7 Attitudes That Will Kill Your Gratitude

While ingratitude comes naturally to us, gratitude is something that we must consciously cultivate and grow in our hearts. Unfortunately, there are are several “attitudes” that will smother, annihilate, and otherwise kill our gratitude.

Here are 7 attitudes that will kill your gratitude:

  1. Comparison

When I hand my children each a pile of goldfish crackers for a snack, their first inclination is to start counting their goldfish. Why? Because they want to BE SURE that the piles are distributed equally. In their selfish little hearts, their first inclination is to test for “fairness” rather than being grateful for the gift that they have been given.

Adults are not immune to this behavior! We are constantly comparing ourselves with other people, afraid that God has shorted us and given somebody else more. All too often, we do not even pause to thank God for all of the amazing, undeserved blessings that He has showered us with.

Antidote: If you struggle with comparisons, try reaching out to people who have less than you do. You WILL come away counting your blessings.

  1. Entitlement

The moment that we start to think that we deserve something is the moment that we cease to feel thankful for it. If I feel that I deserve roses on Valentine’s Day, than I will not feel very grateful when my husband presents me with roses on Valentine’s Day. After all, I deserved them!

The problem with this thinking is that we don’t deserve anything. Every good gift that God gives us is undeserved and should elicit joy and thanksgiving in our hearts.

Antidote: Take a moment to read Philippians 2:1-18. When we pause to remember the judgement that we truly deserve, and the forgiveness that God has given to us through the life and death of His perfect Son Jesus Christ, entitlement is replaced with true gratitude.

  1. Busyness

It is hard to slow down to be grateful when we are so busy we can hardly breathe. If we are so consistently busy that we have no time left to feel and express gratitude, than something is terribly, horribly wrong in our lives.

Jesus told Martha that, in spite of all Martha’s busyness with “good works”, Mary had chosen the better thing – time spent building a relationship with God. (Luke 10:38-42)

God is calling us to first of all have a relationship with Him, and part of this relationship includes gratitude. If we are too busy to be grateful to God, than we are not walking in His will, despite all the “wonderful” things that we might be doing “for” Him.

  1. Worry

Worry about the future quickly saps the energy out of present gratitude. Worry accomplishes nothing but to rob us of joy and gratitude in this present moment and to demonstrate our lack of trust in our Heavenly Father.

Antidote: Read Matthew 6:25-34. Worship is the perfect antidote to worry. Worry says, “My house might burn down to the ground! What am I going to do? AGHHH!” Worship says, “Yes, my house may burn down to the ground, but God is still in control. God has promised me a better home in heaven anyway. May God be glorified in my life regardless of what happens.”

  1. Perfectionism

This one is ugly. It is hard to be thankful when all we can focus on are the negatives and faults of the people and things around us.

Antidote: Imagine what life would be like if that one “imperfect” thing that you are focusing on were completely removed from your life. (For example, your husband may have some quirks that drive you crazy. But can you imagine life without your husband?) Then, take some time to thank God for the imperfect blessings that surround you. Thank God that He does not discard you even with all of your “imperfections”. Ask God to help you really see the good blessings that He has given you.

  1. High Expectations

How would your kids respond if they got up on Christmas morning and discovered that there was just one shoe box for each of them under the tree filled with a couple of small toys, a toothbrush and toothpaste, and a box of crayons? Would their faces mirror the delight and excitement of the faces of these children who are ecstatic to receive this same box? What is the difference?
I believe the difference lies in two words: High Expectations. When our lives revolve around high expectations, we will be disappointed. When we have low expectations, we are likely to be thrilled and grateful when reality exceeds our expectations.

Antidote: Remember that we are living in a sin cursed, fallen world. This life guarantees us nothing. Let’s place our high expectations in the life to come. Thank God that, because of His beautiful plan of salvation, this world is not our only hope. Take time to be thankful for the things in life that you have now, remembering that there is no guarantee that you will still have them tomorrow.

  1. Exhaustion

I know that many of you reading this right now are exhausted. Perhaps you have a newborn baby, are experiencing insomnia because of hormonal changes, or are working non-stop just to make ends meet.

If you are in any of these situations, my heart goes out to you. It is difficult to be grateful when we are physically spent.

Antidote: If at all possible, you may need to set some things aside to allow yourself more time to rest. Prioritize a couple of minutes a day to read God’s Word and thank Him for His good gifts. If you have a hard time praying because you fall asleep, try writing your prayers to God in a small journal, including thanksgivings.

Gratitude is a state of heart that we need to be consciously cultivating.
We need to be protecting our gratitude from these seven attitudes that will kill our gratitude.

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By Anna Joy / Picture by Pixabay

A Ticket Without A Seat

An award winning animated movie by viral fox called ‘ticket without a seat’ based on the simple acts of kindness, thoughtfulness and compassion; and how one’s perception of life can change how you live it and thrive therein.

