Category: Deception

Horoscopes, Astrology And Zodiac Signs

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A 2022 poll by YouGov found that 27% of Americans and 37% of adults under 30 believe in astrology. In fact, 31% of those are Catholics and 22% are Protestants. However, this belief has only increased as social media and celebrities have increased its popularity. Many newspapers include daily horoscopes that advise on how to act or what to expect each day. To understand why this growing belief is concerning, we need to see how astrology is different from science.

Astrology vs Astronomy

Astrology often gets confused with astronomy, but the two are very different. Astronomy is a science focused on studying stars, planets, and space; it helps us understand God’s creation. Astrology, however, is not scientific. It’s a belief system that attempts to predict personal events or personality traits by interpreting celestial movements. 

Astrology revolves around the “zodiac,” a term from the Greek word “zodiakos,” meaning “circle of animals,” derived from “zoon,” which means animal. This term refers to constellations associated with animals along the zodiac’s path. This “zodiac belt” represented the course through which the sun, moon, and planets appear to move over the year, which would then have an influence on a person’s personality or destiny.

While this belief is growing in cultural popularity and may seem innocent on the surface, we as believers should be on the lookout. To understand why, it’s essential to see the origins of this belief system.

What Does the Bible Say About Astrology?

The Bible clearly warns against astrology. In Isaiah 47:13-14, God rebukes Babylon and its astrologers, telling them that their reliance on the stars will not protect them from judgment. We also see in Deuteronomy 18:10-12 that divination is seen as a detestable act to God. And similarly, we see in 2 Chronicles 33:1-6 that the worship of heavenly bodies is associated with evil.

Unlike astrology, which tries to use the stars for control or prediction of a person’s future or destiny, astronomy, as a science, simply studies the stars and appreciates them as the creation that God made.

Reasons Why People Use Astrology: 

  • Curiosity: Curiosity is a natural human trait; however, turning to the stars instead of to God for these answers places our trust in creation, not the Creator.
  • Fun: Astrology is often seen as an innocent act, but if the “prediction” is not from God, it becomes a deceptive tool that can draw people into occult practices.
  • Fascination with the occult: It offers a form of spirituality that doesn’t challenge us with concepts like sin, repentance, or God’s judgment. However, any belief that lacks this is hollow and false.
  • Avoidance of personal responsibility: As Dr. Bob Larson points out, astrology promotes a belief that fate is controlled by the stars rather than by God’s will and our choices. Christianity, in contrast, teaches that our lives are influenced by God’s sovereignty and our actions. Astrology can become a way to avoid accountability, leading many people to not take responsibility for their choices.
  • Power and control: Many turn to astrology to feel a sense of control over their lives. However, while having self-control is positive, true guidance and empowerment come from God, not the stars. Any power that claims to offer control while originating outside of God, will only lead us away from God’s purpose.

3 Reasons Why Horoscopes are Wrong

1. They divert trust from God.

Relying on astrology places trust in creation rather than in the Creator. This act goes against the first commandment which tells us to worship and trust in Him alone. By doing this we are diverting our trust from God.

2. They allow for loss of personal responsibility.

Horoscopes make people believe that their destiny is set out for them in the stars and therefore, they don’t have much say. However, this is not what the Bible teaches. The Bible states that there is a sovereign God, but we also have a role to play in the way our life turns out.

3. Fascination with the occult

Taking part in this can open individuals up to demonic influence because it is an act that is in contradiction to the Bible and can be a distraction from believing and placing your trust in God.

Final Thoughts

If you have dabbled with astrology and horoscopes, I would encourage you to close those doors to the enemy through repentance. Choose to refocus on the Lord through prayer, Scripture, and allow the Holy Spirit to guide you in regards to questions about your future and your destiny.

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*** By Vladimir Savchuk / Photo by Mikhail Nilov at Pexels

11 Doors That Lead to Demons

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When I was young and curious, I decided it would be a good idea to go into the neighbor’s dog house. I didn’t see a dog around so I went inside. It turns out the dog was around the corner and when he sees me, he launches towards my leg and I end up getting bit. I learned a very powerful lesson that day–if you don’t want to get bitten, don’t go near the dog’s territory. 

