“Do not judge, so that you will not be judged.”
Matthew 7:1

When Holiness Becomes a Measure of Others

Are we sometimes judging what God has not judged?

Jesus said, “Do not judge, so that you will not be judged.” These words are often quoted, but they are also often misunderstood. Jesus was not telling His followers to abandon discernment, ignore sin, or remain silent when Scripture clearly speaks. He was confronting something deeper, the tendency to examine another person’s life while excusing our own, to measure others by standards God has not given, and to form conclusions about hearts that only God can truly see.

There is a danger on both sides. We can become judgmental, turning personal convictions and outward appearances into measures of another person’s spirituality. But we can also go to the opposite extreme and use grace, Christian liberty and “do not judge” as an excuse for compromise. Scripture calls us to holiness, modesty, purity, self control and obedience. Jesus calls us to the narrow way. The challenge is learning to walk that way without becoming legalistic on one side or compromising on the other.

Perhaps the question we need to ask is not simply, “What is wrong with them?” but, “Am I judging what God has not judged, and am I seeing clearly what God is asking me to change in myself?”

WHAT KIND OF JUDGMENT ARE WE TALKING ABOUT?

When Scripture warns us about judging, it is important to understand what kind of judgment is being condemned. The Bible does not call Christians to abandon discernment or remain silent about sin. We are called to test what we hear, recognise false teaching, distinguish right from wrong and take seriously what God has clearly commanded.

There is also a place for loving correction. If a believer is clearly walking in sin, Scripture gives us a responsibility to address it humbly and privately rather than simply looking the other way. Biblical correction is not hatred. It is intended to restore, not to humiliate.

But there is another kind of judgment that Scripture warns us against. This is the judgment that moves beyond what God has revealed and begins to condemn the person. We see someone’s clothing, possessions, marriage, career, family decisions or circumstances and assume we know their motives, their character or the condition of their relationship with God. We take a personal preference and treat it as a biblical command.

The distinction is important. Discernment asks what God has said. Correction addresses what Scripture clearly identifies as wrong. Condemnation assumes authority over another person’s heart and judges where God has not spoken.

We must therefore be willing to call sin sin, while being equally careful not to call something sinful merely because it differs from our personal convictions, preferences or circumstances.

HOLINESS, MODESTY, AND THE NARROW WAY

While we must not judge people by standards God has not given, we must also be careful not to swing so far in the opposite direction that we forget what the Bible actually teaches. Christian liberty does not mean that everything is acceptable, and grace does not erase God’s standards. Jesus spoke about the narrow way that leads to life, and Scripture repeatedly calls believers to holiness, purity, self control, modesty and obedience.

This includes the way we present ourselves. First Timothy 2:9 calls believers to dress with modesty, propriety and self control. Modesty is part of a Christian life that seeks to honour God rather than draw unnecessary attention to the body. This applies to both women and men. A woman should not deliberately choose clothing that is revealing, excessively tight or provocative simply to attract sexual attention. A man should not do the same. God’s call to purity is not directed at one gender.

We also need to recognise the society in which we live. Much of Western culture has normalised increasingly revealing fashions and the public display of the body. What is fashionable, common or socially accepted does not automatically become biblical. Romans 12:2 calls believers not to be conformed to the pattern of this world, but to be transformed by the renewing of their minds. Something does not become holy simply because it has become normal.

There are therefore times when Christians should lovingly warn one another. If clothing is clearly designed to be sexually provocative or deliberately revealing, we should not be afraid to speak about biblical modesty simply because the subject is uncomfortable. Yet modesty must not become a man made dress code in which spirituality is measured by the length of a skirt, the number of inches covering the arms, the cut of a shirt, the length of shorts, the wearing of makeup or the absence of jewellery.

Each person is responsible before God for their own thoughts, desires and actions. A man cannot blame a woman’s clothing for his lust, and a woman cannot blame a man’s clothing for hers. At the same time, Christian love teaches us to consider others and not deliberately use our appearance to provoke sexual attention. Purity involves both what we think and how we conduct ourselves toward others.

