Category: Suffering

A Guide to Understanding and Addressing Bullying

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What is Bullying?

Bullying is a repeated, intentional behavior that exploits a power imbalance. It can occur in schools, workplaces, social groups, online spaces, or even in communities that are expected to be safe. Bullying is harmful and manipulative, and its effects can be long-lasting, impacting emotional, psychological, social, and physical well-being.

Forms of Bullying

Bullying can manifest in numerous ways:

Physical bullying: Harming someone’s body or belongings through hitting, pushing, theft, or vandalism.

Verbal bullying: Name-calling, teasing, threats, or degrading comments.

Emotional bullying: Intimidation, humiliation, belittling, shaming, or undermining a person’s confidence.

Social bullying: Collective isolation, exclusion from groups, spreading rumors, withholding important information, and manipulating friendships or social relationships.

Cyberbullying: Harassment, threats, or humiliation online via social media, messaging, or email, often anonymous and relentless, leaving victims with no safe space to retreat.

Bullying often combines several forms simultaneously. For example, social bullying can be accompanied by emotional manipulation, and cyberbullying may amplify verbal attacks.

Why People Bully

Individuals engage in bullying behavior for a variety of reasons. Some act out of a desire for control, dominance, or social power. Others may have insecurities, jealousy, or fear of being exposed, using bullying to deflect attention from their vulnerabilities. Some have learned aggressive or manipulative behaviors from past environments or family dynamics. Bullies often present a socially acceptable or competent exterior to hide harmful tendencies.

In group situations, bullying can escalate as individuals join in to protect themselves, gain favor, or conform to social pressures, especially when the bully is popular or influential. This group dynamic can make bullying more intimidating and difficult to address.

Why Victims Often Do Not Report

Victims frequently do not report bullying due to fear, shame, embarrassment, or uncertainty about how to respond. Many endure it silently, hoping it will die down, only to find the behavior escalates. Bullies frequently triangulate conflicts, drawing others in, spreading misinformation, or manipulating peers to isolate the victim. This can intensify the victim’s sense of powerlessness and encourage more people to participate, particularly if the bully is socially dominant.

Impacts on Victims

Bullying can affect individuals in multiple ways:

Emotional impacts: Anxiety, depression, fear, loss of confidence, and social withdrawal.

Physical impacts: Headaches, stomach aches, sleep disturbances, or other stress-related symptoms.

Social impacts: Isolation, loss of friendships, or reluctance to engage in school, work, or community activities.

Academic or professional impacts: Decreased performance, absenteeism, or disengagement.

Warning Signs of Bullying

Early recognition of warning signs is essential for timely intervention. Victims may exhibit:

Avoidance of certain people, places, or social situations. Sudden changes in mood, behavior, or personality. Unexplained physical injuries or complaints such as headaches or stomach aches. Withdrawal from friends, colleagues, or usual activities. Reluctance or anxiety about engaging with digital devices or online spaces. Decreased performance at school or work, missed deadlines, or frequent absenteeism.

Recognizing these warning signs can allow friends, family, educators, or colleagues to intervene and provide support before bullying escalates further.

Addressing Bullying

For Children

Parents and guardians play a critical role by encouraging open communication, creating safe spaces to discuss experiences, and teaching empathy and coping strategies. Practical steps include supporting children in forming healthy friendships, knowing when to remove themselves from harmful situations, and seeking help from trusted adults or school authorities. Schools play a key role by establishing anti-bullying policies, fostering inclusion and empathy, and responding promptly to cyberbullying with digital safety education.

For Adults

Bullying in adulthood can be subtle and complex, including exclusion from key information, undermining work or professional contributions, intimidation, or social manipulation. Adults can respond by documenting incidents, setting firm boundaries, seeking guidance from trusted colleagues or human resources, and escalating concerns through formal channels when necessary. Maintaining self-care through counseling, stress management, and supportive relationships is vital for coping with the impact of bullying.

Cyberbullying

Special precautions are needed for online harassment. Protective strategies include monitoring online interactions, using privacy settings, reporting harassment, and seeking support from trusted individuals or professionals. Communities, organizations, and institutions must foster cultures of accountability, respect, and inclusion to minimize opportunities for bullying to thrive.

Collective and Group Dynamics

Bullying often escalates in group settings. A popular or influential individual may orchestrate or encourage others to participate, using peer pressure, triangulation, or manipulation. Victims may be socially ostracized or misrepresented, reinforcing the bully’s control and isolation. Recognizing these patterns is essential in schools, workplaces, and social settings to prevent escalation and protect vulnerable individuals.

What Can Be Done About Bullying

Addressing and preventing bullying requires coordinated action from both individuals and organizations. Effective strategies include:

Recognize and acknowledge bullying: Understand its various forms and warning signs.

Document incidents: Keep detailed records for reporting or escalation.

Set boundaries: Clearly communicate limits and refuse to tolerate abuse.

Seek support: Engage trusted friends, family, colleagues, mentors, or professional advisors.

Report: Escalate concerns to schools, HR departments, or legal authorities when necessary.

Promote safe environments: Encourage policies, training, and programs that prevent bullying and support victims. Practice self-care: Prioritize mental and physical well-being, counseling, stress management, and supportive relationships.

Bullying thrives in secrecy and silence. By recognizing harmful behavior, standing firm in boundaries, supporting victims, reporting incidents, and creating accountable environments, individuals and organizations can reduce the prevalence and impact of bullying. Awareness, intervention, and consistent action are essential for creating communities where all individuals feel respected, safe, and valued.