The same thing can be said fin regards to demons. People like to believe that they can dabble in the occult or watch porn, or even smoke weed without any spiritual repercussions, but the truth is, if you step on the devil’s territory, he has every right to harass you, hurt you, and torment you. These are the most common doors that can lead to demons infiltrating your life. 

Common Open Doors

1. Generational Curses

Another way of saying it is demons that were inherited through the bloodline. For instance, if someone in the family did witchcraft and never repented and broke that off of their family, then those demons have been passed on generationally. 

The same is true when it comes to abuse or different forms of addictions.

2. An Unwanted Pregnancy 

If the child in the womb is hated, not desired, or rejected since birth by the parents or the family, then that gets transmitted to the child. This opens the door for a spirit of rejection to affect the child throughout their life. It also manifests through rebellion as the child grows up.

3. Growing Up in a Broken Home

When a child grows up in a broken home, it does not only create emotional and cognitive issues, but also spiritual ones. As the child is faced with uncertainty and pressures that they are not equipped to handle at such a young age, demons can use this instability to harass and torment the child/person. This environment is a facilitator for the spirit of anger and hatred to come in at a very young age. 

4. Involvement in the Occult

When you dabble into the occult, you are choosing to blatantly engage with the demonic. The occult ranges from astrology, witchcraft, tarot cards, black/white magic, ouija boards, horoscopes, talking to the dead etc. 

Even though our culture seems to have accepted, and even embraced these practices, Scripture has not changed, and continues to condemn it and the practice of it.

5. Taking Part in a False Religion

There are some believers that desire to learn about other religions saying that they want to win those people to the Lord. Now, this is a good thing to a certain point. There is a certain line that must be kept in order to refrain from opening the doors to demons, because what can end up happening is that a believer will begin to study the other religion so much that they become so open minded and accept all truths, that they start to deny what the Bible claims. That is where it gets dangerous and could lead to deception. 

6. Bringing Demonic Objects Into Your Life

The spiritual world is real, and spiritual power can flow through people, places, animals and objects. In fact, the Bible shows us that God used Moses’s rod, the waters of Jordan to heal, the saliva of Jesus to open the eyes of the blind and even the handkerchief of Paul. God can use any avenue to bring about healing. In the same way, the enemy can use objects to bring about his plans of destruction to your life. 

This includes occult books, things that have been ritually “cleansed”, charms, dreamcatchers, etc. By bringing these items into your home, you are opening your life and your home to the demonic.

7. Abuse

This is probably the most common open door in the West. Abuse causes deep inner wounds that give way for demons to cause further torment for that individual.

As unfair as this is, we must understand that the spiritual world works in accordance to spiritual laws. WHen an abuse happens, it automatically opens a door for a demon. 

8. Illicit Sexual Encounters

Sex is not just a physical act, it has spiritual repercussions. Because it is spiritual in nature, it affects the soul, the mind, and the emotions. 

An individual become one flesh, according to Scripture, with the partner they come together with (1 Cor. 6:16). Demons can be transferred from one person to another by partaking in sexual acts outside of marriage.

9. Abortion

When we commit an injustice towards others it brings a curse upon our life. The Bible is very clear in saying that murder is sin, and therefore brings about a curse on our lives (Matthew 5:21-22). 

10. Ungodly Entertainment

When we begin to fill up our time and out life with ungodly sources of entertainment, they could lead the way to an open door. Movies, T.V. shows, and music are all portals that satan can use to influence the minds of people. If you are not careful about what you watch and listen to, its influence will become stronger in your life. 

11. A Moment of Weakness

The devil looks for moments of weakness to try and enter into our lives. We’re not perfect people, and sometimes we can snap, act in a way that is not right, or watch something we shouldn’t have. When we don’t repent to God and to the person we hurt, and then change our behavior, then that’s where it could become an open door. This happens when the person chooses the sin instead of turning from it.