The narrow way is found between two ditches. On one side is compromise, where biblical standards are ignored in the name of grace. On the other is legalism, where personal standards are imposed on others and outward appearance becomes a measure of spiritual worth. True holiness does not abandon biblical standards, but neither does it create standards that God has not given.

THE PHARISEE PROBLEM

The Pharisees provide a serious warning. They were deeply concerned with outward religious appearance, but Jesus repeatedly exposed the condition of their hearts. In Matthew 23:27, He compared them to whitewashed tombs, which look beautiful outwardly but contain uncleanness within.

That warning reaches far beyond first century Judaism. A person can look respectable, religious and modest while carrying pride, jealousy, bitterness, criticism and superiority in the heart. A woman may dress very conservatively and still condemn other women. A man may dress modestly while harbouring lust, arrogance, anger or hypocrisy.

The length of a skirt cannot reveal the condition of someone’s heart. The presence or absence of makeup cannot reveal humility. The style of a shirt cannot tell us whether someone genuinely loves Christ. This does not make modesty unimportant. It puts modesty in its proper place. Outward obedience matters, but it must flow from an inward life being transformed by Christ.

God is not impressed by an outward appearance that conceals an inward heart that refuses to be transformed.

BEFORE YOU JUDGE, CONSIDER WHAT YOU DO NOT KNOW

One reason judgment is so dangerous is that we rarely know the whole story. We see someone’s car, house, phone, clothing or jewellery, but we do not know how they obtained them. Something may have been purchased, inherited, given as a gift or obtained through years of saving.

We may see someone eating in an expensive restaurant or staying in an expensive hotel and immediately assume that they are worldly or wasteful. We can do the same with education, employment, migration, property, savings and family decisions.

Someone may move to another city or country because of a better salary. Parents may choose a particular school for their children. A wife may work outside the home. Another wife may remain at home. One family may save carefully for years before buying a house, while another may have received one through family circumstances. We simply do not know everything.

The same applies to weddings. One family may have a simple wedding, while another may have a larger celebration because of culture, family circumstances or personal decisions. A large wedding does not automatically prove vanity, just as a small wedding does not automatically prove spirituality.

Isaiah 11:3 reminds us that the righteous judge does not judge merely by what his eyes see or his ears hear. God sees what we cannot see. He knows motives, pressures, responsibilities, opportunities and circumstances that are hidden from us. Before we make a judgment, we should remember how little of the whole picture we actually possess.

OUR PERSONAL DECISIONS ARE NOT ALWAYS OURS TO MANAGE

A major source of judgment comes from believing that other people’s decisions are our responsibility. We may think someone should have a different career, educate their children differently, spend their money differently, live in another place, save more, buy less or make different family decisions. We may even believe that our own choices are evidence of greater wisdom or spirituality.

But Scripture does not call us to manage every decision another believer makes. Titus 2:4-5 speaks of women being workers at home and gives important instruction about family responsibilities. That passage should be taught faithfully. Yet Scripture does not give us permission to declare every Christian wife who works outside the home to be disobedient to God. Circumstances differ, responsibilities differ and consciences differ.

The same principle applies to finances. Christians should be responsible with money, avoid unnecessary debt where possible and repay what they owe. But we should not turn our own financial choices into a standard by which we measure everyone else. Our responsibility is to obey God in the decisions He has entrusted to us, not to become supervisors of everyone else’s lives.

DO NOT BECOME BUSYBODIES

There is a point at which concern for holiness becomes interference in other people’s lives. First Peter 4:15 warns against being a busybody in other people’s affairs. A Christian can become so occupied with what everyone else is doing that they neglect the work God is doing in their own heart.

This can happen in churches very easily. We notice someone’s clothing, car, house, job, holiday, children’s education, wedding, spending habits, hairstyle, entertainment choices or family decisions and begin discussing them with others. But we were not appointed to sit in judgment over every believer around us.

Where advice is genuinely needed and welcomed, we can give it humbly. Where Scripture clearly requires correction, we should not remain silent. But where God has left room for wisdom, conscience or personal circumstance, we should be careful not to turn our preferences into commandments.