Abiding in Gratitude

“And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him.” (Colossians 3:17)

If we are not careful, we will spend an entire lifetime wishing for the things we do not yet have. So often I myself am guilty of this, so today I want to encourage you not to wish one more minute of your precious life away. We must carry hope with us. In fact, Proverbs 13:12 tells us, “hope deferred makes the heart sick.” We must hope and pray for the good things God has in store for our lives, but we must also embrace right where we are because today is a day you will never get back. If we do not guard our hearts diligently, discontentment will rob you of everything good in your life if you allow it too. But we can fight discontentment by digging up the things in our heart that shouldn’t be there and replacing them with good things.

There are many roots of discontentment, so today I want to challenge you to find the cause of those roots, dig them up, and plant seeds of thankfulness and gratitude. You don’t have to worry about your future because God already has it written in the palm of His hand. And if God is already there, you can bet it’s going to be something wonderful. Bitterness, envy, and anxiety breed discontentment, but thankfulness breeds contentment. Gratitude will overflow into every area of your life.

Practice thankfulness in this moment, no matter what your situation may be. Just as the apostle Paul spoke about in Philippians 4:8, set your minds on whatever is true, noble, right, pure, lovely, honourable, admirable, excellent and praiseworthy. Don’t allow discontentment to rob you of today’s blessings.

By Tiffany Langford from Unveiled Wife

My Testimony: From Searching to Surrender

From New Age beliefs to finding truth, healing and new life in Jesus Christ.

I grew up in a dysfunctional, secular household, like many homes today, in a large town in England. From a young age, I always felt there was more to life than what I could see. I believed the spiritual realm was real because I experienced things in our home that I understood to be demonic activity. I never liked horror films because, to me, this stuff was real, not entertainment. Yet, despite those experiences, I was drawn to exploring spirituality and searching for answers.

My mother kept New Age books and materials at home, and I believe young, impressionable minds can absorb far more than we sometimes realise. Over time, I became deeply involved in the New Age movement. I read self-help books, explored astrology and tarot cards, visited mediums, and became interested in reincarnation, past-life regression, yoga, meditation, higher states of consciousness and different spiritual traditions. I believed there were many paths to God and that each person could choose whichever path felt right for them.

Looking back, my life was chaotic. I spent much of my time partying, clubbing, drinking, and being caught up with how others perceived me. I made reckless choices, mixed with the wrong crowds and often wore a mask to hide the hurt and insecurity beneath the surface. I struggled with low self-esteem and was constantly looking for something to make me feel fulfilled. I was, in many ways, running away from myself and from life.

I eventually became a life coach practitioner, working in a field closely connected to many of the beliefs I had embraced. But underneath it all, I was deeply unhappy. I felt depressed, overwhelmed and trapped. I reached a point where I questioned the purpose of living. I even had suicidal thoughts. I remember thinking that if this was all life had to offer, I didn’t want it.

Around that time, I went to stay with my grandmother, who was a Christian. She never imposed her faith on me. We simply spent time together, talking and watching her favourite TV shows. She wasn’t perfect, but she was kind, thoughtful and always thinking of others. Looking back, I can see how she reflected something of Jesus through the way she lived. She knew I was going through some sort of battle. She prayed for me and gave me prayers to read, which brought me some comfort at a time when I felt I was clutching at straws, hoping something would help. She was so patient with me.

Things began to escalate, and it felt as though life was closing in on me. Problems seemed to be mounting in every area of my life, until I reached the end of myself and cried out to God. I knew I had been going in the wrong direction and that I needed Him, even though I didn’t yet fully understand why. I told Him I was sorry for the things I had done. Although I didn’t yet fully understand what repentance meant in the Christian sense, I knew I had lived selfishly and needed His forgiveness. I told God that I no longer wanted to fight Him. I wanted my life to belong to Him, and I asked Him to take it and use it for something good.

That night, something happened that I can only describe as a profound encounter with God. I experienced an overwhelming peace that I cannot explain apart from Him. But there was something more. In that moment, I had a revelation of who Jesus really was. He was no longer simply the baby Jesus I associated with the traditional Catholic image, or Isa, the prophet in Islam, or just another one of my spiritual teachers. I suddenly understood that He was the living Son of God. It was a revelation that changed everything.

Psalm 34:18 reminds us that the Lord is near to those who have a broken heart and saves those who have a contrite spirit. I had cried out to God, and He had heard me.

The following morning, I woke up feeling different. The heaviness was gone, and my mind was clear, as though something had changed within me. I felt refreshed, like a new person.

Having received that revelation, I wanted to understand Jesus more deeply and discover what it meant to follow Him. I began reading the Bible and genuinely wanted to know the truth. Jeremiah 29:13 says, “And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart.” I was beginning to discover more about the One I had encountered that night.

