most susceptible to satanic attack?
Truly, there’s no one answer to that question! Every child is unique.
Yet, I believe there are 5 general areas where our enemy tends to attack this generation of kids. Let’s take a look at each of them and discover how we can best pray against the enemy’s evil schemes.
Area #1: Self-Worth
We want our children’s inner thoughts and self-worth to reflect the thoughts that God has about them.
Instead of being filled with puffed up pride or mere “self-love,” we desire that they believe the truth: That they are beautifully handmade by a Creator who loves them so much that He gave His son’s life to have a relationship with them.
We want them to understand how much God values them, and that nothing or no one can change who they are in Christ.
How Satan Attacks:
He teaches them that life is all about them and their pleasure.
At the same time, he is quick to condemn them for their mistakes and to “rub their noses in it” and tell them they aren’t worthy.
How We Can Pray:
Dear Jesus, help our kids know that we are all born as sinners and separated from God because of our wicked hearts. However, at an early age, help our children grasp the life-transforming concept that they don’t have to live as a sinner under that condemnation.
Teach our children that they have the opportunity to accept a new, beautiful identity that is called “good,” not because of what they have done or what they look like, but because they are secure in who YOU say they are: treasured, delightful, known and protected. Let them not place their self-worth in accomplishments they may or may not achieve, but let them discover these deeper truths about who You believe they are and build every decision they make on that sure foundation.
Area #2: Body Image
We want our kids to have a deep reverence for the intricate way their unique body is formed, and because of this respect, we want our kids to grow up honoring their bodies as temples of the Holy Spirit.
We want our kids to treat their bodies with respect by honoring the boundaries God suggests, such as sexual exchange only between a man and a woman within the confines of a marital relationship.
While we want our kids to take care of their bodies through healthy food choices and regular exercise, we also want them to understand that they are not defined by their physical appearance.
How Satan Attacks:
The enemy is hard at work in this area today! First, he tells our kids that they’re not uniquely made, but that they’re simply a result of a random combination of genes that’s taken millions of years to create.
Then he convinces our kids that they are mere animals with physical desires that should be fulfilled at any cost. He wants them to believe that physical pleasure (such as sexuality outside of marriage) is normal and right and that anyone who tells them differently is being judgmental.
In terms of health, he uses television and the media to oh-so-subtly promote certain body shapes as ideal over others. Tweens and teens are especially weak in this area since their bodies are rapidly changing on the outside and they are asking pivotal questions about self-identity on the inside. He convinces them that every measure must be taken to achieve these ideal body images, including those that lead to eating disorders and drug abuse.
How We Can Pray:
Dear Jesus, we weep with you over the number of our kids who are buying into the lie that sexual pleasure is something to experiment with. We pray that our kids would treasure their sexuality as a true gift from You, and that they would honor that gift by saving it as a precious treasure to give their future spouse. We ask that you would help them to be strong in the face of their own desires and that they would choose purity in the face of temptation.
Lord we also ask that you’d protect our kids from the idea that they must do anything and everything (including abusing their bodies through eating disorders, drug abuse, or other harmful behaviors) in order to attaining a “preferred” shape or figure. We pray you’d protect our kids from that kind of destructive thinking, and that if they’re tempted to take these kind of drastic measures, that you’d send someone in their lives to stop them. Help them to remember over and over that their identity is not in how they look on the outside but what you see as their potential and worth on the inside.
We pray that our children would treasure their health as a gift from God and that they would have a passion to eat nutritious food and to stay active in order to do their part to take care of this treasure.
Area #3: Influences
We want our kids to be surrounded by those who can influence them toward God’s great purpose for their lives; and we also want our kids to grow to become those people who influence others in powerful ways for the greater good.
How Satan Attacks:
Satan’s easiest way to attack here would be, of course, to simply surround our kids with bad influences. But he’s a little trickier than that.
While he still does try to place negative influences in our children’s lives, he knows that we are good parents who do our best to protect our kids from the bad influences.
So he often attempts the opposite: He does everything in his power to (subtly) keep the good influences out.
He keeps our kids away from God’s word. He keeps our children’s parents (that’s us!) too busy and distracted to influence our kids the way that we need to. He strengthens our children’s natural tendency to laziness and complacency.
Using books, television, news reports and social media, he slowly simmers our kids in the false thinking that truth is relative and not absolute. Through this process, he affirms the falsehood that an individual’s godly influence is irrelevant and can even be considered offensive and judgmental against others’ beliefs.