Practical Strategies for Immediate Response

When facing bullying in real time, victims can use several practical strategies to protect themselves and respond safely:

Stay calm: Take deep breaths and avoid responding impulsively, which can escalate the situation.

Document immediately: Write down what happened, including times, dates, people involved, and witnesses. This creates a factual record for future reporting.

Set clear boundaries: If safe to do so, assertively communicate that the behavior is unacceptable. Simple statements like “I do not accept being treated this way” can establish limits.

Remove yourself if possible: Step away from the situation to reduce immediate risk and regain emotional control.

Seek support immediately: Contact a trusted friend, colleague, family member, or supervisor.

Having someone aware of the situation provides validation and protection.

Report through formal channels: Inform HR, school authorities, managers, or other relevant authorities.

Include documented evidence. Do not isolate yourself: Engage with supportive networks or professional help, such as counseling or advocacy groups, to process emotions and plan next steps.

Practice self-care: Prioritize physical and mental well-being through rest, healthy routines, and stress management techniques.

These strategies help victims respond safely, protect themselves, and prevent bullying from escalating further. Combined with organizational accountability and proactive measures, they form a comprehensive approach to reducing harm and fostering safer environments.

What to Do if You or Someone You Know is Being Bullied

The Bible reminds us that God is “a refuge for the oppressed” (Psalm 9:9). Whether you’re experiencing bullying or supporting someone who is, take these steps:

1. Pray for strength and wisdom: Trust in God’s power to protect and guide you (Psalm 46:1).

2. Seek support from trusted individuals: Speak with a parent, teacher, supervisor, or pastor.

3. Avoid harmful situations: Stay in safe, supportive environments and seek godly counsel.

4. Report the behavior: Escalate concerns to appropriate authorities, trusting that God is a God of justice (Isaiah 30:18).

Self-Care and Mental Health: Restoring Hope Through Christ

Bullying can leave deep emotional scars, but God offers healing and hope.

• Find peace in God’s presence: Turn to Scriptures like Philippians 4:6-7 to experience God’s peace in times of distress.

• Seek help from Christian counselors: Don’t hesitate to involve professionals who share a biblical perspective on healing and wholeness.

• Celebrate your worth in Christ: Remember, you are fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14). Surround yourself with uplifting people who affirm your value in God’s eyes.

Seeking Help and Support

If you or someone you know is experiencing bullying, remember that you are not alone. Reach out for help and trust in God’s promise: “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit” (Psalm 34:18).

Below are resources to guide you toward safety and healing:

In the USA

• National Bullying Prevention Center (PACER): Offers resources for children, parents, and educators to address bullying. Visit pacer.org/bullying or call 1-952-838-9000.

• StopBullying.gov: A government resource that provides information on how to recognize, prevent, and address bullying. Visit stopbullying.gov.

• National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: If bullying has caused emotional distress, contact 988 (or 1-800-273-TALK) for immediate assistance.

• Christian Counseling Resources: Seek guidance from faith-based counseling services such as Focus on the Family (focusonthefamily.com) or the American Association of Christian Counselors (aacc.net).

In the UK

• National Bullying Helpline: Provides practical advice for individuals dealing with bullying. Call 0300 323 0169 or email help@nationalbullyinghelpline.co.uk.

• Anti-Bullying Alliance: Offers resources and campaigns to help prevent bullying in schools and communities. Visit anti-bullyingalliance.org.uk.

• Childline: A resource for children and young people facing bullying. Call 0800 1111 or visit childline.org.uk.

• Bullying UK (Family Lives): Support for families and individuals dealing with bullying. Call their helpline at 0808 800 2222 or visit bullying.co.uk.

Encourage your church community to support anti-bullying efforts by sharing these resources and fostering environments where individuals feel safe and valued. Remember, “God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble” (Psalm 46:1).

*** Photo by Alexander Krivitskiy at Pexels

A Modern-Day Stephen: Why Charlie Kirk’s Death Must Wake Us Up

Published on by Editor

In the wake of the assassination of Charlie Kirk, I cannot stay silent. He stood for righteousness, confronted lies, and reminded me of Stephen in the book of Acts — bold, unflinching, refuting nonsense with truth. And just like then, the world couldn’t stand to hear it. So, they killed him.

“Have I then become your enemy by telling you the truth?” — Galatians 4:16

The Pattern of Hatred

Stephen spoke with wisdom and spirit that his enemies could not refute. They plugged their ears, gnashed their teeth, and raged against the truth until they stoned him. Charlie faced the same spirit — a generation that hates the light, calls good evil and evil good, and literally shoots down anyone who dares to dissent, celebrating and rejoicing at his death.

“Woe to those who call evil good and good evil, who put darkness for light and light for darkness.” — Isaiah 5:20

We are watching the same story unfold. Then it was Stephen. Now it is Charlie. The names change, but the hatred for truth remains the same.

The Death of “Tolerance”

We are told to value “inclusion.” Yet the same voices that preach tolerance exclude anyone who refuses to bow. Disagreement is no longer allowed; only silence or surrender. “Let’s agree to disagree” has been replaced by “submit or be destroyed.”

As one supporter put it: “Charlie Kirk did not spread hate speech. He spread speech the left hated.”

And as George R.R. Martin warned: “When you tear out a man’s tongue, you are not proving him a liar, you’re only telling the world that you fear what he might say.”

What once was free debate is now suppression. What once was respect for dissent is now cancellation and violence. We have abandoned even Voltaire’s simple creed:

“I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it.”

Charlie refused to bow. He refused to surrender. He stood. And they could not endure it.

The Real Danger: Our Silence

His death woke me up out of my slumber, I pray it has awoken you too. And I will not go back. Because the greatest danger isn’t their hatred — it’s our silence. For too long we have remained silent when we could have spoken truth in love. Christian witness is not loud anger but faithful proclamation, even when it draws opposition.