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*** By Vladimir Savchuk / Photo by Merve at Pexels

Nothing New Under the Sun: Jezebel and the New Age Movements

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“See to it that no one takes you captive by philosophy and empty deceit, according to human tradition, according to the elemental spirits of the world, and not according to Christ.” ~ Colossians 2:8

Wicked women are presented as they truly are in the Bible—without any attempt to sanitize their lives or actions. One such infamous figure is Jezebel, the wife of King Ahab of Israel. She was not a believer in the one true God, and her reign over northern Israel marked the introduction and spread of a false religion—worship of Baal. This religion quickly took hold because Jezebel became a role model for many women of her time. Her religion was rooted in the worship of Baal, or Satan, who is behind all false religions.

To please the queen was politically savvy, so she filled Israel with 850 priests practicing her religion, leading the people further astray. Jezebel’s impact was profound and deeply harmful, as she turned the nation away from the true God.

The Parallels Between Baal Worship and the New Age Movement

“The god of this age has blinded the minds of unbelievers, so that they cannot see the light of the gospel that displays the glory of Christ, who is the image of God.” ~ 2 Corinthians 4:4

Do you want to know what Jezebel’s religion was like? We are witnessing the rise of a similar, swift, and powerful religion sweeping the planet today—the New Age / Golden Age Movement. This belief system, like the false worship of Baal, denies the existence of a personal God who loves His people. Instead, it promotes an impersonal, universal energy force. In the New Age Movement, God can be referred to in many ways— she or he, mother or father, god or goddess, the Earth, the sun, the stars, or even nature itself can be worshipped as God. New Age teachers claim to receive guidance from so-called “spirit guides,” “ascended masters,” “masters of wisdom” “angels,” and “higher beings,” all of whom make up the hierarchy of this movement. They state that some of their guides are angels.

However, Jezebel’s priests, when confronted by the prophet Elijah, were exposed for their reliance on demonic forces – fallen angels, whilst practicing their false religion. Elijah challenged all 850 of them to prove the power of their gods, demonstrating that their supposed deities were powerless before the one true God. When they failed, the false nature of their religion was revealed, along with their demon guides posing as angels.

The New Age Movement bears striking similarities to Jezebel’s worship of Baal. For example, the New Age movement claims that Jesus Christ was merely a reincarnated messenger—not the Son of God. They assert that Christ was sent by the demon hierarchy of angels to provide “spiritually advanced revelations” to their group. In fact, they teach that Jesus is just one of many “Christs,” alongside figures like Buddha, Mohammed, and Confucius. This system accepts anyone who rejects Jesus Christ as the Son of God—whether they are Shintoists, Satanists, Buddhists, secular humanists, witches, or anyone else who doesn’t acknowledge the truth or accept the Christ, and that He is a personal God. They teach that man is not sinful, nor evil, and that Jesus’s sacrifice on the Cross has no meaning, according to them it was meaningless.

Moreover, the New Age Movement denies the existence of sin, judgment, and the need for salvation. Instead, it teaches that humanity has evolved over thousands of years and that there is no need for a savior. This philosophy is the basis of all false religions; rooted in ancient lies, echoing the deceptions of Satan, who hides the reality of judgment, hell, and sin, and all of his followers do the same, because they have been blinded to the truth. It’s no surprise that Jezebel’s actions—her cheating, lying, and murder—were reflections of her allegiance to Satan, the father of lies. Her conscience was so seared with unbelief in the one true God that she had no fear of judgment, she never expected to meet a righteous and holy God one day, who will judge her for things done in the flesh, her thoughts, her deeds and her motives.

Modern Echoes: The Age of Aquarius

Today, the New Age Movement is spreading rapidly, with some even calling it the “Age of Aquarius.” Many people are drawn to its teachings, including secular humanists, witches, Satanists, and celebrities. One prominent TV and movie star has become a spokesperson for the movement, claiming to receive instructions from an ancient being, that tells her things and guides her. This celebrity, like Jezebel, serves as a role model for many, leading others into deception.

