A Guide to Understanding and Addressing Bullying

What is Bullying?

Bullying is a repeated, intentional behavior that exploits a power imbalance. It can occur in schools, workplaces, social groups, online spaces, or even in communities that are expected to be safe. Bullying is harmful and manipulative, and its effects can be long-lasting, impacting emotional, psychological, social, and physical well-being.

Forms of Bullying

Bullying can manifest in numerous ways:

Physical bullying: Harming someone’s body or belongings through hitting, pushing, theft, or vandalism.

Verbal bullying: Name-calling, teasing, threats, or degrading comments.

Emotional bullying: Intimidation, humiliation, belittling, shaming, or undermining a person’s confidence.

Social bullying: Collective isolation, exclusion from groups, spreading rumors, withholding important information, and manipulating friendships or social relationships.

Cyberbullying: Harassment, threats, or humiliation online via social media, messaging, or email, often anonymous and relentless, leaving victims with no safe space to retreat.

Bullying often combines several forms simultaneously. For example, social bullying can be accompanied by emotional manipulation, and cyberbullying may amplify verbal attacks.

Why People Bully

Individuals engage in bullying behavior for a variety of reasons. Some act out of a desire for control, dominance, or social power. Others may have insecurities, jealousy, or fear of being exposed, using bullying to deflect attention from their vulnerabilities. Some have learned aggressive or manipulative behaviors from past environments or family dynamics. Bullies often present a socially acceptable or competent exterior to hide harmful tendencies.

In group situations, bullying can escalate as individuals join in to protect themselves, gain favor, or conform to social pressures, especially when the bully is popular or influential. This group dynamic can make bullying more intimidating and difficult to address.

Why Victims Often Do Not Report

Victims frequently do not report bullying due to fear, shame, embarrassment, or uncertainty about how to respond. Many endure it silently, hoping it will die down, only to find the behavior escalates. Bullies frequently triangulate conflicts, drawing others in, spreading misinformation, or manipulating peers to isolate the victim. This can intensify the victim’s sense of powerlessness and encourage more people to participate, particularly if the bully is socially dominant.

Impacts on Victims

Bullying can affect individuals in multiple ways:

Emotional impacts: Anxiety, depression, fear, loss of confidence, and social withdrawal.

Physical impacts: Headaches, stomach aches, sleep disturbances, or other stress-related symptoms.

Social impacts: Isolation, loss of friendships, or reluctance to engage in school, work, or community activities.

Academic or professional impacts: Decreased performance, absenteeism, or disengagement.

Warning Signs of Bullying

Early recognition of warning signs is essential for timely intervention. Victims may exhibit:

Avoidance of certain people, places, or social situations. Sudden changes in mood, behavior, or personality. Unexplained physical injuries or complaints such as headaches or stomach aches. Withdrawal from friends, colleagues, or usual activities. Reluctance or anxiety about engaging with digital devices or online spaces. Decreased performance at school or work, missed deadlines, or frequent absenteeism.

Recognizing these warning signs can allow friends, family, educators, or colleagues to intervene and provide support before bullying escalates further.

Addressing Bullying

For Children

Parents and guardians play a critical role by encouraging open communication, creating safe spaces to discuss experiences, and teaching empathy and coping strategies. Practical steps include supporting children in forming healthy friendships, knowing when to remove themselves from harmful situations, and seeking help from trusted adults or school authorities. Schools play a key role by establishing anti-bullying policies, fostering inclusion and empathy, and responding promptly to cyberbullying with digital safety education.

For Adults

Bullying in adulthood can be subtle and complex, including exclusion from key information, undermining work or professional contributions, intimidation, or social manipulation. Adults can respond by documenting incidents, setting firm boundaries, seeking guidance from trusted colleagues or human resources, and escalating concerns through formal channels when necessary. Maintaining self-care through counseling, stress management, and supportive relationships is vital for coping with the impact of bullying.

Cyberbullying

Special precautions are needed for online harassment. Protective strategies include monitoring online interactions, using privacy settings, reporting harassment, and seeking support from trusted individuals or professionals. Communities, organizations, and institutions must foster cultures of accountability, respect, and inclusion to minimize opportunities for bullying to thrive.

Collective and Group Dynamics

Bullying often escalates in group settings. A popular or influential individual may orchestrate or encourage others to participate, using peer pressure, triangulation, or manipulation. Victims may be socially ostracized or misrepresented, reinforcing the bully’s control and isolation. Recognizing these patterns is essential in schools, workplaces, and social settings to prevent escalation and protect vulnerable individuals.

What Can Be Done About Bullying

Addressing and preventing bullying requires coordinated action from both individuals and organizations. Effective strategies include:

Recognize and acknowledge bullying: Understand its various forms and warning signs.

Document incidents: Keep detailed records for reporting or escalation.

Set boundaries: Clearly communicate limits and refuse to tolerate abuse.

Seek support: Engage trusted friends, family, colleagues, mentors, or professional advisors.