Martyrdom is a megaphone. Stephen’s death shook Jerusalem. Charlie’s death must shake us. This is not the time to retreat.

“Do not be afraid of those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul.” — Matthew 10:28

The Rallying Cry

We will not shrink from speaking the truth in love. We will not be silenced, for our mission is to proclaim God’s Word, even when it is unpopular. We were born to stand in faith, to proclaim truth patiently and lovingly, trusting God with the results.

“You stiff-necked people, uncircumcised in heart and ears! You always resist the Holy Spirit.” — Stephen, Acts 7:51

A Word of Comfort

To those who knew Charlie, who mourn his loss, and to those who are curious why he stood so boldly: hear this truth. Death is not the end for those who believe in Christ. The moment Charlie’s body fell, his spirit was received into the arms of Jesus.

“To be absent from the body is to be present with the Lord — for those who trust in Him.” — 2 Corinthians 5:8

Stephen, as he was stoned, looked up and saw Jesus standing at the right hand of God, ready to receive him. And I believe the same Lord stood to welcome Charlie home. Like Stephen, who prayed for those who stoned him (‘Lord, do not hold this sin against them’ — Acts 7:60), we are called to hold truth and grace together — to speak boldly but forgive freely. May we also be reminded to number our days, trusting the Lord to decide the span of our lives, and to live faithfully in the time He gives us.

For those who grieve, may you be strengthened and given grace. May Jesus draw near to your broken hearts, comforting you in your loss.

Though he will be deeply missed, let us hold fast to the hope we have in Christ — the hope of resurrection, the hope of eternal life, and the hope that one day every tear will be wiped away. His race is finished, his crown of life secured, his rest eternal.

But his story is not over. Because every martyr points us to the cross — where Jesus Himself conquered death. And through that victory, all who repent and believe in Him will share in the same hope: everlasting life.

Born for Such a Time as This

Charlie Kirk — a modern-day Stephen — has joined the cloud of witnesses who stood unashamed for truth. His blood is not wasted. His voice is not silenced.

“The blood of the martyrs is the seed of the Church.” — Tertullian

Like Stephen’s martyrdom sparked Saul’s conversion and propelled the gospel outward, so too will Charlie’s stand spark awakening.

“Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight… and run with endurance the race that is set before us.” — Hebrews 12:1

If they thought ending Charlie’s life would silence the truth, they are mistaken. His witness lives on in those who speak faithfully and lovingly for Christ. Like Stephen’s death, his example inspires boldness and truth to spread like fire. His voice continues through us as we proclaim God’s Word with courage and love.

“For if you remain silent at this time, relief and deliverance… will arise from another place. But who knows whether you have come to the kingdom for such a time as this?” — Esther 4:14

We were born for such a time as this. Not to shrink back. Not to compromise truth. Not to hide our faith. We were born to stand in faith, to proclaim God’s Word with courage and love, and to trust Him with the results.

The Gospel Charlie Believed and Preached

Charlie would not want this moment to end without the message that defined his life: Jesus Christ. His boldness did not come from politics, or from himself — it came from the Word of God and the person of Jesus Christ.

Here is that message:

We are all sinners, separated from God by our rebellion and pride. “For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.” — Romans 3:23

Sin earns death — not only physical death, but eternal separation from God. “For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.” — Romans 6:23

God, in His mercy, sent His Son Jesus to die in our place, to take the penalty we deserved. “But God shows His love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” — Romans 5:8

Jesus did not remain in the grave — He rose from the dead, defeating sin and death once for all. To be saved, you must repent and trust in Him. “If you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved.” — Romans 10:9

That is the hope Charlie carried. That is the reason he stood fearless. He knew death was not the end, but the beginning of eternity with Christ.

A Call to Respond

If your heart is stirred, God is calling you today. Salvation comes through repentance — turning away from sin, which is anything we know is wrong or that separates us from God — and trusting Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior.

Repentance means honestly acknowledging your sins, asking God to forgive them, and choosing to turn from them with His help. Trusting Jesus means believing that His death on the cross paid for your sins, that He rose again, and that He is alive to guide, strengthen, and transform your life.

You can respond with a simple prayer, such as:

“Lord Jesus, I repent of my sins. I turn from all that I know is wrong and turn to You. I believe You died for me and rose again. I trust You as my Lord and Savior. Take my life, forgive me, and make me Yours forever. Amen.”

When you do this, you are forgiven, welcomed into God’s family, and given the Holy Spirit to guide you every day. Your old life begins to be transformed, and your eternal life with Christ begins.

“Repent therefore, and turn again, that your sins may be blotted out.” — Acts 3:19

“Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.” — Romans 10:13

Charlie is with Christ now, and his witness continues through every person who stands for truth and every heart that responds to Jesus. Stand. Believe. Live.

What next? 

If you prayed this prayer and want guidance on how to grow in your new life with Christ, this resource will help you take the next steps:

7 Things To Do After Getting Saved

7-things-to-do-after-getting-saved-copy-copy.pdf

Read article responding to God’s call:

Responding to God’s Call: Salvation, Repentance and Eternal Life

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Pic courtesy: Facebook/ Charlie Kirk

Stop Blaming God for the Bad Things

Published on by Editor

When tragedy strikes or life takes a painful turn, it’s natural to look for someone to blame. For many, that blame is directed at God. “Why did He let this happen?” “Why didn’t He stop it?” “Why didn’t He answer my prayer?” These are real and raw questions that come from deep places of heartbreak. But one truth must be remembered: just because something happens doesn’t mean God caused it.