The New Age Movement teaches that being “born again” is simply a personal transformation or healing of the self. It says that you must “let go” and allow your “inner guide” or “higher self” to direct your life, without any belief or need for the Holy Spirit and Him indwelling you. They speak of something called “kundalini,” a Hindu term meaning “serpent power,” which has clear connections to Satan. This mimics spiritual experiences, but it is a counterfeit of true Christian transformational quality of the Holy Spirit.

Satan, as always, has counterfeited the things of Jesus Christ and Christianity. The New Age Movement, much like the false prophets in Jezebel’s time, speaks of a “Christ-like” figure who will come to establish a utopian Kingdom of peace on Earth, that he will reign over the new age, bringing about a one world religion and consolidating all nations into one government. This is eerily similar to the Antichrist, who will deceive many and promise a one-world government and a counterfeit peace—something the Bible warns will happen before the true return of Jesus Christ.

Distinguishing Truth from Deception

In a nutshell, here is what the New Age Movement teaches:

• God is impersonal; He is not loving, He can be a he or she, but not the sovereign, holy, and righteous God of the Bible.

• Jesus is not the Son of God, not the Christ and someone greater than Jesus will come, not realising there will be an anti-Christ connected to Satan, who will try to imitate the Christ, as we have been forewarned in scriptures.

• There is no need for being born again, as they reject the Holy Spirit and encourage people to follow their demon guides.

• And about the 2nd coming of Jesus Christ that the anti-Christ will rule in Earth and Heaven is the Kingdom of God during the Age of Aquarius and that it is not a real place, but merely an Earthly utopia.

• There is no sin, judgment, evil or hell.

As believers in Christ, we know these claims are false. We have the truth from the Bible, which tells us that God is our loving Father, He is not a she or a goddess, but the supreme being. Jesus is His only begotten Son, the express image of the invisible God, and salvation comes through Him alone. The Holy Spirit, sent by the Father and the Son, dwells within us, guiding and empowering us to live according to God’s will. Heaven is a real, physical place where God the Father and God the Son reign in glory, and hell is a real and horrible place for those who reject the truth of the gospel. Through the Holy Spirit, we are assured of our salvation and strengthened in our faith as we await eternal life with God. He tells us that angels are messengers of God and named in scripture and He tells us to be born again, by the spirit of God by receiving Jesus as our personal Saviour.

A Call to Stand Firm in the Truth

Throughout history, God has warned His people about false religions. From Jezebel’s priests to the builders of the Tower of Babel, we have seen it through the ages. These instances of idolatry and rebellion against God serve as lessons for us today. Even in Noah’s time, when wickedness was rampant, God had to destroy the world with a flood. This, too, is a forewarning for us today. Jesus Himself tells us in Matthew 24 that when we see the same kinds of lawlessness and rebellion happening again, it is a sign that His return is near.

In Matthew 24:29-30, Jesus speaks of the signs preceding His second coming: “Immediately after the distress of those days, the sun will be darkened, and the moon will not give its light; the stars will fall from the sky, and the heavenly bodies will be shaken. Then will appear the sign of the Son of Man in heaven.”

We know that in the end times, false prophets will rise up to deceive even the elect (Matthew 24:24). Deception has led to destruction throughout the ages, and it will culminate in the final days before Jesus’ return. This New Age Movement, like its predecessors, may fade into the background only to be replaced by another. Yet, there is the real possibility that this movement could lead to the rise of the Antichrist, who will deceive many with promises of peace and a one-world government. Scripture warns us that the Antichrist will set up his rule on Earth, even establishing himself in Jerusalem and claiming to be the Christ (2 Thessalonians 2:3-4). However, we who know the Bible recognize this for the lie that it is.

Jesus warned: “If anyone tells you, ‘There he is, out in the wilderness,’ do not go out; or, ‘Here he is, in the inner rooms,’ do not believe it” (Matthew 24:26). His true return will not be secret or localized. We are told in 1 Thessalonians 4:16-17 that He will descend from heaven with a loud command, with the voice of the archangel, and with the trumpet call of God. The dead in Christ will rise first, and those who are still alive will be caught up to meet Him in the air. This event, known as the rapture, will take place in an instant, in the twinkling of an eye (1 Corinthians 15:52).