While working abroad, I met an American charity worker who was also a Christian pastor. I told him about my past and what had happened to me. Through Scripture, he helped me understand that there are spiritual laws and boundaries, and that Satan, the enemy, does not have free rein in our lives. As we see in the book of Job, he had to seek God’s permission. When we involve ourselves in things that belong to the enemy’s domain, we can give him a foothold by allowing legal access into our lives, often without even realising it, by the things we do, watch or listen to. I began to understand how my involvement in New Age practices had opened doors to spiritual influences I had not recognised or understood.

Colossians 2:8 and Deuteronomy 18 confronted me deeply. I realised that I couldn’t simply add Jesus to everything else I believed. I had to turn away from the things I had embraced, repent and renounce the New Age beliefs and practices that had deceived me. I also recognised that my work as a life coach practitioner was contrary to God’s Word, and I walked away from it. I could see that the direction of my life had been contrary to His plan and purpose for me.

I am grateful that this pastor spoke truth to me in love. His honesty helped me see things I had not recognised for myself, and I believe the Lord used that encounter at a very significant point in my life.

I also came to understand that Jesus had not come to condemn me, but to save me. John 3:17 tells us, “For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world through Him might be saved.” His goodness and mercy led me to repentance. I came to understand that salvation is found in Jesus Christ alone. He died for our sins and rose again, so that through faith in Him we can be forgiven, reconciled to God and receive eternal life. It was not through my own efforts or anything I could do to make myself right with God, but through His grace and what Jesus had done for me. I could see that He was calling me to a completely new life in Him.

I finished my overseas assignment knowing it would be my last. I had travelled and worked abroad partly because I was trying to run away from my life, but now I knew it was time to return home to England and begin a new chapter. I joined a church and was baptised.

However, that was not the end of my journey. It was the beginning of a new life.

I began to understand what it meant to be born again. God had given me new life through His Holy Spirit, renewing my heart and transforming me from the inside out. I also came to understand that being a Christian is about having a personal relationship with Jesus Christ, knowing Him, learning to trust Him and walking with Him each day. It is not simply about following a religion, but about belonging to Him and allowing Him to shape our lives.

For much of my life, I had struggled with low self-worth, often feeling insignificant and questioning my purpose. Through reading God’s Word, I began to see myself differently. Psalm 139 speaks of how wonderfully we are made and how intimately God knows us, while Genesis 1:27 reminds us that we are created in His image. I came to understand that my worth was not based on my appearance, achievements, possessions or other people’s opinions, but on the fact that I was created in God’s image and known by Him. As 1 Samuel 16:7 reminds us, people look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart. This changed the way I began to see myself and others. I wanted my heart to be pleasing to Him and to grow in my relationship with Him.

The Lord began healing wounded places in my life and restoring my sense of worth and identity. The emptiness I had tried to fill through partying, relationships, possessions, travel and spiritual experiences was being replaced by a fulfilment I found in Jesus. My desires and priorities began to change as He worked in me.

I continued to grow in my relationship with Jesus through prayer, reading His Word and learning to trust and follow Him. I discovered that His Word is alive and powerful. As Hebrews 4:12 reminds us, it is sharper than any two-edged sword. It reaches deep within us, exposing what needs to change, correcting and teaching us, and bringing healing and restoration. I often think of it as the Lord tending the garden of our hearts, removing the weeds and helping what is good to grow.

I also came to understand the precious gift of the Holy Spirit. God gives His Spirit to those who belong to Christ, to guide and strengthen us and help us live the life He calls us to.

I don’t get everything right. I still make mistakes, need to repent and have much to learn. I am a work in progress, and I know the Lord is continuing to shape me. As Galatians 2:20 reminds us, we are called to live by faith in the Son of God. I want to keep walking with Him, not in my own strength, but by His grace.

Over the years, I have also spent time in training and preparation for different areas of ministry. There were things I thought the Lord might be leading me towards, but some doors closed and others opened in unexpected ways. I have come to realise that following God isn’t about titles, platforms or recognition. It is about trusting Him, following where He leads and being faithful in the opportunities He places before us. Proverbs 16:9 says, “A man’s heart plans his way, But the LORD directs his steps.” His Word says obedience is better than sacrifice.

There are many things close to my heart that the Lord has given me a burden for, and I want to remain open to His leading in how He wants me to serve Him. Above all, I want the way I live and the things I do to reflect His love and point others towards Him.

Looking back, I can see God’s mercy throughout my life. I thought I was searching for Him, but He was drawing me to Himself all along. What I once thought was the end of my life became the beginning of a new one. I was lost, and He found me. I was broken, and He met me there.

All glory belongs to Him, for His goodness, His patience, His mercy and the transforming power of His love.

~ Lori 💕

Read the related article: The Truth About New Age Spirituality: 40 Beliefs That Conflict With Scripture.

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*How to be saved: The Path To Salvation, please click: HERE / Photo by Amparo Aledo Vidal