With the growth of social media platforms, online games and instant messaging apps, children are able to talk to anyone – friends or strangers – from around the world within minutes. This can benefit many by making them feel less isolated but for some, it can leave them vulnerable to grooming.
Foreword by Victor Marx at All Things Possible, “I recently got to share some insights into protecting children on Freedom Talk with Kelly John Walker for an eight-part series of powerful sessions for fathers. Below is an excerpt from the Fathering in a World Gone Mad seminar, where I share some of the biggest threats to your children and how to keep them safe: Parents, those of you who don’t know me… my nickname is I’m the Pedophile Hunter. And we do work overseas in different parts of the globe. But here in the U.S., we actually started a task force. So I’m telling you, from practical, real life experience — from helping get women and children from ISIS to messing up cartel action, to stuff in other parts of the country I can’t even mention. But I would say this: Don’t look for the white van to open up and grab your kid. The biggest problems you’re going to encounter is the phone and the computer. That’s the two biggest — phone and computer. The next will be someone you know. It’ll be a relative, a neighbor, a kid’s friend, boyfriend or girlfriend. It’s very easy to think of extremes. Those do happen. What you have to be aware of is your child being groomed by somebody online. And I’m talking even gaming. I just got info from the FBI saying there are groups targeting children to get them to provide nudes and videos of them. It’s happening widespread. Last year, there were 33 million transfers of child sexual abuse material in the U.S. Out of 33 million known tips of this stuff, only about 300 got prosecuted. The police are not the answer. 911 is not the answer for your children. It’s you. If your kid wants to be on a cell phone or a computer, let them sit at the table. There’s no shame in that. Not their back to you. If there’s something they’re trying to hide or are uncomfortable with, they shouldn’t be on it. When they say, “That’s my own privacy,” you just go, “Yeah, not these days, not in our home.” I’m not going to check anything unless I get a ping about a word or something that comes up or an image. But folks, please, it’s the phone, it’s a computer. It’s someone you know that will try to compromise your child by grooming them, getting them feel to comfortable. And then, of course, as always, it’s the outside predators. Find out more about this seminar and how to access it at bit.ly/fathering-series.”
Protect your child
Online grooming can be a difficult issue to tackle with children but there are practical tips and tools you can use to help them recognise when they are at risk and take action.
The meaning of grooming
Grooming usually refers to child sexual abuse. However, groomers also target children for purposes such as radicalisation, drug trafficking (county lines) and financial gain.
How perpetrators groom children
Groomers first befriend a child. Online, this could be someone they have never met. A groomer might pretend they’re the same age as your child; because there is a screen between them, your child can’t know who the other person is for sure.
Alternatively, a groomer may tell the truth about who they are, which some young people may see as a benefit. For example, a child without an older role model might feel a connection to an older person who treats them well.
Once a groomer gains a child’s trust, they can manipulate them to do what they want. Children and young people may have trouble saying no to someone who has built a relationship with them, making it easy for online grooming to happen.
LEARN MORE ABOUT ONLINE GROOMING
Signs of sexual abuse and online grooming
If someone targets your child online for sexual purposes, the victim may not recognise it as abuse. The groomer might have made them feel special or could be an older child. Unfortunately, a child abused in this way may not seek help right away, so it’s important to look out for the signs of sexual abuse to take action.
Signs could include:
It is important to look out for other changes that might be signs of other types of online grooming as well. These might include:
How do I protect my child from being groomed?
A short video from CEOP about online grooming and how children can become targets and what parents can do to prevent this. Grooming can be a tricky subject to talk about with your children, the tips below video will help.
From our research, we know that online ‘stranger danger’ is a concern, particularly for younger children. The key thing to remember is that equipping children with the right advice to make smarter choices online can minimize the risks of exposure to online grooming.
The best way to deal with grooming is to prevent it from happening by making sure your child is well-informed, uses privacy settings on social media sites and knows that they can talk to you if they feel unsafe or worried. Teach your children how to stay safe online:
Keep personal information private
Private details which could identify them in the real world – name, age, gender, phone number, home address, school name, and photographs – should only ever be shared with people they know.
Privacy settings
Spend time together looking at the privacy settings that can benefit their online safety. It’s always best to assume that default settings are public and should be changed accordingly. We’ve got some advice on using privacy settings on the most popular social apps.
Reviewing apps, site, apps and games they use
You will probably use social networks yourself, but you might want to know about new ones that your child is using or wants to use. Use them yourself and set up your own account so you can experience what your child might see. There are also many child-friendly social networks they could use while they get ready for the likes of Snapchat and Instagram.
It’s also important to explore the types of activities they do online. Live streaming, YouTube shorts, video games and social media sites all have different forms of communication. Have conversations about their digital use to stay in the know.
Know who their friends are
Talk to them about being cautious about what they share with people online. Remind them that even though people they’ve met online might feel like friends they may not be who they say they are.
Stay safe online and in real life
Never arrange to meet someone they only know online without a parent present.
Encourage children to talk to someone
If something makes your child worried or uncomfortable online their best course of action is always to talk to an adult they trust. You can also direct them to organisations such as Childline.
Blocking software
There is a range of new apps and software that block, filter and monitor online behavior. You’ll need to decide as a family whether this is the right approach for you, taking into consideration your child’s age and maturity, and their need for privacy.
Negotiating the gaming world
In some games like Minecraft or Roblox people deliberately try to intimidate other players. In multi-player games where gamers talk to one another – you might find abusive language, harassment and there have been instances of grooming. It’s vital therefore that your child knows how to report abuse and talks to you if something is causing them concern.
Discuss online grooming with your child
Be approachable
Let them know you are there to help them if they get into trouble online – and if they are concerned about something they can come to you.
Openly discuss online relationships and friendships
Find out what sites they go to, where they met their online friends, how they communicate, and what information they share. Make sure they know that having thousands of online ‘friends’ isn’t always safe.
Talk to teens about groomers online
Teenagers may be very protective of their online network and feel you are interfering with their private lives. However, one of the best ways to support child protection is to make them aware of online harms.
Explain online impersonation
Explain how easy it is to pretend to be someone else online, and why an adult may wish to approach them.
Teach younger children how to stay safe online
Talk about grooming as you would stranger danger – a stranger is anyone you don’t know, whether in real life or online. Tell them they shouldn’t talk privately or give personal information to anyone they don’t know. Discuss with them what ‘personal information’ is.
Grooming can happen between older children and younger children as well. Learn more about child-on-child abuse to keep yourself and your child informed. For more information about online grooming and protection check out their website Internet Matters
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** Foreword by Victor Marx at All Things Possible ministry who has shared his incredible story of overcoming childhood abuse, addiction, and trauma to become a humanitarian, author, and speaker. Learn how he found God, discipline, and success through military life and faith in God here with his amazing testimony that has helped bring healing to so many people / Article by Internet Matters website Internet Matters / Photo by pexels
More:
5 Ways Your Kids Are Under Spiritual Attack
6 Reasons Why Sexual Predators Target Churches
Human Trafficking / Child Abuse
Trusting God to Heal the Scars of Sexual Abuse
Deal Radically with Impure Thoughts
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