Tag: biography

Afraid of What?

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E.H. Hamilton, a Presbyterian missionary to China, wrote the poem below to reflect upon and commemorate the martyrdom of his fellow missionary J.W. Vinson (1880-1931). In October 1931, as Vinson visited some believers 18 miles from his mission station, the area was overwhelmed by a group of 600 bandits. Vinson was taken hostage along with around 150 others. Offered freedom if he would write a letter to the commanding officer of government troops telling them to withdraw, Vinson declined “unless all the hostages are released”. The bandit chief refused and Vinson was shot and killed. His decapitated body was later found by Edward Currie, and he was buried in the small missionary cemetery in Haichow.

As his captors prepared to execute Vinson, waving a gun in his face they asked him, “Are you afraid?”. A girl who witnessed the event later testified that Vison replied, “No. If you shoot, I go straight to heaven.” This incident inspired E.H. Hamilton to write his poem.

Afraid? Of what?
To feel the spirit’s glad release?
To pass from pain to perfect peace,
The strife and strain of life to cease?
Afraid? Of that?

Afraid? Of what?
Afraid to see the Saviour’s face,
To hear His welcome, and to trace,
The glory gleam from wounds of grace,
Afraid? Of that?

Afraid? Of what?
A flash – a crash – a pierced heart;
Brief darkness – Light – O Heaven’s art!
A wound of His a counterpart!
Afraid? Of that?

Afraid? Of what?
To enter into Heaven’s rest,
And yet to serve the Master blessed?
From service good to service best?
Afraid? Of that?

Afraid? Of what?
To do by death what life could not –
Baptise with blood a stony plot,
Till souls shall blossom from that spot?
Afraid? Of that?

Poem by E.H. Hamilton

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By webtruth.org / Photo Great wall of China by Tom Fisk at pexels

Practising The Presence of God ~ Free eBook

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One of the most adored books on living in God’s presence comes from an unlikely source— a man who was maimed as a young soldier and later became a footman “who was clumsy and broke everything.”

That is the early life of Nicholas Herman before he became Brother Lawrence.

Herman was born around 1610 in Herimenil, Lorraine, a Duchy of France. His birth records were destroyed in a fire at his parish church during the Thirty Years War, a war in which he fought as a young soldier. It was also the war in which he sustained a near-fatal injury that left him quite crippled and in chronic pain for the rest of his life.

Brother Lawrence Learned to Be in God’s Presence While Doing Chores

At mid-life he entered a newly established monastery in Paris where he became the cook for the community which grew to over one hundred members. After fifteen years, his duties were shifted to the sandal repair shop but, even then, he often returned to the busy kitchen to help out.

While repairing sandals or working in the kitchen, Brother Lawrence discovered and then followed a pure and uncomplicated way to walk continually in God’s presence. For some forty years, he lived and walked with God at his side. 

It was not until after his death that a few of his letters were collected. Joseph de Beaufort, representative, and counsel to the local archbishop, first published the letters in a small pamphlet. The following year, in a second publication which he titled, “The Practice of the Presence of God,’ de Beaufort included, as introductory material, the content of four conversations he had with Brother Lawrence.

In this small book, through letters and conversations, Brother Lawrence simply and beautifully explains how to continually walk with God, not from the head but from the heart. 

Brother Lawrence also left the gift of a direct approach to living in God’s presence that is as practical today as it was four hundred years ago.

The conversations between Brother Lawrence and de Beaufort covered many topics but most dealt with man’s responsibility to continually commune with God:

Brother Lawrence related that we should establish ourselves in a sense of God’s Presence by continually conversing with Him. It was a shameful thing to quit His conversation to think of trifles and fooleries. We should feed and nourish our souls with high notions of God which would yield us great joy in being devoted to Him.

He said we ought to quicken and enliven our faith. It was lamentable we had so little. Instead of taking faith for the rule of their conduct, men amused themselves with trivial devotions which changed daily. He said that faith was sufficient to bring us to a high degree of perfection. We ought to give ourselves up to God with regard both to things temporal and spiritual and seek our satisfaction only in the fulfilling of His will. Whether God led us by suffering or by consolation all would be equal to a soul truly resigned.

Brother Lawrence said that the worst that could happen to him was to lose that sense of God which he had enjoyed so long. Yet the goodness of God assured him He would not forsake him utterly and that He would give him strength to bear whatever evil He permitted to happen to him. Brother Lawrence, therefore, said he feared nothing. 

The book includes 15 short letters written by Brother Lawrence during the last ten years of his life to a variety of long time friends.  They are the heart and soul of his ability to live in the constant presence of God.