Report: Escalate concerns to schools, HR departments, or legal authorities when necessary.

Promote safe environments: Encourage policies, training, and programs that prevent bullying and support victims. Practice self-care: Prioritize mental and physical well-being, counseling, stress management, and supportive relationships.

Bullying thrives in secrecy and silence. By recognizing harmful behavior, standing firm in boundaries, supporting victims, reporting incidents, and creating accountable environments, individuals and organizations can reduce the prevalence and impact of bullying. Awareness, intervention, and consistent action are essential for creating communities where all individuals feel respected, safe, and valued.

Practical Strategies for Immediate Response

When facing bullying in real time, victims can use several practical strategies to protect themselves and respond safely:

Stay calm: Take deep breaths and avoid responding impulsively, which can escalate the situation.

Document immediately: Write down what happened, including times, dates, people involved, and witnesses. This creates a factual record for future reporting.

Set clear boundaries: If safe to do so, assertively communicate that the behavior is unacceptable. Simple statements like “I do not accept being treated this way” can establish limits.

Remove yourself if possible: Step away from the situation to reduce immediate risk and regain emotional control.

Seek support immediately: Contact a trusted friend, colleague, family member, or supervisor.

Having someone aware of the situation provides validation and protection.

Report through formal channels: Inform HR, school authorities, managers, or other relevant authorities.

Include documented evidence. Do not isolate yourself: Engage with supportive networks or professional help, such as counseling or advocacy groups, to process emotions and plan next steps.

Practice self-care: Prioritize physical and mental well-being through rest, healthy routines, and stress management techniques.

These strategies help victims respond safely, protect themselves, and prevent bullying from escalating further. Combined with organizational accountability and proactive measures, they form a comprehensive approach to reducing harm and fostering safer environments.

What to Do if You or Someone You Know is Being Bullied

The Bible reminds us that God is “a refuge for the oppressed” (Psalm 9:9). Whether you’re experiencing bullying or supporting someone who is, take these steps:

1. Pray for strength and wisdom: Trust in God’s power to protect and guide you (Psalm 46:1).

2. Seek support from trusted individuals: Speak with a parent, teacher, supervisor, or pastor.

3. Avoid harmful situations: Stay in safe, supportive environments and seek godly counsel.

4. Report the behavior: Escalate concerns to appropriate authorities, trusting that God is a God of justice (Isaiah 30:18).

Self-Care and Mental Health: Restoring Hope Through Christ

Bullying can leave deep emotional scars, but God offers healing and hope.

• Find peace in God’s presence: Turn to Scriptures like Philippians 4:6-7 to experience God’s peace in times of distress.

• Seek help from Christian counselors: Don’t hesitate to involve professionals who share a biblical perspective on healing and wholeness.

• Celebrate your worth in Christ: Remember, you are fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14). Surround yourself with uplifting people who affirm your value in God’s eyes.

Seeking Help and Support

If you or someone you know is experiencing bullying, remember that you are not alone. Reach out for help and trust in God’s promise: “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit” (Psalm 34:18).

Below are resources to guide you toward safety and healing:

In the USA

• National Bullying Prevention Center (PACER): Offers resources for children, parents, and educators to address bullying. Visit pacer.org/bullying or call 1-952-838-9000.

• StopBullying.gov: A government resource that provides information on how to recognize, prevent, and address bullying. Visit stopbullying.gov.

• National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: If bullying has caused emotional distress, contact 988 (or 1-800-273-TALK) for immediate assistance.

• Christian Counseling Resources: Seek guidance from faith-based counseling services such as Focus on the Family (focusonthefamily.com) or the American Association of Christian Counselors (aacc.net).

In the UK

• National Bullying Helpline: Provides practical advice for individuals dealing with bullying. Call 0300 323 0169 or email help@nationalbullyinghelpline.co.uk.

• Anti-Bullying Alliance: Offers resources and campaigns to help prevent bullying in schools and communities. Visit anti-bullyingalliance.org.uk.

• Childline: A resource for children and young people facing bullying. Call 0800 1111 or visit childline.org.uk.

• Bullying UK (Family Lives): Support for families and individuals dealing with bullying. Call their helpline at 0808 800 2222 or visit bullying.co.uk.

Encourage your church community to support anti-bullying efforts by sharing these resources and fostering environments where individuals feel safe and valued. Remember, “God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble” (Psalm 46:1).


*** Photo by Alexander Krivitskiy at Pexels

Why Jealousy and Envy are Soul Destroyers

One of the Ten Commandments is “You shall not covet.” Proverbs 27:4 reminds us of the destructive power of envy: “Wrath is cruel, and anger is outrageous; but who is able to stand before envy?” Envy and jealousy are not fleeting emotions—they can erode relationships, cloud judgment, and separate us from God’s peace.