Free Will and Human Responsibility

From the very beginning, God gave humanity one of the greatest—and most dangerous—gifts: free will. We are not robots, but people with the ability to choose. And with that freedom comes the possibility of both great good and deep harm. Much of the world’s suffering isn’t authored by God—it is the result of human choices.

When someone chooses hatred, greed, violence, or selfishness, others are often caught in the fallout. God allows us to choose because real love, obedience, and faith can only exist where there is freedom. But with that gift comes great responsibility—and real consequences.

So Why Doesn’t God Intervene?

If God is good and powerful, why doesn’t He stop all evil and suffering? Why doesn’t He intervene in every tragedy?

Because to do so every time would mean overriding human free will. He would have to stop every harmful thought before it became action, every wrong word before it was spoken. We would no longer be free beings, but pre-programmed automatons. And real love cannot exist without real choice.

But there’s another, deeply hopeful reason God delays intervention: He is merciful and longsuffering. Scripture tells us, “The Lord is not slow in keeping His promise… He is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance” (2 Peter 3:9). God endures the evil and brokenness in the world not because He doesn’t care—but because He longs to give every soul a chance to turn to Him.

His delay is not absence; it’s grace.

When God Doesn’t Heal

Perhaps one of the most painful tests of faith is when we pray fervently for someone to be healed, and God chooses not to heal them—at least not on this side of eternity. It feels unfair. We wonder, “Why did He heal them and not my loved one?” “Did I not have enough faith?” “Did He not hear me?”

This is where the mystery of God’s sovereignty meets our limited understanding. Healing is one way God shows His power—but it’s not the only way. Sometimes, in His eternal wisdom, God allows a person to pass into eternity, even though it breaks our hearts.

We must remember that death is not the end for those who are in Christ. In God’s eyes, healing may come in the form of release from earthly suffering and entrance into eternal wholeness. To us, it looks like loss—but to God, it may be mercy. Isaiah 57:1 says, “The righteous perish, and no one takes it to heart; the devout are taken away, and no one understands that the righteous are taken away to be spared from evil.”

It also challenges the entitlement mentality that says, “Well, He did it for them, so He owes it to me.” But God is not a vending machine. He is not obligated to operate by our timelines or our logic. He is a loving Father who sees the whole picture—past, present, and future—and acts from a place of perfect wisdom.

Who Are We to Question the Potter?

In these moments of confusion, frustration, or even anger, it’s easy to question God’s decisions. But Scripture reminds us of our place—and God’s authority—in Romans 9:20–21:

“But who are you, a human being, to talk back to God? Shall what is formed say to the one who formed it, ‘Why did you make me like this?’ Does not the potter have the right to make out of the same lump of clay some pottery for special purposes and some for common use?”

We are the clay. He is the Potter. He sees the design, the purpose, the future we cannot see. There’s a holy humility in accepting that we won’t always understand, but we can always trust the One who shaped us.

And that’s the essence of faith—trusting even when we don’t see the full picture. God allows certain things not because He is cruel, but because He sees the full story when we only see a chapter. He knows what we do not. And in His sovereignty and wisdom, He allows things we don’t understand for purposes we may not yet see. We don’t have to understand—we are simply called to trust that He is good, He is just, and He is in control.

God Is Still at Work

Even when we don’t understand, Romans 8:28 assures us: “And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.” Not that all things are good, but that God can use even the worst circumstances to produce something redemptive.

He is the only One who can bring beauty from ashes, purpose from pain, and hope from heartache.

A Different Perspective

Blaming God may feel justified in the moment—but it often blinds us to what He’s doing behind the scenes. Instead of asking “Why didn’t God…?” we can begin to ask, “What might God want to do through this?” or “How can I trust Him more deeply in this season?”

Faith doesn’t mean we always get the answers we want. It means we trust the One who holds the answers—even when they’re hidden from us.

Conclusion

God is not the source of evil. He is not indifferent to our pain. He honors the free will He gave us—even when it leads to suffering. In His great patience, He gives space for repentance. In His wisdom, He sometimes says no when we ask for healing. And in His sovereignty, He allows what we don’t always understand—because He sees what we cannot.

Rather than blaming God for the brokenness in this world, let us turn to Him—the only One who can truly heal it. He is the Potter. We are the clay. And He can be trusted, even in the dark.

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** Photo by Jane Mir at Pexels

No Fear in Death: The Hope That Only Jesus Gives

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For many—especially in later years—death becomes a more pressing and personal thought. As the pace of life slows down, and we watch friends and loved ones pass on, it’s not uncommon for quiet fears to settle in: What will happen when I die? Will I suffer? Is there anything beyond this life?

For some, these questions are pushed aside with busyness or distraction. But for others—especially those who are older, unwell, or alone—the fear of death can feel overwhelming. Perhaps it’s the fear of pain, or of the unknown. For some, it’s the worry that they haven’t lived a “good enough” life. For others, it’s the painful reality of not knowing what comes next.

And yet, this article comes to you with a message of peace, hope, and truth. You don’t have to face death with fear. You don’t have to carry this burden in silence. There is One who has gone ahead of you—and who has already defeated death on your behalf.

His name is Jesus Christ.

Jesus Conquered the Grave

Death is real. But so is the resurrection.

The Bible tells us that death entered the world through sin, but that Jesus entered the world to defeat both. He lived a sinless life, died on the cross to pay the penalty for our sins, and rose again from the dead—conquering death once and for all.