The account I can give you is: Having found in many books different methods of going to God and diverse practices of the spiritual life, I thought this would serve rather to puzzle me than facilitate what I sought after, which was nothing but how to become wholly God’s. This made me resolve to give the all for the All. After having given myself wholly to God, to make all the satisfaction I could for my sins, I renounced, for the love of Him, everything that was not He, and I began to live as if there was none but He and I in the world.

Sometimes I considered myself before Him as a poor criminal at the feet of his judge. At other times I beheld Him in my heart as my Father, as my God. I worshipped Him the oftenest I could, keeping my mind in His holy presence and recalling it as often as I found it wandered from Him. I made this my business, not only at the appointed times of prayer but all the time; every hour, every minute, even in the height of my work, I drove from my mind everything that interrupted my thoughts of God.

Brother Lawrence never advanced beyond being the cook at the Paris monastery, but he developed the unique gift of being able to pray incessantly with God throughout the entire day and regardless of whatever else he was doing. This unique gift produced such a spiritual change in Brother Lawrence that many people sought him out to learn how to practice the presence of God themselves.

By Daniel So at Justice Ventures International / Picture by Janez Podnar at Pexels

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FREE eBook Download:

FREE eBook: The Practice of the presence of God by Brother Lawrence

My Testimony: From Searching to Surrender

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From New Age beliefs to finding truth, healing and new life in Jesus Christ.

I grew up in a dysfunctional, secular household, like many homes today, in a large town in England. From a young age, I always felt there was more to life than what I could see. I believed the spiritual realm was real because I experienced things in our home that I understood to be demonic activity. I never liked horror films because, to me, this stuff was real, not entertainment. Yet, despite those experiences, I was drawn to exploring spirituality and searching for answers.

My mother kept New Age books and materials at home, and I believe young, impressionable minds can absorb far more than we sometimes realise. Over time, I became deeply involved in the New Age movement. I read self-help books, explored astrology and tarot cards, visited mediums, and became interested in reincarnation, past-life regression, yoga, meditation, higher states of consciousness and different spiritual traditions. I believed there were many paths to God and that each person could choose whichever path felt right for them.

Looking back, my life was chaotic. I spent much of my time partying, clubbing, drinking, and being caught up with how others perceived me. I made reckless choices, mixed with the wrong crowds and often wore a mask to hide the hurt and insecurity beneath the surface. I struggled with low self-esteem and was constantly looking for something to make me feel fulfilled. I was, in many ways, running away from myself and from life.

I eventually became a life coach practitioner, working in a field closely connected to many of the beliefs I had embraced. But underneath it all, I was deeply unhappy. I felt depressed, overwhelmed and trapped. I reached a point where I questioned the purpose of living. I even had suicidal thoughts. I remember thinking that if this was all life had to offer, I didn’t want it.

Around that time, I went to stay with my grandmother, who was a Christian. She never imposed her faith on me. We simply spent time together, talking and watching her favourite TV shows. She wasn’t perfect, but she was kind, thoughtful and always thinking of others. Looking back, I can see how she reflected something of Jesus through the way she lived. She knew I was going through some sort of battle. She prayed for me and gave me prayers to read, which brought me some comfort at a time when I felt I was clutching at straws, hoping something would help. She was so patient with me.

Things began to escalate, and it felt as though life was closing in on me. Problems seemed to be mounting in every area of my life, until I reached the end of myself and cried out to God. I knew I had been going in the wrong direction and that I needed Him, even though I didn’t yet fully understand why. I told Him I was sorry for the things I had done. Although I didn’t yet fully understand what repentance meant in the Christian sense, I knew I had lived selfishly and needed His forgiveness. I told God that I no longer wanted to fight Him. I wanted my life to belong to Him, and I asked Him to take it and use it for something good.

That night, something happened that I can only describe as a profound encounter with God. I experienced an overwhelming peace that I cannot explain apart from Him. But there was something more. In that moment, I had a revelation of who Jesus really was. He was no longer simply the baby Jesus I associated with the traditional Catholic image, or Isa, the prophet in Islam, or just another one of my spiritual teachers. I suddenly understood that He was the living Son of God. It was a revelation that changed everything.

Psalm 34:18 reminds us that the Lord is near to those who have a broken heart and saves those who have a contrite spirit. I had cried out to God, and He had heard me.

The following morning, I woke up feeling different. The heaviness was gone, and my mind was clear, as though something had changed within me. I felt refreshed, like a new person.

Having received that revelation, I wanted to understand Jesus more deeply and discover what it meant to follow Him. I began reading the Bible and genuinely wanted to know the truth. Jeremiah 29:13 says, “And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart.” I was beginning to discover more about the One I had encountered that night.