Jesus will gather His elect and take them to be with Him for seven years, during which time the Great Tribulation will unfold on Earth. After this period, He will return with His saints to establish His Kingdom on Earth and reign for a thousand years (Revelation 20:4-6). Unlike the false peace promised by the New Age Movement, this will be the true and lasting reign of the Prince of Peace.

We are warned in Scripture that the Antichrist will bring about a false peace and deceive many. Jesus Himself cautioned us against following these lies. We are also reminded of the lessons of history—Jezebel and her false prophets led Israel into idolatry, and the builders of the Tower of Babel sought to defy God’s sovereignty. These stories serve as warnings for us today. Wide is the gate that leads to destruction, but narrow is the gate that leads to life (Matthew 7:13-14).

As believers, we look forward to the Lord’s return. By God’s grace, we will not be caught up in the ecumenical movement or New Age ideologies that attempt to unify all religions and philosophies into one deceptive system. This “Age of Aquarius” promises enlightenment and unity but leads people to follow the Antichrist instead of Christ. The Bible is clear: there can be no lasting peace on Earth until Jesus Himself returns to set up His Kingdom.

We must stand firm in the truth, remembering Jesus’ words and promises. Let us choose the narrow path that leads to life. Choose wisely—choose Christ!

Conclusion: Lessons from Jezebel and the Bible

God’s sovereignty remains unshaken; He knows the beginning from the end. The warnings drawn from Jezebel’s life and scripture provide us with timeless clarity. As Ecclesiastes 1:9 reminds us, “There is nothing new under the sun.” Satan’s methods of deception have not changed, and false religions like the New Age / Golden Age Movement are modern manifestations of these ancient lies. These deceptions, cloaked in promises of enlightenment, peace, and unity, echo the spiritual rebellion seen in Jezebel’s time, the Tower of Babel, and countless other moments in history.

Even those movements that claim to acknowledge Christ often compromise truth, embracing all religions in the name of an ecumenical ‘unity and peace.’ This push toward a one-world religion is yet another ploy by Satan, setting the stage for the rise of the Antichrist, who will seek to establish his rule over a one-world government. Scripture warns us of this, and as believers, we are called to be vigilant.

Our anchor is the Word of God. We must remain grounded, discerning, and uncompromising in our faith. The false promises of movements like the New Age and the allure of unity at the expense of truth must be rejected. Instead, we fix our eyes on Christ, awaiting His glorious return when He will establish His eternal Kingdom—a Kingdom of true peace and righteousness.

Let us hold fast to God’s promises, stand firm in His truth, and keep our hearts prepared for the day when the Prince of Peace will reign forever.

The free gift of salvation

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“Nothing New Under the Sun” is adapted from Eleanor Page’s talk on ‘Jezebel’ in the ‘Women in the Bible’ series, broadcasted on BBN Radio / Photo by RDNE Stock at Pexels.

Eyes Wide Open: The Power of Media to Shape Hearts and Shift Morality

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There was a time when I didn’t think twice about the movies and shows I watched. I laughed at what everyone else laughed at, cried when the story tugged at my emotions, and admired characters without questioning what they stood for. But everything changed after I came to faith in Christ.

Not long ago, I rewatched a romantic comedy I had once loved. It was a film I held dear—charming, funny, nostalgic. I remembered how much I had enjoyed it years ago, but this time, something was different. This time, I watched it with the eyes of someone who had encountered the truth, someone who now walks with a different awareness. And what I saw left me shaken.