“I am the resurrection and the life. The one who believes in Me will live, even though they die.” — John 11:25

This isn’t just a comforting idea—it’s a proven reality, witnessed by hundreds of people in Jesus’ day and preserved through centuries of transformed lives. The resurrection means that death is not the end for those who trust in Jesus. It is a doorway into eternal life with God.

For the Christian: Death Has Lost Its Sting

If you already believe in Jesus, you don’t need to fear what comes next.

“O death, where is your sting? O grave, where is your victory? … Thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.” — 1 Corinthians 15:55, 57

For the believer, death is not a punishment—it is a passage into everlasting peace, rest, and joy in the presence of God.

The fear of death begins to melt when you realize that your eternity is secure in the hands of a loving Savior. He promises never to leave you, even in your final moments. And when your time comes, He will walk with you through the valley of the shadow of death—and bring you safely home.

But What If You’re Not Sure Where You Stand With God?

Perhaps you’re not certain whether you’re ready. You may have grown up going to church, or maybe you’ve lived without much thought of God. Maybe you’ve made mistakes, or feel you’ve drifted too far. Or perhaps you’ve just never known for sure what to believe.

You don’t have to stay in that uncertainty. You don’t have to live with fear. There is a way to be sure, and His name is Jesus.

“For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.” — Romans 6:23

The Call to Repent: A Turning Point

The Bible says clearly that we have all sinned. None of us can earn heaven by being “good enough.” But the good news is: God offers forgiveness—not because we deserve it, but because He loves us.

To receive this gift of eternal life, Jesus calls us to repent. That means to turn away from sin—our old life—and turn toward God.

“Repent, then, and turn to God, so that your sins may be wiped out, and times of refreshing may come from the Lord.” — Acts 3:19

Repentance is a change of heart. It means admitting our need for God’s mercy, asking His forgiveness, and choosing to follow Him. It’s not just about feeling sorry—it’s about real surrender.

Forgive Others as God Has Forgiven You

Jesus also teaches us to forgive others. Many people carry the heavy weight of bitterness, pain, and broken relationships. But forgiveness brings freedom—not just for those we forgive, but for our own hearts.

“If you forgive others when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.” — Matthew 6:14

When you let go of past hurts, you open your heart to healing—and to God’s peace.

Trust in Jesus and Receive the Gift of the Holy Spirit

When you turn from sin and trust in Jesus, God not only forgives you—He comes to live within you by His Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit is your Comforter, Guide, and Helper. He gives you strength, assurance, and a deep inner peace, even in your final years or moments.

“Repent and be baptized, every one of you, in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins. And you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit.” — Acts 2:38

This is the new life Jesus offers. A life of peace, purpose, and eternal hope.

A Simple Prayer to Begin Your New Life

If you’re ready to receive Jesus today, you can begin with a sincere prayer like this:

Lord Jesus, I know that I am a sinner and that I need Your forgiveness. I turn away from my sin and choose to follow You. I believe You died for me and rose again. Please come into my life, forgive me, and fill me with Your Holy Spirit. Help me to live for You and forgive others as You have forgiven me. I give You my heart. Thank You for the gift of eternal life. Amen.

You’re Not Alone — Help Is Available

Whether you’re young or old, healthy or ill, it’s never too late to turn to God. Today can be the beginning of your new life. You can face the future with peace, not fear. With confidence, not confusion.

If You’ve Decided to Follow Jesus—or Want to Know More

If you’ve recently made a decision to follow Jesus Christ, or you’re exploring what it means to know Him, you don’t have to walk this journey alone. There are caring people and resources available to support and encourage you.

Helpful Support for Those Seeking Hope and Peace in Christ

If you are looking for trustworthy Christian support as you face questions about life, death, grief, or growing older, these organisations in the UK and USA offer care, prayer, and gospel-centered resources—all firmly grounded in the truth of God’s Word:

United Kingdom 🇬🇧

Pilgrims’ Friend Society

Caring for older people with dignity and Christian compassion, offering homes, support, and encouragement focused on eternal hope in Jesus Christ.

Website: www.pilgrimsfriend.org.uk

Phone: 0300 303 1403

Faith in Later Life

Helping churches and communities support older people with biblical resources, encouragement, and the good news of Jesus.

Website: www.faithinlaterlife.org

Phone: 020 4571 0770

Care for the Family – Bereavement Support

Providing Christian-based help for those facing grief, loneliness, or loss, with a heart of compassion and biblical comfort.

Website: www.careforthefamily.org.uk

Phone: 029 2081 0800

United States 🇺🇸

Peace With God – Billy Graham Evangelistic Association

Offering 24/7 gospel help, live chat, and biblical resources to explore faith and receive personal prayer and encouragement.

Website: www.peacewithgod.net

Grief-Share

A Christ-centered support ministry helping people through grief using Scripture, prayer, and small group support.

Website: www.griefshare.org

Phone: 1-800-395-5755

Focus on the Family – Counseling & Care

Offering biblical articles, prayer, and help through trained Christian counselors for those dealing with fear, grief, or family challenges.

Website: www.focusonthefamily.com

Phone: 1-800-A-FAMILY (1-800-232-6459)

You are not alone.

There is real peace, comfort, and assurance in Jesus Christ—for this life and for eternity. Whether you’re seeking answers, prayer, or simply someone to talk to, these ministries are here to help you walk with Christ—without fear.

What next? 

7 Things To Do After Getting Saved

7-things-to-do-after-getting-saved-copy-copy.pdf

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*** Photo by Josh Sorenson at Pexels

Breaking Free from the Orphan Spirit, Self-Pity, and Victim Mentality

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The spirit of self-pity is a powerful and deceptive force that keeps people trapped in cycles of discouragement, victimhood, and isolation. It is a subdivision of the orphan spirit, which operates through feelings of rejection, abandonment, and a lack of true identity in Christ. While the orphan spirit causes people to feel fatherless—struggling with belonging and love—the spirit of self-pity keeps them focused on their pain, disappointments, and perceived injustices rather than on God’s truth and healing.