WHERE OUR JUDGMENTS OFTEN APPEAR

Our judgments often reveal more about us than about the person we are judging. We may judge someone’s car, house, gadgets, holidays, restaurants, clothing, jewellery or wedding because we personally would not spend money that way.

We may judge a woman for wearing makeup or jewellery, or for dressing differently from our preferred standard of modesty. We may judge a man for having long hair, or someone for dying their hair, watching a particular sport or television programme, celebrating Christmas or Easter, or holding a different view on a secondary issue.

Sometimes our judgment is selective. We condemn lavishness in areas where we ourselves are simple, while overlooking areas where we spend more freely. That is why Jesus told us to examine the log in our own eye before trying to remove the speck from someone else’s.

TEACH THE TRUTH, BUT LEAVE ROOM FOR CONSCIENCE

We should never be afraid to teach the whole counsel of God. If Scripture speaks clearly about holiness, purity, modesty, sexual morality, honesty, love of money or any other matter, the Church should teach it faithfully. We should not change biblical truth simply because society has changed.

But not every disagreement among Christians is a salvation issue, and not every personal conviction should become a test of fellowship. Romans 14 reminds us that believers may differ in certain matters while still belonging to the same Lord. We can hold convictions strongly without treating everyone who disagrees with us as rebellious, worldly or spiritually inferior.

The goal is not to silence conviction. It is to practise conviction with humility. We can say what we believe Scripture teaches while remembering that God alone sees the heart and that our knowledge of another person’s circumstances is limited.

DO NOT LET SECONDARY MATTERS BECOME MORE IMPORTANT THAN JESUS

There is a danger of becoming more passionate about secondary matters than about becoming like Jesus. We can spend enormous amounts of energy discussing clothing, weddings, money, education, entertainment, hairstyles, food, celebrations and lifestyle choices while giving far less attention to pride, unforgiveness, bitterness, jealousy, anger, selfishness and love.

Yet Jesus said the greatest commandments concern loving God and loving our neighbour. First Corinthians 14:1 tells us to pursue love, and Matthew 11:29 calls us to learn from Jesus, who is gentle and humble in heart.

The question is not whether practical matters matter. Some of them do. The question is whether they have become so important to us that they overshadow the character of Christ. A church can be very strict about outward appearance and still lack love. A Christian can be passionate about modesty and still be proud. Someone can defend biblical truth while speaking about other believers with contempt. That is not the holiness Jesus desires.

LOOK AT YOURSELF FIRST

Before correcting someone else, we should ask God to search us. Am I obeying the Scripture I am asking others to obey? Am I more concerned about appearances than character? Am I judging someone because Scripture clearly condemns their conduct, or because they simply do things differently from me? Have I confused my personal preference with a biblical command? Am I using “Christian liberty” to excuse something Scripture actually warns against? Am I using “holiness” to justify pride? Am I speaking about someone whose circumstances I do not understand?

Jesus’ teaching in Matthew 7 brings us back to this uncomfortable but necessary place. Before we try to remove the speck from another person’s eye, we must first deal honestly with the log in our own.

CONCLUSION

A long skirt cannot make a proud heart humble. A modest shirt cannot make an unforgiving heart loving. A simple lifestyle cannot make a judgmental heart righteous. An expensive lifestyle cannot, by itself, prove that someone is worldly.

A suit does not automatically prove arrogance. A plain shirt does not automatically prove humility. A large wedding does not automatically prove vanity. A small wedding does not automatically prove spirituality.

Christianity is not a competition to see who can dress most conservatively, spend the least money, own the fewest possessions or appear the most religious. True holiness is not a performance before people. It is a life increasingly surrendered to Christ.

Let us therefore hold firmly to what Scripture teaches, pursue holiness without legalism, show grace without compromise, and allow God to transform our hearts.

The goal is not to look the most Christian before people. The goal is to become like Christ.

That is the narrow way.

———————-

*** Photo by Keira Burton at Pexels