While working abroad, I met an American charity worker who was also a Christian pastor. I told him about my past and what had happened to me. Through Scripture, he helped me understand that there are spiritual laws and boundaries, and that Satan, the enemy, does not have free rein in our lives. As we see in the book of Job, he had to seek God’s permission. When we involve ourselves in things that belong to the enemy’s domain, we can give him a foothold by allowing legal access into our lives, often without even realising it, by the things we do, watch or listen to. I began to understand how my involvement in New Age practices had opened doors to spiritual influences I had not recognised or understood.

Colossians 2:8 and Deuteronomy 18 confronted me deeply. I realised that I couldn’t simply add Jesus to everything else I believed. I had to turn away from the things I had embraced, repent and renounce the New Age beliefs and practices that had deceived me. I also recognised that my work as a life coach practitioner was contrary to God’s Word, and I walked away from it. I could see that the direction of my life had been contrary to His plan and purpose for me.

I am grateful that this pastor spoke truth to me in love. His honesty helped me see things I had not recognised for myself, and I believe the Lord used that encounter at a very significant point in my life.

I also came to understand that Jesus had not come to condemn me, but to save me. John 3:17 tells us, “For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world through Him might be saved.” His goodness and mercy led me to repentance. I came to understand that salvation is found in Jesus Christ alone. He died for our sins and rose again, so that through faith in Him we can be forgiven, reconciled to God and receive eternal life. It was not through my own efforts or anything I could do to make myself right with God, but through His grace and what Jesus had done for me. I could see that He was calling me to a completely new life in Him.

I finished my overseas assignment knowing it would be my last. I had travelled and worked abroad partly because I was trying to run away from my life, but now I knew it was time to return home to England and begin a new chapter. I joined a church and was baptised.

However, that was not the end of my journey. It was the beginning of a new life.

I began to understand what it meant to be born again. God had given me new life through His Holy Spirit, renewing my heart and transforming me from the inside out. I also came to understand that being a Christian is about having a personal relationship with Jesus Christ, knowing Him, learning to trust Him and walking with Him each day. It is not simply about following a religion, but about belonging to Him and allowing Him to shape our lives.

For much of my life, I had struggled with low self-worth, often feeling insignificant and questioning my purpose. Through reading God’s Word, I began to see myself differently. Psalm 139 speaks of how wonderfully we are made and how intimately God knows us, while Genesis 1:27 reminds us that we are created in His image. I came to understand that my worth was not based on my appearance, achievements, possessions or other people’s opinions, but on the fact that I was created in God’s image and known by Him. As 1 Samuel 16:7 reminds us, people look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart. This changed the way I began to see myself and others. I wanted my heart to be pleasing to Him and to grow in my relationship with Him.

The Lord began healing wounded places in my life and restoring my sense of worth and identity. The emptiness I had tried to fill through partying, relationships, possessions, travel and spiritual experiences was being replaced by a fulfilment I found in Jesus. My desires and priorities began to change as He worked in me.

I continued to grow in my relationship with Jesus through prayer, reading His Word and learning to trust and follow Him. I discovered that His Word is alive and powerful. As Hebrews 4:12 reminds us, it is sharper than any two-edged sword. It reaches deep within us, exposing what needs to change, correcting and teaching us, and bringing healing and restoration. I often think of it as the Lord tending the garden of our hearts, removing the weeds and helping what is good to grow.

I also came to understand the precious gift of the Holy Spirit. God gives His Spirit to those who belong to Christ, to guide and strengthen us and help us live the life He calls us to.

I don’t get everything right. I still make mistakes, need to repent and have much to learn. I am a work in progress, and I know the Lord is continuing to shape me. As Galatians 2:20 reminds us, we are called to live by faith in the Son of God. I want to keep walking with Him, not in my own strength, but by His grace.

Over the years, I have also spent time in training and preparation for different areas of ministry. There were things I thought the Lord might be leading me towards, but some doors closed and others opened in unexpected ways. I have come to realise that following God isn’t about titles, platforms or recognition. It is about trusting Him, following where He leads and being faithful in the opportunities He places before us. Proverbs 16:9 says, “A man’s heart plans his way, But the LORD directs his steps.” His Word says obedience is better than sacrifice.

There are many things close to my heart that the Lord has given me a burden for, and I want to remain open to His leading in how He wants me to serve Him. Above all, I want the way I live and the things I do to reflect His love and point others towards Him.

Looking back, I can see God’s mercy throughout my life. I thought I was searching for Him, but He was drawing me to Himself all along. What I once thought was the end of my life became the beginning of a new one. I was lost, and He found me. I was broken, and He met me there.

All glory belongs to Him, for His goodness, His patience, His mercy and the transforming power of His love.

~ Lori 💕

Read the related article: The Truth About New Age Spirituality: 40 Beliefs That Conflict With Scripture.

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*How to be saved: The Path To Salvation, please click: HERE / Photo by Amparo Aledo Vidal