The world is filled with people who, despite their successes or outward confidence, struggle with a deep-rooted sense of rejection, abandonment, and victimhood. This unseen yet powerful force is often referred to as the orphan spirit—a mindset that convinces people they are alone, unwanted, and must fight for everything on their own.

Closely tied to this is the spirit of self-pity and victim mentality, which leads individuals to dwell on past hurts, blame others for their struggles, and believe that life is unfairly stacked against them. But there is good news: God never intended for us to live as orphans, slaves to our past, or prisoners of self-pity. Through Christ, we are offered sonship, freedom, and identity as beloved children of God. This article explores the orphan spirit, its effects, and how we can fully embrace our God-given identity through the renewal of our minds.

Understanding the Spirit of Self-Pity and Victim Mentality

Characteristics of the Spirit of Self-Pity

1. Victim Mentality – A person under this influence constantly feels like life is unfair, that others are against them, and that they are always on the receiving end of mistreatment.

2. Emotional Paralysis – Instead of seeking healing or moving forward, self-pity keeps people stuck in their wounds, reliving past hurts instead of embracing growth.

3. Attention-Seeking Behavior – Those struggling with self-pity may often seek affirmation from others, hoping to receive sympathy rather than seeking true healing from God.

4. Resentment and Bitterness – When self-pity goes unchecked, it can turn into deep resentment toward God and others, leading to an inability to forgive.

5. Isolation and Loneliness – It convinces people that no one understands them or cares, reinforcing the orphan spirit’s lie that they are alone.

How It Ties into the Orphan Spirit

The orphan spirit makes people feel unloved, unwanted, and abandoned, leading them to seek identity and worth outside of God. The spirit of self-pity then feeds off this orphan mindset, reinforcing the idea that “no one cares” or “God has forgotten me.” This combination prevents people from embracing their identity as sons and daughters of God, keeping them in bondage to their emotions, past experiences, and negative perceptions of life.

Understanding the Orphan Spirit

The orphan spirit is not just about being physically fatherless; it is a spiritual condition that makes people feel abandoned, rejected, and unworthy. Those who struggle with this spirit often:

• Feel like they must earn love and approval

• Live in constant fear of rejection

• Have difficulty trusting others, including God

• Struggle with deep-seated insecurities

• Operate in self-reliance rather than surrender to God

This mindset is dangerous because it keeps people from fully embracing the love and security that God offers. Instead of seeing themselves as sons and daughters of God, they see themselves as outsiders looking in—never truly belonging.

Romans 8:15 (NIV) – “The Spirit you received does not make you slaves, so that you live in fear again; rather, the Spirit you received brought about your adoption to sonship. And by him we cry out, ‘Abba, Father.’”

God calls us His children, not orphans. To live in an orphan spirit is to deny the full inheritance and identity He has given us.

How Family Wounds Contribute to the Orphan Spirit

The Connection Between the Orphan Spirit, Self-Pity, and a Victim Mentality

Many people struggle with the orphan spirit, self-pity, and a victim mentality because of deep wounds from past relationships—especially with parents, family, or authority figures. When we experience rejection, neglect, or abandonment, it can shape how we see ourselves, how we relate to others, and even how we view God.

These wounds can make us feel like:

• We are unloved or not good enough.

• We must strive for approval and prove our worth.

• No one truly understands or cares about us.

• We are alone, with no one to protect or provide for us.

If these wounds are not healed, they can open the door for the orphan spirit, leading to self-pity and a victim mentality.

1. How Family Wounds Create the Orphan Spirit

Many struggles with identity and self-worth begin in childhood, often due to broken relationships with fathers, mothers, or caregivers.

Father Wounds

The father’s role is to provide love, protection, guidance, and affirmation. If a father was absent, neglectful, abusive, or emotionally distant, it can lead to:

• Feeling unwanted or rejected—leading to an orphan spirit.

• Struggling to trust authority—thinking that leadership will always fail or abandon you.

• Seeking approval through performance—believing love must be earned.

• Fear of rejection—assuming others will eventually leave or betray you.

How This Affects Your Relationship with God:

• You may struggle to see God as a loving, trustworthy Father.

• You might think you have to earn God’s love instead of receiving it freely.

• You may feel that God is distant, silent, or uninterested in your struggles.

Mother Wounds

A mother provides nurturing, comfort, and emotional security. If a mother was overly critical, absent, or emotionally unavailable, it can cause:

• Insecurity and low self-worth—feeling like you’re never “good enough.”

• Fear of abandonment—leading to clinginess or extreme independence.

• Seeking validation from unhealthy relationships—trying to fill the emotional void.

• Self-pity and emotional instability—constantly feeling rejected or unloved.

How This Affects Your Relationships:

• You may struggle with emotional intimacy, either fearing closeness or becoming overly dependent.

• You may seek constant validation from others, feeling empty without external approval.

• You might have difficulty receiving love, believing you are unworthy of it.

Family and Generational Patterns

Beyond parents, family culture can reinforce the orphan spirit. If you grew up in an environment of:

• Dysfunction, brokenness, or divorce—you may feel unsafe and abandoned.

• Comparison or favoritism—you may feel unseen or unworthy.

• Emotional or physical abuse—you may struggle with fear, anger, or self-hatred.

How This Affects Your Mindset:

• You may develop a victim mentality, feeling like life is unfair and always against you.