Slowly, he convinces them that they can’t make a difference and that they really don’t have the power the change things anyway, so why even try?
How We Can Pray:
First, oh Lord, forgive us for the times when we have misplaced our priorities so that we haven’t been available to model a strong relationship with You in front of our kids. Help us to understand the power of our influence in our children’s lives and to reorder our schedule so that we can be available to both directly and indirectly offer the godly influence that our kids desperately need.
Second, while we do pray that our kids would be protected from negative influences, we also pray that you would surround them with friendships and mentor-type relationships that portray what it means to have an authentic relationship with Christ. In turn, we pray that you would raise our kids up to be the influencers of the next generation. We pray that you would allow godliness and righteousness to dwell in their hearts so richly that these evidences of your truth spill out of them and to every person they encounter.
Through it all, we pray that they would not be prone to laziness or complacency, but that they would believe that even a single candle burning in the dark makes a difference and would boldly stand up for truth, even when it’s unpopular.
Area #4: Passions
We want our kids to live purposefully and passionately, always seeking God’s direction. We want them to grow up with a willingness to persevere, a deep understanding of the cost (and joys) of commitment, and to be unwilling to settle for complacency and comfort.
How Satan Attacks:
He distracts and confuses them. He encourages them to use emotion to guide their decision-making instead of seeking to align their passions with what God is already doing.
In addition, he doesn’t want our kids to understand or appreciate their unique personality and talents that God has divinely given them.
Instead, he encourages them toward laziness. He convinces them to be content with seeking self-pleasure and the easy way out. Through mindless pursuits, he keeps them numb to the better life of magnificent beauty that comes from following God’s wild and wonderful best path.
How We Can Pray:
God, help us to know how to guide our kids in their passions by blessing us with the divine wisdom to know when to joyfully open up the gates toward new freedoms and desires, and when to curtail our children’s passions because they’re not able to accept the responsibilities yet in full. Help us model to our kids what it means to live passionately for You by boldly following the dreams you’ve placed in our heart, never settling for complacency.
Help us to direct our kids with both cautiousness and courage, not allowing our own fears about “what if…?” get in the way of how You want to use them in the world. We pray that our children would continuously seek your ways and your wisdom, regardless of what life brings. We pray that they would understand their importance in the world and that you’d make clear to them at a very early age how they can use their God-given talents to play a role in Your passion to show both truth and love to the nations.
Area #5: Money, Possessions and Work
We want our children to have a healthy relationship with money, understanding that possessions are not equated to a person’s worth nor do they bring ultimate happiness. We want them to understand that the things of this world can bring us enjoyment, but that lasting joy is found only in God.
How Satan Attacks:
Like Eve in the Garden, the enemy teases and tempts our kids with good looking “fruit” (worldly possessions) that he promises will solve their problems and bring fulfillment.
He convinces them that they need to do everything they can to get ahead (including compromising their values, if need be) because having lots of money and possessions is the ultimate goal.
Through a spirit of ingratitude, he keeps them insecure, empty and preoccupied with thoughts of what they do not have so that they’re always looking for more.
How We Can Pray:
Heavenly Father, help us to model a healthy example of how to handle possessions and money. Help us to work hard, but to not wear ourselves out in order to get rich so that our children can witness a positive, godly view of hard work and the pursuit of success.
We pray that our kids would persevere in whatever vocation you give them and that they would work with cheerful hearts as if they were serving you directly.
We pray that our kids would see at an early age that money and possessions are a gift from You and thus must be always held with an open hand so that You can use those gifts to bless others.
We ask that our kids would find their value in their true identity as a child of You, not in the possessions they do or do not have. We pray for contentment and gratefulness in whatever situation they’re given—rich or poor. We pray they would have a steadfast commitment to work hard with the talents you’ve given them so that they could support themselves, their families and use their money as a way to bless others in need.
Ultimately, we pray that they would discover that the greatest “wealth” they could possess would be in relationships, especially in a relationship with You.
Brothers and sisters, let’s commit anew today to begin regularly fighting against the enemy’s schemes by powerfully praying for our kids in these areas!
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*** By Alicia Michelle, author, speaker and blogger at YourVibrantFamily.com, is passionate about helping women discover their beautifully imperfect journey through parenting, marriage, homeschooling, faith and homemaking. She’s also happily married homeschool mom of four curious and amazing kids that keep her on her toes! / Repost from Crosswalk.com
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