Nearly every other sentence used the Lord’s name as a curse word. What once seemed harmless banter now rang out like blasphemy—frequent, casual, and cruel. The main character—beautiful, talented, and successful—was once a woman I admired, but she was now entangled in a lifestyle of lies, manipulation, and adultery. She disrespected her husband, deceived those around her, and used charm to justify selfish choices. Her mother was portrayed as discontented with her own life and subtly pushed her married daughter toward dissatisfaction with a simpler lifestyle, ridiculing the values of motherhood, humility, and faithfulness. She encouraged her to leave their ‘smallville’ town in search of the bright lights and the big city—not as a path of growth, but as an escape from commitment, accountability and responsibility. The underlying strategic message was clear: the “good life” was somewhere else, in ambition, indulgence, and reinvention, not in commitment, family values, or truth. The film subtly redefined the concept of success and fulfillment, positioning personal freedom, indulgence in desires, and career achievement as the ultimate goals, while traditional values like loyalty, sacrifice, and the stability of family were dismissed as limiting or oppressive.

What struck me was not just the flawed character arcs, but the intentional rewriting of cultural values—an attempt to normalize what was once taboo. The entertainment industry, as a whole, has been shaped and influenced by the enemy, whose agenda is to distort the truth and lead people astray, especially young, impressionable minds. It’s no coincidence that so much darkness and evil is perpetuated within this realm; the battle for our hearts, minds, and souls is at play, and the media is one of the most powerful tools in the enemy’s arsenal. What once might have been seen as morally questionable is now portrayed as aspirational.

As I reflected on the film, I realized that this wasn’t simply an attempt at entertainment—it was a carefully crafted message, one that sought to shift cultural norms and redefine what was considered a fulfilling and “good life.” The scriptwriters, perhaps unknowingly or knowingly, were helping to push the enemy’s agenda, one that celebrates selfishness, rebellion, immorality and indulgence, while undermining the virtues of faith, family, and integrity. In fact, years later, these ideas have not only become mainstream but are now the norm. What was once taboo is now accepted as truth, revealing how deeply media and entertainment shape societal values, often with consequences far more destructive than we realize.

What made it even more striking was the setting of the story—deep in the American South, in a region often referred to as the Bible Belt. A place long associated with faith, family, tradition, and moral grounding. And yet, it was there, in the symbolic heart of American values, that the storyline unraveled everything sacred. This wasn’t just storytelling—it was commentary. A deliberate effort to show that even the strongholds of faith and stability could be swayed, mocked, and redefined under the glow of entertainment.

That experience opened my eyes wider than ever before. It wasn’t just that one film. I started noticing how pervasive the pattern was across all media. Themes of lust, greed, selfishness, rebellion, and deceit aren’t just present—they’re celebrated. Traditional values are often portrayed as outdated or oppressive, while sin is rebranded as empowerment and “freedom.” The sacred is desecrated, and the profane is glorified. Whether in subtle suggestions or overt messaging, media is teaching people—especially the young—what to think, how to live, and what to desire.

It’s no secret that the average young person spends over eight hours a day consuming media. Compare that to the three to six minutes of meaningful conversation many families have per day, and it becomes obvious who is doing the most shaping. Media has become the new pulpit, the storyteller, the educator, and in many ways, the god of modern culture. And make no mistake—it is not neutral.

This realization hit me deeply—not just as a viewer, but as someone who once contributed to this. Out of ignorance, I took part in projects I now regret. Back then, I didn’t fully understand how even small storytelling choices—across any medium—could shape hearts and minds. But now I do.

Media has the power to shape hearts, dreams, and minds. That’s why it’s so important that those of us who believe in truth, in beauty, in holiness—those of us who follow Christ—step up and use our creative gifts with intention. It’s not enough to avoid the bad; we must create the good. We must tell stories that elevate rather than tear down, that build up rather than mock, that honor God rather than offend Him.

Media will continue to shape the minds of future generations. The question is: who will be behind the stories they consume? Will it be those who care nothing for what is right, or will it be those who understand the power of every frame, every line, and every song to either bless or poison the soul? This isn’t just a cultural issue—it’s a spiritual one. The battle for our hearts, minds, and souls is real, and that’s why we must be mindful not only of what we consume but also of what we create and support. Every post, script, song, and image we contribute has an impact. We are either adding to the noise or offering clarity, either echoing darkness or shining light.

So how do we counteract the flood of harmful media messages? Through faith, discernment, and courage. We must:

Be selective with media: Choose what you consume carefully, ensuring it aligns with your values and faith. Is it promoting virtues that honor God or embracing ideas that undermine truth?