• You may live in self-pity, believing you will never be loved, helped, or valued.

• You may expect rejection and failure, making it hard to trust or take risks.

How the Orphan Spirit Leads to Self-Pity and a Victim Mentality

When people experience deep wounds, they often feel powerless and abandoned, which can lead to self-pity and a victim mindset.

Signs of Self-Pity & Victim Mentality:

• Blaming Others – Feeling like your life is unfair because of what others have done to you.

• Feeling Powerless – Believing that you can’t change your life or move forward.

• Constantly Seeking Sympathy – Wanting people to feel sorry for you instead of seeking healing.

• Resisting Accountability – Rejecting correction because it feels like further rejection.

• Fearing Rejection – Assuming that people will abandon or betray you.

• Living in the Past – Focusing on past hurts instead of God’s healing and future plans.

Self-pity keeps you trapped because it shifts focus from healing to hopelessness. It makes people believe:

• “No one understands me.”

• “Nothing ever goes right for me.”

• “I’ll always be broken, rejected, or abandoned.”

But these are lies from the enemy! God has called you to freedom, healing, and victory.

Self-Assessment: Do You Have an Orphan Spirit or a Spirit of Sonship?

Orphan Spirit vs. Sonship Questionnaire

This questionnaire is designed to help identify whether someone is operating from an orphan spirit or living in the sonship that God has given through Christ. Answer each question honestly.

Part 1: Identity & Relationship with God

1. Do you struggle to believe that God truly loves and accepts you?

• □ Yes (Orphan)

• □ No (Sonship)

2. Do you feel like you have to earn God’s love through performance, good works, or striving?

• □ Yes (Orphan)

• □ No (Sonship)

3. When you sin or make a mistake, do you feel like you must hide from God or that He is angry with you?

• □ Yes (Orphan)

• □ No (Sonship)

4. Do you see yourself as God’s beloved child, or do you feel more like a servant/slave in His kingdom?

• □ I feel more like a servant (Orphan)

• □ I know I’m His beloved child (Sonship)

Part 2: Relationship with Others

5. Do you often compare yourself to others, feeling either inferior or superior?

• □ Yes (Orphan)

• □ No (Sonship)

6. Do you struggle with jealousy or competition, feeling the need to prove yourself?

• □ Yes (Orphan)

• □ No (Sonship)

7. Do you have trouble trusting others, fearing that they will reject or abandon you?

• □ Yes (Orphan)

• □ No (Sonship)

8. Do you struggle with receiving love, encouragement, or correction from spiritual leaders or mentors?

• □ Yes (Orphan)

• □ No (Sonship)

Part 3: Emotional and Mental State

9. Do you often feel lonely, unwanted, or like you don’t belong?

• □ Yes (Orphan)

• □ No (Sonship)

10. Do you battle self-pity, feeling like no one understands or cares about you?

• □ Yes (Orphan)

• □ No (Sonship)

11. Do you live with a constant fear of failure, rejection, or abandonment?

• □ Yes (Orphan)

• □ No (Sonship)

12. Do you feel secure in your identity in Christ, knowing you are loved regardless of circumstances?

• □ No (Orphan)

• □ Yes (Sonship)

Part 4: Spiritual Growth & Freedom

13. When you pray, do you feel like a child talking to their loving Father, or do you feel distant from God?

• □ Distant/Disconnected (Orphan)

• □ Close/Intimate (Sonship)

14. Do you struggle with condemnation and guilt, or do you walk in the confidence of God’s grace?

• □ I struggle with guilt (Orphan)

• □ I walk in grace (Sonship)

15. Do you serve God out of love and joy, or out of duty and obligation?

• □ Duty/Obligation (Orphan)

• □ Love/Joy (Sonship)

How to Evaluate Your Answers

• If you answered mostly “Orphan”, it’s likely that the orphan spirit is influencing your thoughts, emotions, and actions. But the good news is that God is calling you into freedom, identity, and sonship!

• If you answered mostly “Sonship”, you are walking in your identity as a child of God, but continue to grow in His love and confidence.

Would you like help in moving from an orphan mindset to fully embracing your sonship in Christ?

Reborn and Led by The Spirit

As born-again Christians, we are spiritually reborn and called to live by the Spirit, not by the mindset of the world. Galatians 3:26-29 states:

“For you are all sons of God through faith in Christ Jesus. For as many of you as were baptized into Christ have put on Christ. There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is neither male nor female; for you are all one in Christ Jesus. And if you are Christ’s, then you are Abraham’s seed, and heirs according to the promise.”

This passage reminds us that in Christ, we are a new creation, no longer bound by worldly divisions, labels, or old identities. The orphan spirit—including self-pity—is tied to the old way of thinking, where people define themselves by past wounds, social status, or human identity rather than their identity in Christ.

Renewing the Mind and Overcoming the Orphan Spirit

Romans 12:2 emphasizes this transformation:

“Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.”

This renewal happens through:

1. Obeying the Holy Spirit – The Spirit leads us into truth, teaching us to reject self-pity, fear, and an orphan mindset. (John 16:13)

2. Thinking Differently from the World – The world teaches us to dwell on pain, offense, and injustice, but we are called to focus on God’s truth, love, and purpose. (Colossians 3:2)

3. Walking in Sonship – Instead of acting like spiritual orphans—seeking validation, striving, or feeling abandoned—we rest in the reality that we are God’s children, fully loved and accepted. (Romans 8:15-17)

Living as Spirit-Led, Reborn Christians

If we truly follow the leading of the Holy Spirit, we won’t allow self-pity, victimhood, or worldly thinking to dominate our lives. Instead, we will:

• Walk in boldness and confidence in our identity as children of God.