A person’s attitude in life is all-important. Much of the work of counseling involves helping people accept their reality and reshape their attitudes. Many people harbor poor attitudes about themselves, others, and even God. Unfortunately, it is human nature to compare ourselves to others. Jealousy and envy are often the toxic results of this comparison, combining anger, insecurity, fear, and greed.

Jealousy, like its cousin envy, is a silent and destructive force. It can hide for years, silently scheming, until it strikes through slander, gossip, or even violence. Jealousy involves desiring what others have, while envy resents others for their blessings. Both attitudes are the opposite of love and aim to see others fail. They stem from an inability to recognize God’s provision in our lives and a lack of gratitude. James 3:16 warns us that “where envy and self-seeking exist, confusion and every evil thing are there.”

Comparison, low self-esteem, and a desire for status or attention fuel jealousy and envy. Social media and a lack of meaningful relationships can amplify these feelings, as can a lack of intimacy with God. Life is not about possessions or status. Coveting what others have is idolatry, as it places material things or success above God. God promises to provide for our needs, and He calls us to store up treasures in heaven by living generously and faithfully.

To overcome jealousy and envy, we must first acknowledge their presence in our hearts. We need to humble ourselves before God, asking Him to reveal the motives and feelings behind these emotions. Once we’ve confessed these sins to Christ, we can begin the process of transformation.

  1. Cultivate Gratitude.
    Gratitude is a powerful antidote to envy. Reflect on the blessings in your life and thank God daily, even for the small things. The Psalms are a wonderful resource for turning thankfulness into prayer. Gratitude shifts our focus from what we lack to what God has already provided.
  2. Avoid Comparison Traps.
    Social media often paints a false picture of people’s lives, fueling unhealthy comparisons. Instead, focus on activities that nourish your soul and draw you closer to God. Remember that God does not judge us by outward appearances, wealth, or accomplishments—He looks at the heart.
  3. Focus on Jesus.
    When we fix our eyes on Jesus, our perspective changes. Jesus modeled humility and selflessness, and He reminds us that eternal treasures matter more than worldly possessions or status. Living to please God brings peace and joy, knowing that we are saved by grace, not by our achievements.
  4. Understand the Root Causes.
    Analyze the triggers for jealousy and envy in your life. Why do certain people or situations provoke these feelings? Talking with trusted friends, counselors, or pastors can help uncover underlying issues and past wounds. Healing often begins when we confront these root causes and surrender them to God.
  5. Pray for Others and Yourself.
    Praying for the people you envy transforms your heart. Genuine prayer moves us from resentment to love and helps us see others through God’s eyes. It also deepens our relationship with God, who has given us unique talents and opportunities to serve others. True growth happens when we embrace these gifts and use them to glorify God.

Contentment is key to overcoming envy and jealousy. When we trust God as our provider, we stop striving for things that don’t truly satisfy. Hebrews 13:5 reminds us to “keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, ‘Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.’”

By cultivating gratitude, avoiding comparison, focusing on Jesus, addressing the root causes of envy, and growing through prayer, we align ourselves with God’s truth. These steps free us from the bondage of jealousy and lead to a life of peace, joy, and love.

Life is not about possessions, status, or recognition. It is about walking faithfully with God, trusting His plan, and rejoicing in His provision. As you surrender your struggles to God, remember His promise in Philippians 1:6: “He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” Seek Him first, and He will replace jealousy with peace, envy with love, and fear with contentment.


Prayer to Overcome Jealousy and Embrace Contentment

Heavenly Father,
We come before You with humble hearts, acknowledging that jealousy and envy can creep into our lives and cloud our vision of Your goodness. Lord, search our hearts and reveal any sinful attitudes that hinder our walk with You. Help us to surrender these feelings to You, trusting in Your abundant grace and provision.

Teach us to be content with what You have given us and to trust that Your plans for our lives are good. Fill us with gratitude for Your blessings, both great and small, and remind us daily of Your steadfast love and faithfulness.

Lord, protect us from the traps of comparison and the lies of the enemy that tell us we are not enough. Instead, let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith. Help us to find joy in serving You and others with the unique gifts You have entrusted to us.

Give us the strength to love those around us genuinely, even when envy tries to take root. Teach us to celebrate the successes of others and to pray for their well-being with sincere hearts. May our lives reflect Your love, which does not envy but rejoices in the truth.

Father, remind us that true joy and peace are found in Your presence, not in earthly possessions or status. Guide us to store up treasures in Heaven and to seek first Your Kingdom and righteousness.

We thank You for Your promise that You will never leave us nor forsake us. Fill us with Your Spirit, transforming our hearts and minds to be more like Christ. May we walk in freedom, contentment, and the joy that comes from knowing You.

In Jesus’ name, we pray,
Amen.

—————-

** By Fritz Chery at Bible reasons + Michael Linn a licensed professional counsellor, Resolute Counseling.com + Quote by Dr. Bill Edgar former president of Geneva Edu and pastor of the Reformed Presbyterian Church / Photo by Brett Jordan at Pexels