Set boundaries: Create limits around your media consumption, such as avoiding certain genres or shows, restricting screen time, or setting dedicated times for media use to avoid mindless scrolling.

Create media with purpose: If you’re a creator, remember that what you produce has an impact on others. Use your talents to tell stories that uplift, encourage, and promote integrity, love, and truth.

Engage in dialogue: Discuss the media you consume with others—family, friends, or fellow believers. This helps reinforce your values and discern the truth from deception.

Immerse yourself in God’s Word: Regular time in Scripture equips you to recognize what conflicts with God’s truth. Prayer and the Word help you filter out messages that do not align with God’s will.

Pray for discernment: Ask God for wisdom in choosing what to consume and understanding the messages behind what you watch or hear.

As we guard our hearts and minds, we actively shape the culture around us, reflecting the truth that strengthens and nourishes. The battle for our hearts is constant, and it starts with being aware of what we allow in. We must choose carefully—not just what we watch, but also how we engage with the world, knowing that every choice has an impact.

Let us be the generation that doesn’t just consume culture—but transforms it.

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** Photo by Ron Lach at Pexels

The Modern-Day Concubine: From Placeholders to Pick-Me Chicks — The Hard Truth About Modern Love

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The History of Concubines and Modern Parallels

Throughout history, women have sought love, commitment, and security in their relationships. In ancient times, society drew clear lines between women who were chosen as wives and those who were simply kept around—often referred to as concubines. These women were close enough to benefit a man’s life but never secure enough to be protected by covenant. They were valued for access, availability, and usefulness, but they were never truly prioritized.

In modern terms, these women are often called pick-me chicks, pickmeishas, or Barbara the Builder—women who help construct a man’s life, confidence, and success while neglecting their own security. They remain loyal, supportive, emotionally available, and sexually accessible, believing their sacrifice will eventually earn commitment. Too often, they later discover he never planned to choose them. This is not bad luck or something that “just happened.” It is the result of choices—choosing comfort, attachment, or short-term pleasure over God’s design and boundaries.

God’s way has always been clear. Intimacy, cohabitation, and shared life were meant to happen within the covenant of marriage. These boundaries exist because God loves us and knows what protects us, not because He wants to withhold anything good. The world encourages women to give wife-level access without commitment and calls it love or growth. God calls His people to live differently. Jesus says in John 14.15, “If you love Me, you will obey Me.” Many women who claim Christianity knowingly cross these boundaries, exercising free will while choosing relationships over obedience to God—and this is how the modern-day concubine is formed.

Even in biblical times, concubines had certain protections. A man was expected to care for them, and they had legal recognition—though still held a lower status than a wife. But their futures were always uncertain, entirely dependent on the man’s goodwill. Hagar, who bore Abraham a son, was eventually cast out. Bilhah and Zilpah bore children for Jacob but were never truly honored like his wives. Solomon had hundreds of concubines—part of his household, but not part of his heart.

Convenience Over Commitment in Modern Relationships

These women were there for convenience, not commitment. That same dynamic plays out in modern relationships. A woman may devote years to a man—giving him loyalty, emotional support, even intimacy—hoping one day he’ll choose her as his wife. But all too often, he never does. Not because she isn’t worthy, but because he was never planning to.

Modern relationships often blur lines. A woman might find herself doing everything a wife does—supporting him through hard times, helping financially, being emotionally available, sharing her body—without ever receiving a true commitment in return. She believes her loyalty will eventually be rewarded. That if she just proves her love, he’ll see her worth and decide to marry her. But the painful truth is, most men don’t need years to decide. When a man is serious about a woman, he makes his intentions clear. When he’s not, he delays, distracts, and avoids.

Comfortable, Not Confused

It’s not that he’s confused—it’s that he’s comfortable. He’s benefiting from the relationship, so he sees no reason to change it. Many men will gladly take the emotional support, sexual access, companionship, and even financial help without offering anything long-term in return. That’s not love. That’s selfishness. It’s using someone’s time and heart while keeping her in a holding pattern.