• Refuse to dwell on past hurts because we know we are healed and redeemed.

• See ourselves as God sees us—not by worldly status, race, or background, but as part of God’s kingdom.

• Live in gratitude and faith, knowing that we are heirs of the promise.

How to Practically Walk in Sonship and Reject the Orphan Spirit

Living as a renewed, Spirit-led believer means intentionally rejecting old thought patterns and embracing our identity in Christ daily. Here’s how you can walk this out practically:

Renew Your Mind Daily with God’s Word

• Meditate on Scripture – Read and declare verses about your identity in Christ, such as:

• Romans 8:15-17 – “You have received the Spirit of adoption, by whom we cry, ‘Abba, Father!’”

• Ephesians 1:4-5 – “He predestined us for adoption to Himself as sons through Jesus Christ.”

• Replace Lies with Truth – Whenever thoughts of self-pity, rejection, or fear come, speak God’s truth over yourself.

Breaking Free from the Spirit of Self-Pity

1. Recognise It as a Spiritual Battle

Self-pity is not just an emotional issue; it is a spiritual stronghold that must be confronted with truth. The enemy uses self-pity to keep people inward-focused and defeated, but God calls us to walk in faith, freedom, and victory (2 Corinthians 10:4-5).

2. Repent and Renounce It

Acknowledge self-pity as a sinful mindset that contradicts God’s promises. Repent for believing the lies of the enemy, renounce self-pity in prayer, and ask for God’s forgiveness.

3. Embrace Your Identity in Christ

The antidote to the orphan spirit is sonship. God has not left us as orphans—He calls us His beloved children:

“For you did not receive the spirit of bondage again to fear, but you received the Spirit of adoption by whom we cry out, ‘Abba, Father.’” (Romans 8:15)

Meditate on scriptures that affirm God’s love and your position as His child (Galatians 4:7, John 1:12).

4. Shift Focus to Gratitude

Self-pity thrives on what is lacking, but gratitude shifts the focus to God’s blessings and faithfulness.

“In everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.” (1 Thessalonians 5:18)

Start keeping a gratitude journal—write down daily testimonies of God’s goodness.

5. Engage in Spiritual Warfare

Pray against the stronghold of self-pity and declare God’s truth over your life. Use scriptures like:

• Isaiah 41:10 – “Do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God.”

• 2 Timothy 1:7 – “For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and a sound mind.”

• Psalm 147:3 – “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.”

6. Seek Godly Community

Isolation fuels self-pity, but healing happens in community. Surround yourself with believers who will encourage you, speak life into you, and hold you accountable.

Walking in Freedom and Sonship

The spirit of self-pity is a deceptive tool of the enemy, keeping people trapped in pain and powerlessness. But God calls His children to live in freedom, faith, and fullness.

By rejecting self-pity and embracing God’s love and truth, we can break free from the orphan spirit and walk in our true identity as beloved sons and daughters of God.

Declare This Today:

“I am not an orphan! I am a child of God, loved, accepted, and chosen. I reject self-pity, and I walk in the fullness of God’s promises for my life!”

God has not forgotten you. He has not abandoned you. You are His child—chosen, loved, and set apart for His glory.

It’s time to rise above self-pity, cast off the orphan spirit, and step into the abundant life Christ has for you.

Recognize the Lies & Replace Them with Truth

The enemy uses wounds from the past to make us believe we are alone, rejected, or unworthy. But God’s Word says:

• Lie: “I am alone.” → Truth: “God will never leave me nor forsake me.” (Deuteronomy 31:6)

• Lie: “I have to earn love.” → Truth: “I am accepted in the Beloved.” (Ephesians 1:6)

• Lie: “I will always be rejected.” → Truth: “Nothing can separate me from God’s love.” (Romans 8:38-39)

• Lie: “My past defines me.” → Truth: “Anyone in Christ is a new creation.” (2 Corinthians 5:17)

These truths from God’s Word help break the power of the orphan spirit and victim mentality. Whenever you hear the lies of the enemy, counter them with God’s truth. Remember, you are loved, accepted, and chosen by God.

Forgive & Let Go of the Past

One of the biggest ways the orphan spirit and self-pity hold people captive is through unforgiveness. To fully walk in freedom, you must release any bitterness, resentment, or pain from your past.

• Forgive parents or family members who hurt you.

• Forgive yourself for any wrong choices you’ve made.

• Forgive God if you have felt like He abandoned you.

Prayer for Forgiveness:

“Father, I forgive those who have hurt me. I release them from any debt they owe me. I choose to walk in freedom, not in bitterness. Heal my heart and fill me with Your love. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.”

Conclusion: Embracing Your True Identity in Christ

Healing from the orphan spirit, self-pity, and victim mentality requires recognizing the lies that have held you captive and replacing them with God’s truth. These deceptive forces keep individuals trapped in cycles of rejection, discouragement, and powerlessness. However, through Christ, we are no longer orphans—we are beloved sons and daughters of God, fully accepted and deeply loved. This journey involves forgiving those who have hurt you, forgiving yourself, and allowing God to heal the wounds of your past. As you embrace your true identity, you will experience the freedom, love, and peace that only He can offer, walking in the fullness of His promises and living in the victory He has already secured for you.

Final Declaration:

I reject the orphan spirit, self-pity, and victim mentality. I embrace my identity as a beloved child of God. I walk in freedom, victory, and the fullness of His promises for my life!”Now is the time to rise up, shake off the chains of the past, and step boldly into your God-given destiny. You are no longer an orphan. You are a beloved child of God, free and victorious in Christ, walk in the power of that truth!