Sometimes a man will give a woman an engagement ring not out of genuine intention, but simply to quiet her questions about the relationship. When a woman is confused and keeps asking about marriage or commitment, he uses the ring to “shut her up” and stop the pressure—without actually planning to follow through. Most of the time, the engagement goes no further. If a wedding does happen, it is often because circumstances forced him into it, or because he failed elsewhere—not because he genuinely intended to commit.

Meanwhile, he continues living comfortably, benefiting from her loyalty, emotional support, and willingness to tolerate bad behavior in order to keep him. The woman believes she is securing love and stability, but in reality, she has been strung along and used for convenience. This is exactly the pattern God’s boundaries are meant to protect women from: giving your devotion before it is truly earned leaves your heart vulnerable and your life unprotected.

A man who doesn’t see you as “the one” from the beginning is unlikely to suddenly change his mind after years of taking what he wants. He already knows—you’re just not the one he’s planning to marry.

Signs You’re a Placeholder

If you’re unsure where your relationship stands, pay careful attention to these patterns. Each is a strong signal that you may be giving wife-level commitment while he’s giving you only convenience.

1. Years together, marriage is always “someday.” Men who really intend to marry rarely need multiple years to decide; most make up their minds within the first twelve months or so. When the timeline keeps sliding—finances, career, “not ready”—he’s comfortable, not confused.

2. You’re kept on the edge of his life, not in the center. A man who sees a future with you naturally weaves you into it. If you still haven’t met family or close friends, or you’re left out of meaningful decisions, he’s keeping emotional and social distance for a reason.

3. You do everything a wife does—without the title or security. Cooking, cleaning, sharing bills, late-night emotional support, sexual intimacy—yet no clear plan for marriage. That’s not partnership; it’s a one-sided arrangement where he enjoys the benefits while you carry the risk.

4. Serious talk about marriage makes him vague or defensive. When a man wants a woman as his wife, he can talk about it openly. If he diverts, jokes, or offers fuzzy promises with no dates or steps attached, take the dodge at face value: he isn’t planning what you are.

5. After leaving you, he marries someone else quickly. This stings, but it’s common. Commitment was never the obstacle; finding the person he wanted to commit to was. His sudden readiness shows he always knew what he was looking for—he simply didn’t see it with you.

Your Value and God’s Way

If these signs sound familiar, your relationship may lack real intent. Love yourself enough to step back and make room for a man who will move toward you with clarity, not excuses.

You can’t earn someone’s desire to commit. You can’t force a man to value you by giving more, sacrificing more, or waiting longer. The more you give without receiving commitment, the more you teach him that you’ll tolerate uncertainty.

While not every man who delays is acting with malicious intent, many do know they have no plan to marry—and still keep the relationship going because it benefits them. That’s selfish.

You deserve more than to be someone’s “good enough for now.” You deserve intentional love. If a man truly sees you as his future, he won’t string you along. He won’t leave you guessing. His actions will speak. He will introduce you to the people who matter. He’ll talk about the future with you in it. He will lead with clarity, not confusion.

God’s Design and Protection

This is not only an emotional issue; it is a spiritual one. God’s design for love and marriage has never changed. Deep emotional and physical intimacy was meant to exist within the covering of commitment. These boundaries are not about shame or restriction—they are about protection. When women step outside of God’s design, they often experience heartbreak instead of fulfillment.

God gives free will, but free will does not remove consequences. Choosing a man over obedience, elevating relationships above righteousness, and ignoring God’s commands while claiming Christianity leads many women into the role of modern-day concubines—not by accident, but by choice. Obedience is the evidence of love for God, and God’s way will always be better than the world’s way.

You are not a placeholder. You are not a convenience. You are not meant to audition for marriage through sacrifice and compromise. You are a woman of value—meant to be pursued with intention, loved with integrity, and honored through commitment. Trust God’s timing. Honor His boundaries. The right man will not require disobedience to keep him—he will recognize the blessing you are and treat you accordingly from the very beginning.

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** Photo by Philip Justin Mamelic at Pexels